Reunion
by KeepersOfTheNaughtySparkle
Summary: Edward,once a geek, and Bella secretly crushed on each other since high school. Can their 10 year reunion bring them together? Is one night enough to squelch a decade old passion or will it fan the flames into an unquenchable fire. Lemmony/AU/AH/B
1. She's so High

**Reunion – by KeepersOfTheNaughtySparkle**

**Stephenie Meyer owns the whole lot - we've got nothin'!**

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**Chapter 1 - She's So High**

**(EPOV)**

_Pull it together Cullen. You aren't the nerd you were in high school. _

"Fuck!" I yelled, exhausted by all of my dumb jittery nerves. I raked my hands through my hair again and went in for the pep talk.

I looked myself over in the mirror.

_Glasses gone - check. _

_Braces off - check. _

_Actual muscles - check. _

_Ok, not so bad I guess_.

Just the thought of stepping back in that gymnasium was enough to make me want to say fuck it all.

_Except if I don't step in there, I might never see her again. Am I really putting myself through this just so I can see Bella again? _

* * *

Bella and I had been friends ever since she moved to Forks her junior year, _friends_ being the operative word. We met in Biology class. I was the guy everyone cheated off during tests, but not Bella. She always held her own. She never talked to me because she needed answers or help. She talked to me because she wanted to know how I was. How was I? I was in love, and I was a big pussy who couldn't tell the girl of my dreams I was in love with her.

By senior year, Bella had started dating Mike Newton, the very bane of my existence. He was pretty much everything I wasn't: football player, confident, good looking, and Bella's boyfriend.

Bella and I had almost every class together, and we would talk about everything. I knew more about her than anyone else, I am sure of that, but at the end of every class, there he was. Mike would be leaning up against the wall with his dumb spiky blond hair just waiting for Bella like a puppy.

By the time we reached graduation, I had worked up the nerve to tell her how I felt. Fuck Newton. He wasn't good enough for her anyway. I decided to tell her after the ceremony.

Once our caps had been tossed, and everyone was taking the obligatory pictures with their parents, I went looking for Bella. There were caps and gowns everywhere, worn by other graduates just itching to finish up so they could make it to Tyler Crowley's big graduation party.

I finally spotted her in the sea of people, standing next to Charlie with the sweetest smile on her face. Her mahogany hair was down around her face and her big chocolate eyes had a twinkle in them. Everyone looks awful in graduation gowns, but not Bella. The blue of the gown made her milky skin look beautiful in the sun.

I had always wanted her, and I was finally going to follow through.

I walked over to them and greeted Charlie, then angled for her attention.

"Bella, can we walk a minute?" I asked her, trying to mask my nervousness. She nodded, and told Charlie she'd see him later, and then followed me.

"So are you excited about Dartmouth?" she asked as we walked around the bleachers.

"Sure, it's pretty much been my dream since I was a little kid." I replied, while internally trying to gather my courage.

There was a long silence, which was weird, because there was never silence with Bella. She began fiddling with the tassel of her cap, and looked up at me from under those thick lashes, as if she could hear all of the impure thoughts that were running through my head.

_It's now or never Cullen_, I told myself.

Before I could say a word, she reached up and hugged me. This was the first time we had ever had any type of physical contact other than accidental. I couldn't move at first, the familiar electric shock I always felt when we touched paralyzing me. She had her head buried in my chest. I finally put my arms around her and my nose went straight into her hair. That fucking glorious hair…I had dreamed about touching it, grabbing it.

_Oh God_, I thought.

All I could smell was gardenias, like from my mom's garden, and honey. The scent of her alone was enough to get my heart racing, but actually having her in my arms was causing my hormones to erupt in a very hard and noticeable way. I was losing it and I knew had to pull my shit together.

I tried to open my mouth, and force the words come out, but she was already pulling away. I really had no idea how long we had been hugging, it could have been ten seconds or ten minutes.

_Shit! Too late… _

"Edward," she half whispered, "you have always been such a good friend to me. I just wanted to thank you for being so nice to me when I first came here. I know you are going to be really busy next year, but I hope we can keep in touch. I'm going to miss you."

Alarms started going off in my head.

DANGER! DANGER, WILL ROBINSON! SHE SAID FRIEND!

_She said friend. You are so screwed buddy_, was all I could think.

Just like that, I went back to being Edward Cullen, PussyOut-Extraordinaire.

"Yeah, I want to keep in touch too," I said weakly, while trying to subtly move myself a little further from her, to make sure my fucking hard-on didn't betray my previous thoughts.

"Are you and Mike going to be back for Thanksgiving?" I asked.

"No. Since the University of Florida is only about an hour and a half from Renee I'll go see her," she replied quietly without looking at me.

Angela walked by, and Bella surprised me by asking her to take a picture of us.

Just like that the moment had passed.

Two weeks later, I was packing my car for Dartmouth, since I had been accepted into their summer program and needed to leave right away. My dad had stood by my car with a proud look on his face, and my mom looked like I was moving to Antarctica, and was behaving as if she would never see me again.

We said our goodbyes, and right as I was about to leave, my mom took an envelope out of her pocket.

"Oh, honey, I'm sorry I forgot to give this to you. It was on the front porch this morning", she sniffled as she handed me the white envelope.

Without even opening it, I knew it was from Bella. I took the envelope, got in my car, and promised myself I would get out of Forks before opening it.

I started heading east, and just before I had made it to the I-5, I pulled into a gas station and parked the Volvo. I pulled the envelope from the visor and with a deep breath I tore open the envelope and removed the contents.

It was the photo of us on graduation day.

I looked in to see if there was a note… nothing. On the back of the picture she had written "_Edward and Bella, Graduation 1999_", nothing else. Right there in my car I put away all of my thoughts and hopes for Bella. The message was clear.

She had only wanted me as a friend.

* * *

So now I found myself, 10 years later, getting ready for our stupid high school reunion.

I thought I had packed Bella away that day, but she had always followed me.

In college, after my braces had come off, my body filled out, and I traded my glasses for contacts, girls started paying attention to me. I am not going to lie, getting them to come back to my dorm…touching, feeling, kissing… I enjoyed it, but something never felt right. I did it anyway.

Soon the girls became women, and the touching and kissing turned into blowjobs and one-night stands. It still never felt right, but it was better than nothing.

I ran into Bella's friend Rosalie once, while I was on business in New York. She and Bella had remained long distance friends after high school, and she'd told me Bella was doing well. Rosalie had explained that Bella had made a friend in Florida, and she and they'd started a clothing line together. I wanted to know more, but I was too much of a chicken-shit to ask if she was married. That was the last I had heard about Bella.

"Yo! Douche bag, you're not ready yet?" I was pulled back to the present at the sound of my older brother's yell.

I looked Jasper over. His curly blond hair was peeking out from under a vintage looking fedora and was sporting a vest with a pocket watch hanging from the pocket.

_Very 'Rat Pack'. How in the hell could we be so different_?

"So, tell me again why you're coming with me tonight?" I asked, looking at him out of the corner of my eye while I tried to fix my tie.

"Because I can't let my little bro go in there and become the _fucking idiot_ you used to be when you see her."

I snapped my head around so quickly I almost knocked the ridiculous hat right off of his head.

"What are you talking about 'when I see her'?" I all but spit out at him.

Jasper just gave me a shit-eating grin, cocked his head to the side, and looked me dead in the eye. "Tonight, my boy, you are going to fuck Bella Swan right out of your system."

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**AN - Our chapters are somewhat inspired by the fantabulous songs of 1999. As we add chapters we will add a play list for your listening enjoyment. This Chapter is brought to you by Tal Bachman - _She's so High_ and our very own TFX - Trin you rock!**

**We hope you enjoyed our first installment check back later in the week for Chapter 2 - Waiting For Tonight - After this week we hope to maintain a weekly update schedule!**

**3 Katie, Trin and Meg**


	2. Waiting For Tonight

**We wish it was ours - but it's not...still her's...Stephenie Meyer owns it all.**

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**Chapter 2 - Waiting For Tonight**

**(BPOV)**

"So what do you think Alice? The blue, the black, or the red?" I asked, as I did a little twirl in front of the mirror. Ordinarily, I would never have felt comfortable enough to stand in front of a friend in skimpy lingerie, but Alice had used me as a fit model so often recently, that she had already seen all there was to see.

"Um, which dress did you decide on?" She inquired, while thoughtfully tapping her forefinger on her chin, and quirking her head to the side.

"The black retro one with the red buttons. I was going to go with the blue one, but the silk charmeuse was on backorder. Besides, the black one looks good on me, if I do say so myself," I smiled and winked at her, feigning confidence. My shy, awkward, teen years may be behind me, but I never saw myself as anything other than ordinary. Luckily, I had Alice to give me a confidence boost when needed.

"Well, you don't need to say so for yourself. I will tell you straight up, that black one looked like it was created just for you! I would have had a fit if you had chosen any of my other dresses. Red, to match the trim. Definitely go with the red ones," Alice replied, nodding approvingly, and gesturing towards the lacy red bra and panties I was trying on. "So tell me more about this guy you wanted to see. Was he a friend, or was he a friend friend? You know, like, a little naughty study hall, bow-chicka-wow-wow!" She said, as she did a little dance in her seat.

"God, Alice! No, he was a regular type of friend. It never went any farther than that…" I trailed off; trying to hide the bright blush that I knew was burning on my cheeks.

"Well…did you want it to? I mean, it sounds like maybe you guys had a little chemistry, otherwise why would you still be thinking about him ten years later?" She looked like she wanted to push me for more information, so I decided to spill, rather than have her badger me incessantly for days.

"Well, I spent a lot of time with him, and yeah, I liked him a lot, but I had a boyfriend at the time. Besides, he was sort of geeky, but cute geeky, and he was really smart, but not like arrogant smart, you know?" I looked at Alice to make sure she understood the odd relationship I was trying to explain. She nodded, and I continued.

* * *

I met Edward during my junior year at Forks high school. I had shown up after the beginning of the school year, and as a result, I was left with the bottom of the barrel classes that still had open seats. I somehow ended up in Biology, even though I had taken it as a sophomore in Phoenix, but I figured it would end up being an easy A, so I didn't complain.

The first day, I was sitting at the only empty Biology table, and thanking my lucky stars that I wouldn't be forced into an awkward situation where I would feel obligated to talk to the stranger I would be sharing a table with. The second day my lucky stars lost their shine. I arrived to class just before the late bell rang, and immediately saw an unruly shock of bronzeish brown hair, and thick-framed glasses, peeking out from a pair of long folded arms on top of the table. I slowed my approach, enough to assess the stranger at my table. When he noticed I was headed in his direction, he quickly sat up and inched his chair back from mine, giving me a wide berth. I slid carefully into my seat, while peering at him through my heavy mahogany hair.

He had the messiest, but most gorgeous, shiny hair I had ever seen. He was dressed in the typical Pacific Northwest teen style: thermal, with a plaid flannel over it, jeans, and black gumboots. The most enticing part of him though, was the amazing glint of emerald green I got when he turned just enough for me to see his eyes through the thick glasses. His eyes remained on his paper for the duration of class, but just before we pack our bags to go, he turned to me.

"Um…I'm Edward…Edward Cullen. I figured you should know my name if we're going to be working together. So…hi," he said, as he hurriedly shoved his thick notebook into his Jansport. He was about to brush past me when I placed a hand on his arm to stop him. He turned back to me, and I extended my hand to him.

"Nice to meet you, Edward. I'm Bella. I guess we'll be partners," I said, as he gingerly took my hand and shook it. I almost gasped out loud when I felt an almost electric shock in my fingers as our hands met. He looked like he had felt it too, but he didn't openly acknowledge it. Instead, he smiled crookedly, grabbed his bag, and rushed out the door.

It took weeks before I was able to successfully start drawing Edward out of his shell. We would spend our lab time chatting quietly, while the rest of the class was working on whatever the assignment was, since Edward and I had always long since finished. He was a quiet and patient listener, and he asked minimal questions, instead allowing me to share the information I wanted. He gave sound advice, and was never judgmental. I often found myself telling him things I had never shared with anyone. The only exception to his seemingly infinite patience was when I would bring up anything having to do with Mike Newton. The disdain that Edward held for Mike was plain as day. The mere mention of Mike's name caused Edward's whole posture to change. I suspected I knew why, but it was a subject better left unexplored for the moment.

Mike had begun his pursuit of me the instant we met. His intentions were obviously clear, and he made a point to be ever-present. With the exception of Biology class, I hardly had a moment at school when Mike wasn't right beside me. He insisted on walking me to and from every class. He wanted to carry my books and buy me lunch. He gave me rides home on the days my truck wouldn't start. Outwardly, I was sure we gave off the appearance of being involved, but there weren't serious feelings behind it on my end. Mike was a nice enough guy, but he had no depth. No substance. It was ridiculous, and empty, but I still went along with it, out of fear, and my own insecurity. I was afraid that if I brushed off Mike, I might be presented with the opportunity to pursue someone I had real feelings for, and the chance that those feelings might be unrequited was enough to stop me. So I endured the hollow relationship I had with Mike, and I didn't stop him the first time he kissed me. My lack of resistance the first time, opened the door to his affections, and before I knew it, I was dating Mike Newton. I was bored to tears. I couldn't wait to get out of Forks, and as far away as geographically possible. The only anchor that could hold me here, still had a hard time looking me in the eyes.

As the school year wore on, Edward and I spent more time together, and grew closer in our friendship, but I never crossed the invisible boundary that would take us from friendship territory to more. He was sensitive, and caring, and he seemed to be generally concerned with my happiness and well-being. He acted content to be my friend, although I did catch him staring at me on occasion, but he never gave any indication that he saw me as anything more. However, I was nurturing a tiny flame of potential for something more, and even though I was waiting for the right time to broach the subject, it was looking like the moment may never arrive.

* * *

"So what happened? Did you tell him how you felt? God Bella. Dating a douchebag like that Mike guy for lack of better prospects is so you. Thank God you are no longer quite that self-sacrificing. If it were me, I would have jumped on that Edward guys peen in the middle of class. I wouldn't have given two shits who was looking. Nerds are hot!" Alice exclaimed, while animatedly jumping up and down on the cushioned dressing room bench.

"Okay…to answer your question, no. I never did tell him how I felt, hence, the unresolved issues, and my lingering desire to see him. God, I was so pent up by senior year, I thought I was going to lose my shit! Damn, there was this party towards the end of senior year that I almost got the guts to tell him. Then there was graduation…that was a fiasco…my lord…" I began.

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Senior year went by in a blur of college applications, SAT studying, and exams. I was determined to get out of Forks, and I was applying to only east coast schools. Mike, and his friends spent the weekends getting shitfaced and partying. I spent mine with my nose in a book, and occasionally Edward would come over and we would study together. Thanks to Edward, we both were graduating at the top of our class, and because of his assistance with my application essay; I had been accepted to the University of Florida.

Graduation day was my self-imposed deadline to admit my feelings to Edward. Once the ceremony had commenced, and the "Pomp and Circumstance" faded away, I would be leaving for Florida. I refused to leave for college without first telling Edward how I felt about him. The hardest part was trying to accurately relate how I truly felt, when I had such a hard time even explaining it to myself.

I was on edge through the whole graduation ceremony, and I nearly tripped over my own feet when I crossed the stage to receive my diploma. I waved and smiled to my parents in the crowd, but inside I was steeling myself for what I needed to do afterward.

I went with the flow of bodies, which were trickling into the parking lot to meet with their families. I had my eyes peeled for a certain head of bronze hair, and I was disappointed when I felt a hand grab me from behind. I was sure it was Mike, but thankfully, it was Charlie.

"Bella, I'm so proud of you! I love you sweetie, you did great!" Charlie gushed, with a big goofy grin on his face. From the corner of my eye, I finally spotted the bronze hair I was looking for. He approached cautiously, obviously not wanting to interrupt us. He addressed Charlie first.

"Chief Swan. Nice to see you", Edward said, shaking Charlie's hand firmly, and then turning to me. "Bella, can we walk a minute?" He asked me, while fidgeting and shuffling his feet on the gravelly ground. I assured Charlie I would meet him later for dinner, and I followed Edward as he walked towards the bleachers.

"So are you excited about Dartmouth?" I asked him, not really looking him in the eyes; for fear that he would see the longing in them. While I waited for an answer, I took a long look to appreciate how amazing his hair looked in the sun, and I tried to catch a glimpse of the emeralds under his glasses.

"Sure, it's pretty much been my dream since I was a little kid." He replied stiffly.

We sat down on the lowest bench of the bleachers, our knees almost touching. I was gathering my thoughts, and trying to decide how best to begin my declaration. I twirled and twisted my tassel in my fingers, searching for the words to tell him how much he meant to me. I was drawing a blank, and before I could stop myself, I dropped my cap and launched myself at him. I grabbed him around the neck and held him tightly to me, breathing in his warm woodsy smell. We hadn't ever been the type of friends who had a lot of physical contact, so when he stiffened in my arms, I assumed he must have been uncomfortable, and I loosened my grip and sat back across from him. He was white as a sheet, and looked scared to death.

_Oh god…I'm so stupid…shitshitshit…he doesn't feel the same…I was about to make a complete ass of myself…cover your tracks…make him think it was a friendly goodbye hug…_

"Edward," I said quietly, "you have always been such a good friend to me. I just wanted to thank you for being so nice to me when I first came here. I know you are going to be really busy next year, but I hope we can keep in touch. I'm going to miss you." His face relaxed a little, so I figured I must be on the right track.

_There…crisis averted…he heard the friend word…all is well…no big deal…_

"Yeah, I want to keep in touch too," he responded softly, while shifting his weight as if he was uncomfortable. "Are you and Mike going to be back for Thanksgiving?"

"No. Since the University of Florida is only about an hour and a half from Renee I'll go see her," I answered, not feeling it was necessary to tell him that I planned to leave Mike's backwoods ass in Forks where I found him. That relationship was thankfully over, even if Mike hadn't heard yet.

Angela Weber walked by, and I snagged her before she was gone, and asked her to take a picture of Edward and me. I had no concrete mementos or photos of the time I had spent with him, and I wanted something I could take with me to Florida, as a reminder. Angela snapped the picture, and Edward rose to leave. As he walked away, I felt a little tug on my heartstrings, as I realized this might be the last time I ever saw him.

The day before I left for Florida, I took my film to the drug store in town, and had the pictures developed. I ordered doubles, and once they were ready, I immediately took one copy of the picture of us together and wrote "Edward and Bella, Graduation 1999" on the back with a sharpie. I stuffed the picture in a plain envelope, wrote Edwards name on the front, and drove to his house to leave it on the porch for him. I didn't know what Edward's true feelings for me were, but I knew I would never forget him. I just wanted to make sure he wouldn't forget me either.

* * *

"Bella?" Alice asked, as I was changing back into my clothes, and trying to maneuver the bras back onto their hangers. I looked over at her and she had the oddest look on her face.

"What?" I replied, curious as to what the look was about.

"Get the red ones, wear the black dress, and go knock his fucking socks off!"

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**AN - This chapter is brought to you by Jennifer Lopez - _Waiting for Tonight _**

**_Please review...Edward MIGHT send you a TEASER if you do ;)  
_**


	3. Genie In A Bottle

**Not ours, but that Fat bald fucker is!**

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**Chapter 3 – Genie In A Bottle**

**Forks High School Class of 1999**

**(EPOV)**

"_If you wanna be with me, baby  
There's a price you pay  
I'm a genie in a bottle  
You gotta rub me the right way  
If you wanna be with me  
I can make your wish come true  
You gotta make a big impression  
I gotta like what you do…"_

"God," I groaned. "Really, isn't it a little early for them to have already started in with this shit?"

The DJ had set up in the corner of the school gym, and was bringing us the "_Hits of 99_". I already thought I might poke my eyes out. Or my ears. Or both.

This evening has already been a lesson in patience.

First, at the sign in table, Jessica Stanley pretty much molested me while insisting she put my name tag on for me. She had leaned over the table to point to where I needed to sign in, and her frizzy blond hair fell into her face as she vulgarly attempted to show off her horrible boob job. Then, as she brought my name tag to my chest, she tried to do a seductive shimmy, and leaned in far more then what anyone would consider appropriate, to place the vinyl sticker on my chest.

All I could smell was hairspray and bubble gum and I wanted to puke. I guess she took my speechlessness as a good sign, so she leaned in and not-so-subtly whispered, "Two of my kids are staying with their daddies tonight. So, if you're bored later, _come find me_."

_Kill. Me. Now. I am in a gym full of people I hated in high school, listening to music I detested in high school, and the only person I wanted to see wasn't even here. Great. _

"What the _fuck_ is _that_?" Jasper asks while grabbing my face and turning it to the dance floor.

At first my eyes didn't focus. But then...then I saw it. There was a balding guy on the dance floor with one of those 10-months-pregnant bellies that you just _know_ if full of beer. All I could see was the back of him or a glimpse of his profile, while he pretended to rub his body like a bottle and did some kind of "_I Dream of Genie_" move with his arms in front of him.

Jasper stared as if he had just seen Jesus descend from heaven, and slowly our dancing queen did a half-turn so we could see his face.

_MIKE-FUCKING-FAT-BALDING-NEWTON. _

He saw me, and waved, then clomped over wiping his sweaty puffy face, and huffing to get his breath under control.

"Cullen!" He wheezed, slapping my back with his pudgy hand "Look at you! Mr. C.E.O. now, huh?"

"Yep," I mumbled, because it took everything in my power not to laugh right in his dumb sweaty face. "What are you up to lately Mike?"

"Well, I've been helping Dad with the sporting goods store. I get to train all of the new cashiers, _if you know what I mean_…" he said, as he waggled his eyebrows like a ridiculous cartoon character.

Before I could tell him what a complete asshole he was, Tyler Crowley waved him back to the dance floor for another round of fat-guy-in-a-little-coat.

I was starting to get pretty fucking pissed. I left Chicago for three full days to come out for the reunion, and I _never_ took time off from work.

I walked over to the bar, and got a jack and coke while I watched Jasper do his subtle 'Which ladies don't have a ring on?' evaluation.

I was on my second drink when Jasper grabbed my shirt and spun me around towards the front door.

"Have you been holding out on me cock sock?" he whispered, while he pointed to the door. "Who is that goddess by the door?"

I looked over at the entrance, and saw a petite black haired girl dancing through the door, her hips swaying to Ricky Martin's "_Living La Vida Loca_".

"I have no clue. She didn't go to school with me. Maybe she's somebody's wi--"

Before I could get the words out of my mouth, Bella walked up next to the little pixie and handed her a glass of wine.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck! She's here_! I started to panic.

_Man up you pussy. You _wanted_ her to be here_, _and here she is,_ I told myself.

Jasper, always being able to feel out a situation, grabbed me by my jacket and hauled me into the bathroom.

"Look dipshit, Isabella Swan is right out those doors. She has haunted your God damned wet dreams for 10 years. Tonight you're going to be the suave motherfucker I know you are, and sleep with her, and see you just built all this shit up in your head." Jasper seethed at me while grabbing on tightly to the lapels of my jacket.

_He's right_, _she isn't perfect_. _She is just this idea you have in your head of her. Go over there and knock her down a few pegs. Down….going down…..Bella going down on me. Stop it! You have to be on your game. You can't go over there half-cocked when you talk to her._

Jasper and I headed out of the bathroom, and I stopped far enough away so I could look at Bella before I went to talk to her. I needed to take her in before I could speak.

She was standing up against the wall, looking like a vision straight from my most seductive fantasies. She looked like a Hollywood Starlet from the 50's, with her mahogany hair floating in soft waves around her face, pale creamy luminescent skin, and lips the most enticing shade of red.

She had on the sexiest dress I had ever seen. It came up to her neck and hit just below her knees, with little red pleats peaking out at the bottom of the hem, drawing attention to the most magnificently sculpted legs I had ever seen. It wasn't tight, but hugged her curves, and oozed sex appeal in a way that made my mind start to get a little fuzzy. The dress was black with little red buttons, a little accent of red around the collar, and red accent under her bust, that made her chest look like the perfect place to lay my head while I worshiped her. I took my time getting one last look from the bottom to the top.

I wanted to rip that dress right off of her and find out what splendor was hidden underneath, but if I ripped the dress off, I would never be able to see the sight of her in it again.

_What to do… what to do… I'm ready. This is it_…The theme from Rocky started playing in my head… _I'm going in._

I walked over to her slowly. I didn't want to seem too anxious, but she saw me coming and her whole face lit up.

_Fuck it, I have been doing this slowly for 10 years!_

I picked up the pace, and made my way over to her and her friend, Jasper close on my tail.

"Edward, I'm so glad you're here," she said, as she put her hand on my forearm and squeezed sending sparks of pleasure across my skin.

_Well, this is new…Okay, I can do physical contact... _

"Bella you remember my older brother Jasper?" I motioned to Jasper, who had already gotten very close to Bella's friend.

"Of course, and this is my best friend and business partner, Alice."

"Ahhh…So she has a name, Alice, that's a beautiful name. We can name our first born AJ, for Alice and Jasper," Jasper purred to Alice, laying the charm on thick, as he kissed her hand.

I was smirking, waiting for the usual slap or "_oh please_", but she giggled. She actually giggled. Bella looked as dumbfounded as I did.

"Your glass looks almost empty. Why don't we make our way to the bar so we can freshen it up," Jasper said, while leading her with his hand.

"Okay", she breathed, and allowed him to take her away, never taking her eyes off his.

"What the hell was that?" Bella asked, before I could turn around.

"Um… Jasper being Jasper?" I replied sheepishly.

"No, not him, _her_! Normally, she would have already thrown a drink on him and walked away, but she just stood there like she'd been lobotomized." Bella mused, while watching the couple make their way to the bar.

I was close enough to smell her.

_Still all gardenias and honey. _

"Bella, look at you!"

I heard a voice like silk, and knew without turning around that it was Rosalie. Before Bella could speak, Rose had already closed the gap between them and grabbed her in a tight hug. Rose was one of those Amazon women; tall, blonde, beautiful, and goddess like. She just never did it for me. I had always had a thing for brunettes.

I heard someone clear their throat behind me, and I turned to see a beast of a guy. He looked easily 6'3, and that wasn't even the most impressive part. He had one of those bodies that made Popeye's arms look like puny girl arms. He would have scared the shit out of me, if it wasn't for the way he ducked his head down at the floor, looking a little embarrassed.

"Umm…Rose, did you forget we talked about this? You're supposed to remember to introduce me to your friends tonight," the giant said in the sweetest way possible, almost like he was scared of her.

"Oh stop being such a fucking baby. I was just saying hello to a friend," Rose barked. "Edward, Bella, this is my husband Emmett McCarty," she said almost sweetly, before looking at him and sneering.

"You'll have to excuse Rose. She's always a bitch during her first trimester of pregnancy," Emmett said softly, almost endearingly.

Bella and I watched as the two of them put their hands on her belly.

Bella, always possessing better social graces, asked, "Is this your first child?"

"Hell no, this will be our fourth!" boomed Emmett with the most pride I had ever heard.

"Okay guys, it was really nice to see you, but I have to pee every ten minutes, my feet are swollen, and I have a strange desire to go over in that coat closet and take a nap. So, Emmett and I are taking off. Bella, why don't you call me tomorrow we can have lunch and catch up?" With that, Emmett guided Rose through the dance floor, looking like he might kill any poor son of a bitch that bumps into her.

I turned back to Bella. "Wow. Four kids, that's crazy!" I said, giving her back my full attention.

"Yeah…what about you? Any kids? Marriage? Any of that?"

"No… I've been so busy with work I've only gotten close with one woman. I called off the engagement after a month. It just never felt right." I answered truthfully. "You?" I asked, almost holding my breath, willing her to say no.

"Oh, God, no! Alice and I have been so wrapped up in this clothing line for the past couple of years, I don't even know what a date is," she joked.

"I had heard you started a clothing line a few years back. I assume it's doing well?"

"Yes, really well, actually," she said, gesturing to her dress. "This is actually from our fall line."

_Thank God! I can rip the dress right off of her, and she can just go and make another one!_

By that point, I was done with all of the small talk, and I knew it was time to get the ball rolling.

The song changed to "_Kiss Me_" by Sixpence None the Richer, and she started to laugh.

"Remember when they played this song five times in a row at prom?" she asked, while clearly thinking back to that night.

"Umm, no actually, I don't remember. I didn't go to prom." I reminded her.

"Oh that's right, I forgot," she mumbled, as a familiar bright blush formed on her cheeks.

_This is it, time for the suave motherfucker. _

"Well, it only seems fair that I get to dance to this song at least one time in this gym, if everyone else from the class of '99 danced to it five times," I said, as I extended my hand to her.

She didn't even hesitate. She took my hand, and we moved out onto the floor. I held her tiny hand in mine, and pressed my other hand into the small of her back willing her closer to me.

She looked up at me with her lips turned down into a small frown and asked, "Where are your glasses?"

I found myself so caught off guard by the question; I couldn't help but laugh a little. "I wear contacts now." I answered, smirking at her for thinking I would wear my glasses out if I didn't have to.

We kept dancing, and slowly my ten years of waiting started to transform me into nothing more than a horny teenager, who couldn't control his hard-on next to a pretty girl. The song changed, and Sarah McLachlan's "_Angel_" started to play.

_Bless you annoying "Hits of '99" DJ!_

I pulled her in closer to me, not caring if she was able to feel my excitement for her. Her breath hitched slightly, alerting me to the fact that she had felt me pressed against her.

_It's now or never. _

I gathered her hair off of one shoulder, and grazed my nose across her neck, just under her jaw. I placed a single chaste kiss right behind her ear. A shiver went through her, and I knew things were going exactly the way I wanted them to. I slowly moved my lips up to her ear as I exhaled and asked, "Would you like to stay, or could I escort you home this evening?"

She looked up at me like she had no clue where she was, and just nodded her head. I leisurely trailed my hand down her bare arm before I clasped her hand and pulled her off the dance floor, and towards the door.

I felt my body pitch back slightly, as she stopped dead in her tracks.

_Fuck! She's changed her mind. I'm going to have to go home and fist fuck with Bella Swan yet again only in fantasy._

I turned to see her searching around the gym.

"Alice, I can't just leave her here. She doesn't know anybody and doesn't have a way to get home."

I looked around and hit pay dirt. In the corner, Alice and Jasper were making out like a couple of fifteen year olds. I pointed over in their direction using the hand that was still holding hers.

"I think she will be just fine," I whispered in her ear, as she let out a small sigh.

We moved through the crowd so rapidly I couldn't even make out the faces of our forgotten classmates. I quickly had her at the passenger side of my car, and I yanked at the handle as if I could break it off. I didn't care, I couldn't control it anymore. I needed her with every fiber of my being.

"FUCK!" I almost shouted, as I slammed the car into reverse, catching Bella off guard. "I didn't get a hotel room. I decided to stay with my parents. I'm sure that both the hotels in Forks are probably booked because of the reunion."

"That's okay; Charlie is over at Sue's tonight. So, until Alice gets there, we have the whole place to ourselves." She stated.

She might as well have said '_Edward I want you to fuck me all night long and then please allow me to give you the best blow job of your life._', because that was all I heard when she said '_all to ourselves_.'

I kept her hand in mine the entire ride to her house, and we made it there in mere minutes. She always used to yell at me for driving too fast, but tonight she never complained once. She didn't even wait for me to make it to her side of the car before she was out. Normally, I insisted on being a gentleman, but it was fucking hot to know she was just as ready for this as I was.

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**AN - This chapter inspired by Mike-Fucking-Fat-Balding-Newton and brought to you courtesy of Christian Aguilera - Genie In A Bottle**

**Dance and review....reviews are almost better than Edward rubbing you the right way!**

**Note: Edited cuz I found some mistakes and I'm too anal retentive to let it go!  
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	4. Give It To You

**Stephanie owns it, but we give it lemons!**

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**Chapter 4 - Give It To You**

**(EPOV)**

Walking into Bella's house took me back to a time when I yearned for the heat casual touches brought me, as we studied together at her dining room table.

_Who the fuck are you kidding? Casual touches….You dreamed about fucking her daily if not more._

"Can I get you something to drink Edward?" Bella asked, and I smiled. The memory of her asking me that very same question ten years ago flitted through my mind.

Everything looked the same as the last day I studied here for our AP Bio exam, just the two of us. It was almost always just the two of us. Charlie was often called down to the station. That was the day I decided I had had enough of pretending to be just her friend. I had to tell her how I felt.

* * *

We were at the kitchen table like usual, one of us on each side with our books and notes spread out between us. And just like every other time we studied, heat would flood my body as our hands touched when we reached for the same notes or books or our feet would meet under the table. It had gotten to the point where I would spend the whole night fantasizing about bending her over or laying her out on the table in various positions until we called it a night. This always led to me going home to stroke it until I could regain my focus and go back over what I should have been studying at Bella's house. But today was different. Today I would try something I had never done before.

_Just do it_, I told myself. _Will she react? If I watch her close enough, maybe I can tell if she likes it_.

So I did it.

I was already quite tall, a gangly 6'2". As I quizzed her, I stretched my long legs out under the table carefully trapping her right leg in between my own.

"What features of meiosis are important in sexual reproduction?" I asked while I looked into her eyes and "accidentally" rubbed my knee between her own.

She slowly closed her eyes and slightly turned her head to the side and back as she answered me. "Meiosis is essential for sexual reproduction and therefore occurs in all eukaryotes, including single-celled organisms that reproduce sexually. It facilitates stable sexual reproduction. In humans, the process of meiosis in females occurs during oogenesis, and differs from the typical meiosis in that it features a long period of meiotic arrest known as the Dictyate stage, and lacks the assistance of centrosomes. In males, meiosis occurs in precursor cells known as spermatogonia that divide twice to become sperm. These cells continuously divide without arrest in the seminiferous tubules of the testicles. Sperm is produced at a steady pace. The process of meiosis in males occurs during spermatogenesis."

_Oh God, did she say sperm? Did she say testicles? When did "seminiferous" become erotic? At this point, anything coming out of her mouth would be erotic. _I could feel my pants get tighter as I silently spewed forth my mental vomit. _I'm completely fucked! She could talk about Mike–Fucking-Newton and I think I might find it erotic. Shit! _

It was then that I realized I had picked the most inopportune question to figure out if she felt anything for me. My dick had never been harder than at that moment. I was so consumed with my own desire; I forgot to see if this position had the same affect on her as it had on me. I quickly gave her affirmation that she had answered correctly, and then looked down to shuffle my notes.

"I'm really thirsty, do you want something to drink?" she asked, as I heard her chair scrape back against the floor.

"Sure," was all I could strangle out of my suddenly dry mouth.

As she brought me a glass of water, in true Bella fashion, she tripped over the smooth linoleum and poured the whole glass of ice water into my lap.

"Shit! I'm so sorry Edward. Let me get a towel," she stammered as she reached for a cloth on the nearest counter top.

_Fuck! If it wasn't noticeable before, there was no way she wasn't going to notice my huge fucking hard-on now. You'd think the water would have calmed me down, but no…_

I made it worse as I let my thoughts wander to what I'd like her to do when she noticed how turned on I'd become.

Either it was the most embarrassing moment of my life or my greatest fantasy come true when she rushed back and proceeded to blot the excess water from the front of my pants, all the while whispering how sorry she was for being such a klutz. It felt so good I was practically in pain.

_She had to have noticed_, I thought. _There was no way she couldn't have noticed. It was like a giant billboard screaming I WANT TO FUCK YOU! NOW!_

No matter how hard I tried to think of something else all I could imagine was how fucktastic it would feel to have her bare hands touch me for the first time. I couldn't look at her. She started blotting slower and gave one last final stroke with the towel. I almost came right there.

_Whoa – did she just do that on purpose? Did she just stroke my fucking cock? _

I finally looked up at her but she'd already turned around to put the towel away. I couldn't see her face, so I had no idea what she was thinking. _Did that really just happen? Or am I so turned on that I can't distinguish between reality and fantasy….I need to get out of here…soon._

When she finally turned around and walked back to the table, she had a small smile gracing her pouty lips.

"Let's finish these last few questions and then I'll let you go so you can change out of your wet pants…" she trailed off.

* * *

"What are you thinking?" she asked, as she turned around to grab a couple of glasses and a bottle of whiskey out of a cupboard.

"I was just remembering the last time you asked me that question," I said as I quietly came up behind her.

"God I've always been such a klutz," she murmured.

This had been the location of a number of my teenage fantasies. The time was now. I was done hesitating. Do it…Rico Suave…only better.

I reached out and ran my fingers softly down her sides as she filled the glasses. I wrapped one hand around her flat stomach, and then ran my other hand down her arm and gently took her hand from the bottle. I wrapped my arms around her, and gently moved her glorious hair over one shoulder to allow me access to her ear and graceful neck.

"Isabella," I whispered huskily next to her ear. "I've wanted to touch you like this for as long as I've known you. Don't make me wait any longer."

She leaned back into me, tilted her head to the side in invitation, her breath quiet and uneven. I grazed my nose along her jaw as I exhaled slow and hot over her skin before claiming her perfect lips with my own, the same lips that had teased me for so many fucking years.

She tasted sweeter than I could have ever imagined. I let my hands start to ghost over her body. Every little moan and sigh that left her mouth just made my cock that much harder.

Our kiss, although it started out gentle, quickly turned greedy and hard and fucking fantastic. I licked her bottom lip begging entrance, and our tongues danced and licked as I turned her to face me. She bit my bottom lip, and I thought my dick was going to explode right there causing me to stifle a whimper.

I wrapped my hand around the back of her neck, and before I knew what was happening she had her fist knotted into my hair. I used my free hand to grab one of her perfect breasts more firmly, causing her to moan into my mouth.

I was done waiting. I needed to feel every inch of her. I ran my hand all the way down to right below her knee and slowly moved my hand up under the hem of her dress.

_Fuck. _

Her legs were smooth, warm, perfect, and better than I had ever dreamed. I drew her dress up as I made my way up to her hip and felt the softness of lace. I pulled her thigh up, and wrapped it around mine, while I moved my other hand to her ass and squeezed her tightly, as I pressed her harder into my arousal.

"Oh…Fuck…" Bella moaned aloud.

I snapped.

I am not sure how I found the zipper to her dress but I must have unzipped it because it was lying in a pile at her feet. I looked up from the crumpled dress on the floor and saw the sexiest sight I had ever seen in my entire life. Bella was standing before me in nothing more than a red lace bra and panties, her chest heaving from excitement.

"Perfect," was the only word that escaped from my lips, before I picked her up and carried her over to the table. It was the very same table we'd done our biology homework on all those years ago, and now I had her underneath me kissing her just as I'd always dreamed about.

"Edward," she whispered softly. My eyes were locked on her beautiful, full lips. Looking up at me from under her lashes, Bella licked her lips and arched her back begging for more.

That was all the invitation I needed.

I moved down her neck placing soft kisses and bites on every bit of skin my mouth touched. As I moved over the lace of her bra, she started pulling at my shirt. Her breathing was shaky and I could tell she wanted it as much as I did. I looked up at her flushed face and gave her a crooked, knowing smile.

"Please," she half moaned, "I want to feel your skin against mine."

I quickly loosened my tie, and just as I finished unbuttoning my shirt, she grabbed my collar and pulled it off of me. She yanked at my undershirt so quickly she untucked it from my pants in one swift motion. I helped her get the white material over my head and then she tossed it aside with the rest of our discarded clothing. My skin burned as she trailed her hands back down over my shoulders and arms. She traced little circles on my chest, as her other hand moved down to my belt. Women, well many women really, had touched me but nothing had ever felt like this.

I was so hard. Slowly, she released me from the confines of my boxers, and I helped her push my pants down and over my feet. Bella lightly palmed the head of my dick and I groaned with pleasure. I knew that between my reaction to her touch and all the years of wanting I would have to make her cum first. I didn't exactly want her to think I was a Two-Pump-Pete.

I leaned her back onto the table pressing the full length of my arousal against the heat radiating through her panties. I kissed and licked my way back up to pull her full pouty bottom lip into my mouth as my hands moved up and down her sides caressing the outer sides of her breasts. My mouth moved to her neck and I used my nose to trace up to her ear and suck on her lobe gently.

"Bella I need to taste you," I whispered in a husky voice, and she arched her back into me and moaned my name.

I could feel how wet she was through the thin lace of her panties as I slowly made my way down her body, unclasping and removing her bra along the way. Her breasts were perfect. Her nipples pebbled in excitement. There was no holding back. I took one of her pink-tipped peaks into my mouth sucking and flicking it lightly with my tongue as I drew my hand down between her legs placing my palm flat against her. I couldn't believe how hot and wet she felt. I heard her breathing hitch, and she pressed her hips up towards my hand.

"You are so wet for me Bella," I whispered as I watched her writhe at my touch.

I parted her knees wider and moved down between her legs placing them over my shoulders. As I leaned down into her I traced my nose softly in circles above her clit and I exhaled, my heated breath increasing her sensitivity. Her hips shifted allowing me to slide my hands under her soft ass to gently rip off her underwear all while keeping my hot breath centered on her clit.

Her scent hit me so hard I could barely keep myself from jumping on top of her and burying my cock deep inside of her. _No, this is about her first, take your time asshole! _

I took my fingers and gently spread her wet swollen lips, so I could lick her from bottom to top and swirl my tongue around her clit in circles. She moaned and fisted her hands into my hair pushing me deeper into her. I kept my tongue working on her clit while I moved one finger into her slowly pumping in and out. I added another finger and started moving faster, curling my fingers in to hit the spot I knew would bring her release.

It was like I had hit her buzzer. I felt her tighten around my fingers, and I continued licking her, not wanting to waste a single taste of my Bella. My cock throbbed as I watched her ride out her orgasm. She was even more beautiful if that was possible. I stood and placed myself at her entrance, rubbing my cock up and down between her wet folds. I grabbed her legs and wrapped them around my waist, looked directly into her eyes half lidded with lust, and ever so slowly pushed myself into her tight, hot sheath.

_FUCK! She's so hot, tight, and wet. Keep it together Gerardo! _

I slowly started rocking in and out of her, knowing I would need to go slow to prolong this every second that I could.

"Please Edward, MORE!"

All self-control was lost as Bella pleaded in the sexiest voice I had ever heard. She gripped the edge of the table cursing softly under her breath as I repeatedly thrust myself all the way into her, hard and fast. A groan escaped from the back of my throat as I moved in and out of her, enjoying every second of pure sensual bliss.

I sped up my thrusting as I felt Bella's walls start to tighten around my cock, wanting to cum with her. "Fuck! Bella, you're so hot and tight. Cum for me!"

She exploded around my cock as she breathed my name. Two more thrusts and I joined her over the edge.

"Oh God! Bella, my beautiful Bella, uhhnn!" Our bodies stiffened in unison, then melted together and we slowly came down from the high holding on to one another while our breathing reluctantly became normal.

I slowly helped Bella off of the table relishing in the delight of just touching her bare skin and couldn't resist caressing her sex-softened lips once more with my own before releasing her. She walked over by the sink where my dress shirt had landed and pulled it on only buttoning up enough buttons to keep it closed. _Fuck me, she's wearing my shirt with NOTHING underneath!_ _Is this just in a woman's DNA to do the seemingly most innocent thing after sex that drives every man crazy?_ I was quickly getting ready for round two as I watched her hips sway softly walking towards the living room, my shirt grazing her thighs in the most delicious way.

I knew Bella must be tired and I didn't want her think I was a total douche bag so I quickly grabbed my pants and threw them on to cover the hard-on which was making itself quite obvious. In three quick steps I was over to Bella where she was standing by the couch I grabbed her hand pulling her down with me as we collapsed into a satisfied heap. I leaned over and gently kissed her forehead, nose, and lips, as she looked at me with a most peculiar expression.

"Edward, next time I see you, you better have your glasses on," she huffed and then pulled me down to cuddle into my chest.

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**AN - This Porntastic Lemon was sexed up for you by Jordan Knight - _Give It To You_**

**Interested parties can check out the all new fantabulous links on our author page. We've got links to their sexy reunion togs and a nice little video I found on you tube showing a fat bald-fucker doing a little genie action...enjoy!**

**For those disappointed in the lack of BPOV - we have some coming up in Chapter 6. Good things come to those who review wait…patiently!**


	5. There She Goes

**Stephenie is the master, we're just a bunch of poseurs...**

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Chapter 5 – There She Goes**

**(EPOV)**

I awoke sometime later with a feeling of unease, like we weren't alone. Without moving, I looked around and listened to our surroundings.

_Nothing,_ I sighed, as I held Bella in my arms just as I had envisioned all those years ago. Jason Bourne I was not, more like Austin Millbarge, but I still felt as if something was off. We needed a plan and playing dead wasn't going to cut it if Charlie came home to find Bella and I half-naked snuggling on his couch.

Bella was still sleeping soundly on my chest, her mouth slightly open and fists clutching my shirt tightly. The couch was not the best place for us to stay for the rest of the night, so I gently removed myself from her grasp and carried her up to her room. Bella had said Charlie was at Sue Clearwater's, but I didn't want to wake up to find that Chief Swan had caught me shagging his daughter. We may be adults, but there was still something terrifying about the Chief of Police finding me in a state of dishevelment, let alone with his _daughter,_ looking like she'd just been thoroughly fucked.

Charlie was a nice guy. I had always had a good relationship with him. I'd never gotten into trouble, and had never gotten his daughter into trouble either. I was a very non-threatening dork. I kept my hands to myself, and he'd never had to speak to me.

That's why when I saw him sitting at the kitchen table after tucking Bella into her bed, I lost my footing and took the last few steps flat on my ass._ Fuck! Fuckity, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck! _I finally hook up with the woman of my dreams, and end up encountering the last person a man wants to see after knocking boots, Dear Old Dad._ This would only happen to me. _When I hit the bottom, I fought to control my surprise and, not so gracefully, regained a casual stance.

"Edward," he said sternly, holding up a very familiar pair of ripped red lace panties. "I think it's time we had the talk I should have given you 12 years ago."

"Yes Sir," I gulped nervously and ran my hands over my hastily dressed body trying to make some semblance of order before realizing it was a wasted effort, as I was standing there in nothing but my pants, then quickly took the seat he'd indicted across from him.

_Shit. Shit. Shit! He's going to kill me_, my mind screamed. I felt like that self-conscious seventeen year old geek again. _Get a grip Cullen, you're a fucking twenty-eight year old man for Christ's sake. Besides, he can't kill you. Maybe throw you in jail…_

"Were you going somewhere son? I seriously hope that you weren't just about to give my Bells the slip," he asked quietly.

"It's not what it looks like Sir," I stammered, in a pathetic attempt to smooth over the extremely uncomfortable situation in which I thought I was too old to find myself.

"Try again," he smirked, and gently waggled the pair of panties.

Another gulp, "No Sir," I sighed. "I would never disrespect Bella in that way. I was only coming down to gather our things…" I trailed off as my face turned red, and I moved my gaze to the floor.

I shifted nervously, only looking up when the silence became unbearable.

"I'm the Chief of Police for a reason son. I might be a man of few words, but that doesn't mean I'm oblivious. From the first time you graced my kitchen table with your school books, I knew you were in love with my daughter. I could also see she shared those same feelings. At the time I assumed it would never go further than your weekly study sessions at my kitchen table…" he paused before once again waggling those fucking panties before my eyes. "Now I can see that it probably should have been a concern."

I felt heat flood my face again. _He's fucking enjoying this!_

"But, between her hiding behind that Shit-for-Brains Newton, and your insecurities, I knew that you two were too chicken-shit to ever do anything about it. That's why I've never felt the need to say anything…until now," he grimaced slightly as he spoke.

I gulped again, but held his stare like the man I was supposed to be, as he continued to make me feel like the insecure child I had been all those years ago. _Should I say something? What do I say? Fuck!_

"With you living in Chicago, and Bells in Florida, I don't really feel I need to ask what your intentions are, but know that if you do decide to pursue my daughter you'll have one hell of an up-hill battle. If you stick with her you'll win in the end."

I nodded in acknowledgement; the only thing I could do under the circumstances. He had me scared completely shitless.

"And Edward," he continued, "I'm only going to say this once. Bells may be twenty-eight, but she's still my little girl to a certain point. You're both adults, what you do is between the two of you, but do not hurt my baby girl. Am I clear? Treat her with the respect and love she deserves, and you and I will continue to get along just fine."

"Yes sir," I squeaked out, while I nodded again.

"Now, I want you to go upstairs and make sure my daughter doesn't regret getting…" he paused, "…_reacquainted_ with you." His mouth twisted around the words with a slight grimace before he added, "Don't tell her I was here, it would only embarrass her."

As I attempted to race away from what I'm sure was the most embarrassing moment of my life, Charlie, the fucking bastard, called out stopping me mid-step.

"Oh, and Edward, if you ever succeed in getting into my daughter's pants again, make sure you don't leave any evidence…" he said as he tucked those damned panties into my hand. "A man should be able to eat at his table without visions of his little girl…" he mumbled as he turned and walked out the door.

I made my way upstairs, feeling like a complete fucktard.

_How the fuck did this happen? I knew something was off when I woke up. He wasn't even supposed to be here today! I wonder how long he'd been lurking about before I woke and took Bella upstairs. _

I quietly opened Bella's door and made my way over to her small bed. I'd never actually been in her room before tonight… I knew which room was hers, but we'd kept our study sessions confined to the kitchen. I had dreamed of being in here all those years ago, but this was so much better. After removing my pants, I gently climbed in next to her, cradling her body against mine. She had rolled to her side, with her head resting on one arm under the pillow, so I leaned up on one arm and watched as she was so peaceful and so much more beautiful than I remembered.

It was surreal. She was more than I could ever have dreamed. Her skin was softer than silk, her scent more appealing than any flower, and her taste – sweet, salty, and so utterly Bella…even her lingering flavor on my lips left me breathless and slightly aroused. Her hair was just as glorious as in my memories. I couldn't stop myself from taking a curl and rubbing it between my fingers while leaning further in to take in her scent.

_Mmmm_, _gardenias and honey_, _just like I remembered_.

As I watched her sleep-softened face, my thoughts wandered back to my conversation with Charlie. He'd said he knew I was in love with her back then. Was I so transparent in my adoration? He'd also said that he thought she shared my feelings. Could she really have felt the same way? If she had, why couldn't I see it?

I'd thought about it a million times over the years. Everything pointed to the fact that she just thought of me as just a friend…all except for that night she'd spilled the water in my lap. I could have sworn she lingered a little too long over my cock as she fumbled with the dish towel in a useless attempt to dry off my pants.

_If I had only known it would be this easy in High School. _

It was so effortless. I took her hand, we danced, and then with the smallest enticement I'd had her wrapped around my cock, fulfilling fantasies long buried since graduation.

Jasper had been right. I had needed to do this or I would never move on with my life. Only now, I had a lingering suspicion that I wouldn't be able to move on without her infiltrating my every thought. Having tasted her, I knew I would crave her more than ever. No woman had ever responded to me so completely. Just being near her brought me a feeling of contentment I hadn't even known I was missing, and now that I finally had her in my arms how could I ever fucking let go…?

And with that thought I nuzzled my nose into her silky tresses and drifted off into a contented slumber.

* * *

"_If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends  
Make it last forever, friendship never ends.._."

_What the fuck-a-doodle-doo! _I thought, as the saddest excuse for a song ever written interrupted what could have been the best morning of my life. I felt Bella squirm next to me, rubbing her tight little ass into my morning wood. I tried to shift away inconspicuously so she wouldn't notice that _El Capitán_ was once again ready, and up for round two, but she suddenly jumped out of bed, grabbed the phone and quietly shut the door as she left me lying there.

_Nooo! Not yet! Who fucking calls this early on a Saturday! _I thought, as I rolled to my back and rubbed my eyes with the palms of my hands. I had anticipated looking into Bella's eyes as we woke together this morning. I wanted to see if she regretted last night, or if she felt anything at all like I did, but the goddamned Spice Girls robbed me of my moment. _I have the worst fucking luck._

I knew it was too good to be true. Last night was some sort of Twilight Zone anomaly. I had the most fuck-awesome sex of my life with the girl of my dreams, and I'm her Shane MacGowan--a one night stand. _She regrets it, _s_he wouldn't have run out of here otherwise_. My heart deflated inside my chest.

_Oh Shit! Charlie's going to kill me! How the fuck am I going to smooth this one over?_

Entering panic mode, I lurched out of bed and tried to gather my things, realizing after a moment that I had left everything but my pants scattered downstairs in my haste to get away from Charlie. I tried to straighten out my hair in the mirror above her dresser, and then blanched at the thought of Charlie giving me "the talk" the previous night, while I had been bare-chested and sporting God-awful sex hair. I can't even imagine what was going through his mind when my state of undress and hair totally betrayed how I had violated his daughter in infinite porntastic ways. I'm lucky he didn't pistol whip me on the spot with his service revolver.

I tried to think of what to say as I nervously paced around the room, but everything I came up with sounded trite and made me seem more like the bumbling Nerdward I used to be… _Come on Cullen, get your shit straight! It can't be that bad…you're overreacting. You _know_ she felt the same connection last night, even Charlie said she liked you back in school. Just play it cool and it will all work out._ Begging whatever higher power for a snow's chance in hell, I crept down the stairs to speak with Bella hoping to make things less awkward.

"Hey," she said quietly. Her cheeks blossomed with a hint of red as she hung up her cell.

"Morning Bella," I replied, as I nervously smiled and looked into her eyes.

_By all that's holy! I ask for help and instead you tempt me with the sexiest thing I've ever seen! _I cursed the god currently torturing my existence. If possible she looked even more beautiful wearing my sleep wrinkled shirt this morning than she did last night after making her scream my name. _Does she even realize that's all she's wearing_? _Keep your eyes up perv, the last thing you need is to incite the Chief's ire by desecrating that fuck hot table with round two._

She smiled back apprehensively. "I'm sorry if I woke you. That was Alice. Apparently she and Jasper went back to your parent's place last night and she was calling to give us a heads up that Jazz would be dropping her off in a few minutes."

"Um, yeah…I guess I should get ready to go then too…" I said as I slipped on the rest of my clothing. _Coward!_

"So…"she said looking a little embarrassed. "Um…I got a text from Rose and she wants to meet at the diner at ten o'clock. She told me to bring you along…doyouwantto…um…gowithme?"

"You want me to go to breakfast?" I whispered somewhat stupefied by the flush gracing her cheeks. _Yes! She wants me!_

"Yeah, I mean Alice said she'd bring Jasper, so…"she trailed off and bit her bottom lip.

_No! A pity date, I'm just an afterthought…or maybe she's just as nervous as I am…s_o I gave her my most dazzling smile.

"Yeah, I'll see you at the diner then?" I asked as I slipped on my jacket.

"Yeah," she smiled genuinely and walked me silently to the door, "see you there."

_Ugh!_ _Don't chance losing her like you did 10 years ago, let her know you're interested._

I spun around and stopped the door before she shut it. She looked up questioningly and I reached out and caressed her face with my hand.

"Bella," I whispered looking into the molten depths of her chocolate eyes, "no one has ever come close to making me feel the way you did last night." Then I leaned in and slowly grazed my lips across hers before turning back towards my car.

* * *

I was too much of a pussy to look at her as I left, and as a result I would be wondering all day if my heartfelt words and that last kiss had affected her at all. I would never know if I got my point across, if she knew for certain that I still wanted her…that last night was not enough and would never be enough for me. At least I had the satisfaction of knowing she still had my shirt. It was a tangible symbol of what I was beginning to realize I had actually left behind.

_Fuck Fucking Jasper and his Fucking her out of my system…totally not happening._

I slammed on the breaks for a 2 point turn. Lost in my thoughts of Bella and our freaking fucktastic night together, and the anticlimactic morning, I didn't even remember driving home. I was so lost in thought that I missed my own freaking driveway. I was addicted, and in a day we would be going home separated by thousands of miles once again. I was up a shit creek, and Bella had stolen my fucking paddle.

I pulled up in front of the garage and took a few deep breaths to try and calm myself before going inside. I checked the time…it was only 8:30. Hopefully I would be able to skate in past my mom and avoid the heart-to-heart. I love my mother, dearly, but she has methods that would make Jesus nark. I just knew she would not pass up the chance to nose her way in for details of my evening, especially if Jasper and Alice had tattled on my activities. Without a doubt they had, I knew my big brother all too well.

I shut the door soundlessly and made my way through the foyer. I could hear Mom puttering around in the kitchen, all I had to do was sneak past the doorway and make it to the stairs. I quickly snuck a look to see if her back was turned and scooted by silently… or so I had thought.

"Edward? Is that you?" she called.

I hung my head in defeat. "Yeah Mom, did you need something? I was just on my way to shower," I answered.

"Wow," she said as she grinned and leaned through the doorway. "I'm glad you stayed at Charlie's, looks like you two had one hell of a romp. I'm going to have to thank Bella for finally giving you a night to remember."

I could only assume a look of horror colored my face as my mother commented on my extracurricular activities. Sick and wrong...mothers just aren't supposed to let you know that they know... I managed to stammer, "Look Mom, I don't know what Jasper and Alice told you about--"

"Jasper could only tell me enough to pique my interest, because he and Alice were too busy necking at the reunion last night to give me any details. It's the sex hair that gave you away my dear," she cut me off. "Your father's does the same thing when we…"

"Mom! Ugh!" I groaned and closed my eyes trying to block out the appalling visual assaulting my mind.

"Yes. Um, well…come, sit. Do you want breakfast? Alice and I made French Toast," she said, her eyes twinkling with mirth.

"Actually," I mumbled and jerked my fingers through my hair, "Jasper and I are going to meet up for brunch later with the girls, and Rosalie and her husband Emmett. So I should really hit the shower."

"I'm dying to know how things went with Bella, other than the obvious of course, but I won't pry," she said as she winked and handed me a cup of coffee before turning.

"I'll just get the details from Jasper and Alice later." I heard her call as I retreated to my room.

_I can't believe she just winked at me!_ What did she expect me to tell her? "_Yeah Mom, I had a fucking great time last night. I used my considerable charms and seduced my high school crush into taking me home with her so we could abuse her father's furniture in perverted and utterly satisfying ways, and am starting to realize what a pathetic existence I've been living without her." _I'm sure my mother would _love _hearing all the intimate details.

It wasn't until I was toweling off that I realized exactly what my mother had said... _What the Fuck?!_

Mom had never prepared a meal with any of the girls we'd brought home, with the exception of Bella, which didn't count because she wasn't my girlfriend, and now apparently Alice. She'd never allowed any of them into the hallowed halls of her kitchen, not even when I was engaged to Tanya. I was surprised Jasper even introduced her to them. My brother never introduced a casual fuck to my parents. He never even brought them home in the first place – he doesn't shit where he eats.

_What the fuck is going on? _I thought as I stalked back into my room to dress.

"So…Mom said you walked in half-dressed with totally awesome sex hair!"

_Jasper…_

"I don't think Mom has ever used the phrase 'totally awesome'…ever. What do you want asshat?" I scowled, as Jasper strode into my room behind me.

"I'm deeply hurt Bro," he said as he clutched his chest and dramatically fell onto my bed.

"So how did things go with the old flame? Good I assume?" He asked as he winked at me, as if he didn't already know.

"I could ask you the same question about your little sexcapades, couldn't I?" I teased. "How was your wham-bam-you're-lucky-if-you-get-a-thank-you-maam?"

"Well, judging by your hair, and my lack of sleep, I think we are both in a world of trouble little brother…"

"In that case you better get your ass in gear if we're going to make it to breakfast." I said as I snapped his leg with my damp towel.

"Oh, I so did not need to see El Capitán, bitch. Keep that thing covered!" He howled as he raced from my room.

"You're just pissed cuz mine is bigger than your's!" I yelled before shutting my door.

* * *

**AN - This chapter is brought to you by the musical styling's The La's - **_**There She Goes**_** courtesy of Six Pence None the Richer**

**To all the sweet bitches wearin' flannels and docs over on twilighted - you know who you are.... thanks for a rockin' trip down memory lane! We love you all!**

**Reviewers get to have pornogROBic dreams of an Edward/Jordan Catalano sandwich!**


	6. Wannabe

****AN: Edited to satisfy my inner grammarian...****

**Stephanie owns all things Twilight….we just own lots and lots of RobPorn.**

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**Chapter 6 – Wannabe**

**(BPOV)**

"_Do you like it when I kiss you here…or here?" Edward teased, as he moved his moist hot lips from my bare knee to inner thigh, tickling me along the way with his 5 o'clock shadow._

"_Edward, please," I begged, not caring how desperate I sounded. _

_Slowly his lips parted, and his warm wet tongue began to sweep its way higher, making a leisurely path up to the edge of my panties. As soon as his mouth came in contact with the fabric I could feel the wetness between my legs growing exponentially. Before I knew what was happening, he crawled up my legs like an animal stalking his prey, and hovered right above me, his face only inches from mine. _

_I could feel his hot breath all over my face, and could see his well defined shoulders flexing, as he held the weight of his body over me. Slowly, he pushed his still clothed erection against me, causing me to gasp out loud while I bucked my hips wildly to push further into him. He bent his head slightly and grazed my ear with his mouth, before quickly nibbling on my lobe. _

"Bella," he growled, his voice thick with desire, "Bella…._If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends, Make it last forever friendship never ends…_ Bella…"

Wait, _WHAT THE FUCK?! Why is Edward singing Spice Girls to me, is he talking about a threesome or something?_

"If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends, Make it last forever friendship never ends_…"_

I heard it again, only this time it wasn't in Edward's fuck-hot voice, but a blend of the most annoying British bitches I have ever heard.

_I am going to KILL YOU ALICE_, I internally growl at my former best friend. I threw my arm over my eyes and began thinking of all the awful ways I could rip that little pixie limb-from-limb.

_Really Alice, you KNOW I am not a morning person, and then to ruin the hottest dream I've ever had!_

I was so turned on by the dream I swore I could smell Edward's scent. Just as I was about to lean over and snatch the cell off my night stand, I felt the bed shift slightly next to me.

_Wait, WHAT??? _

In that second, the previous evening's events came rushing over me, and I realized the dream I'd just had wasn't so far off from reality.

_"Bella I need to taste you…"_

The memory of Edward hovering over me, my back pressed against the kitchen table, made my breathing speed up.

_OH. MY. GOD. I HAVE TO TALK TO ALICE!_

I jumped out of bed as gingerly as possible, hoping to not wake Edward. I wasn't feeling up to talking to him just yet, and I snatched the phone off the table right before it went to voicemail.

"Hold on," I hissed into the phone as I tried to sneak out of the room without waking the gorgeous man sleeping in my childhood bed.

_Don't look at him Bella. Don't look at him, or you won't be able to leave the room._

As I stepped into the hall, and quietly closed the bedroom door, I heard Alice yelling in the phone. "Sorry," I whispered sheepishly as I slowly moved down the stairs.

"Bella Swan! Ughh, I am so mad you! I thought we were friends!"

Immediately, I remembered leaving Alice there in the gym with Jasper without even checking with her. One moment Edward and I were dancing, and then the next thing I knew his lips were by my ear asking if I would like to stay or if he could escort me home. I wasn't really sure what had happened, but in that moment I would have done anything he asked.

_Shit, I broke "Girl Code". Rule One: Never leave a sister behind_.

"God, Alice, I'm so sorry. I never should have left you there like that, even if it did seem like you and Jasper were hitting it off as well as you were."

"Oh that? That's _nothing_ Bella. I would have left your ass on the side of the road if the shoe had been on the other foot, and you know I love you more then anything! I might have had the best night of my life, but we will discuss that later…right now I have bigger fish to fry!"

"What are you talking about Alice?" I cringed knowing when she had that matter-of-fact tone in her voice she meant business!

"_What are you talking about Alice_?" She mocked me in an annoying voice. "What am I talking about…umm how about that sex-on-a-stick, Edward Cullen? You really expect me to believe you and Edward didn't do the horizontal happy dance? I have never seen more chemistry between two people in my life. Well, except for Jasper and I maybe, but you know what I mean! You said he used to be geeky, and don't get me wrong geeks are totally hot, but he was a panty-changing hottie!" Alice rattled off at machine gun speed, her voice rising with each word.

Somewhere between Edward being called sex-on-a-stick and Alice confessing she and Jasper had chemistry, I finally realized I had no idea _where_ she was.

"Alice where in the hell are you? Are you here?"

Now it was Alice's turn to be quiet. "Umm, well no actually, I'm at Jasper's parent's house…" she replied.

"Ohhhhh, so you and Jasper had a _sleepover_ last night, huh?" I teased lightly.

"Oh give me a break Ms. I-always-keep-my-legs-shut! We noticed Edward never came home last night. I was just trying to be nice and give you a heads up that Jasper was about to bring me over to your place," she snapped.

_Shit, not good!!_

You do _not_ want anger the beast that lives in Alice, and I definitely didn't think Edward was up to one of her legendary interrogations!

"Alice I was only teasing about your sleepover. I can't wait to hear all of the details…" A loud _BEEP _sounded in my ear."Hey, hold on a sec, I just got a text." I quickly opened it and choked on my laughter.

_The pregnant bitch is hungry! Meet us at the diner at 10am. Bring Eddie and Jasper you naughty girls! -Rose_

"Hey, Rose just asked us to meet her at the diner here in town for breakfast this morning, and she told us to bring Jasper and Edward," I trailed off because I could hear what sounded like Edward falling out of bed. "Alice, I have to go. I think Edward is up."

"Ohhh, yeah I bet you he is _up_ and ready to go," I heard Alice giggle into the phone.

"Shut it bitch, get your walk-of-shame ass here and make sure to tell Jasper about breakfast," I snapped before closing the phone.

I turned around just as Edward was taking the last step off the stairs. Standing there in nothing but his pants, with his hair looking deliciously disheveled, I was bombarded with all the memories from last night that had actually put him in that state, and I could feel the heat spread on my cheeks.

"Hey," I mumbled to him.

_Wow really fucking original Bella! You sure didn't seem embarrassed when he had you on top of the table last night screaming his name, but this morning you can't muster up more than a syllable!_

"Morning Bella," he responded while looking into my eyes, forcing me to shift my weight a little and fidget with the collar of the shirt I was wearing.

_Shit! I'm still wearing his shirt!_

I looked down…

…_ONLY his shirt! Where are my goddamn panties_?

"I'm sorry if I woke you. That was Alice, apparently she and Jasper went back to your parent's place last night and she was calling to give us a heads up that he would be dropping her off in a few minutes."

"Um, yeah…I guess I should get ready to go then too…" he said, as he bent over to pick up the remainder of his clothes off the kitchen floor.

Without his belt on, the charcoal gray pants had fallen dangerously low on his hips. As he stood back up I could fully appreciate his hard abs that met the sexy v that disappeared under his pants. He pulled his wifebeater on and tried to straighten it out as much as he could, but it was a lost cause.

When I had clawed his button-down off of him last night, and saw him standing over me wearing that sinful wifebeater that displayed the sexiest tattoo I had ever seen in my life, I lost it. I had grabbed at his shirt so quickly, I was surprised I didn't give him whiplash.

Now in the light of morning, as he stood in my kitchen wearing only his pants and undershirt, I took my time looking him over, trying to commit every detail to memory. My eyes kept returning to his well defined bicep, where he had the large tattoo of a traditional anchor with a sparrow. It looked so amazing I would have sworn Sailor Jerry had done it himself. It took up over half of his bicep, the colors bright and vivid, and all I could think about was running my fingers up and down his arm.

Realizing I had just eyefucked him right there in my kitchen, I tried to start speaking. "So…um…I got a text from Rose that said she wants to meet at the diner at ten o'clock. She told me to bring you along… doyouwantto…um…gowithme?" I asked, the words all running together.

"You want me to go to breakfast?" He asked me quietly, almost timidly.

"_Okay Bella, keep it light. Just because he threw you on top of the table and made you scream his name, doesn't necessarily mean he wants to be forced to sit across the table from you for coffee…"_

Not wanting him to think I was being too pushy I replied, "Yeah, I mean Alice said she'd bring Jasper, so…"

Before I could say something else stupid, he agreed to meet us at the diner and I walked him to the door.

Just as I reluctantly started to close the door, he spun around and grabbed the door frame. He took his long sensual fingers and caressed my cheek while he leaned in to whisper in my ear. His hot breath burned a trail along my jaw and paralyzed me with the same intense rush of emotion I had felt the night before while he'd whispered in my ear as we danced.

"Bella no one has ever come close to making me feel the way you did last night," he whispered as his eyes captured mine with his passionate gaze. He leaned in painstakingly slow, and grazed his amazingly full, supple lips against mine.

As quickly as he'd kissed me, he walked out towards his car and left. I am not sure how long I stood there watching where his car had been, but my knuckles had turned white from gripping the door. I shook my head slightly to clear my thoughts, all the while my heart was racing. I didn't exactly want to have Jasper see me the morning after, only wearing his brother's shirt, so I made my way upstairs to quickly shower and change before Alice made it back.

Once I took his shirt off my body I found that I immediately missed the scent. I started to throw it in with the dirty clothes so I could wash it and return it to Edward before he left, but then it hit me. I couldn't return his shirt. I _needed_ to have something tangible to remind me of last night. I needed it because I couldn't allow whatever was happening between us to go any further than friendship. Last night had to stay an amazing memory that we could share, and that was all.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I had just poured two large cups of coffee when I heard the sound of a rumbling engine outside. All of our best girl talks had either been over coffee or Jack Daniels, and I thought 8:47 a.m. might be a little early to break open the Jack, so I quickly added the sugar and milk, just how Alice takes it, and waited for her in the living room.

"Morning Bella," Alice cooed as she ran in the door, and grabbed the cup of coffee I held out to her. She took a step back, and looked me over, before breaking into a huge grin.

"Jesus-tap-dancing-Christ Bella, how many times did pretty boy fuck you last night? You've got a morning after glow that could land a plane!" I rolled my eyes at Alice and she launched herself in the armchair across from the sofa I was sitting on….the sofa where Edward and I had fallen asleep.

_Focus Bella it's time for girl talk, hair braiding and squeals. Eyes on the prize, girl._

"Start from the beginning, and don't leave anything out. We have exactly…" Alice glanced down at her watch, "One hour and eleven minutes before we have to meet them at the diner."

"Wait, don't you need to take a shower and get cleaned up after last nights….activities?" I asked her, knowing how OCD Alice was about the cleanliness of her lady bits.

"No, I already showered over at Jasper's parents' house and helped Esme cook breakfast."

"Really?" I asked, knowing that Esme, who could give Martha Stewart a run for her money, didn't let _just anyone_ into her kitchen.

"Yes, _really_," Alice huffed indignantly. "Now stop stalling and get on with it!"

I told Alice that when I had seen Edward walking across the gym last night, I actually felt my stomach tighten. I think the term "butterflies" might have been used. Once I saw that beautifully tousled bronze head of hair he still had, I wasn't able to keep the grin from spreading across my face. I explained the way he held me closely as we danced. I had never been that close to Edward before, and his scent alone was making me a little unraveled. His emerald green eyes were even more exquisite then I had remembered, but I couldn't help but think it all looked a little off to me. We danced for a bit more and it hit me….he wasn't wearing his glasses. Without thinking, I had even asked him where they were. The song changed to Sarah McLachlan's "_Angel"_, and he actually pulled me in closer to him. Then as he slid his hand all the way around my waist, and pressed me against him slightly, I felt what I had always suspected. Edward _definitely_ walked with a big stick. He had moved his lips down my neck to my ear and kissed me and I felt dizzy. Then, before I knew what we were doing, I was sitting in the passenger seat of his shiny silver Volvo. It was as if I had been hypnotized.

I paused in my storytelling to look over at the clock on the wall. I realized it was 9:48 and we just had a few minutes to get to diner. I hopped up mid story, only to hear Alice screech.

"No way in hell you are going to just stop there bitch. It's like dry humping a boy for 30 minutes and then telling him you are saving it till marriage!"

"Alice I promise to tell you the rest but we now have…_eleven_ minutes to get to the diner, and I haven't driven Red in a while, so we may have to give her a little TLC to get going."

After assuring Alice that my "death trap" would get us there, we made our way to the diner. Parking outside, I could already see through the window that Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper and Edward were seated at the table.

We hurried in, and I noticed there was an open seat next to Edward, and one next to Jasper. Without even hesitating Alice flung herself in the chair closest to Jasper, and then proceeded to pull it so close to him she might as well have been sitting on his lap.

_To have her fucking confidence for two minutes. _

I sat down next to Edward and grabbed the menu just to keep me from nervously fidgeting.

"Good morning Bella. How did you sleep last night?" Edward asked with a smirk, while his eyes twinkled with mischief.

_Oh God not YOU again!_

I can stay calm and collected when 30 anorexic models are screaming that they can't find their clothes two seconds before a runway show, but Edward throws me that smirk and I feel like a bumbling idiot.

_Alright Smirky two can play this game……_

"I slept great actually. I had a midnight snack before going to bed that really…._filled me up_," I said as I purred out the end.

I watched Edwards Adam's apple bob noticeably, as he swallowed hard and looked down at his menu.

_She shoots, she SCORES!_

While waiting for the food to arrive, we all got caught up on how Rose and Emmet met. She told us how he had followed her around the auto parts store, and when she was leaving with the new part for her car, he'd followed her out and asked if she needed "_Any help putting it in under the hood?_" Rose then went on to recount how she had looked him right in his eyes and replied, "_No thanks, I put it in for myself all the time."_ Pretty much from that point they were inseparable. Getting married only 8 months later, they opened their business restoring and selling muscle cars and as Rose put it, she's been "popping out a litter of kids" ever since.

We were all talking and laughing, but Emmett was distracted, and kept looking around the diner. When I asked if something was wrong, he laughed.

"Umm…well…I just noticed there's no TV in here, and the game is starting in 10 minutes."

Rosalie flashed him one of those _"say another word and you will be eating your balls"_ looks, and was about to start verbally reaming him, when Edward cut her off. "Oh yeah, the Mariners are playing! My parents house is right around the corner. We can go there and watch the game while we let the girls catch up."

Emmett looked at Rosalie like an 8 year old asking _"Can I please, please, please, have the puppy?!"_ she sighed and rolled her eyes at him.

"Fine…we'll have some girl time, and meet you at the Cullen's. Please try to control yourself. I'd hate to see you break something of Esme's while doing one of your touch-down tooshey shakes."

The guys went outside and were fawning over Emmett's red car. It must have been pretty special the way they were standing back and whistling under their breath at all the shiny red paint and chrome. I got Edward's attention and he walked over to me and stood by my truck.

"I just wanted to thank you for your goodbye this morning. You left so quickly that I didn't get to tell you that I had a great time too."

"The pleasure was all mine Bella," he said in a deep gravely voice that made my lady bits start to hum.

_KNOCK IT OFF LADIES I WANT TO SHOW HIM WHO'S BOSS. _

I glanced around me and made sure that my big truck had given us some privacy. I closed the gap between Edward and I, my eyes moving between his lips and eyes. Snaking my hand up his neck and into his hair, pulling his head down closer to me, I brushed my lips up his jaw line and rested them at his ear.

"Edward, you have been a very naughty boy. What did I tell you last night? I told you that next time I saw you I wanted you in your glasses." I moved my mouth from his ear and placed a quick peck on his cheek then turned on my heel and headed back.

_That's right! Where is Mr. Smirky NOW?_

As I made my way back into the diner I could hear giggles coming from the table where Alice and Rose were still sitting. I knew that couldn't be good, because both of them loved to tell embarrassing stories about me.

"Wait so you mean he used to put that song on when he was trying to fool around with her?" I heard Alice ask in a squeaky voice, as she tried to catch her breath from giggling. I took my seat next to her and noticed she had her phone out, and looked like she was searching a website.

All of a sudden I heard the unmistakable beat coming from Alice's phone, and then…

"_You know what  
I like the playettes  
No diggity, no doubt…"_

Somehow within the five minutes that I was outside, Rose had managed to bring up a memory I had repressed for over 10 years now…Mike's favorite "make-out" song.

"Alright, enough Alice. Turn it off," I snapped at her.

"No _way_ Bella! This is mood music! I want to get all worked up…ohh maybe next time I see Jasper I should play this," she replied in the best serious voice she could manage.

"_I like the way you work it…No diggity, I got to bag it up, bag it up," _Alice sang along to the music while doing an obscene movement in her chair. Rose had her head down on the table laughing so hard we hadn't realized we had visitors.

Mike Newton and Tyler Crowley stood by our table looking like they had consumed every last drop of liquor in Forks. Tyler looked at me with the classic drunk stare, which makes you wonder if they are actually looking _at_ you.

Mike was standing about 5 inches from the table staring down at the three of us. He kept looking at me in the most disturbing way, kind of like I was something to eat. His white shirt from last night was unbuttoned down to the middle of his stomach, and I could see the blond chest hair that was coming out. There are some men who look sexy with chest hair, but Mike did not fall into that category. When I looked at his open shirt, it just looked like he had pubes growing out of his chest. The juxtaposition between his body and Edward's made me chuckle out loud.

I realized the song was still playing on Alice's phone, and he must have taken my chuckle as a positive thing, because he turned his back to me and started what could only be described as the most traumatic 60 seconds of my life.

Mike began swinging his hips side to side while "popping his booty" towards me every once in a while. While doing whate looked like he was trying to channel his inner Beyonce and started shaking his entire body at a rapid speed. He then started in with some go-go type move with his hands, and would pick his alternate knee up which was very reminiscent of a dog pissing on a fire hydrant. When I thought it couldn't get any worse, he turned around and was facing the table. Tyler must have seen this particular bit of choreography before, and knew what was coming, because he started whooping and hollering for Mike to "_show it off_." All the while Mike moved his hips to the song, as he took his right hand and slid it up to the hem of his shirt and began lifting the shirt to expose the whitest pube-covered stomach I had ever seen. I knew logically that a man could not be pregnant, but I would have bet my favorite pair of Chucks that Mike had a 2 year old stuck in there. He continued to rub his hands around his jiggling belly and I heard Rose start to gag. Mike then proceeded to roll his ribs around in what I am sure he found to be a seductive move but really just made him look like he had some type of deformity. He transitioned from a "driving-the-bus" move over to the quintessential "smack-that-ass" move right as the song finished.

I looked at Alice who's mouth was gaping open. I grabbed the phone and made sure that the song would not start playing again. I wanted to have children one day and watching another second of that would surely turn me off from men.

I glanced over at Mike and noticed he was hunched over, holding his knees and gasping for breath. Tyler, who appeared completely unconcerned about the situation, just looked at us and stated, "He just needs to catch his breath. He's always doing this shit."

"Well maybe you should get him home before he gets too sick. Looks like the two of you had quite the celebration last night," I coaxed, wanting them to get the hell out of there as fast as they could.

"Yeah you are probably right. Mike's mom gets all bent out of shape when he gets in late anyway, so I am sure they are going to be pissed," Tyler offered, as he grabbed at Mike and started hauling him towards the door.

"Wait…don't tossh meea," Mike slurred, "I wanda tell Bewa how purry she looks."

"Message received loud and clear Mike, now get home before you get in trouble!" I shouted trying to keep him from returning to our table.

Rose had finally righted herself in the seat, and Alice looked like she had just been defiled. "You mean to tell me you dated _that_?" she seethed at me while pointing towards the door. "…when you could have been with Eyecandy Cullen? Are you batshit crazy?"

"Speaking of Cullen," Rose chimed in, "there always was a rumor going around the high school that Edward was a blessed man, _if you know what I mean_. Would you like to confirm or deny Ms. Swan?"

I blushed so badly that I was sure my face resembled a tomato. Alice giggled. "Oh my…it's got to be good for you to get this red!"

They both burst into laughter "SHHHH…enough! We are in public sitting amongst the elderly. Do you really want to give someone a heart attack?" I scolded them.

Alice was bouncing in her seat. "Please Bella…we'll be good…I promise!" Rosalie nodded in agreement. "Yea, cross our hearts"

I smiled at them "Alright, I am a lady, so some details are between me and Edward, but I would like to say…_true_!"

Alice and Rose erupted into girly squeals. "Ohhhhh I knew it. I mean look at those fucking hands," Rose mused.

"And another little tidbit about Edward you ladies probably don't know. He has a tattoo on his bicep.. The sexiest tattoo I have ever seen. It's an anchor and a sparrow and just gahhh…_hot!_" I rambled on remembering how Edward had looked in the kitchen this morning.

"Holy fucking shit-bags Bella!" Alice exclaimed, "Jasper has the same exact tattoo on his arm! Ohhh I can't wait to get the story on that!"

"Alright so we know what he looked like," Rose said as she quirked an eyebrow, "but did he know how to use it?"

"It was so much better than I could have ever imagined…it was like we were made for each other! I have honestly never felt half of what he made me feel last night," I sighed dreamily.

They both smiled at me, and I could tell they were genuinely happy that I had such a nice evening.

"So what comes next?" Alice asked excitedly, while drumming her fingers on the table.

"What do you mean _next_? This is just two friends reconnecting, enjoying each other's company. _That's all Alice_."

"Bella I have known you since freshman year of college, and you are not the 'one night stand' type. Hell you honestly don't even date. This meant something, you have to admit that," Alice spoke very firmly.

"Alice that doesn't matter. You know right now is about my career, and _our_ company. Edward lives in Chicago, I can't have that sort of distraction in my life right now. This is too important to just throw it away over a man. I am not going to give up my dreams, because you know in the long run it is the woman who has to make all the sacrifices."

I could feel the tears threatening to spill out of my eyes as Alice reached for my hand and gave it a squeeze. "That doesn't always have to be the case, Bella. A good healthy relationship is about compromise, not just sacrifice." Alice spoke softly trying to help calm me down.

"Well it was the case with my mom! Do you know how many schools I had to change because Renee had a new boyfriend, and we were going to move in with him, or follow him around the country while he pursued his art, music, dance, you-name-it career? She gave everything up for any man that walked through the door, and because she never made a life of her own, she was always depending on a man to take care of her. That's why I decided to move here to be with Charlie my Junior year, and I promised myself I wouldn't be like her."

"Bella, look, nobody is asking you to marry the guy today. Just don't rule anything out, is that fair? I have an idea ladies. Why don't we have a little impromptu barbecue at my house tonight, as long as you don't mind 3 little ones running around until bedtime."

"Yes!" Alice squealed clapping her hands, "I love kids, but I have to make sure to watch my mouth. I know I swear worse than a sailor."

"Ha, please, my kids could probably teach you a thing or two," Rose laughed as she grabbed her phone and called Emmett. "Hey asshole, tell those other two numb nuts you're with that we are having a barbecue at our house tonight and they better be there…Yes, Emmett, you and I discussed this barbecue a week ago! Don't you ever listen to me?" Rose seethed while shooting an evil grin to Alice and me, and snapping her phone shut.

"Alright ladies, be at our house by 6pm tonight. Since I can't drink I will expect the two of you to pick up my slack, and I can drink any man under the table!"

_Oh sweet baby jeebus…..Alcohol + Fuckhot Eyecandy Edward = Big trouble for Bella. _

_It is going to be a very interesting evening._

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**AN – This estrogenfest brought to you by Spice Girls- **_**Wannabe**_

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**Lots and lots of love to all of you hot, amazing, random and super chatty ladies over on our twilighted thread. Special thanks to bellsielle for the musical inspiration behind Newton's diner dance.**

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**Reviews are better than hot steaming Sexward dreams….and he delivers a teaser too!**


	7. Save Tonight

**AN: Patience ladies, glasses wearing Edward cums to those who wait…**

**Steph owns all things twi….we just give Edward bad eyesight…**

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**Chapter 7 -Save Tonight**

**(BPOV)**

_"In point-two miles turn left onto Meadow Lane,"_ said the robotic voice of Charlie's GPS . I was silently thanking baby Jeebus for the invention of such a device, because Emmett and Rosalie's house was just far enough out of my "I know my way around" comfort zone that Alice and I could have ended up in Canada before we even knew we were lost.

I had high hopes that I would be able to stick to the "friends only" vow that I'd made to the girls this morning, but in the back of my mind I knew Edward had way too strong of a pull on me. I wanted to make the most of my last night with all of my old friends, because who knew the next time I would see them, but I also needed to try and control my "urges".

I caught Alice staring at me from the passenger seat of the car. "Bella, you look stressed! I know Edward's new hotness is hard to resist, but maybe it'll help if I play hard-to-get for Jasper, too. Then we'll have each other for moral support…pshh…it's not like I really have a great moral compass though, right?"

We both laughed at the truth in her statement. "Thanks Al," I responded, nudging her with my elbow.

"_You have arrived at your destination," _the GPS informed me. I looked to my left at the McCarty's amazing home. It was a huge two story, with columns and those weird mini evergreen trees that are trimmed into a corkscrew. I pulled into the half-circle driveway and saw Jasper unloading stuff from the back of his car. I looked around and spotted Edward carrying bags of groceries up to the house. Even from behind he was amazing to look at.

_Fuck, what magical force has this man catching my panties on fire just by seeing his back? __Shit... Stop! __How the hell am I going to make it through tonight without jumping on him?! Ugh, I'm in trouble! _

"Yay, it's Jazz!" Alice squealed, and jumped out of the car to run to him.

_Way to play hard to get, bitch! _

I was cursing myself as well, because the whole pep talk I had given myself during the long drive up went right out the window as soon as I saw him. His hair was that sexy "I just rolled out of bed" look that most people had to work to achieve, but for Edward it just happened. He had on a tight black t-shirt and a pair of very well worn jeans, which only accentuated the cash and prizes they held within. I moved my eyes up to his face and realized I had taken a bit too long to look him over. Edward must have made this connection as well, because he had that motherfucking smirk plastered on his lips.

_Shit!!_ I looked down quickly and attempted to pull the heavy-ass cooler, filled with our alcoholic contributions for the evening, from the trunk, when I felt someone come up behind me.

"Hello beautiful, can I help you with something?" A voice whispered very suggestively into my ear. I startled, and turned to look at him.

_FUCK ME! Control yourself dumbass…what happened to "just friends"? _

He smiled wickedly at me. "You look like you could use a little…help," he whispered into my ear and pulled me closer to him.

_I'm going to have to bust out the big guns. _I ran my finger across his lips, down his chest to his stomach, then I found his belt loop and pulled his body flush against mine, and whispered into his lips.

"You know, I can think of a way you can help me…" I said suggestively, while pressing myself into him. I heard him swallow hard. "You can…carry my cooler." I grabbed the cooler and pushed it into his stomach, and chuckled while I walked towards the others because I heard him let out a frustrated groan.

Alice had gotten to the door first and knocked, and I was standing right behind her when a cute little curly headed boy opened the door.

"What's crack-a-lackin, sho-ties?!"

I was laughing hard when Emmett came up behind the little boy and patted him on the head proudly. "That's my boy!" Then Rosalie came up with the two most adorable little girls, who were bouncing and waving at the same time.

"Hi guys! I see you've already met Emmett Junior, but we just call him Owen, he's 6, and these two terrors are the twins, Makenna and Maci, they're 3, and don't let the cuteness fool you." She giggled a little and whispered over their little heads. "It hides the _evil._"

Owen looked just like Emmett, but with Rosalie's blonde hair and blue eyes. The twins were adorable, both with ringlets of light brown hair and bright blue eyes with rosy pink cheeks that you just wanted to pinch. Alice giggled and squatted down, which wasn't necessary since she wasn't too much taller than Owen.

"You guys are _so_ cute! Can I have hugs?!" At that, all three pounced on her.

"Come on guys, we have everything set up out back," Emmett said, trying to lead the pack out through to the of the house.

"Yeah, come check out the crib, peeps!" said Owen, eliciting giggles from all of us as he strutted off like he was living on the streets of Compton instead of what could have easily been one of the nicest homes in Washington.

What we had seen of the house so far was amazing, but when we reached the backyard we were completely awed. It was a sprawling, professionally landscaped wonderland. There was a wrap-around porch with an old-fashioned swing, and a cobblestone walkway that led to an enormous pool which had slides, a waterfall, and an attached hot tub. On the other side of the yard was a jungle gym that looked like it was meant for a community park, instead of a backyard. We could see there was more to the extensive property, but it was obscured by trees and thick shrubbery.

Rosalie offered us drinks, and then Emmett asked Edward and Jasper if they wanted to go check out his cars. I swear they both let out girlish giggles, and had to fight the urge to hop up and down.

Alice and I busied ourselves helping Rosalie in the kitchen, keeping an eye on the little ones. The boys came back from the garage a short while later, just as we were ready to put the steaks on the barbecue.

"Woman, you know no one touches Big Daddy's grill but Big Daddy," Emmett growled jokingly at Rose, and she handed him the platter while smiling back. It was funny to see the comparison between how they behaved at home versus how they had behaved at the reunion. Apparently, Emmett really was the "king" of his "castle".

Alice and I set the table outside on the patio, and we sat down to eat shortly after. Our group fell into an easy round of conversation. It was amazing how well we all got along, considering how much time had passed since the last time we had been together. We all had so much fun, joking around, and telling stories. Alice and I exchanged glances a few times when any subject relating to Edward or I in high school was brought up. I could see I was in for a grilling later when she finally realized how much I hadn't told her.

Rose was just launching into the story about the fateful pre-graduation party that had almost landed me in Edwards lap, when I cleared my throat loudly and stood up. Rose must have gotten the hint, because she stopped talking for a moment. "Are you okay Bella?" she asked, even though she knew I was fine, and I was only trying to keep Edward from hearing any more embarrassing things he was better off not knowing.

I caught Edward smiling at me and I winked at him.

He stood up as well, and put his napkin on the table. "I think we're just going to take a walk. We'll be back in a bit, okay?" He said and led me down the path near the pool.

We wandered around the yard for a while, until we came to a clearing near the rear property line. Before us was a giant playhouse that looked like a gingerbread house on steroids, big enough for adults to play in.

"Umm…what the fuck?! This thing is bigger than my apartment in Miami! I wonder if they'll adopt me," I said, staring at the little cottage as we laughed. I pushed the door open gently, only to be met by a completely furnished and decorated room with wall-to-wall carpet that obviously was meant for children, but was clearly the work of Rosalie. There was a shrunken armchair, a small couch, and a tiny table with four chairs.

"Why do I suddenly feel like I'm Gulliver, and the Lilliputians are going to come tie me down?" Edward joked while trying to navigate around the little furniture.

"Well, I'm no Lilliputian, but the tying down—"I started, while giving him my best "come hither" look. _Great! You're really doing swell with this whole "resist the naughty bits" business, aren't you?_

Edward looked at me, clearly rattled by my forward behavior. He stepped towards me, with smoldering eyes and that fucking smirk. "I don't think friends are supposed to be attracted to each other like we are."

I put my hands on his chest. "True, but I think it's….," he cut me off with his lips, and it brought back all the fire from last night and more. His tongue glided over my bottom lip, urging me to give him my mouth, it lit a spark so intense that I fisted my hands into his hair pressing us together to ensure the kiss would never end.

We stumbled backwards until my back was pushed up against the playhouse wall. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and felt his strong hands on my ass lifting me up to grind against him, so I wound my legs around his waist to bring us even closer together. Our lips parted, and Edward moved his hot mouth across my neck. He then flicked my ear with his tongue before he continued kissing down my shoulder. He worked his way to the strap of my tank top and pulled it down my shoulder with his teeth, while the tip of his tongue trailed across my chest towards the other strap. He clutched me tightly against him as he adjusted our position against the wall, allowing him space to slide my tank top down my body. I worked my hands down to the hem of his shirt and feverishly pulled it off, needing to feel his delicious chest, and gasped from the sensation of his heated skin brushing against mine. Edward answered with deep groan.

In the back of my mind I knew this was wrong because of my "friends only" vow, not to mention we were in a playhouse that belonging to two adorable toddlers, but for some reason I simply did not give a shit. I needed him so badly in that moment I could feel an ache deep inside calling out for the relief only Edward could deliver.

I slid my legs from around his waist so that I could work on getting his pants off, He quickly got the hint and started unbuttoning my jeans. I had just undone his zipper when I heard Rose...

"This doesn't look anything like "friends only", and God help you if you actually did the dirty in my daughters' playhouse!"

_Oh my God we're dead_. I threw Edward's shirt at him and was trying to fix my clothes when Rose busted through the door.

"I'm really sorry Rose, we just got a little carried away, I swear, nothing "dirty" happened." Edward looked like he was going to vomit Emmett's special steak sauce all over his shoes.

Rose took one look at him and started laughing. "I believe you, especially since I can see Little Eddie didn't round third!" Edward quickly tried to cover up while blushing bright red.

Alice popped her head in "Couldn't resist sexward, huh?" I picked up a plastic teapot and whipped it at her. She and Rose started to walk back to the house and I could hear that traitor tattling on us, "Jazz, we just busted your baby brother playing '_Hide and Seek'_ with Bella in the girls' playhouse!"

I heard Alice giggle outside as Emmett screamed "EARMUFFS! Kids I'm serious!"

This was pretty much the most embarrassing moment of my life, I wanted to find a hole to crawl into, but Edward grabbed my hand. "Come on, we have to deal with it sooner or later. I just hope they drink enough so they don't remember this tomorrow!"

"I hope I get drunk enough so _I _don't remember that tomorrow," I grimaced.

As soon as we stepped foot on the porch, I scowled at Alice, then Owen broke the silence, "Dad, what does doing the dirty mean?"

Jasper and Alice howled while the rest of us blushed.

"Well buddy…umm…" Emmett stammered.

"Ok kids, time for bed," Rose cut in before Emmett could stick his foot in his mouth.

"But Mom I wanna hang with my peeps some more!" Owen pouted.

"I mean it mister, get upstairs and put your PJ's on, _now_," Rose scolded.

"Fine…peace out dudes, see you in the morning," he said as he sulked away.

Once the kids were in the house all eyes turned to Edward and I, but I was not getting into it.

"No talky, all drinky. Pass the Jack," I said trying to draw their attention away.

As I poured our first round of shots for the rest of us, Rose launched into the story of Owens's first "blow out.".

"Owen was only 8 weeks old and it was the first time that all three of us had been out for an afternoon. I'd been sitting in the car nursing while Em looked at me like a dog drooling over a pork chop."

"What do you expect, you hadn't let me play with the girls in over 6 weeks," Emmett pouted.

"If you were me you wouldn't let anyone play with Thelma and Louise either if you had a little pink parasite sucking on your teet all day."

"I'd suck on it all day if you'd let me, " he smirked. Rose smacked him up-side the head before continuing.

"As I was saying, when Owen was finished I told Emmett to change his diaper before we got out to have lunch. Emmett laid him out in cargo area of our SUV and had removed his clothing while I was trying to get myself covered back up.

"I heard Emmett scream and ran to the back of the car to see what was wrong. he had shit _all_the way up to his elbows and the most horrified look on his face. I started handing him wipes to try and clean Owen, but it just seemed to multiply. When he had taken off Owens's clothes, the dumbass had spread the poop all the way up into the baby's hair. I'd had enough of the smear-the-shit game pushed Emmett out of the way and cleaned him up myself."

"**B**aby poop is the most toxic substance known to man, I'm tellin' ya!" Emmett interjected as Rose paused to take a drink from her soda.

"After I'd redressed Owen in clean clothes, and Emmett had used an entire bottle of hand sanitizer to remove the "horror", as he called it, I noticed a slight breeze on my chest. I'd been so startled by Emmett's scream, I didn't notice Thelma giving a big "_Hey Ya'll"_ to the mall parking lot."

After our laughter quieted down Rose nudged her husband with a smile, "Emmett, move your ass and hit us up with some music 'I love the 90's' style! Plus I want to get the dirt on what's going on with Bella and Edward since we all know you're bumpin' uglies," Rose said as she snatched the ipod from Emmett.

I choked on my drink, blushed, and looked at Edward who had also had a similar reaction. "Nunya!" I said and Edward nodded in agreement.

Rose rolled her eyes, "Please cut the shit guys, you know you're meant for each other, so either shit or get off the pot!"

"Yeah, I only just met Edward but we all know Bella can't resist the magical peen," Alice giggled.

Edward was staring at me so I felt the need to reply, "To be continued bitch – move on."

_It's alright just a little bit longer and you'll get on a plane, go back to Florida and you won't have to be tempted to throw it all away._

*****

After we had consumed all of the Jack and moved on to the Boones Rose had purchased in honor of all of the drunken high school moments, we were very relaxed. All except for poor Rose, who was drinking her sprite and cursing us under her breath with each sip we took.

Alice, already completely schnockered, had her entire body in a little ball sitting on Jasper's lap, and was giggling. Her finger started tracing little circles on his forearm and then moved its way up under his shirt sleeve. Knowing Alice as well as I did, I knew that she had an obsession for tattoos on a hot guy. I wasn't surprised that she looked like she was ready to drag him to the bedroom caveman style.

"So Jazz, why don't you tell us about these matching tattoos you and Edward have," Alice purred.

"I'm actually very curious myself," I chimed in turning in Edward's direction.

Jasper looked over at Edward and shrugged "Edward is the one to ask about the meaning. We got them when I came to visit him his freshman year in college. I hadn't made it home for Thanksgiving or Christmas, and I'd missed my little bro. I decided to give the boy a night to remember, told him we were getting tattoos and the mother fucker said ok. I couldn't believe he agreed to it so easily so I told him to decide what we were getting."

"Why the Sailor Jerry?" I urged Edward, "I wouldn't have pegged you for the type."

"Since you asked so nicely Ms. Swan," he quipped while pretending to be offended. "The Anchor represents stability and a strong family foundation. The Sparrow has a million different meanings. The ones that struck a chord with me were the symbols of freedom and safe journey.

Since sparrows are known to mate for life they will always return home no matter how far they've traveled. The nautical star combined with a sparrow on a tattoo represents an individuals' freedom to search for their true love."

I could feel my heart starting to race. Seeing the tattoo on his arm had been one thing, but knowing the meaning behind it added even more to my attraction.

I must have been pretty deep in my thoughts because I jumped 10 feet when Rose smacked her hand on the table, "Well, this pregnant bitch needs to go crash cause I'm beat! Come on I'll show you where you're all sleeping." Rose said as she hoisted herself out of her chair to show us down a hall where there were two doors, and she pointed, "Girls on the left and boys on the right, and if any monkey business goes down you better be damn sure to keep it quiet!" she winked at us and headed upstairs.

We heard her call down for Emmett and he sighed, "I guess my fun's done for the night, see you fornicators in the morning."

Emmett grinned at the bottom of the stairs, seemingly waiting for us to adjourn to our respective assigned rooms, so Alice and I retreated to our room, and Edward and Jasper went to theirs. A moment later we could hear heavy footfalls on the stairs, and Alice looked at me conspiratorially, and I gave her a little hug.

"Go get him tiger," I said as I practically pushed her out the door. Edward jumped into the open door just after she stepped out, and I had to stop myself from pouncing on him immediately.

I quietly excused myself to change into the cute pajamas Alice insisted I bring along, instead of my favorite Betty Boop shorts set. I tried to make myself comfortable while Edward took his turn in the bathroom, but tossed nervously in the mostly empty bed.

The bathroom door opened and Edward stepped out wearing only traditional pajama pants and the sexiest pair of Poindexter glasses I'd ever seen.

_Halle-fucking-luja! _I clawed my way out of the bed at warp speed and launched myself into his open arms effectively slamming us both against the wall.

"Where's the fire?" the smarmy bastard smirked.

"In my pants," I panted as I latched onto his hair with both hands and forced his lips to mine.

He moved us towards the bed while I scrambled to remove his pants with my feet.

"What are you trying to do?" he chuckled as he started to lift me onto the bed, even though what I was trying to do was very apparent. He laid me back onto the bed and disentangled himself from my clutching limbs to remove his glasses.

He placed them on the nightstand, and turned back to me, only to see my shocked expression.

"Um, what?" he asked, when he saw my face.

"Pants off. Glasses on." I growled through clenched teeth.

"Yes Ma'am!" he smiled and complied, replacing his glasses on his face while simultaneously releasing the fly snaps on his pee-paw pants. "Don't you think you're a little overdressed for the occasion, Ms. Swan?" he asked, and hooked his fingers into the waistband of my shorts yanking them off in one deft movement.

To even the score I peeled my top off and tossed it to the side. Before my shirt could even hit the floor, he had me firmly pressed into the bed, his body completely covering mine. I could feel the heat radiating off of our bodies, and the air between us instantly charged with electricity.

"Bella, I don't know how to say this other than I _need_ you right now," Edward rasped, his lips hovering an inch from mine. He gripped my hips roughly and brought me impossibly closer him.

"Ditto Smirky," I replied as he covered my mouth with his, our tongues dancing together. I grabbed his bottom lip with my teeth and pulled. He hissed from the pressure, and responded with a slight buck of his hips. I felt him grow even harder. Liking the way I affected him, I tried it again, and elicited the same response. "You plan on doing anything with all those...cash and prizes?" I asked, nudging him with my hips.

"Yep, and you won the _big_ prize," he growled, trying to sound serious, as he pushed into me in one swift motion.

I gasped at the sudden feeling of completion, but I still felt a twinge of nervousness in my heart. Was it really a great idea to let myself become so infatuated with someone who could easily disappear from my life again? His hot breath was in my ear, and I heard a tiny growl coming from him as he picked up the pace slightly. I tried to push the thoughts from my mind and focus entirely on being with Edward in the moment.

I grasped for the right words to express to him how I felt, without getting too serious. "No matter what happens, I'll be yours," I whispered into his neck. I said it so softly I wasn't sure he even heard me, until I heard him whisper back. "Me too."

He was finally _my_ Edward...maybe not in the way I'd wanted back then, but for now I was going to take what I could get.

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**AN: This Chapter is brought to you by Eagle-eye Cherry – **_**Save Tonight **_**and a bunch of truly exhausted biotches that would be rich if we got paid for all of the extra hours we put in to get this story posted and sainted for taking crap from our men folk…**

**Reviews cannot compare to a naked geekward in glasses…**

**Stay tuned to the Naughty Sparkle forum for some extra delicious eye-candy…you can count on us to deliver! **


	8. Tearin Up My Heart

**Stephenie Meyer is a goddess and owns all things twilight…we own Edward's 'O' face.**

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**Chapter 8 – Tearin Up My Heart**

**(EPOV)**

"Wake up sleepyhead," a soft voice whispered in my ear. "Edward, wake up."

I felt her fingers lightly tracing circles on my bare bicep. She giggled quietly, and then I heard a faint sound that resembled a camera shutter. I cautiously opened one eye and immediately noticed that I still had my glasses on. They were cockeyed and half hanging off, but still mostly on my face. I straightened them out so I could see what she was giggling about, only to see her iphone about six inches from my nose.

"Bella, Jesus Christ, what are you doing?" I groaned, while pulling the blanket over my head.

"Sorry, it was too good to pass up. You were totally dead asleep, mouth open, and glasses still half on. It was so adorable I felt the need to document it photographically," she explained. I peeked out of the blanket and saw her shoving her phone back into her purse on the nightstand.

"You know I'm going to confiscate your phone and delete that at the first available opportunity," I told her as I pushed the blanket back down and pulled her over to me. I gave her a quick closed-mouth morning-breath-avoiding kiss, and a tight squeeze.

She giggled as she rose from the bed, looking all kinds of gorgeous, and started collecting her things and tossing them into her suitcase.

_Fucking hell…as if morning wood wasn't bad enough by itself, she had to prance around in those tiny shorts! Ugh, get a hold of yourself horndog!_

I had to actually force myself to not jump out of the bed and attack her when she bent over to pick up a discarded bra from the floor.

"Now _that_ is quite a view…" I said, while smiling at her wickedly.

Her head whipped around quickly, and her face was a deep shade of pink. I found it extremely amusing that she would still blush after all that I had already seen of her, but it was so typically Bella that it made me smile.

"As tempting as it is to crawl back into that bed with you…" she started, as she leaned on the end of the bed, allowing me a peek at the goodies within her top. "…Alice and I have to be at the airport soon, and I really don't want to miss my flight. As a matter of fact, I need to get in the shower _now_ if I want to be out of here in time."

"Jasper and I have an early flight too, so I also need a shower. Would you like company?" I asked. The blush returned to her cheeks, and she started to protest, but she looked like she wanted to say yes. I took her hesitation as a crack in her resolve, and I rose from the bed, sweeping her up in my arms and kissing her hungrily.

"Edward…I really…have to…get ready," she said between kisses.

I reluctantly let her go, and she retreated to the bathroom.

_What are you waiting for you pussy? A big fucking neon sign screaming 'Tell her NOW!'?_

I silently scolded myself for not admitting to her, clearly, and finally, that I was hopelessly in love with her. I had been in love with her for twelve years; I had just refused to admit it to myself for the last ten. I was quickly running out of time. There was no fucking way I was going to allow her to get on that flight back to Miami without telling her the truth about how I felt. I owed her more than a mid-coital "_Me too_". Bella deserved better than that.

She emerged from the steamy bathroom a short while later, dressed in a knee-length black skirt, a tight blue tank top, and flip-flops. She was still flushed from the hot shower, and the steam left a fine layer of moisture on her skin. She looked breathtaking. For a moment I let my mind wander and wondered what kind of panties she had under her skirt.

_Get your head back in the game dumbass…there are more important things to think about right now…if you ever want to see her again, you need to straighten some shit out…_

I shook my head, trying to clear the distracting thoughts from my mind. I had already changed my clothes, packed my bag, and was sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for her. All that was left to do was get her to agree to talk.

"Edward, only you would wear a tie to travel," Bella said with a giggle, while she eyed me from the doorway. "Are you okay? You look nervous."

"Um, yeah…I guess. Bella, look, before you leave we need to talk. I have some things I'd like to tell you, and I think it might be a good idea for us to figure out if we're going anywhere from here. A lot has happened over the last few days, and I've enjoyed every second of it, but I feel like there's a whole lot that's being left unsaid."

"Uh, okay. Talking could be good. I suppose we have sort of skirted the subject, haven't we?"

She suddenly looked very antsy, and I found myself reverting into insecure, geeky Nerdward who didn't think any girl would actually want him. Part of me wanted to believe that she cared as much as she professed last night, and this would be the start of something real for us. The other more confused part was terrified that she was going to thank me for the fuckfest and return to Miami without a single look back. The idea of the latter being a possibility seemed like a long shot, but it still sent a shiver up my spine. The thought of leaving and going on with my life without her in it was more than I could handle.

"I can be ready in fifteen minutes, is that okay? I wish we had more time, but our flights—"

I cut her off. "I have an idea. Let me see what I can do, and I'll be back in ten." I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and I left the room to go wake Emmett's ass up.

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Less than an hour later, after teary goodbyes and many hugs, Bella, Alice, Jasper, and I were pulling into the airport parking lot.

Bella had happily agreed to let Jasper and I drive them to the airport after I talked Emmett into keeping her truck. My explanation to Bella had been that Emmett and Rose were simply going to fix whatever it was that had kept the poor dinosaur from breaking fifty miles an hour. What she didn't know was that I also asked them to refurbish the inside, soup up the engine, and give it a shiny new coat of paint. Bella didn't have any immediate plans to return to Washington, so they had plenty of time, and she would never be the wiser. It would be a nice surprise the next time she returned home.

I pulled the rental car into the drop-off, and we all lugged our bags to the curb. Jasper, having very recently rediscovered his manners, offered to carry Alice's mound of bags, and I took Bella's comparatively small suitcase for her.

After checking in with our respective airlines, Jasper and Alice went their own way to "say goodbye properly", which we knew meant fuck-like-bunnies in a janitor's closet. Bella and I were left alone in the terminal café.

"Do you want to grab some coffee and have that talk?" she asked, with a nervous giggle at the end.

"Yeah, I think that would be a good idea. What do you want to drink? I'll go order, and you can find us a table."

"Just a regular coffee, please. Splenda and cream. I'll be over here," she said, gesturing towards a table in the corner.

"Okay, I'll meet you over there," I told her, and I went to get our coffees.

I was grateful for the few moments alone to figure out what the fuck I was going to say.

_Well I could always opt for the truth and say "I've loved you as long as I've known you, and I want to marry you, and give you babies, and rock on the porch with you when we're old", but that might be a little too much for her this early on. Fuck! What am I supposed to do? Lie?_

She was drumming her fingers on the table when I returned, and when she saw me she smiled. Not a "_having a great day_" smile, but more like a "_how do I say this?_" smile. She looked like she was trying to think of a way to let me down easy. _Fuck!_

"So do you want to go first?" I asked her, chuckling nervously. I'd rather not make a fool of myself getting all emo and sentimental if she was going to deny me part of her life once again. It was better to get it over quickly, like ripping off a band-aid.

"Okay. Well…where should I start?" She sipped her coffee, and then took a deep breath. "I'm really glad I decided to come this weekend. I wasn't sure if I wanted to or not. I mean, I really only came to see one person."

"Mike-No-Fucking-Diggity-Newton?" I asked, trying to break the sudden tension that had developed between us.

She choked on her coffee, and we both laughed at the mental image of Mike's spastic and embarrassing attempt at a mating dance in the diner.

"No, of course not. I always knew you hated him. I have no defense for that particular phase of my life, other than I was just an immature kid, and I didn't know how to go out and get what I wanted. I settled for what was easy. I'm a completely different person now," she said as she sat a little taller in her seat.

"I think we both had a hard time verbalizing our feelings. I won't lie and say I don't still have that problem, but I am getting better. I'm trying. And I'm a totally different person too. The only major difference is that now I feel like maybe I have a shot at getting what I want," I stated.

"What is it that you want?" she asked.

"I want the same thing I've always wanted, Bella…you." Her eyes, which had been on me the whole time, now dropped to the table. "What about you? What do you want?" I asked her, while trying to keep the abject fear of rejection out of my voice.

"I…I'm not sure. I know I want you to be in my life, and I don't know how I'm going to be able to get on that plane today and leave you behind, but I also know that long-distance relationships are hard. I don't want to start something that might fail anyway. That's like asking for heartbreak."

Her words were like a punch in the gut. I was planning scenarios for our lives together, and she was setting the whole thing up for failure in her mind. It was fucking unbelievable.

"Don't get me wrong Edward, I have very deep feelings for you. Feelings I didn't even know the depth of until this weekend, but I am terrified of investing too much into something that already has so many obstacles to overcome to even have a chance at working. You live and work in Chicago, and my home and business are in Miami. Do you really see that working easily?"

"No one said it was going to be _easy_, Bella. I only want us to try. I'm going to tell you the whole truth, right now…"

_Balls and fuck! Spit it out you fucking pansy…it's now or never…_

"…I've loved you since the first time I saw you. Every time we studied, every day in class, every moment I spent with you I wanted to tell you, but you had _Mike_, and I was just the nerd in the glasses. Finally, after all these years, I got the nerve to say something to you when I asked you to dance at the reunion. When I finally held you in my arms I knew I couldn't ever let you go again."

She looked dumbfounded. "I…I…I'm not sure what to say, Edward. I care about you too, and I always will, I just don't want to sacrifice my career and the life I've built unless I'm one hundred percent sure, can you understand that? I didn't have the greatest female role model, in case you've forgotten, and I'm terrified of uprooting my life for a relationship only to have it all crumble around me." She said, as she wiped a stray tear from her eye.

"Bella, I would never ask you to sacrifice anything. I know that Renee really screwed up with guys, but you aren't her, and I'm not one of those jackoffs. I'm in this for the long haul. I understand if you want to take things slow, but I need you to know that I'm not going anywhere, okay?" I took her hands in mine and kissed them. "How about this. How about we agree that we won't label what we have. We will agree to remain friends, and let the relationship progress naturally. We'll stay in touch, obviously, and visit when possible, but we won't rush things. Does that sound fair?" I asked.

She nodded weakly, but smiled. "I think that sounds perfect." She rounded the table and sat squarely in my lap, nearly spilling coffee on both of us, and wrapped her arms around me tightly. "Thank you for understanding, Edward."

"Anytime, Bella. I'm here. I always have been." I gave her a squeeze around the waist.

"I wonder where Alice and Jasper ended up," Bella said, looking around for any sign of them.

I nuzzled her neck, nibbling lightly. "I think I have some idea," I whispered into her skin. I felt her skin go hot under mine, and I knew I'd gotten to her. She may have been hesitant in the commitment department, but she seemed to respond favorably to my touch, she just needed a little encouragement to let go, as evidenced by last night's activities. Thankfully, I knew just how to _encourage _her.

The weight of the conversation we'd just had was threatening to suffocate me with its seriousness, and we were in dire need of something to lighten the mood.

"You know Bella, I always kept that picture you left me. It's in a frame on my dresser. I really appreciate you doing that, even if I didn't understand it at the time," I told her, while I continued to kiss up her neck towards her jaw.

"I didn't want you to forget me," she said, fidgeting with her hands.

I reached up and took them in my own. "Bella, there is no way in hell I could have ever forgotten you. God knows I tried, for a long time, and I found it to be completely and totally impossible. It looks like you're in my heart for good." She grinned at me widely, her eyes looking slightly misty. "Are you finished with your coffee, Ms. Swan?" I asked, giving her my best devilish smirk.

She looked curious, but nodded. "Why? What did you have in mind?"

I pointed behind us at the retro photo booth, and I winked at her. "It's time we go make some new memories..."

I gently slid her off my lap, and pulled her by the hand, leading us across the concourse to the photo booth. I pulled a five-dollar bill from my pocket and inserted it into the machine.

"Edward, are you serious?" she asked, eyeing the booth warily.

"Yes, I am. Care to join me?" I asked her as I stepped inside the curtain and sat on the stool. She smiled and stepped in after me, sitting down across my lap in the semi-dark booth.

Without warning, she grabbed my tie, pulling my face down to hers, and kissed me passionately. I was caught slightly off-guard, and I was in an awkward position on the small metal stool but I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her back fully, my tongue searching for hers as our breath mingled. I slid my hand down from her waist and gripped her ass tightly, eliciting a small moan.

The curtain was long enough to shield us from passers-by, but they would still be able to hear us if we made any conspicuous noises. I broke our kiss to whisper into her ear.

"We have to be absolutely silent…understand?" I asked. She nodded feverishly in agreement.

She threw one leg over mine, and I turned her so she was straddling my lap, my very obvious excitement pressing into her, and I gripped her tightly around the waist. I thanked whatever magical forces had made Bella decide to wear a skirt, and I moved my hands down to slide her skirt up her legs. My hands roamed slowly over her thighs and up to her ass, and I was shocked and surprised to be met not with lace or cotton, but with bare skin.

"You didn't _expect_ this to happen…did you?" I whispered.

"No, but I hoped," she answered back breathlessly.

That was all the encouragement I needed.

I reclaimed her mouth with mine as I deftly undid the button-fly on my jeans and freed my erection from my boxers. She lifted herself up just enough to allow me to slide into her. I felt the same electric sparks that always accompanied any contact with Bella, only now there was a longing there, too. I pulled her down onto me, hard, filling her completely. At that same moment, our breath caught in unison, and I heard the faintest of squeaks come from her.

"Shhhhh…" I whispered, putting my index finger gently against her lips. Her tongue darted out and drew my finger into her mouth, and she sucked on it gently. I stifled a groan, and resumed moving my hips in time with hers. There was something oddly erotic about having to be quiet. The effort made it feel more forbidden, and the slight chance of being caught in a compromising position somehow made it even hotter.

Bella was writhing on my lap in seconds, and with her frenzied movements, I knew I wasn't going to last long. The excitement of doing something so illicit, coupled with my recent profession of love, sent me totally over the edge.

"Fuuuuuuuuck…" I hissed into her ear. I held her tightly onto my lap as the last shudders of ecstasy shook our bodies. I buried my face in her hair, trying to slow my pounding heart, and wished we could stay like this forever.

Over the loudspeaker, a voice announced my worst fear.

"_United Flight seventeen-oh-nine to Miami is now boarding all rows at Gate twelve_."

"Shit, that's us," Bella said, as she kissed me lightly, then carefully slid off my lap and stood on her still shaky legs. She stepped out of the booth, and I buttoned my fly before I followed her.

My eyes were scanning the crowd for signs of Jasper or Alice when I heard a tiny snort, and a masculine giggle behind us. Bella and I turned to see Jasper leaning against the wall, and Alice with a four-picture strip in her tiny hand.

"I guess a picture is worth a thousand words, I just didn't know any of them were '_fuck me in the photo booth_'!" Alice joked, waving the strip at us.

"Oh God little brother," Jasper was laughing so hard he had tears running down his face. "I could have gone my whole fucking life without seeing your 'O' face!"

Bella and I, in our hurry to "_say goodbye properly_", as Jasper and Alice put it, had forgotten that the photo booth was actually going to take _photos _of us. In our passion, we hadn't even seen the flashes. There, in Alice's teensy hand was a four-picture documentation of our foray into photo booth sex.

Bella jumped at Alice and snatched the strip away.

"Very funny. Ha ha ha." Bella said sarcastically. "Go swap spit so we can get on our plane." She said shooing them away.

Once they were safely out of earshot, Bella turned to me.

"Thanks for the _proper_ send-off," she joked. "Now, which do you want?" She asked, holding out the pictures for me to see.

I tore off the first one, which showed us locked in a kiss, but it showed most of Bella's beautiful face. "Just this one. You can keep the rest."

"Okay. I'm not really sure how to say goodbye to you. How should we do this?" She asked, looking like she was going to cry again.

"Let's not say goodbye. We'll say 'see you soon' instead, because I know I won't be able to stay away from you for very long. I will _definitely_ be arranging a visit to Miami very soon. I hear they have some nice beaches there…and come to think of it, I might know someone who'd be willing to let me crash at her place. Maybe she'll even be willing to _share her bed_." I teased. She looked horrified for a moment, until she realized I was referring to her. I pulled her into my arms and hugged her tightly, kissing her on the top of her head. "Only you, Bella…I promise."

"_This is the final boarding call for United Flight seventeen-oh-nine to Miami leaving out of Gate twelve."_

I heard her whimper quietly, and she squeezed me around the waist before letting go. She looked up at me with wet eyes and sighed heavily, then reached up and pulled my face down to hers, kissing me squarely on the lips.

"See you soon, Smirky." She turned and grabbed Alice by the hand and pulled her off Jasper. They were still making smooching sounds at each other as Bella dragged her down the walkway to the plane.

"_American Flight four-fifteen to Chicago is now boarding at gate three._"

I groaned, and reluctantly gathered our bags, practically dragging Jasper the love-struck idiot, and headed toward the gate to board our plane.

* * *

**AN: This chapter is brought to you by NSYNC's **_**Tearin Up My Heart**_** and photoboothscrapbooks(dot)com.**

**Farewell sex with Edward in an airport photo booth…GAH!!!! Now go change your panties and review!**


	9. Falls apart

**Stephanie Meyer is the original genius, we just push a designer knock-off.**

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**Chapter 9 – Falls Apart**

**(BPOV)**

As much as I'd wanted to, I hadn't looked back at Edward as I dragged Alice to our departure gate. It was the only way I could keep it together. I lost myself in thought, vaguely aware of Alice's excited chatter next to me, as the plane prepared to take me further away from the one thing I'd always wanted and the fates had conspired against me to never fully have…

My emotions had never been in such turmoil, with the exception of the day Edward and I had left for college. After my awkward attempt to declare my love at graduation, I was afraid he might never know how I felt, let alone share those feelings. That's why I'd left the picture of us at graduation on his front porch. I couldn't face another goodbye and add to my heartache.

In an attempt to avoid spilling my heart vomit embarrassingly across the back of the picture, I'd opted for the friend-worthy label and date. I'd hoped leaving the picture ensured a piece of myself was always with him. At this point his friendship was better than not having him in my life at all.

I'd spent my summer, in Jacksonville with my mom, hoping he'd call, send an e-mail, or even a letter. On his birthday I'd sent him an e-card but there was never a response. As time pressed on I prepared for the start of my new life at college and the realization I'd feared all along, Edward had left Forks and me behind with it.

Graduation was the last time we'd spoken, and when my birthday came around with no acknowledgement from Edward a feeling of finality had washed over me. I'd decided to move on and try to relegate the feelings I'd had for him to the past. I threw myself into school and my budding friendship with my roommate, Alice. Although she'd kept me busy socially, I never had the desire to date indiscriminately, or with any kind of fervor.

Over the years there had been a few men in my life, but nothing ever became serious. I'd cared for them, but I had never felt the longing or love I'd hoped to find. Every time I'd tried to get close to someone, I'd compare them to Edward. No one ever quite measured up to my memories. Instead of fulfilling myself romantically I'd used my studies, and eventually Alice's and my business, to occupy my mind and heart.

It wasn't until I'd received the invitation from the reunion committee that I'd dared to hope I would see Edward again. Over the years we were never home for the same holidays, and on the occasions I'd had the chance to speak with Esme I'd found out he'd become very successful professionally but had, as yet, never married.

My only reason to attend the reunion had been Edward. I'd only gone in hope that he'd be there, and after all these years I'd be able to see how time had changed us. Finally there was a possibility my heart would finally find closure, and lay the ghost of what could have been to rest.

My heart shit-canned that idea as soon as I laid eyes on him. Even without his glasses he was the most appealing man I'd ever seen. Add that to the intensity of the rest of the weekend's "activities", and I knew I was completely and utterly _fucked_.

I'd made a deal with the devil, his name was Edward-Fucking-Cullen and he owned my soul.

The feelings I'd pushed down inside over the years came roaring back to life, and I knew there was no turning back. He owned my heart and my body like no one else ever would, but the reality of our situation split open my heart like a bottomless chasm threatening to swallow everything I'd come to hold dear. This was a complication I did not need. I could not throw away the life I'd built for a man, even Prettyface Sexward, and yet I could not toss him aside any easier when he was finally within my grasp.

I would just have to do what I always did best…avoid the situation. I would just concentrate on work.

"Bella? Bel-la! Have you heard anything I've said in the last twenty minutes?" Alice asked, snapping her fingers in front of my eyes, obviously annoyed at my lack of attention to whatever she'd been prattling on about since we'd settled ourselves on the plane. "Jesus Bella, it's been at least a half-hour since you and Edward fell out of that photo booth. How good could an airport quickie be? Oh wait…it _was_ that good and we have the pictures to prove it!"

"Shut it Alice!" I said through clenched teeth as I brought my hands up to cover my reddening face. _Fuck!_ My cheeks were warming with a combination of embarrassment at getting caught by that perky perv and her depraved insta-boyfriend, and arousal at the memory of Edward's hands on my body.

"I'm shocked, my little Bella fucking in an airport photo booth! Anyone could have walked by while you were getting your sex on with Edward." She teased. I take it Boothward was too _hard_ to resist, eh?"

"Don't start. Just because I haven't had as much _public exposure_ as you have doesn't mean I'm a prude. There's no way in hell you're going to convince me you and Jazz were able to resist the pheromones long enough to thwart a good opportunity for goodbye sex!" I countered back.

"You know me too well Bells, of course we did it…in the bathroom." She smiled impishly. "Anyway, if you would have been paying attention instead of drifting off into Edward-land, you would have heard what I was trying to tell you about my latest little adventure…"

"I don't really need a description of your bathroom rendezvous with Jasper. I've heard enough of your sexcapades to more than make up for it." I interrupted before she could get caught up in her description.

"At least you haven't seen photographic evidence of my activities. I'm glad we'd already gotten our 'O' before we had to see Edward's or I never would have gotten a proper send off from my Jazz." She shuddered before continuing on, "To think I would have had to wait two whole weeks before I could get another ride on the General…"

_The General? I don't even want to know._

"Next time some booth action might be in order. It _looked_ like you guys had a little bit of fun in there. We'll just be smart enough to not get actual pictures….oooh, unless you'd be willing to keep watch for us so nobody steals my schmexy Jasper porn!"

"Gah! Sorry to rain on your smut parade Alice, but I'm not sitting outside a photo booth while you and Jasper have sex just so you can get some pictures." I snarled as my face turned red with further embarrassment. "Enough with the photo booth already!"

"Fine. I'll drop it for now, but I reserve the right to bring it up at a future date of my choosing." She relented.

"Fine." I refused to argue any further with Alice, she always wins. "What was that you said about seeing Jasper in two weeks?"

"Oh, that's what I was trying to tell you if you'd been paying attention instead of fantasizing about Edward's peen. Jasper is going to be in Miami during Labor Day weekend. He has a speaking engagement scheduled for the 116th Annual General Convention of the United Daughters of the Confederacy. He'll be here all week!" She squealed and then added, "It's too bad Edward can't come with him."

"It's fine," I said trying to hide my disappointment. _Time to put my plan of distraction in to action._ "I have a lot of work to do for the show anyway. I need to put all my focus on bringing this together. Which reminds me," I said as I launched into work mode and started clarifying details with Alice. "I need to verify dates with AFD and I'll need your approval for the details at the Viceroy location to give to the _Funkshion_ week coordinators." I was able to successfully distract Alice from discussing our relationships for the rest of the flight.

When we landed I received a text from Edward. - _Miss you already. Let me know when you get home. E- _I quickly texted back with an affirmative before starting through all my business messages.

As soon as we got home I closeted myself in my room under the pretense of unpacking, but I was really trying to avoid Alice and her conversation with Jasper. She'd been on the phone with him since we'd landed. Their cuteness made me want to vomit. As much as I wanted to see my best friend happy and in love, I couldn't stand that I was unable to put myself out there as easily for what I wanted, even if it was for Edward. _Thanks mom_, I growled at myself as I prepared to try to drown my sorrows in sleep.

* * *

_The last two weeks have been sheer hell. Alice will be waiting with a white coat if I don't get myself under control and get some rest… _

I rubbed my eyes and temples trying to soothe my headache as I prepared to finish up my day. My patience and temper were wire thin from a hectic work schedule and lack of sleep. I was working overtime trying to ensure our fashion line's success at Miami's bi-annual _Funksion_ _Fashion Week_. This was our first major show, our future business prospects were riding on the success of our new fall line for our label _Off the Line_. The corporate side of our business, Clutched Inc., was overseeing the set up for the week's host venue. Our company needed this event to succeed and with the design aspect completely in Alice's court, all the event details were in mine.

Alice and I were both stressed out at work. I was completely exhausted as well. Although I was sleeping at night, Edward plagued my dreams during the only time my mind was at rest. I missed him during the day, but only in those rare moments when I had a moment to gather my thoughts. I was so busy I couldn't have kept anything straight if it wasn't for our assistant, Marcy.

Night, however, was a different story. The dreams varied every night, but Edward always had the starring role. I'd either vividly relive every moment his hands touched my body, or just hear his voice whispering words of lust and love delicately in my ear. Every morning I'd woken up as if I hadn't slept at all, and completely aroused. I felt as if I hadn't had sex in years, instead of just a few weeks ago. I tried to convince myself every morning as I headed for work that it was just the stress taking it's toll.

The only thing that seemed to ease the ache in my heart and body were Edward's calls. Amazingly, he somehow knew to call during some of the only free moments of my day, usually as I picked up my morning Latte on the way into our office.

He'd kept to his word so far, and had only sent a few texts or called asking how I was, and encouraging me through my hectic schedule. Professionally, he seemed to truly understand the importance of our upcoming event, and the time it demanded from my schedule. Emotionally, he didn't push more than I was able to give, although I could tell at times he would have liked to have talked longer.

He called the morning of Jaspers imminent invasion into my world, and eased my tension with snarky comments. He'd said he wished he could be there to help deflect their harassment when they joined forces in their unabashed perversity, but reminded me I could hold my own, especially if I made use of the ammunition he'd provided. When Jasper was fourteen, during Boy Scout Camp he and his buddies made a bet to see who had the largest peanut. The _big_ winner got the satisfaction of watching the loser streak the neighboring Girl Scout Camp. That was the last year Jasper went to camp…apparently he was a late bloomer…

Alice and Jasper were in the middle of an epic gropefest when I got home from work. If I'd walked in any later, I probably would have seen "The General" live and up close.

"Hi Jazz," I smiled as I made my way into our living room. "Did you have a nice flight?"

"Indeed," he smiled back as he disengaged himself from Alice's tentacles and made his way over to me. "The usual, you know, would you like some pretzels? I saved them just for you."

"What no peanuts?" I said as I hugged his sorry ass. "At the very least I think I deserve the best Sky Chef has to offer for giving you wayward children some alone time for the weekend…"

"I think I might be able to come up with something special," he said as he pulled out a sixer of Vitamin R. "A taste of home. I was saving it for a special occasion."

After one beer, and the most uncomfortable 15 minutes as the third wheel in the Boogie Nights of eye-fucking, I excused myself for the evening so Alice could have Jasper to herself. "I'll see you guys Monday afternoon. Behave yourselves."

"Don't I always?" Alice asked devilishly as she led Jasper to the stairs.

_Thank God she took the master suite on the top floor._ Having my suite on the main floor of our tri-level condo was to my advantage, I really didn't want to hear their ass-smacking all night long before driving up to Jacksonville to spend my holiday weekend with Renee and Phil. _Ignorance is bliss. I hope they keep their indoor sporting activities to themselves. _

"I don't want to find any man stains on the couch or any other communal surface when I come home!" I yelled before shutting my bedroom door.

Near the end of college Renee had "fallen" for Phil, a minor league baseball player. For the first time in years she had friends and a social life outside of the current flavor of the year.

Now I could see nothing had really changed, she was right back to square one. She was so busy taking care of Phil's needs during their party, she neglected to take care of the rest of the guests. Every time she started talking to one of her friends Phil would need another beer or required her assistance with something, it was really disgusting to see the way she would bend to his every whim. Once again I had to step in and shoulder her responsibilities as hostess. It was pathetic to watch and reinforced my misgivings about having a successful relationship with Edward.

After watching my mom degrade herself by catering to Phil over the weekend, I was glad to get back home. An evening out with Alice and Jazz, was just what I needed before jumping back into the flames of Hell. At least I could look forward to the break we could take after the close of fashion week

_Maybe we could take a vacation up to Chicago to see the guys…_

That thought was immediately forgotten when I heard what Alice had planned for us…sushi and black light bowling at Lucky Strike Lanes…_Shit!_ _Who puts those two things together anyway? At least there will be beer, lots of beer._ I was ok with the bowling, but sushi and I had made an agreement to stay very far away from each other after the last time Alice had conned me into one of her sporting events. Thanks to the power of pixie persuasion, I now knew too much saki and a previously unknown allergy to seaweed=barfing in the car on the way home. I instantly gagged at the memory. _Too bad I hadn't barfed in Alice's new Prada handbag instead of my own..._

"So Jasper are you headed home tomorrow or are you off to charm another flock of horny old ladies?" I asked while we waited for Alice to bowl her final frame.

"Nah, I'm heading up to South Carolina for a similar gig for the Son's of Confederate Veterans Annual Meeting and then I'm out to Cali to schmooze with some studio execs about an upcoming Civil War documentary. After that I'm heading out to New York for a quick spot on Sesame Street with Grover before going home to work on my new book," he said while finishing off our last pitcher.

"I will so have to watch that episode." I chuckled as I moved in for the kill. "You know, Alice has always had a secret fetish for Super Grover. She'd be _extra grateful_ if you were to help her out with a certain fantasy of hers…"

The look on his face was priceless, I could hardly keep my laughter under control.

"Really?" He looked thoughtfully over at Alice who had just rolled her bright pink ball down the lane and seemed to be trying to will it away from the gutter. "I'd need a cape and a helmet…I wonder if I should use body paint or furry spandex..."

Between four pitchers of beer and the vision of Jasper wearing a furry blue unitard, I completely lost it. I laughed so hard I fell off the bench onto the floor.

Alice, having knocked over one pin, came running over to Jasper and catapulted herself at him. "Did you see my mad skills baby?" Alice asked as I wiped the tears from my eyes. "What's up with her?"

"Biotch here tried to con me into dressing up as Super Grover to fulfill one of your secret fantasies." Jasper drawled.

As I slowly regained my composure, I noticed the twinkle in Alice's eye. _Shit, you should know better than to mess with the master…_

"If you get to be Super Grover," she purred as she straddled his lap and licked his neck, "I get to be Abby Cadabby."

That vision was a mood killer. "Gross you guys. I've been schooled." I relented.

"Alice 117 - Bella 2," She said as she pulled Jasper up from the bench. "Ready to go?

"Yeah, I think I'm good. Are you always on the road or do you get to spend much time at home" I asked as we made our way out of the bowling alley.

"Sometimes, it all works out. Hell, I might come straight back to Miami, who needs to go home when Alice is right here" he said while kissing Alices's hand and pulling her in next to him.

Without warning I instantly had a lump in my throat.

_What kind of fuckery is this, Bella? Get your shit together, don't get all choked-up like you're watching Titanic just because these two are happy and you miss Edward._

* * *

Monday morning dawned with Dreamward torturing my senses yet again. I headed into the office completely sexually frustrated, but I'd hoped I could just distract myself with work and actually get something done.

I was not so lucky…it was the day from hell.

As soon as I got to the office I was accosted by a bike messenger, named Eddie…so not cute, so not my Edward. He broke my heel when he rammed into me, but fortunately I kept a spare pair in the car for just such an emergency.

When I walked in the door, Marcy had a pile of messages for me to return and a scheduling crisis for our meeting with the distributor in the afternoon. "Reschedule the AFD meeting for a late lunch, make reservations at the usual and I'll start returning these calls," I stated settling myself at my desk.

I was halfway through my pile of messages when Marcy buzzed the intercom. "Bella, Edward's on line four. Do you have a minute?"

_Shit. I could really use a friendly voice but I just don't have time…._

"I'll take it." I said as I switched to line four. "Edward, I so needed to hear your voice right now. I'm having the motherfucking morning from hell and hardly any time to talk."

"Ms. Swan this is Ed Duncan from AFD" said a voice that was not my Edward's.

"Shit! Could my day get any worse?" _Fuck! I just said that out loud! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!_

"Excuse me, Ms. Swan?" Ed asked.

"I'm so sorry Ed, and please call me Bella. Marcy told me Edward was on line four and I assumed you were someone else." I apologized, feeling my embarrassment blaze across my skin.

"No problem Bella. I just wanted to tell you that my assistant, Madeline, and I would not be able to meet you until later this evening as we have a few other designers scheduled this afternoon as well. Would you be able to make it 7:00 at Blue Door?" He said.

"That's fine Ed, Alice and I will meet you there. Thanks." I answered.

After I hung up the phone I sat there in silence for a minute before banging my head on my desk a couple of times. _How much more fucking embarrassed can I get. This day is never going to end…I should go home immediately get back in my pjs, secure a tub of Stephen Colbert's Americone Dream Ice cream, watch the first two seasons of Buffy, and ignore the world for the rest of the day before anything else could go wrong._

On pure impulse I pulled out my iPhone and texted Edward.

_Have a late meeting tonight. _

_Totally stressed, hellish day. _

_Need to hear your voice. _

_Can I call late? _

– _B_

_It's only 9:30, how bad _

_can it be? Of course you _

_can call. I'll be waiting. _

_- E_

I threw myself back into work only to have my laptop crash right before losing power for two hours after some dip shit cut the line by accident. I tried to make the best use of my time by running to the Viceroy to speak to the staff in person, only to find out that the event coordinator was off for the next two days.

The rest of my day continued along the same lines. Fortunately it was almost over. I just needed to make it through the last meeting. I was, of course, a little late but I'd called ahead and Alice had been able to meet them at the restaurant.

Ed stood and shook my hand as he introduced his assistant, Madeline. As soon as I was seated our waiter, Eduardo, immediately took my order.

"Are you ready to place your order now?" he asked with a slight…sneer?

_What the fuck?_ "Yes, I'd like the Chilean Sea Bass with a glass of white wine, please." _Forget the damn wine bring me a bottle of The fucking Captain!_

_What the hell is the deal today? First _Dreamward_ left me hanging, _Spandex Eddie_ nearly ran me down with his fucking BMX, I mistook our distributor _Ed_ for my Edward, and now _Eduardo-the-craptastic-waiter _sneered at me for ordering late…this day just needs to end… _

By the time the meeting was over, I'd reached my breaking point. Fortunately Alice and I had been able to set aside some time to meet earlier that day, so she was able to carry the bulk of the negotiations.

We arrived home shortly after ten p.m. I went straight to my room with Alice's blessing to wallow in my self-pity. I was finally able to call Edward around eleven o'clock.

"Edward?"

"Bella?"

"Yeah, it's me. I'm sorry I'm calling so late, I just really felt like I needed to hear your voice today."

"It's ok Bella. Remember Chicago is an hour behind you, so it's not really that late."

"Thanks, I feel like such a tool. I was so busy today and everything was going wrong. I kept thinking of you. I wanted to concentrate on work, but everywhere I turned something reminded me of you. I just needed to hear your voice and tell you I was thinking of you." _God, I probably sound pathetic…_

"I've been thinking of you too," he said. "You can call me any time. Like I told you at the airport, I'm here for you. I always have been, even though I didn't know you needed me, and I will always be here."

"Thanks Edward. I just want you to know I do need you, I'm just not sure…." I trailed off into a yawn. "Sorry, I'm just so exhausted."

"Don't be sorry Bella," he sighed. "You need to sleep, we'll talk more another time."

I said good night and hung up the phone, feeling a disgusting mixture of longing, confusion, and fear. I yearned for Edward to be here, holding me and whispering sweet words in my ear. However, I was still so confused about where we could possibly go with our newfound relationship, and with the shitty day I had, it only added to my near brain meltdown. Above all, I was trying hard not to let the worry and fear creep up on me. I knew I was lucky to have someone as amazing as Edward, but I couldn't help wondering if we really would be able to find a way to make things work.

Our airport talk had helped ease my mind, and he assured me that we would take things slow, but the distance at this moment seemed so vast, that all I could do was pray Edward was right.

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**AN: This chapter is brought to by the Sugar Ray's **_**Falls Apart**_** and Durex condoms – No Glove No Love BB's!**

**www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=hSIxDyhChWc&feature=related**

**www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=cf6Plen9cL4**

**Dreamward not having to wrap it up is so much better than reviews…**


	10. Fly Away

**Stephanie owns the Twilight characters, we just dress them up in furry blue costumes…**

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**Chapter 10 - Fly Away**

**(EPOV)**

_Silk, mahogany, gardenias, chocolate, lips….Bella__. _

Twisted in my alarmingly sweaty sheets, I rolled over to squint at the nightstand and found the red glare of my alarm clock.

_4:38 am is that too early to call Bella? It's actually 5:38 a.m. there…I wonder if she's up yet. She may not be up yet, but I see something else that is. Well, helloooo El Capitan._

I threw the pillow I had been clutching across the room, and grabbed my glasses off the nightstand, and made my way into the bathroom for a shower. I debated for a minute if I should try to get some relief and play a little five-on-one, or just suck it up and take a cold shower, I opted for the latter. With my hands on the cool marble of the vanity, I looked around the room and imagined what it would be like to have Bella in my home with me, in my shower, in my bed.

_COLD SHOWER ASSHOLE, REMEMBER?! Keep going at this rate and you will need a fucking ice bath!_

Fearing hypothermia and the loss of my favorite appendage, I took the quickest shower possible. Even with the frigid water, I still couldn't seem to think straight.

It had been over two weeks since I had had to say goodbye to Bella at the airport. Since then, every morning seemed to start exactly the same way: me waking from the most wonderful and torturous dreams of Bella, which would require an immediate fist pump or cold shower.

Since returning home I had started using so much water I was afraid I might be partially to blame for all the rivers drying up. Completely frustrated with my inability to think straight, I decided to go for a run, while internally chastising myself for the excessive water consumption of what would likely be _two_ morning showers.

I made my way over to Wicker Park a little after 5 a.m., hoping a run would help me clear my mind. As I stretched by a park bench to loosen my stiff muscles, I kept replaying last night's conversation with Bella over and over again. She sounded so broken and tired, it made me ache in a way I didn't know possible.

What had made me even more sick was my own selfishness. I was actually elated when she'd confessed she'd not only needed to hear my voice, but also needed _me_. I wanted to make it better for her. I wanted to hop on the red eye to Miami and be waiting at her doorstep with coffee and doughnuts in the morning, but this was Bella and I had waited almost 12 years for her. I could wait a little longer. I just had to keep reminding myself that _she_ asked me to take it slow.

I decided if I couldn't be there, I wanted to send her something to lift her spirits. I knew I didn't want to get her a bouquet of flowers that would die in a few days, so instead I decided to send a miniature gardenia plant. I didn't know how romantic it was to send the woman of your dreams a plant, but it was perfect for her. The white velvety petal of the flower reminded me of Bella's soft creamy skin, of course the scent of the flower didn't match Bella's intoxicating aroma but it still reminded me of her.

For the past two weeks I had used all of the self-restraint I could manage, and allowed Bella to lead, keeping my promise not to rush things. It was all so exhausting, I was even having a hard time concentrating at work, which was completely out of character for me. Usually, I was able to handle a million things at once, but since I'd gotten home I'd found myself forgetting what I was doing. Just yesterday my assistant, Jane, actually asked me if I was feeling okay. I had no idea what to tell her, because I was anything but okay. I was exactly 1,384 miles away from being okay.

As I made my way around the park for the fourth time, I could feel the burning in my lungs and welcomed the heaviness in my legs. Finally, pushing myself to exhaustion, I was able to think clearly. Glancing at my watch I realized Bella would be on her way to get her morning coffee. I had gotten Jasper to find out when Bella usually had a free moment in her day -- I didn't want to call her when she was busy -- and thanks to her caffeine addiction that was between 7:30 a.m. to 8:00 a.m. every morning.

I grabbed my phone out of my pocket as I made my way back home. I knew it was only 7:28 in Miami, but I couldn't wait another second to hear her voice.

"Yeah, hold on," she said as I heard some rustling on the other end of the phone.

"_Iced cinnamon dolce latte for Bella_!"

"Edward, sorry I was just getting something on the way into the office," She finally answered.

"Not a problem, I just wanted to see if you were feeling any better this morning," I asked, and realized I was still breathing a little heavily from my run.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that last night…..hey you sound a little funny are _you_ ok?"

"Actually I just finished running, I thought I'd try to catch you before I got ready for work," I answered as I opened my front door.

"You sound…_sweaty_," Bella half whispered, her voice dropping with the last word.

Three tiny words, just four little syllables from Bella's mouth, and my He-Man Sword sprang right back to life.

_Don't fool yourself buddy…ever since you've gotten home you've been walking around at half mast!_

I am not sure if it was from the lack of blood in the rest of my body, or the fact that I was constantly fantasizing about Bella, but I blurted out the first thing that came to my mind.

"I am sweaty, actually. I've been working very hard on increasing my stamina these past few weeks."

_Fuck, what are you a 13-year-old boy? She is probably completely disgusted by you right now. Why don't you stick your size twelve a little further in your mouth dipshit!_

"Well, Edward, speaking from first-hand experience I can attest to the fact there is nothing wrong with your…...stamina," Bella purred on the other end of the phone.

_Okay, I stand corrected, carry on._

"I'm glad you feel that way Ms. Swan, I would love to have you review my _performance_ again at your earliest convenience."

"Edward…" she groaned. "Are you trying to kill me? I am not sure if you are aware of this or not, but Miami has some of the worst drivers in the world!"

I couldn't help laughing at her frustration, she sounded so cute.

"Oh so you think this is funny Edward? First you torture me in my dreams and now you almost make me wreck my car?"

"Bella, turnabout is fair play. You, my dear, have been torturing me in my dreams for years."

Just like that the mood of the conversation had changed, and you could almost feel the energy between us, even separated by the distance. Now it was my turn to ask if I could call her this evening.

"I know you're really busy, but do you think it would be alright if I call you tonight?"

Before I could get the entire question out of my mouth she'd already agreed.

"I'll call you around 9 p.m. Bella. I hope you have a better day today than yesterday."

"It already is. Bye Edward."

"Goodbye, Bella."

With the knowledge that I'd get to talk to Bella again today, I threw myself into work as much as I possibly could. The research and development department had sent me their findings on a new biotech prosthetic leg we are working on, so I had plenty to keep me busy. I had been very excited to get into this field of work. Even though I knew I had a head for business, I'd wanted to be involved in something other than making millions of dollars for already rich men. Having seen Carlisle's love of medicine, and how he really impacted peoples' lives, I'd jumped at the offer to be the Global Strategic Marketing Director at Martin Bionics.

By lunchtime all of my concentration was out the window. I hadn't received a call, text, or even an email from Bella about the gardenias. What if she felt I was being too pushy, or hated them?

_Seriously, you dumb fuck, a PLANT?! That's the kind of shit you give to your grandma when you visit her at the old folks home._

I grabbed a quick lunch from the deli down the street and took it back to my office to eat at my desk. After staring at the same e-mail for ten minutes, all I could think to write was '_Bella has pretty lips,_' so I decided it was a lost cause.

I took the photo of Bella and I in the photo booth from my wallet. I felt a rush of emotion, remembering her pressed up against me so tightly in that small space. She looked so carefree and happy with the most genuine smile on her face. It was a smile that sadly, I had not seen enough when we were in high school.

It wasn't that Bella was an unhappy person -- most of the people around her never would have noticed anything was off -- but there was always a sadness there that she didn't like to talk about.

As much as she'd hated to leave her mother in Phoenix, Bella hated the reason she'd decided to leave even more. She had confided in me once that in 16 years she and Renee had moved 23 times. She'd never felt safe or secure, or like she'd belonged anywhere. She had watched her mother move from man to man, never making a living for herself, and always depended on them to take care of her and Bella. She'd never really made any friends, or set roots down anywhere, because she always knew that she would just be moving on again in a few months. Bella didn't feel like she had a home.

Her decision to move to Forks and live with Charlie had actually come after Renee's boyfriend at the time, cleaned out the little savings that she had and skipped town. Instead of trying to go out and find a job, Renee had just called around to old boyfriends to find out which ones were currently single. Bella had to be the parent and worry about money to pay bills or where she and Renee were going to live. Finally she'd had enough of the instability and constant worry and called Charlie. She was on a plane to Forks two days later.

I know that Bella isn't her mother, and I am not like any of those men who would prey on weak women like Renee -- and I am sure Bella knows this too -- but I needed to take this slowly until she not only knew it, but also believed it.

"_Mr. Cullen, your 2:30 conference call is holding on line 3_," Jane's voice buzzed through the intercom.

I was so startled, being completely lost in my thoughts of Bella, that I knocked my drink over and onto to my keyboard.

"Shit," I seethed.

Jane came running in with paper towels and a rag for me. She was nothing if not efficient; she seemed to anticipate my next move so well you would think she was inside my head at times.

I cleaned up the mess I'd made, and finished with my conference call as quickly as I could. I only allowed myself to check my cell for a message, text or e-mail ten times during the span of the 45-minute call.

Right as I was about to call FTD to track the delivery, I heard my phone vibrate. I snatched it up and saw Bella's text:

_Thank you! It's beautiful and smells lovely. Glad you didn't send something that will die in 2 days. I Love it!_

I let out my breath in a sigh of relief, and texted her back exactly what I was thinking when I ordered them:

_They remind me of home. They remind me of you._

I was able to make it through the rest of my day with little incident. I even stayed late to finish up all the work that had seemed to be piling up on me.

I called in an order to Crust for a Basilico pizza, and picked it up on the way home. By the time I had managed to polish off the entire pizza and two beers, it was 7:45 p.m. --meaning it was 8:45 in Miami, and I only had to wait 15 minutes to call Bella.

After I put away my dishes, I grabbed my phone and went into the bedroom. I knew it was ridiculous, but I just enjoyed the thought of talking to Bella in my bed.

_Fuck Cullen, did you just start your period, you puss?_

By 7:53 I couldn't wait anymore, and I decided to call her.

"What took you so long?"she answered immediately.

"Bella?"

"Of course it's me! I've been waiting 10 minutes for you to call me," she huffed into the phone a little.

I quickly glanced at the clock to confirm it wasn't even 8 p.m.

"I'm sorry, I thought I'd told you I would call you around 9 tonight."

"No, you did. I have just been trying to will you to call me with my mind for the past 10 minutes because I missed hearing your voice and I wanted to thank you properly for the present."

"I'm glad you liked it. I was a little worried about getting you a plant, but I wanted you to enjoy it for a very long time," I said, hoping she picked up on the full meaning of my statement.

"No, it was perfect, really," she insisted.

"How are all of the preparations coming for the fashion show?" I asked.

"Ughhh, don't get me started! Some imbecile over at the Viceroy almost double-booked the room! I swear, if I don't stay on top of them with every little detail we won't be having a show at all," Bella replied, and I could hear the tension starting to edge it's way in.

"I'm sorry Bella. If there is anything you need, just let me know."

"Thanks, I'm just frustrated," she said her voice returning to normal.

"I know getting everything ready for the show is frustrating, but you're going to do a great job I'm sure."

"That's not actually what I was talking about Edward."

_You stupid dipshit, of course she isn't frustrated about work! She's frustrated with you calling her all the time and sending her shit!_

"What is it then?" I asked warily, fearing her answer.

I heard her let out an exasperated sigh. "Do I really have to say it?"

"Say what Bella?"

"Shit….I'm_ sexually_ frustrated Edward," she squeaked out and I could hear what sounded like a pillow covering her mouth while she spoke.

If there were pillows, then there was a good chance she was in her bedroom.

"Bella are you covering your face with a pillow?"

"Yesh," I heard from the other end of the phone, only she sounded like she was underwater.

"So, if you have a pillow over your face, does that mean you're in your bedroom now?"

I could hear her move the pillow off of her face. "Maybe," she said in a singsong voice and I could hear her smile returning.

"I would love to ease your frustration in any way possible. Is there something I could do that would help?" I asked, my voice growing huskier with each word.

"Edward, please don't ask what I'm wearing," she groaned.

"I wasn't going to. It isn't what you are wearing that concerns me, it's what you have underneath that I am most interested in at the moment."

I heard Bella take a ragged breath on the other end of the phone. She hadn't told me to go to hell yet, so I decided to see how far she was willing to take this.

"Bella, I keep replaying all the times we were together over and over again in my head. The way you tasted on my lips, the way you felt in my hands, and the way it felt when I was inside of you."

I heard her let out a small moan, and of it's own accord, my free hand went directly down to the button on my pants, trying to remove them while still holding the phone.

"I remember the way you looked laying on the table…the way you tasted in my mouth. I wish I could taste you right now Bella."

Her breathing began to accelerate, and I could hear some movement on the other end.

"Would you touch yourself for me Bella?"

"Only you if you will too," she answered her voice thick with lust.

I successfully removed my pants and positioned myself back to a reclining position. I moved my hand under the waistband of my boxer briefs, the grey fabric pulled taut against my growing erection. I released my cock from it's confines, hissing slightly at the sensation.

"Oh you motherfucking _piece of shit_," I heard Bella growl from the other end of the phone.

"What's wrong? Are you ok," I asked, my body lurching up until I was once again in an upright position.

"No, I'm fine, it's just my stupid iPhone is about to die. We've been having trouble with our internet at work, so I've been using it to check e-mails today, and I guess I left the charger in my office," Bella whined slightly.

"Well that's okay. I'll just call you back on your house phone."

"No, Alice canceled our house phone last month, something about how we don't use it and being robbed blind."

I was having trouble thinking at this point, but like a light from heaven, five little letters popped into my head.

"Skype," I asked trying to keep my voice even and not allow the panic to be audible.

"YES! I have to use it for work all the time, but the video isn't set up."

"We don't need video," I replied clenching my jaw from my almost painful erection.

I gave her my username, and grabbed my computer bag from next to the bed. I was sure that normally my Macbook booted up very quickly, but at the moment it was taking it's sweet-ass time, almost like it was mocking me.

_Fuck you Steve Jobs and your ugly ass turtlenecks._

Finally, after what seemed like 30 minutes, but was only really 4, I was logged into my Skype account and waited for Bella's name to pop up.

I saw "HellsBells" pop up under online contacts, and I clicked the call icon as fast as I could. The usually annoying robotic sound was suddenly music to my ears.

"Hello? Can you hear me Edward?"

"Yes, perfectly," I answered.

At this point I was a bit unsure of what to do next. I didn't know if I should just pick up where we left off, or if we might need to ease back into it.

Luckily, Bella answered the question for me.

"Where were we?" she asked, her tone still deep and her breathing a bit labored.

"I believe you were about to touch yourself Bella," I answered trying to make my voice as seductive as I could.

"Edward, please tell me what you want to do to me. All I can think about are your hands on my body. Tell me what to do…please…" she pleaded.

"God, Bella, you're so fucking sexy. I wish I could see your face right now. I want to kiss your lips, feel them up against mine. I would kiss you along your jaw and down your neck, enjoying the sweet skin at your collarbone. Take your fingers and run them over your neck, down your collarbone, then lower over your chest. Imagine my mouth on your breast kissing you softly. Move your hand lower Bella, trace the outline of your breast for me."

Bella answered my requests with small moans and beautiful humming sounds. Silently thanking the inventor of Skype, and the ability to have both hands free, I moved one hand back down to touch myself while throwing the other arm over my eyes so I could concentrate on every word and sound coming from Bella.

"Now take your other hand and slowly move it across your stomach, caressing the skin. Imagine my lips and tongue brushing against you. Bella are you still wearing your panties?"

I waited for Bella to answer me, but after a few moments with no answer, I removed my arm from over my eyes and looked over at my laptop to see a skype chat box opened from Bella.

_HellsBells- Edward I got disconnected._

_Hellsbells- It's not letting me call you back_

_HellsBells- Helllllllooooooo_

_HellsBells- You better not be finishing without me!!!_

I quickly flipped to my side allowing me access to type.

_EC-3PO- Let me hang up and try to call you back._

_EC-3PO- BTW DEFINITELY NOT FINISHING WITHOUT YOU!_

The call still showed as connected, so I disconnected and called Bella back.

"God Damnit Edward this is killing me," she responded in a tight frustrated voice from her end.

"Me too Bella. Please I want to help you feel better. Put one hand back on your breast and move the other hand down under your panties. Are you wet for me Bella?"

"Yes, I am so wet all I can think about is how you feel inside of me. Are you touching yourself and thinking about feeling me all around you?"

"Bella you have no fucking idea what you do to me. Please caress yourself for me. Imagine I have my mouth on you, and my tongue is making teasing circles all around."

She let out a loud moan, which caused me to pump faster, gliding my hand over the shaft faster now imagining myself buried in Bella's wetness.

"Do you like that Bella? Does that feel good?" I asked, breathing erratically as I continued to stroke myself.

"Bella I want to come with you. Please tell me when you're close."

I waited for an answer but instead heard the unmistakable sound of the Skype chat ping.

_HellsBells- JHFHGDTGFDJYIUYFJFSHDAHTJYDFLUIG_

_HellsBells- Fucking piece of shit technology!!_

_HellsBells- We should call it a night before there is a killing spree here in Miami. _

_EC-3PO- I wish you were here I miss you._

_HellsBells- I miss you too._

_HellsBells- Think of me…later._

_EC-3PO- I ALWAYS do._

_HellsBells- Goodnight Edward._

_EC-3PO- Goodnight Beautiful._

Ready to explode from all of the build up, I crawled out of bed to take my third fucking shower of the day so I could beat the captain into submission. Hopefully with some relief I might be able to get some sleep tonight_._

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The following two weeks were even worse than the previous two had been. Bella was so busy we didn't have time to talk as much as I would have liked. After our failed phone and Skype-sex, we'd kept our racier thoughts to e-mails or texts here or there.

I found myself dissecting every detail about the three days we'd spent together in Forks. The way she'd looked at me the first time in the gym, it had seemed she was pleased, but also like she was trying to figure something out.

The way she kept talking about my glasses just baffled me. I hated them, and every time I wore them I felt like the geeky kid from high school again. I couldn't understand why Bella would want to see me in them. Wouldn't it just remind her of who I used to be? I obsessed on all of these points, over and over again, and the same thought kept coming to mind.

_Maybe she had liked me in high school too! Charlie had pretty much told me that Bella had feelings for me in high school, but that doesn't mean it was actually true. _

Her words from our conversation at the airport kept ringing in my ears, "_I didn't know how to go out and get what I wanted. I settled for what was easy_."

_Could I have been what she'd wanted all along?_

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On my way into work on Monday morning, I got a text message from Jasper letting me know he'd just gotten back from New York, and to meet him for a drink after work over at the Double Door. I had to admit I was jealous he'd gotten to be on Sesame Street. If he got to meet Count Von Count I was going to punch that lucky bastard right in the junk.

By 6:30 p.m. I was already sitting in a booth with my Jack and coke, waiting for Jasper down in the Dirtroom. I usually liked to sit upstairs and listen to whatever band they had playing. Tonight, though, I wanted to find out about his trip to South Carolina and his meeting with the documentary people in California, but especially his adventures down Sesame Street. Maybe he'd finally gotten the dirt on whether Bert and Ernie are life-partners.

As usual Jasper showed up 20 minutes late with the goofiest grin on his face. He ordered a John Daly from our waitress, Katie, and I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"What, don't look at me like that, all those Sons of the Confederate Veterans guys drink them."

"Whatever, why were you late? Not that you usually have a reason."

"Hey fucktard take it easy. I was talking to Alice. She's really stressed out about their fall line and she needed to vent."

Feeling a little bit of jealousy rising in me that Jasper was able to talk to Alice and she actually shared what was going on.

"So does she call you a lot, or is this the time of day you guys usually talk?" I asked trying to be nonchalant.

_Damn Cullen! Why don't you just ask him if you can braid his hair too?! Look at you sitting around trying to talk to him about your pseudo girlfriend._

"Fuck no she doesn't call me a lot. She has a ton of shit going on, you idiot. I call her just to check up on her, see how things are, and try to get her mind off all the craziness if I can," Jasper answered while shaking his head a little at me.

"Wait--don't tell me you _only _call Bella once a day," he sneered at me looking a little disgusted.

"Well, yeah, I don't want to bother her, and she seems so busy. I didn't want to add to all of her stress by pestering her with my calls."

"Seriously? For a smart guy you are one of the dumbest motherfuckers I have ever met! You know, Alice told me the only time in the day she sees Bella smile is in the morning when she comes into the office after she's talked to you."

"But she told me she's really busy and doesn't have the time right now. I'm taking all this shit slow like she asked."

"Look, Bella isn't the type of girl that is going to come to you and ask you for help. You know she feels she has to be independent about everything, but she _needs_ you Edward. You should have seen how sad she looked when I was there."

"Yeah, but she asked me not to rush anything. I've waited for her this long. If I have to I can wait longer."

"There's something to be said for waiting, and then there's something to be said about just being fucking _stupid_. You, brother, are bordering on the moronic. I'm not saying attach yourself to her like a Siamese twin. It's been six weeks since we left Forks, aren't you dying to see her?"

"Of course I am! Don't ask dumbass questions!"

"Then do something about it! I believe this is what some might call your 'shit-or-get-off-the-pot' moment."

I looked over at Jasper as he leaned back in his chair, almost as if he was challenging me, while he crossed his arms over his chest.

I reached into my pocket and retrieved my cell phone, looking back up to see Jasper with a shit-eating grin on his face while he chewed on the miniature purple sword in his mouth.

"Jane, I'm really sorry to be calling so late, but I need you to clear my schedule and book me a flight to Miami please."

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**AN – Skype Sex is brought to you by Lenny Kravitz's **_**Fly Away**_** and, of course, the fantabulous inventor of **_**Skype,**_** without which we would not be able to chat for 8 hours straight to bring you the fucktastic adventures of Geekward and Bella.**

**Many thanks to Jenny (**_**Imdominating**_**) for being the best tour guide around Chicago a girl could ask for!  
**

**If anyone is curious about Jasper's drink here is a link: http://www(dot)crazyfortea(dot)com/sweetteavodka(dot)html**


	11. The Bad Touch

**AN: Please take a moment to check out our one shot for the Age of Edward Contest. We are in the second round of voting . Go here to vote starting July 22-29th: http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/1939261/The_Age_of_Edward **

**If you would like to read the story (please do) – we hope you enjoy our take on Medievalward: http://www(dot)fanfiction (dot)net/s/5214400/1/Lover_Ill_Be_Your_Lover_Too**

**As always, it's Stephenie's game, we just make Alice hum with more excitement than a vibrating schlong… **

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**Chapter 11 –The Bad Touch**

**(BPOV)**

_I can get through the show, cocktails, then home. I can make it. When it's over Edward will be waiting for my call and I can finally relax for a few days. It's just a couple of hours, no more bitchy models, no more incompetent crews, no more bitchy models….What the Fuck?_ "Hey! Glamazon!" I yelled.

"Fucking Models." I mumbled as I stalked across the room. "You!" I pointed. "Put the donut down Twiggy! The food is for the stage crew, not the models. If you're hungry go suck down another Camel and fill your pie hole with a non-fat latte."

"But I ran out of cigarettes and they aren't back with my mocha Frappuccino yet," the skinny little bitch whined.

"Use your brains, bum a Satan-stick off of Bree and quit eating all the donuts before you pop the buttons off your dress." I sneered.

"You'd better get your ass to wardrobe if that's powdered sugar on _my_ dress Victoria," Alice said pointedly as she came up behind me. "Quit abusing the help Bells, you know they get sensitive when they're hungry. We can't afford a Naomi Campbell incident."

_Who are you and what have you done with Alice?_

"They're always hungry Alice. Wouldn't you be if you hadn't eaten in five years?" I said as I spun around. "You saw that sugar all over your masterpiece and you didn't give her a beat down? How can you be in such a good mood at a time like this?"

"Jasper just arrived," she said with a grin.

"I've been looking for you for the last 20 minutes. Where have you been? Craig Signer is almost done with his line, then we're up next."

"I _helped_ him to his seat." She said as she put her arm around me. "Relax, everything is going fine Bella."

_It looks like he's the one who _helped_ you. No fair…_

"You'd still be stressed out too if you weren't basking in post-coital bliss." I snarled back. "Not everyone has a boyfriend that can service their needs so frequently. This is exactly why long distance relationships never work."

"Wow, jealous much there Bells? You can't throw the love of your life away just because of a few measly miles. You'll see him soon, I'm sure of it." She winked as she hugged me.

_Did she just wink at me? Yep, that was definitely a wink . What the Fuck? _ _I know she's not trying to rub it in, but she hasn't been sexually starved since the reunion. If I was a guy I would've had a six week stiffie. Not even the toy she helped me pick out had put a big enough dent in my craving for Edward's touch._

* * *

The night of our failed attempt at phone sex I'd decided it was time to take Alice's advice and take matters into my own hands, so to speak. She'd bullied me for years to go toy shopping with her, but I'd always turned her down for various reasons. Artificial stimulation wasn't really my thing, battery powered penis shaped rubber freaked me out on so many levels. It just wasn't natural, but our failed Skype-ographic stimulation left me desperate. I needed sexual release, and my trusty right hand was not enough to get the job done.

Taking care of my own needs had never been a priority, but reconnecting with Edward had brought my libido to a level I had never before attained. Before Edward I could go months without any kind of sexual encounter. However, since the reunion, my body craved him every second of every day.

Desperate times called for desperate measures, and that's how I found myself trying to hide my embarrassment, wishing I could crawl under the "Liberator" display at the _Déjà vu Love Boutique_, or _The Vu_, as Alice liked to call it. This place had seen a lot of Alice's business over the past few years. It was her favorite place to shop for all things _erotic_.

I was highly uncomfortable. I just wanted to get something, anything that could get the job done and go, but Alice's squee of delight at the prospect of helping me shed my sexual repression told me this was going to be _unforgettable_.

"Bella, quit trying to hide. This is important stuff. I'm trying to impart years of knowledge in an afternoon." She huffed.

"Alice can't we just pick one and go, I trust you…wait, no I don't. You might pick out something way beyond my comfort zone." I said.

"Bells, you need to get over this. You're a beautiful 28 year old sexually active woman. Your body has needs, and it's only natural to take care of them on a regular basis. I've told you before that it's not good to hold all that shit in, and regular release will help your mental and physical health as well as your sexual health. The more you _exercise_ your whoo-ha the more intense your orgasms will become." She said as she wiggled her perfectly sculpted eyebrows at me.

_Jesus Jenna Jameson Christ, I can't believe I'm having this conversation in the middle of a porn shop._ _Could she be any louder?_

"Getting my "O" isn't the problem Alice, I just need an easier way to take care of things when Edward isn't around." I whispered, looking around to see if anyone was listening to us. "Now can you help me pick out something useful?"

"No one in here is listening to us." She said loudly as she waved her hands around. "Everybody is here for the same thing. Nobody cares what we're doing."

I shushed her and futilely motioned for her to keep her voice down. _Just give in, the more you protest the longer this will take_.

"Now if your done being paranoid, I was trying to tell you the basic rules to purchasing the right pocket rocket. First you have to keep in mind what specific pleasure you are trying to satisfy. As you can see vibrators come in all sizes, shapes, colors, and materials. We're not going to worry about that yet. I just need to know what type of orgasm you want to have."

"Jesus Alice," I sputtered, "I don't know. I just…need to take the edge off?"

"Sure, that helps. You can't be more specific?" She shot me a glare, and I shook my head not willing to elaborate any further. "Fine, we'll go basic, that means you need something with adjustable speeds. I also recommend battery operated, cords can sometimes be inconvenient.

"Now you need to choose traditional vadge, clitoral, or G Spot vibes. I think I can safely say you're not ready for the double or triple stim vibes, so we'll leave B.O.B. and T.O.M. for another time." She said looking at me a little too innocently considering the conversation we were having.

_She takes too much pleasure in pushing me outside of my comfort zone. If she doesn't knock it off I'm going to shove King Dong somewhere very uncomfortable…_

"What's easiest?" I asked, completely overwhelmed.

"You should probably start out with the thunder vibe or a bullet." She said holding up too packages.

"Which one is easier to hide?" I asked

"Bullets are smaller, but you can get these nifty hide-a-vibe pillows for your Hello Kitty." She chuckled.

"Why does this have to be so fucking hard!" I closed my eyes and reached out to take whatever my hand came in contact with first.

"If they weren't hard then they wouldn't feel good," Alice quipped. "Thunder Vibe. Good choice, it's waterproof and look it even sparkles!"

"Uh, fine, get me one of those pillow thingys and let's go."

"Not so fast Vibella, we still need to get toy cleaner and some lube." Alice laughed.

"Alice!" I seethed. "You're pushing it. Why do I put up with this shit?"

"Who came to me for help? Besides, I'm your best friend, and if I didn't help you out you'd still be at home contemplating how you were going to survive without Edward's magical peen. At least this way you'll make the kitty happy and I don't have to live with Bella the Grouch!" She countered with her evil pixie logic. "It's a win–win situation. Now, let's get the rest of your necessities so we can go home. I foresee a drastic attitude adjustment by morning."

Alice thrust some bottles and tubes into my hands as we approached the checkout. "Ooooh, look Bella, it's a remote controlled vibrating thong! I've wanted one of these since Rose sent us that link to that fan fiction story. I wonder if Jasp-"

"Alice," I cut her off, "Not another word."

"But-"

"Lalalalalalalala!" I sang and covered my ears.

"Fine, you're such a prude Bella, I'm surprised they let you out the nunnery today." She pouted for a second before sticking her tongue out as she reached for the battery operated thong.

* * *

Alice's rambling finally pulled me back to reality. _What was she saying?_

"Your unwillingness to admit it doesn't mean the rest of us are as blind as you pretend to be." She whispered in my ear before letting me go. "Besides protecting the models from Bitchella, I came to tell you that Marcy needs you. She said there was a problem with the seating arrangements next to the runway and you were the only one that could sort it out."

_Fuck!_ "I guess I'll have to go out there." I said through clenched teeth. "Can you handle things back here without me?"

"I'm sure I can manage a few minutes by myself, _Mom, _I'm only the designer_!_" I heard her call as I made my way to the main floor. _This day just keeps getting better and better. _

So far fashion week had been a success, everything had come together just as Alice and I had hoped. Things had become slightly easier for me to handle once Jasper left our humble abode. Not that I didn't like him, I actually loved the goofy bastard. He and Alice were obviously perfect for each other; a match made in soft-core-porn-heaven. I was happy for them, maybe a little jealous, but who wouldn't be? Not many couples were lucky enough to have the professional freedom they both enjoyed during a long distance relationship.

Edward and I could be counted amongst those not so lucky. Deep down I really wanted to make this work. We were finally getting our second chance at what could have been if we hadn't both pussied out the first time around. I knew deep down he was the one person I could potentially spend my life with, but the cards were stacked against us. As much as the reality of our situation bore down on me, I couldn't help but feel lighter every time I spoke with Edward. I never thought I'd become so dependent upon hearing another person's voice.

The morning after my most disastrous day, Edward had sent me the most beautiful miniature gardenia. I was surprised that after all these years he was perceptive enough to know that I would prefer a plant over a bouquet of flowers that would wither and die in a matter of days. It reminded me of why I was willing to try to put my mommy-issues aside and take a chance with Edward.

When I rounded the corner leading to the reception area I caught sight of my _trusted_ assistant, and returned my thoughts to the job at hand. _Why can't Marcy handle this on her own, this is what we pay her to do._

"What seems to be the problem?" I asked as I walked up to Marcy.

"There seems to be an issue in the V.I.P section. I would have handled it myself, but he specifically asked for you." She smiled as she pointed in the direction of a tall, _bronze haired_ gentleman.

_It couldn't be… I just talked to him this morning…he would have told me if he was coming down._

I slowly started walking forward. It _was_ him. Each step closer brought my body more aware of his presence. I don't think I'd ever seen him look more appealing, and this was just the rear view. His white dress shirt was seamlessly tucked into his black dress pants, accentuating his narrow waist and firm fucking ass. _Delicious._

I bit my lip and continued to ogle the rest of his perfectly displayed body as I approached. I could see his strong shoulders were perfectly molded under his white dress shirt, the sleeves rolled up accentuating the muscles of his forearms.

_God I'm a sucker for forearms, I can't wait to see them flex the next time he – shake it off Bella, there's no sense in getting all worked up when we won't be able to escape for a couple of more hours._

As I closed in, I saw Jasper look over Edward's shoulder and nod in my direction with a grin. He turned and flashed me a dazzling smile and my breath instantly caught…_He wore his glasses._

Correction, if Alice thought he was sex-on-a-stick before, he was positively fuck-a-licious tonight. The combination of his fuck-hot glasses and panty-dropping grin were enough to make my kitty twitch in anticipation.

"You came," I finally breathed, staring into the emerald eyes sparkling from behind his glasses.

"I hope you don't mind," he said in a husky voice as he closed this distance between us, "I know how important this is for you, and I honestly couldn't wait any longer to see you again."

He reached out and took my hand in his, the now familiar spark of electricity arcing across our skin. My heart, which had sped up at the sight of him, threatened to beat out of my chest at his touch. Desire flooded every last inch of my body. _Thank god kitty can't purr…_

"You have no idea how happy I am to see you here." I said, stepping closer. I lifted my hand to his face and leaned up to place a chaste kiss against his lips, lingering only for a moment before I reluctantly pulled away. His eyes slowly opened as I caressed his cheek with my thumb. "How long can you stay?"

"I have to fly out Sunday morning." He said as he placed his hand over mine. "I know you have to get back to work. I just wanted you to know that I was here, and I'll be waiting for you when it's over."

"After the show I have to make an appearance at the after party. Will you come with me?"

"Of course, I'll be your arm candy for the evening." He teased me. "As long as I can have your undivided attention later, I've made some special plans…"

"I don't have to stay long, just long enough to talk to a few contacts, and then I'm all yours." I grinned back at him. I dropped my hand from his face and gave his hand a squeeze as I backed away. "I have to go. The after party is upstairs at Club 50. I'll have Marcy provide you and Jasper with passes so Alice and I can meet you there as soon as we've wrapped everything up down here."

I turned and made my way back towards the staging area, looking back once to see Edward staring after me, his smoldering gaze framed by those damn adorkable glasses. The next few hours were going to be hell knowing that he would only be a few feet away. I don't know what he had planned for us, but I definitely had a few suggestions…

* * *

As soon as humanly possible I led Edward away from the party. Every minute of the after party had been pure torture. Every look, every brush of his body against mine, every intonation of his voice sent delicious tendrils of desire snaking through my body until I thought I'd melt onto the floor. It was all I could do not to pounce on him as we waited for the elevator doors to open.

"May I?" He smirked and captured my hand when I leaned in to push the button for the hotel lobby. I stared at him in confusion as he pushed the button for the 40th floor.

"Where are we going?" I asked tentatively.

"I told you I had special plans, remember?" He said, and drew the hand he still grasped to his lips for a light kiss.

The elevator doors opened and he led me down a hallway before stopping in front of a door.

"I thought you would probably be too stressed to eat today, so I had room service send up a light meal for us." He said as he opened the door and led me into one of the hotel's luxury residencies.

I stopped just inside of the door, and stared, completely speechless. The entire apartment was lit by candles, scattered throughout each room, and the dining room table was adorned with a romantic dinner.

"Are you hungry?" He asked as he molded his arms around me, enveloping me in his warm embrace nuzzling his face into my neck. I wrapped my arms around his and leaned back into him, letting my head fall back against his shoulder with my eyes closed, relishing the feel of his body. "Thank you," I whispered.

"You're welcome," he breathed against my ear.

That one breath was enough to make me forget anything else but my need for the man holding me. I turned in his arms bringing my lips to his in a sensuous kiss belying the urgency my body had been demanding since I first saw him earlier in the evening. I took his upper lip between my own, forming our lips together, as my fingers tangled their way up into his hair.

He moaned lightly into my mouth, as I licked his lip with the tip of my tongue, changing the angle of my mouth to deepen our kiss. His hands lightly caressed my back as we licked and nipped at each other, steadily gaining intensity.

He pulled back slightly, taking a breath before kissing his way to my ear. "You never answered my question," he murmured breathlessly in my ear, "are you hungry?"

"Yes," I responded recapturing his mouth for a moment before continuing, "but not for food. I need you Edward, don't make me wait."

"Oh but you will," he growled, "I've been looking forward to this for too long to rush it. I want to lick and caress every last patch of skin on your luscious little body."

_Oh God…_

"When I feel you tremble beneath my hands, I'm going to fuck you with my tongue until you explode in my mouth, just like I did our first time." He continued as he nipped and sucked at my ear.

His voice was an aphrodisiac stirring my desire into a frenzy, weakening my legs until I could no longer support the weight of my body on my own. He gripped me tighter, pressing his massive bulge against my thigh.

"I will savor every last drop of your sweetness before I finally make love to you with slow..deep…strokes." He hummed against my lips as he punctuated each word with a slight thrust of his hips.

With my remaining strength, I pulled his mouth back to my own and crushed our lips together in a fierce kiss, silently demanding he follow through with the promise of his words.

He matched the intensity of my kiss, never breaking contact, as he lifted me up and carried me into the bedroom, gently laying me down in the middle of the bed.

He marked every inch of my body with his tongue as he slowly peeled off our clothing, leaving my body bare under his gaze and open to the worship of his hands. His movements were slow and sensuous, heightening the sensitivity in every nerve ending until he brought me to the threshold of my release.

My body convulsed around his tongue the moment he entered me, my orgasm so intense I screamed his name. He continued the movements of his tongue until the tremors subsided, and then kissed his way back up my body before slowly embedding himself deep inside me, his movements passionate and gentle.

"My Bella," he moaned into my ear as he repeatedly plunged into me, quickly thrusting and withdrawing himself at an agonizingly slow rate. I captured his lips and imitated the movements of our hips with my tongue, eliciting another low groan, and an increase in his pace.

"Bella, cum with me." He sighed as the tips of his long fingers trailed down to coax my swollen bud to join him in release.

With one final sweet kiss he rolled us onto our sides, our bodies still completely joined. "I will never tire of the way you make me feel, Bella. Every time is like the first."

"I wish I could find the right words to tell you how I really feel, but I feel it too. I do." I whispered back as he ran his hands over my body, claiming every inch as his with each sensual caress. For the first time in my life I felt truly loved, even though neither of us were ready to express it in words.

* * *

I woke the next morning with a gratifying ache in my entire body, a smile came to my lips remembering why my legs still felt like jelly. Edward was lying on his back with his arm around my shoulders, holding me to his chest. It seemed like that nook was tailor made for me. I moved the hand that had been resting on Edward's chest down his stomach and gently stroked the soft patch of hair at his navel, waiting to see if he would wake up. After a quick glance to verify he was indeed still asleep, I moved my hand even lower, skimming over his pubic bone. Finally, my hand wrapped tightly around what I was looking for, Edward's massive morning wood.

_I want to lick it like a popsicle…Holy shit, Bella. Where in the hell did that come from? You're starting to lose it!_

After a few firm strokes, I figured Edward was either still asleep, or deserved an Oscar for pretending to be. I ducked my head under the sheet as quickly as I could, hoping for a surprise attack, and wasted no time taking him quickly and fully into my mouth.

"Oh Fuck," Edward moaned, as his hand found its way into my hair.

I worked him quickly, enjoying the response I was getting, by way of moans and filthy cursing. Hearing Edward talk like that was so much of a turn on for me, that I began sucking harder as he matched my speed with the thrust of his hips. I knew he was right on the edge, and I wanted him to have this, without worrying that he was still in my mouth. On my last thrust I pulled him almost completely out of my mouth while circling my tongue around the head of his cock before quickly enveloping him again fully with my mouth. I felt his body tighten, and I gripped his hips securely holding him in place and willing him to enjoy every last second of his release.

I crawled back up to Edward, and situated myself back into my nook, while he stroked my shoulders, and made little humming sounds into my hair.

"Good Morning," I said, as I nuzzled into his chest.

"Bella, if that's your way of saying good morning, I can't wait to see how you say good night."

"Well, if you don't get your ass out of bed, you aren't going to find out," I quipped as I rolled out of the bed while Edward tried to grab at my leg. "Hurry up Edward, I'm starving. I think we forgot to eat that beautiful dinner you had brought up for us."

"No, what I ate was even more delicious," I heard him say as I made my way into the bathroom for a quick shower.

Edward had cleaned up the forgotten food in the dining room while I was in the shower. He must have been just as hungry as I was because he was ready to go in hardly any time at all.

Since Edward could only stay for such a short amount of time, and had never visited Miami before, I felt it was my obligation to share some of my favorite places in the city.

I skipped my usual morning Starbucks visit, and we headed down to one of the best Cuban bakeries around. We'd burned quite a few calories in the past 12 hours, so we could afford to splurge.

I ordered us two _pastelitos de queso,_ and large _café con leches,_ light and sweet. Edward started to find us a seat in the tiny bakery.

"Oh no mister, we only have a little bit of time before you have to leave, we'll be enjoying this somewhere else."

He gave me a sideways look and picked up the box of sugar topped pastries as I led us back to the car. After a long debate, Edward had finally relented and agreed that it would be best for me to drive since he didn't know his way around the city. We drove down the crowded streets of Miami in comfortable silence, our hands resting on the center console, fingers entwined.

As we drove through the gates of Matheson-Hammock Park, I enjoyed watching Edward take in the sight of one of my favorite spots. We passed by the lush mangroves, and came to the clearing that had a spectacular view of Biscayne Bay. We parked, gathered all of the goodies, and made our way over to the white sandy beach. There were beautiful coral benches that faced out towards the bay, even though it was September the ocean breeze made it almost tolerable.

"Look," I said in the most serious voice I could muster, while I lifted the little slice of heaven out of the box and handed it to the beautiful man sitting next to me. "This will change your life. Once you've had a bite of this you will never be the same…you've been warned."

I watched as he took a bite, and I thoroughly enjoyed the little murmurs he made about his breakfast.

Grabbing mine from the box I began to eat it well, the flaky sugar crusted pastry falling down the front of my top.

_Note to self Bella, crumbs all over yourself - not sexy. _

I tried to brush the errant pieces from the front of my tank top, and started giggling. I looked over at Edward, sitting as still as a statue, and immediately stopped. His eyes were dark jade, and he was staring at me with such intensity it caused me to take a survey of the situation. After looking down, I realized my choice of breakfast treats did have a rather phallic shape, and I may or may not have been moaning slightly while eating it.

Edward closed the gap between us on the bench and reached over to brush a few of the crumbs away from my mouth with tip of his long, elegantly sculpted fingers.

"You didn't tell me they were so messy Bella."

Before I knew what was happening Edward had replaced his fingers with his lips, kissing at the sugar at the side of my mouth. His lips were feather light against my skin while he placed soft kisses around my mouth. I felt his mouth part slightly as he sucked my lower lip between his, removing any trace of the confection.

He released my lip and returned to his food, with a slight smirk playing at the corners of his lips.

"So, what else do you have to show me today my Bella?"

Once my heartbeat had returned to the normal range, we made our way to Lincoln Road. There were some amazing art galleries I wanted to share with him. We spent hours wandering around, looking mostly at brightly colored art, and enjoying every second of each other's company. It was six o'clock before we knew it, and our day had slipped away. I was so amazed at how easy we were together, as if it hadn't been six weeks since we had last seen each other.

* * *

I turned on the shower and waited for the water to heat up.

To say I was surprised to see Edward Friday night is an understatement. Usually I hated surprises, I preferred to be in control. This time I didn't mind, at all. He'd had everything planned out, down to having Alice pack a bag for me. Aside from the reunion, this had been the best weekend of my life. I didn't want it to end, but knew that for the time being neither one of us had a choice. Edward was leaving today.

As I washed my hair and contemplated the complexity of our situation I heard Edward come into the bathroom.

"Bella, do you mind if I shave?" He asked.

"No, go ahead. I'm almost done." I answered, rinsing the last traces of conditioner from my hair. I turned the water off and reached for my towel, drying off before stepping out of the shower.

I looked over and appreciatively watched as he stood there, wearing only a pair of his cotton pee-paw pajama pants, the muscles of his bare back flexing as he carefully shaved.

I will never get tired of looking at that perfect fucking ass. It would be a crime to waste an opportunity to do the dirty before he leaves. God knows how long it will be before we see each other again…

He glanced up and smiled as he saw me approach, before turning his attention back to his task. I let the towel drop and pressed my breasts up against his bare back, as I slid my hands over his abs and up to his muscled chest, just barely grazing his nipples with my palms.

I looked over his shoulder into the mirror and watched his eyes grow dark at the sensation of my bare chest pressed into his back. "I want to feel you one more time before you have to leave." I pleaded.

He dropped his razor, quickly spun me around and lifted me onto the marble counter. His mouth fastened onto mine in a violent kiss as he nestled himself between my knees.

I tried to break away for a moment to tell him that I was sitting on something, but he pulled my mouth back to his and thrust his tongue between my lips, erasing any thought I'd had.

He bent his head and kissed down to my breasts, leaving a trail of shaving cream wherever his cheeks touched my skin. I scraped my nails down his back to the waistband of his pants and pushed them down over his hips, freeing his cock to brush against my kitty with every movement of our bodies.

Edward groaned at the contact and I raked my fingers back up his body, weaving my fingers into his hair so I could take his lips again. "I want you, Edward." I breathed into his mouth, "Fuck me. Now."

"Oh God, Bella." He moaned. His hands moved down my body and gripped my hips pulling me closer to the edge of the counter top. He leaned over me, gripping my ass with one hand and supporting my back with the other, simultaneously impaling me with his tongue and his beautiful fucking dick. The intensity of my feelings quickly overwhelmed me with every thrust of his hips.

_This was not going to last long._ "Ungh, Edward, so close…" I whispered in between kisses.

"Open your eyes Bella, I want you to look at me when I make you cum."

I looked at him between my half-lowered lids and gave myself over to the heat. I could feel my body contract around him. His darkened eyes clouded over and he pulled my body up adjusting his angle of penetration and hummed into my mouth as he came.

He held me close until our breathing returned to normal and pulled back slightly as he withdrew. He brushed my hair back behind my ear and chuckled as he took in the mess his shaving cream had left on our bodies. "We'd better get back in the shower if we're going to make it to breakfast with Jasper and Alice before my flight."

I sighed in agreement and hopped down off the counter.

_Why does my ass hurt?_ I rubbed my ass cheek and looked in horror at the counter top.

"Shit!" I yelled. "Fuck! I'm so sorry Edward. I was going to say something, and then your tongue was in my mouth and I completely forgot!"

"What's wrong?" He asked. "What did you forget?"

_I broke your glasses with my butt…_

I looked down and picked up the pieces of his formerly sexy specs. "We fucked on your glasses and broke them." I cried.

"Hey, it's okay. It's not that big of a deal, alright?" He chuckled and wrapped my face in his hands.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said and lightly kissed my lips, "I have a spare pair at home, don't worry about it. I hate to wear them anyway."

"I like you in them, I always have," I sniffled as I wiped away the ridiculous tears on my cheek.

Edward looked at me with the most heart stopping grin on his face and scooped me up in his arms and carried me into the shower to get ready for breakfast.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Jazz, you'll want the big breakfast, you worked up quite an appetite this morning. I bet my big man is hungry!" Alice purred as she stroked the side of Jasper's neck.

"Oh, give me a frigging break Alice! I think I just threw up in my mouth a little" I groaned while sealing my eyes shut to block out the image of the little nympho all but dry humping Jasper.

"Oh, come on Bella, don't act like you're so uptight! Alice told me about the trip the two of you took to her favorite little t---"

"Jasper, if I were you I'd stop right there! If you say one more thing I think I might change my order to PEANUT butter pancakes!" I spoke calmly while challenging Jasper with my eyes. He must have been loved up a little too much last night and wasn't catching what I was trying to say because he gave me the same look a dog does when he hears a high pitched noise.

"How a peanut can go on to lead an army!" I huffed rolling my eyes at Jasper.

"You no good sorry son of a bitch!" Jasper seethed, turning his full attention to Edward. "You TOLD her about that?"

"I don't have a fucking clue what you guys are talking about. If either of you are willing to explain, maybe I could answer your question." Edward answered, looking thoroughly confused.

"NO!" Jasper and I both shouted at the same time.

"Ummm, I don't know what the hell just happened but trust me when I tell you I will find out." Alice said in the sweetest voice.

_Amazing she sounds like an angel when she is the most devious little creature known to man!_

After a few minutes of inquisitive stares from one person to another we all fell back into an easy rhythm of conversation. I was on my fourth cup of coffee when Jasper cleared his throat.

"Ladies as much as it pains me to say this, Edward and I have to get going if we're going to make our flight."

"Don't go Jazzy!!! I am going to miss the General too much!" Alice whined while crawling her way into Jasper's lap.

"Go ahead and say your goodbyes, Bella and I are going to go ahead and walk outside," Edward said as he helped me out of the booth. Turning back to the couple currently groping one another he reminded, "Just remember you ARE in public." Jasper replied with a one finger salute.

We made our way out of the restaurant and walked over to Edward's rental car.

Taking his hand in mind I kissed each fingertip and placed his palm on my cheek.

"I just want to thank you for coming down here for this Edward, you have no idea how much it means to me. Having you here this weekend was….perfect."

He leaned his head down and rested his forehead against mine while looking directly into my eyes. He moved the hand on my cheek to the back of my head and pulled me in tenderly for a kiss. This kiss was different, it was passionate and sweet, but it also seemed to say all the things we couldn't say aloud. We let the kiss speak for us, where our courage had failed us.

Edward broke away first, stepping back a little while he rubbed his nose against mine causing me to laugh. I knew he could tell I was about to cry and the fact that he was trying to ease my sadness about him leaving made me want to cling to him even tighter.

"You'll call me as soon as you land, right?"

"Of course I will. I'm going to miss you my Bella."

Jasper came galloping up to the car like a horse, while Alice was perched up on his back pretending to twirl a lasso over her head. We burst into giggles at the sight of Jasper the human stallion.

I walked Edward over to the driver's side, knowing I looked a little like a pouting child.

"I'm going to miss you too." I whispered into his ear as he hugged me tightly to his perfect body.

I reluctantly released him and gave him one more kiss before allowing him entrance into the car. Alice tugged at my hand as they pulled out of the parking lot, trying to get me to come back in with her.

"Come on Blue Bella, let's see how many frequent flyer miles we have."

* * *

**AN: This chapter is brought to you by the Bloodhound Gang – _The Bad Touch_ and the makers of _King Dong_ (For those 18 and over the link for _King Dong_ will be posted at the Naughty Sparkle Forum on the Reunion thread….the link is on our profile) **

**Special thanks to Heels – you are my smut thesaurus – we love you BB!**

**Also thanks and love to Meg and Trin, my besties and the best co-authors in the world, without whom half of this chapter would still not be written. I definitely couldn't crank this shit out without your help, naughty little minds, and patience. Thank you for putting up with my shit and LML posting! **

**Also a big thanks to all the readers for patiently waiting for this update. It's very important for us to deliver on time every week. We always post on Friday, and we barely made the deadline this week…thank my bitchy boss, my three boys, and Harry Potter for taking up so much of my time…**

**Fic Rec - for those of you who haven't read it yet, _Subject: Edward Cullen, AKA The Womanizer_ by ericastwilight, run and do not stop...this fic has a fabulous scene with remote controlled vibrating panties....**

**Reviews are great, but I'd rather break a pair of glasses doing the dirty with Robward....**


	12. Saturday Night

**AN: Another shameless pimping of our one shot for the Age of Edward Contest. We are in the second round of voting, which is in progress . Voting is open until July 29th: http://www . fanfiction . net/u/1939261/The_Age_of_Edward **

**Please read the story – we hope you enjoy our take on Medievalward: http://www . fanfiction . net/s/5214400/1/Lover_Ill_Be_Your_Lover_Too**

**We'd also like to thank all the readers who nominated Reunion and voted for us in the Shimmer Awards - it's definitely a _rememborable_ experience!  
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**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight – AngryBadgerGirl is WIN – Sadly all we own is the little green monster laughing at us as all the lovely TwiFic ladies Rob it up at Comic Con…**

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**Chapter 12 – Saturday Night**

**(BPOV)**

"Okay, so we have the tickets, the bags, the carry-ons…what else?" I asked Alice, as I eyed her obnoxious pile of luggage, and tapped my foot impatiently.

"Oh, and the garment bag. We can't forget _that. _That one is _crucial,_" Alice said seriously, grabbing the garment bag and carefully moving it to the ginormous pile on the airport cart.

"Alice, _really_? Are the wings necessary_?_" I sneered, as I pushed the tip of a sparkly, silver wing back into the bag and secured the zipper.

"Bella, I have dressed up for every Halloween since I was, like, a fetus. So, I love you, but if you don't mind, shut the fuck up, and try to have better attitude. This whole thing was your idea!" She snapped as she pulled her purse from the car and slammed the door.

She was right, but I wasn't going to argue that point. I had been counting the days, and this weekend wouldn't come fast enough. There were thirty-five big black X's on my calendar at home, marking the days until our trip, and they had been mocking me until it had finally been time to leave for the airport. I was on edge, and the anxiousness was making it hard to think straight. I would be at Edward's door in less than twelve hours, and the wait was _killing_ me.

"Yes, my idea, but _my_ 'costume' fits in my suitcase, and yours requires an extra bag, which means a fifty dollar bag check fee, and one more thing to haul around, and—"

"Zip, zip, zip that lip, Bella. I've had enough," she said, cutting me off. "You are totally going to kill my excitement if you don't stop with the old fart, worry-wart routine. We just had our most successful season yet, and I think we can afford it…Scrooge."

After the weekend of the fashion show, I knew I wouldn't be able to wait long to see Edward again, but between business travel for his company, and Alice and I trying to scramble to fill orders from the sales at the show, it had been a long month to wait. When I was planning the trip, it seemed serendipitous that the only weekend when I was free, and Edward was home, happened to fall on Halloween. The gears started turning, and with Alice's help, I hatched a virtually ingenious plan.

Alice, of course, would never pass up an opportunity to party and have a good time, and given the fact that Jasper had such a flexible schedule, he had arranged to be home in Chicago for the weekend as well. It looked like all the stars were going to line up just right, and make my plan a success. As long as Jasper had done his part, and Edward was ready and waiting when I arrived, we would all have a fabulous weekend together.

"Bella, snap out of it. We're running late!" Alice barked at me, bringing me back to reality, and I started to push the massive cart towards the terminal.

* * *

"Bella, seriously, that is the most hideous costume I've ever seen. You look homeless…or like you're mourning the death of grunge or something. Where in the happy fuck did you find those clothes?" Alice asked, as she gave me the critical up and down look she usually reserved for the models before a show.

"When we went to Forks for the reunion, they were in the dresser at my dad's house. These are my old clothes. Give me a break, didn't you dress ridiculously in high school too?" I responded, straightening my threadbare Misfits t-shirt, and pulling the sleeves down on the thermal I wore underneath it.

"No, actually. I went to an all-girls private school, hence the lack of filter now that I'm an adult in the real world. We wore uniforms. It was all that repression, know what I mean?"

"Do you still have any of those uniforms, darlin'?" Jasper asked, as he came up behind Alice, and grabbed her around the waist.

"Jazz, stop! You're gonna bend my wings!" Alice shrieked.

"Sorry, but you just look too damn cute in that getup. I can't resist," he said, while nuzzling her neck and eliciting giggles from her. Even I had to admit that Alice looked adorable in her little silver fairy costume, glittery face-paint and all, and Jazz was rocking the whole Confederate Soldier thing. She really had gone all out. My "costume" required minimal effort, but I hoped the concept would have a big impact.

"Oh for shit's sake you two, can't it wait? Jasper, please tell me you told him what I said to tell him. This won't work if you didn't tell him _exactly_," I insisted.

"First off you're in _my _apartment, so I think I am well within my rights to do as I please with this pretty pixie," he said, garnering more giggles from Alice. "Second, I am in no mood to have your angry, sex-deprived ass staying here and killing my game. Relax, Bella. He'll be at his apartment at six-thirty on the dot, and he'll be in the clothes you wanted, but I still don't get it. Why not just tell him you're coming? Why all the subterfuge and secrecy?" Jasper looked at me quizzically, probably thinking I was crazy for all I had asked him to do.

"Because, if he knew I was coming, it wouldn't be a _surprise._ The surprise is half the fun. He'll be sitting at his desk, patiently waiting for me to log on so we can Skype, and I'll be ringing his doorbell. It's perfect," I answered, suddenly giddy at the thought of surprising Edward.

"But why did I have to tell him? Why not just tell him yourself?" Jasper asked, pushing the issue.

"He _knows me,_ Jasper. He would have been able to tell right away that something was up. For my peace of mind can you please tell me word-for-word what you told him?" I fidgeted, worried it would all fall apart if Edward didn't do what Jasper told him.

"Ughhh. Fine. I told him two hours ago on the phone, and I said _word-for-word,_ 'Bella and Alice are busy and stuck at work, and so Bella asked Alice to have me relay a message. The message is that Bella has a surprise for you, and in order to get it, you need to be wearing an outfit you would have worn in High school—_glasses are mandatory_—and be in front of the computer at exactly six-thirty for a Skype chat._' _Satisfied, Boss lady?" He huffed.

"Not yet, but if you did your job right, I expect to be in a better mood later," I teased, laughing when Jasper whistled loudly.

"Go easy on him. He's a little pent-up," he joked.

"Not for long!" I called, as I made sure I had all my "props" in hand, and headed out the door.

The drive to Edward's apartment was quiet, and I was swimming around in my own thoughts. Things between us had been good, but there was a tension that I couldn't shake, no matter how many times he reassured me that things would work themselves out. I could tell my feelings towards him had grown stronger, and we had shared many late night phone conversations, filling in the blanks of the ten years we had been apart. I felt closer to him than I ever had, but something was holding me back from just letting go and being with him in the moment. I always held back just a little bit.

_Well, always, except for the times he breaks down all my walls with his lips, and his tongue, and his…_

"This is it. That'll be eight bucks," the cab driver mumbled from the front seat, startling me from my reverie.

I could feel my face getting hot, so I tossed a ten-dollar bill through the little window, and practically leapt from the car.

Edward's building was beautiful. It was an old church that had been renovated into modern apartments, and it was in a nice part of town. I felt mildly ridiculous walking around dressed as I was, but I had a plan, and I meant to see it through. I hiked my Jansport up onto my shoulder, tucked my binder under my arm, and walked through the lobby with my head held high. With every step, my well-worn Docs made a clomping sound on the marble floor, and I tried desperately to take soft steps and not draw too much attention. Thankfully, the lobby was mostly deserted, with the exception of a few random people getting their mail, or coming home from work.

I made a beeline for the elevator, and jumped inside, stabbing the '3rd Floor' button repeatedly, in a futile effort to get me closer to Edward that much faster. My heart was practically beating out of my chest.

_What if he doesn't get it? I'll look ridiculous…but at least I'm here. _

I raised my shaky hand to the door and knocked loudly. I waited a minute, and when there was still no answer, I rang the doorbell impatiently.

The door whipped open quickly, and I had to physically stop my jaw from dropping. There he stood in the doorway, looking like something out of my High school fantasies, down to the last minute detail: bed head, tattered jeans, his worn-out hole-ridden Stoli Vodka t-shirt, a plaid flannel, and his old Chucks…and, of course, fuckhot glasses. It was obviously a different pair, since my ass had accidentally taken out the old ones, but they looked good enough to me. He looked older, but better, for sure. It had to have something to do with the confident, but not cocky, way he carried himself now.

_Oh, fuck! Fire down below!_

I took a deep breath and tucked a stray lock of hair behind my ear, looking up at him sheepishly.

_Focus! Stick to the plan. Do not get sucked in by the magic of the nerd glasses. Resist! Resist!_

He was staring at me with an intensity that normally would have made me jump his bones right there, but I wanted to play this out, and I hoped he'd play along.

He still hadn't spoken a word; he was just staring at me. I was beginning to wonder if maybe he thought he was hallucinating.

"Bella?" He growled in a low, gravelly voice. The tone itself turned my knees to Jell-o.

_DO. NOT. CAVE._

"Hi, Edward, um…I was hoping maybe you'd be willing to, um, study with me? I need some help with my…er…_Biology _assignment," I stuttered.

His eyes were dark, and filled with what looked like a mixture of confusion and lust, and he nodded so gently I almost didn't see it. I dropped the binder and backpack on the floor, and threw myself at him with all my strength.

He caught me just as our lips crashed together, both of us panting, grabbing, and desperate.

"Bewwa?" Edward mumbled, my mouth still covering his.

"Hmm?" I responded, not letting go of him.

He finally broke our kiss, and gently pushed my shoulders back with one hand, while still gripping tightly onto my waist with the other.

"Bella, it's not that I'm not insanely happy to see you, but what's this all about?" He asked, holding me tightly, but maintaining the distance between our upper bodies so he could look me in the eyes.

"We were idiot kids, and we didn't do things right the first time," I explained, trying to pull him back to me.

"Wait, what? I'm still confused."

"Come on Edward. Don't be thick. Don't you get it? I want a fucking do-over. This," I gestured at our clothes and my props, "is our do-over. I want this. Now shut up and come here."

I grabbed his shoulders and roughly pulled him to me, attacking him with my mouth, peppering tiny kisses and delicate licks all over his face and neck.

"So you're here for the whole weekend?" he asked hopefully, seemingly oblivious to my frenzied attack. I sighed loudly, dropping my arms in frustration.

"Yes. We fly back Monday morning. Alice is here in town too, and she and Jazz are meeting us at some club called Subterranean. It was Jazz's suggestion," I answered, thrilled by the smile that took over his face.

"Sooooo…what time are we meeting them?" he asked.

"I promised we'd be there by nine o'clock."

"So we have two hours until we have to leave…"

"Yup…"

"Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"Get naked…"

"Aye aye, Captain," I agreed, already trying to shed my clothes at lightning speed.

"Oh, I'm not the Captain," he corrected, "but if you want, I'd be happy to introduce you." Edward growled, pressing into me, sharing his obvious excitement.

"You mean, El Capitán? I believe we've already met, but it's been a while," I teased, trying not to giggle. He froze momentarily, realizing that somehow the secret nickname for his glorious peen had been divulged to me.

"_Jasper_, that _fucker…_" he hissed.

I nodded, confirming that it had indeed been his older brother who spilled the beans. Jasper had also shared other tasty morsels of truth, but I planned to save those for later, in case I needed them.

"Well then, I believe it's time you two got reacquainted," Edward said, his eyes darkening further.

"I think I'd like that _very much_," I replied breathlessly.

He whipped out the naughty smirk that lit my panties on fire, and whispered in my ear.

"El Capitán _doesn't_ disappoint…"

* * *

Making good on my promise, we arrived at Subterranean in much lighter and better moods, so I could at least count on the fact that Alice wouldn't be stabbing me with her silver stiletto. She had gotten so sick of hearing me whine about being confused, and emotionally retarded, and _sexually frustrated _that she had started threatening me with bodily harm.

The club was huge, and crawling with people, a good portion of which were dressed up in some form of costume of another. I had expected to feel out of place and silly in my grunge-wear, so I'd packed a change of clothes in my backpack, but Edward insisted we go out dressed as we were. He'd confessed to me, post mind-blowing-incredigasm, that his brain hadn't fully accepted that the woman he was with _now_, was the same girl he'd pined for all those years ago. Now it seemed real, he said, and then his eyes had gone all twinkly and I'd found it hard to breathe.

I knew in my heart that I was falling in love with him, but actually leaping off that cliff and into the unknown was something that I knew I wasn't ready for. I was trying, as best I could, to work out my mommy issues and not let them continue to interfere with my life, but the same thoughts kept flashing in my mind.

_What if he breaks my heart? What if I change my whole life, and then he leaves me? What if I fuck this all up?_

As we approached the table where Jasper and Alice were sitting, I saw Alice whisper something into Jazz's ear, then she scooted out of the booth and gestured for Edward to sit down. She grabbed me by the arm and forced me to accompany her to the ladies room. Once we were inside, and away from the loud music, she started in with the _Alice third-degree_.

"Well? Did it work? Did he go nuts? I still have no idea why he would find your hopelessly outdated and poorly cared for clothes _attractive, _but whatever, to each his own. Okay, spill," she ordered.

"Yes, it worked. Yes, he went nuts, and he finds my clothes attractive because they gave him a peek at the way I used to be. It reminded him of the me he loved before," I answered, smiling a little to myself.

"Ugh, barf! Hallmark much? Did you just make that shit up, or did you get it off a Lifetime Movie of the Week?" she made a retching noise and then laughed. "Your clothes are repulsive, and I'm glad you grew a sense of style. I'd love you even if you didn't, but thankfully you grew out of grunge."

"Actually, I didn't make it up. It's what hetold me in the cab on the way over," I said, trying to convey how sweet it was at the time.

"Seriously?" she asked, disbelieving. "Okay, here would be the part where I'd say that he's the best guy ever, and you better jump on that, like, right now. However, you're _Bella_, and I know you, and I can see your gears spinning even now. I know this scares the bejeezus out of you, and that's fine, but you're gonna ruin your whole weekend if you let Emo-Bella come out and play. So, for all of our sakes, get a drink, relax, and let's have fun, m'kay?"

She patted me on the arm, grabbed my hand again, and pulled me out of the bathroom and towards the bar.

"Two Jack and cokes, two shots of Patron, and two Kamikazes, please," Alice barked at the bartender, smiling sweetly as she did it.

The bartender slid our drinks to us and Alice pushed the two shots towards me.

"Both. Down the hatch. Now." She commanded.

"Alice, I—"

"Don't even think about protesting. Just do it. You'll thank me later. Jasper is currently trying to get Edward equally shitfaced. You two need to loosen up and have some fun. Whoooo!" Alice hooted, and the people at the bar shouted back. "See? It's Halloween. Kids get candy, grown-ups get drinks."

I figured that arguing further would be pointless, so I downed the first shot with a grimace, then sipped the Jack and coke before downing the second. I had a buzz before we even made it back to the table.

As we approached, I saw an array of glasses on the table in front of the boys, and Edwards face was slightly more flushed than usual. I scooted in next to him, and he wrapped his warm arm around my shoulders.

"Having fun?" I asked him, noticing the fact that his glasses were slightly cockeyed. I straightened them for him, and he leaned in to kiss me. I could smell whiskey and warmth, and his delicious scent.

"Mmmhmmm. Fun," he responded. His eyes went slightly out of focus and I wondered if he hadn't had too much already. He nuzzled my neck and bit me lightly, making it even more difficult for me to think.

"Wanna dance, maybe?" I asked, hoping to create a distraction for the both of us, so I wouldn't immediately give in if he wanted to sneak off to some dark corner and give me an encore.

"Yep. Deffnitly. Less go," he slurred slightly.

I took his hand and led him towards the dance floor. I was never much of a dancer, but the alcohol made me feel uninhibited and bold, and for some inexplicable reason, I just wanted to dance.

The music was loud, and bass driven, and I didn't recognize the song, but it had a rhythm that made it easy for us to move against one another in time with the beat. Edward was far more coordinated than I remembered him being. The last time we'd danced had been at the reunion, and that had been a slow song. He seemed comfortable, moving closely next to me, our bodies being forced together by the crush of people on the dance floor with us.

It was hot, and the air was thick with sweat and warm breath. After a few songs I needed water, so we weaved through the crowd and back to our table. Jasper and Alice were surprisingly still there, and not in some closet fucking like rabbits, but unsurprisingly they were completely tangled up in one another, making out furiously.

"Ahem!" I cleared my throat as loudly as possible, and they separated, both looking annoyed but still smiling.

"You guys look like you're having a good time," Alice said as she eyed our flushed and sweaty faces.

"Back 'atcha," I replied, pointing at Jazz and then back at her.

"We need more drinks. I'll be right back," Edward announced, then slinked off through the masses to the bar.

He returned minutes later with a tray that held more shots, more little glasses filled with colorful god-knows-what, and four bottles of water. I grabbed a bottle of water and chugged half of it, knowing that I'd already drank enough to probably be sorry in the morning.

Edward passed the shots out to all of us, and we toasted one another, then downed them. The burn warmed me, but also made me feel like I wanted to dance again.

"I have to go do something. I'll be back in a second," Edward whispered into my ear. He jumped out of our booth, a little wobblier than he normally was, and made a beeline for the DJ booth. It looked like he was shouting something at the DJ, and the DJ nodded in response. He returned to the table with a huge grin on his face, and he grabbed my arm and pulled me back to the dance floor.

A new song started, one I vaguely recalled hearing on the radio recently. Edward leaned close to my ear and whispered, "Don't laugh, but I heard this the other day, and for some reason it made me think of you…well, us, really."

My heart swelled as he pulled me close and danced with me. I giggled and moved to the music, feeling lighter than I had in weeks. The chorus started, and Edward started to sing along, mouthing the words to me. I was both shocked and amused that Edward even knew this song, because it was a far cry from his normal musical taste.

"Listen up 'cause I love ya lady, we go back like nineteen-eighty. Lord knows you're the one to change me, you love me 'cause I'm so crazy. You'll see, it'll be, you and me, always, alway-ay-ay-ay-ay-ays."

The innuendo in the song choice was apparent, and it made me slightly anxious, but it was still one of the sweetest things I'd ever seen. We danced until the song was over, and I smiled up at him at kissed him sweetly on the lips.

"Let's get out of here," I suggested. He nodded eagerly.

After saying goodbye to Jasper, and telling Alice that I'd call her at Jasper's apartment in the morning, Edward and I grabbed a cab back to his place.

The walk from the lobby to the elevator proved to be much more difficult than it had been earlier, and my wobbly legs barely kept me upright. Edward seemed fairly tanked as well, and he fumbled in his pocket for the keys as we approached his apartment door.

Once we walked into his apartment, I felt the first signs of the spins, and I collapsed heavily onto Edward's couch.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I know you want to lay down, but I've been dreaming about having you in my bed with me for months_..._well, _years_ really. Don't deny me that little pleasure," he said as he pushed his bottom lip out and pouted at me.

"Okay, to bed we go, but I don't think there'll be any more _sookie-sookie-na-na_ going on tonight. I can hardly hold my head up," I conceded.

"It's okay, Bells," he laughed. "I think it's bedtime for both of us."

He lifted me gently off the couch and carried me to his bedroom. I was grateful when he started to undress me, because I was almost to the point where I would gladly go to sleep with all my clothes and my shoes on. I hadn't partied like this since college, and twenty-eight year old bodies obviously don't handle alcohol like nineteen-year-old bodies do. He pulled my boots off, slid my jeans off, then helped me remove my t-shirt and thermal, leaving me in just my bra and panties. He stripped down to his boxers and crawled into bed. He snuggled up to me, wrapping me in his arms and pulling my body to him, so my head rested on his chest. The last thing I heard before I fell asleep was the low rhythmic beating of his heart in time with mine.

* * *

I awoke the next morning to the sound of rain pelting the window, feeling like my head was full of broken glass, and my mouth was stuffed with cotton. The clock on Edward's nightstand read ten forty-seven. We'd slept in _late._

"What the…ugh. I feel like hammered shit," I mumbled, as I cuddled up to the warm body beside me.

"I'll second that, Dancing Queen," Edward growled from under a pillow. "We may have overdone it just a wee bit."

"Mmph…just a little," I groaned.

"I'll bet you Jasper drank five-times more than we did, and he probably doesn't even have a headache, the way he can hold his liquor," Edward grumbled while he peeked out from under his pillow, covering his eyes with his hand.

"It's raining. We may end up stuck inside all day," I informed him, not entirely disappointed by the prospect of spending an entire day holed-up in Edward's apartment. I was sure we could find _some _way to occupy our time.

"Yeah, the forecast didn't look good. If you'd told me you were coming I could have warned you," he responded.

"You aren't upset, are you? I just really wanted to surprise you." I snuggled closer to him, and laid gentle kisses on his hand that was near my face.

"My gorgeous girlfriend surprises me with a visit and she thinks I'm upset? Never. I'm _ecstatic_," he answered sincerely, rolling me over so he could kiss my cheeks. "What am I going to do with you Bella? Sometimes you can be adorably absurd. Let me clarify. You could take up residence in that bed, and I would not complain, not even once. Don't ever think I'd be upset you came to visit. I've missed you."

I snickered quietly and covered my face with the comforter, simultaneously hiding the blush I knew was staining my cheeks.

"What's wrong, Bella?" he asked.

"Nothing's wrong. It's just that you said 'girlfriend'. I like it," I confessed, blushing slightly. "Would my amazing _boyfriend_ care to make me breakfast? Preferably including lots of strong coffee?" I gave him my best smile, and giggled as he rolled himself out of the bed and pulled on his sweats and an undershirt.

"My beautiful girlfriend's wish is my command," he said as he bowed dramatically, then groaned at the rush of blood to his hung-over head, and strutted off to the kitchen.

I took my time getting out of bed, feeling that my muscles were sore and my head was slightly achy. I hadn't brought any casual clothes with me, so I helped myself to one of Edward's t-shirts, and a pair of work-out shorts. I dug my travel toothbrush out of my backpack, and freshened up, brushing my teeth and washing my face. The smell of freshly brewed coffee called to me, and I found Edward in the kitchen sliding buttered bagels onto plates.

"You are a saint," I said as I took a coffee mug from his outstretched hand.

"Have I told you how amazing you look this morning, Bella?"

"Um, are you kidding me? My hair is a rats-nest and I am wearing _your_ clothes!" I argued, gesturing towards my excessively baggy shirt and horrible bedhead.

"Exactly. You look perfect." He looked me over, murmuring appreciatively, then pointed behind me. "There's Motrin on the table. I already took a few. That, plus the coffee, should have you feeling like new in just a little while." He smiled at me, while taking a bite of his bagel.

"It looks like we're gonna have to forego the sightseeing this trip. The weather is just too unpredictable. Not that I'm complaining about getting to keep you to myself all day," he teased, wiping the crumbs from his chin.

"I'm certainly not going to complain either. What did you have in mind?" I asked.

"Well, I'm game for whatever. How about a movie? I have tons of Blu-Ray's," He suggested.

"I'll do whatever you want, so long as at some point today, after we're feeling better, I get an _encore performance_. I'm still not entirely confident about my _Biology_ skills," I teased suggestively.

Edward gulped hard, then looked me directly in the eyes. "I think that can be arranged," he rasped.

After breakfast, we settled onto the couch to watch movies, agreeing that each had to watch the other's favorite. I chose "City of Angels", because the love story always moved me to tears. Edward made some comment about the ending being a load of crap, even though I could have _sworn _his eyes looked teary, but I didn't have the heart to tease him for being such a softie. He chose "Return of the Jedi", and I laughed because he really was still such a nerd at heart, even after all these years.

Spending time together was effortless for us. We fell into the same comfortable companionship that we'd had as kids, except now there was experience and maturity that made me see how lucky I was to have found such a compatible counterpart. There were hurdles ahead, yes, but for the time being, it felt like perfection.

We snuggled, played cards, and tossed popcorn into each other's mouths from across the couch. It was sweet, and funny, and perhaps just a little juvenile, but we didn't care. We were discovering who we were together, and it was a wonderful mix of the confident adults and the nerdy kids. Somehow, some way, we were working, despite the time we spent apart, and despite the many miles that separated our lives.

Around mid-afternoon, we were just finishing a game of checkers when, in typical Bella fashion, I managed to spill my glass of water all over Edward's lap. Deja-vu struck me, and the light bulb went on. I realized I could play this into my whole do-over fantasy.

I immediately noticed Edward's eyes darkening with familiar lust.

"Oh, my god! I'm so sorry! Here, let me get a towel," I apologized dramatically, and quickly grabbed the dishrag off of Edward's kitchen counter.

I hastily started to dab at the wetness on the front of his sweats, all the while feeling his eyes staring a burning hole in my forehead. I knew he was thinking the same thing: the study session all those years ago, when I'd also spilled my drink on him…the one time I had been bold enough to touch him in a way that wasn't platonic. At the time, he seemed to have misinterpreted my intentions, but this time I wasn't being nearly as discreet.

"Yes Edward, I _am_ touching you _on purpose, _and it feels like you're just as excited about it _now_ as you were the first time I touched you. Just. Like. This_,_" I purred, smiling at him devilishly as I gave him one last slow stroke with the towel.

Edward grabbed the dishrag from my hand and flung it into the kitchen, then reached out onto the table and swept the board and game pieces onto the floor in one swift motion. He stood up from his chair so quickly that it fell to the floor with a loud clatter. I gulped hard as he approached me in a way that could only be described as predatory, and he pulled me against his chest.

"You feel better, right?" He asked, panting.

"I'm _perfect_, thanks for asking," I managed to respond breathlessly.

He nodded, and gripped my ass tightly, lifting me up and seating me on the edge of the kitchen table. I couldn't help but laugh. The first time we'd been together had also been on a table, although that particular table had been in my father's kitchen. This promised to be something different entirely.

Edward made a growling sound under his breath, and already looked flushed and warm. He pulled his undershirt over his head, allowing me to run my hands over his smooth, muscled chest. He quickly grabbed the hem of my t-shirt and pulled it off as well.

I closed my eyes, as he gathered my hair together and moved it aside, allowing him access to my neck. He made a trail of wet, open-mouthed kisses, from behind my ear to my shoulder, while deftly moving his hands to my back to unclasp my bra. Once the satin binding was discarded, he allowed his hands to brush the sides of my breasts, causing me to arch my back, offering myself to him. Edward teased my taut nipples with his thumbs, eliciting involuntary moans from me at the sensation.

He raked his eyes over my body, then back up to my face, setting his sights on my lips. I licked my lips in anticipation of his kiss, but I couldn't wait any longer. I fisted my hands into his hair, drawing him towards my waiting lips, eager to have his mouth on my own. He licked and sucked on my bottom lip before meeting his tongue with mine. I removed my hands from his hair, and grabbed his hips to press him more firmly against me. I was aching to feel him between my legs. My hips lifted off the table, searching for him, trying to create more friction.

I grabbed at his sweat pants and boxers and pushed them down to his feet in one swift motion, unable to control the devilish smirk that formed on my lips. He quickly leaned me backwards on the table, hovering over me, pressing his entire length up against my aching heat, and I completely lost the ability to form rational thoughts. He hooked his thumbs into the waistband of the shorts I was wearing, and quickly slid them off my legs, followed quickly by my panties.

He grasped my hips firmly, and pulled me to the end of the table. His finger ran along my wet center, before moving up to make tight circles around my clit.

"Bella, did you have anymore questions about that Biology assignment?" He asked, as he removed his fingers and aligned himself with my entrance.

"I don't know, Edward. I think I may need a _demonstration," _I urged, as I pressed myself closer to him.

I felt him push in slightly, and my body tensed at the delicious sensation. He entered me slowly, pushing deeply, all the while keeping his eyes locked on mine. I cried out as he finally filled me completely. I forced my eyes open, wanting to see Edwards's face as he slid in and out, his toned forearms flexing as he held himself over me.

Thinking it was impossible to be any more turned on than I already was, I moved my eyes to the tattoo on Edward's arm and felt my excitement grow even more. Unable to deal with his slow pace, I wrapped my legs around his waist eagerly, pulling him further into me as I matched his thrusts. I felt frantic, needing to have him as deeply inside of me as I could.

"Edward, _please_," I begged.

Without warning, he plunged forcefully into me again, and pulled back out almost entirely. With each thrust, he was entering me quicker and deeper than the last.

"Is this what you wanted, Bella?" Edward rasped against my ear.

I was unable to answer him with anything other than a moan, as he moved his lips from my ear to my breast, circling my nipple with his tongue. I tried desperately to delay my impending orgasm. I wasn't ready for this to be over.

Edward moved his hand between us and started making quick circles right where I needed him to, as he quickened the already frenzied pace of our hips. Unable to hold off any longer, I exploded around him, contracting tightly, and I felt him release into me, while he continued to grasp my hips firmly.

Our bodies shuddered together with the last waves of pleasure, and Edward's name fell from my lips repeatedly as he rested his forehead to mine, softly stroking my hair.

After our breathing had returned to normal, I stood carefully and took him by the hand, leading him back to his bedroom. I could see that he was tired, and on top of our recent romp, I was still feeling drained from the night before. I couldn't think of anything better than to spend as much time as possible in bed with Edward. I wanted to memorize everything about our time together. The way he breathed when I kissed him…the way he looked when he was sleeping…the quiet sighs of content he made when he finally settled in next to me.

I needed to record it all in my mind, so I could remember clearly how great we were together…because in the morning I was going to have to wake up and say goodbye…

…again.

* * *

**AN: Halloween, Reunion Style, is brought to you by The Misfits – **_**Saturday Night**_** and the Wunderle Candy Company, makers of Candy Corn.**

**Check out Rehab's **_**1980**_** on youtube you will love all the 80's nostalgia: www . youtube . com/watch?v=jSR6uq5FwiE **

**We love reviews, but they are not as good as asking Rob a question at Comic Con and making him smile...cheers to you AGB - you are so fucking WIN!!!**


	13. Always Ten Feet Tall

**AN: Thank you to everyone who read our one shot, **_**Lover I'll Be Your Lover Too,**_** our entry in the Age of Edward Contest. Thanks for the voted BB's!**

**Stephenie Meyers owns Edward…we just let him watch.**

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**Chapter 13 - Always Ten Feet Tall**

**(EPOV)**

Each time Bella and I said goodbye it was harder and harder. Yes, I knew that we were moving forward, even if they were only little baby steps, but the distance was killing me. Driving her to the airport three weeks ago, and once again having to hold in everything I wanted to tell her, was starting to wear on me.

Every fiber of my body wanted to scream "_I LOVE YOU BELLA SWAN!_" but I had resigned myself to things like "beautiful girlfriend", and "my Bella". While they were acceptable substitutes, I wanted her to know just how much she meant to me _now_, and how much she had always meant to me, even during all the years we were apart.

_Fuck Cullen, you need some Summer's Eve for that smelly vadge of yours? All you do is whine about Bella… just fucking _do_ something about it!_

Bella had gotten her "do-over" on Halloween, and I wanted my own turn. There were so many lost moments in high school. So many dates we should have gone on, so many stupid fights we should have had, and so many make up then make-_out_ sessions we'd missed out on.

If we could have just been honest with one another back then, who knows where the fuck we might be? Maybe married with kids, the white picket fence, two annoying yappy dogs. You know…the American dream.

Being the son of the Chief of Medicine at Forks Hospital did have some perks, I suppose. I'd been calling in a number of favors--which I _might _have implied were on my father's behalf--trying to prepare my surprise for Bella.

We'd both decided to go to Forks for Thanksgiving. That way we could take care of our familial obligations, then have the following three days together.

Three days with Bella Swan. There were so many things I wanted to do. Things I should have done all those years ago. The list seemed split between Emo-Edward, who wanted to lavish affection and romance on her, and El Capitán who obviously wanted to fuck her until the cows came home. I could almost hear the little guy--well, not _little--_yelling at me for not making my plans focused around him.

_Hey, don't think you're going to be filling up all the time with romantic shit. I have a few things I want to do with Bella Swan myself, you fucktard!_

I was laughing to myself at the ridiculous internal dialogue when I heard the high pitched ding from my Mac. The cd slid out the side of my computer,and I added it to the other 3that were already labeled and carefully housed in their cases. I still had so much to do to get ready for my trip to Forks and I only had five more days before I'd be leaving.

Just as I'd shut my computer down, I heard Bella's unmistakable text alert. She'd added special ringtones to my phone while we'd laid in bed, trying to soak up every last detail of each other before she had to leave.

"_I told her yo, listen up cuz I love you lady …we go back like 1980…"_

I still couldn't believe I sang that to her. I wasn't sure if I should thank Jasper for getting me shitfaced drunk on Halloween, or if I should junkpunch him for it.

_**Busy day still the office don't know when I'll b home. Call me in the am?**_

**You know I will. I miss you. Working on ur surprise.**

_**Tease…**_

**You are only a tease if you don't follow through…I ALWAYS FOLLOW THROUGH.**

_**Grrr I hate you Edward!! XOXO B**_

**Goodnight my Bella. XOXO E**

Resigning myself to yet another night of unrelieved sexual frustration, I shut down my computer and headed to my empty bedroom...

* * *

"Oh my God! Edward Anthony Cullen come here and give your mother a hug!" I heard Esme's voice trill across the baggage claim area.

"Hi mom," I answered; as I abandoned my prime location at the luggage carousel and made my way over to my mother's waiting arms.

"Take those ridiculous sunglasses off of your face right now mister. You're inside for God's sake, what are you thinking?" Before I could take the sunglasses off, my mom had removed them. She held me back at arm's length to give me a once over.

"I thought so!" She stated, nodding her head while her eyebrow quirked. "You're head over heels in love aren't you?"

I huffed indignantly and shook my head at my all-knowing mother.

"Just because Jasper decided to go to Alice's for Thanksgiving doesn't mean you have to direct all that extra motheryness at me! I don't even know what you're talking about."

"Edward, don't get so huffy. Now grab your bags so we can make it home before your father gets in from the hospital."

Luckily, the drive in from Seattle wasn't filled with the constant grilling I had expected. Instead, Esme explained in length about a new volunteer program she was heading up for underprivileged children. Then she spent the rest of the trip subtly "hinting" at how nice it was to be around young children since she didn't have any grandchildren of her own. Which in turn made me think about what a family with Bella might be like.

_You might consider telling Bella you love her and want to spend the rest of your life with her _before _you start thinking about bronze-haired and brown-eyed kiddies running about, you weinerd!_

I helped my mom bring in the last of her groceries from the car before she shooed me off, saying she had to get ready to put Martha Stewart to shame tomorrow.

I gladly took the time to finish up the last few unfinished details for mine and Bella's upcoming date. I called Ms. Cope, and used all the charm I had, to finally get her to agree to let me into the school on Friday, under the guise that I had wanted to get some pictures for the 1999 Alumni site. I _might_ have forgotten to mention that I would be propping a door open and returning later that evening to try and impress the girl of my dreams.

I called over to Kalaloch Lodge to confirm the reservation for the Ocean Side cabin, and that I would be picking the key up early Friday morning The choices for lodging in Forks were very slim, but Kalaoch was in the Olympic National Park, and the best place you could stay at near town.

I knew that this was going to be our _should-have-been_ date, and most high schoolers don't stay in hotel rooms, but there were some luxuries being an adult _did_ afford you. I simply couldn't imagine bringing Bella back to my parent's house, and I don't think I'd be able to have another _morning-after _conversation with Charlie at his house and hope to survive.

I looked over at the clock, realizing that Bella was just now leaving Miami, and due to her shitty flight she still had another 5 hours of traveling before making it into Forks. I had begged and pleaded with her to agree to let me pick her up from the airport, but she'd simply refused. She finally admitted to me that once she saw me she wouldn't be able to let me go home. We had both made promises to our families to spend Thanksgiving with them, and Lord knows my mom would be devastated if I bailed, since Jasper wouldn't be here.

I knew that Bella had said she'd be getting in late, and would be busy all day tomorrow, but I wanted her to have something waiting for her when she got in tonight. I grabbed one of the CDs I'd made for her labeled "Always Ten Feet Tall"; I hoped she remembered the song. We used to listen to it when we studied sometimes, and it was exactly how she made me feel. She still needed some details about Friday, so I included a note letting her know to dress comfortably, bring an overnight bag, and that I'd be at her house to pick her up at 12pm sharp.

I made my way into the kitchen, knowing I was taking my life into my hands by entering Esme's inner sanctum, during a holiday. To say my mother could cook would be an understatement, and the kitchen was clearly defined as _her _territory. She usually treated us like vampires, denying us entry unless invited, and during any special occasion she made it known that it was _completely_ off-limits. She _wanted_ to do everything herself, and her temper became uncharacteristically short whenever anyone tried to help.

One of the _very few_ times I had brought Tanya home to Forks for a holiday, she had tried to excuse herself from Jasper, Carlisle and myself and join my mother in the kitchen. I could tell mom didn't really care for her, so before she had made her way completely off the couch, all three of us had jumped up making excuses to try and keep her in the safety of the living room.

Mom I need to run a few errands, would you mind if I use your car?" I asked, keeping myself safely on the opposite side of the counter.

"What exactly are these errands you to need to run dear?" Esme asked, as she added brown sugar and eggs to a large bowl.

"I need to drop something off over at the Swan's," I answered, hoping if I left Bella's name out of the sentence I may not have to play 20 questions.

_Fat chance buck-o, this is Esme Cullen you are dealing with. The CIA should hire this woman to do interrogations!_

"Oh, you mean you want to take something over to your _girlfriend's_ house, with whom you are also madly in love?"

"Mom, please, I really don't want to get into it right this second," I pleaded giving her my best puppy dog eyes.

"Do you seriously think giving me that look is going to get you off the hook? It may work on the ladies, but I'm your mother so cut it out. I'll make you a deal. If you want the car, you're going to have to promise to sit down with me and have a nice little chat about you and Bella. Deal?" She stuck out her lightly flour covered hand and waited for my acceptance of the terms.

She knew she had me, unless I was going to walk, or ride my bike that may or may not even still be in the garage I had to agree.

"Deal," I huffed as I shook her hand. The fact that I sounded like a surly teenager didn't escape my notice.

I made it over to Bella's house and sat in the car for a minute, trying to weigh my options for where I could leave the package for her. I would have loved to leave it in her truck, but Emmett still had that behemoth, trying to get it in tip-top shape.

I knew there was a really good chance that Bella's window would be unlocked, and I considered trying to climb the tree so I could put the box in her room.

_Are you fucking kidding me you cock-sock? I'm sorry, but when did you become a superhero? You aren't motherfucking Spiderman. NEXT IDEA!_

Fearing that Bella might find me outside her window, likely on the ground with internal bleeding, I settled for placing the package at the front door, where I could at least be sure she would see it when she got in.

I lingered for a few moments, just enjoying the fact that Bella would be in town in a few hours. However, my enjoyment was short lived when I realized that I would only be a few miles away from Bella, and not with her. I felt like the wait would surely kill me. Maybe I could gorge myself on turkey and the tryptophan would make me sleep through the hours I would be without Bella.

It sounded like a good plan to me.

* * *

I woke up early Friday morning to a quiet, empty house. Esme had gone into Port Angeles for some "Black Friday" shopping, as she called it, and Carlise had to get into the hospital early.

I grabbed one of the muffins my mom had left for me on the counter, and sat at the kitchen table. Only 4 hours and 22 minutes until I would pick Bella up from her Dad's house. I grabbed my phone, dying to talk to her, but hesitated for a moment. I knew she had been so busy lately that she hadn't been able to enjoy a morning to sleep in, so I settled on texting her.

**Make sure to bring socks with you. Only 4 hours & 21 Minutes till I get to kiss you. XOXO E**

_**STILL SLEEPING *PS I can't wait* MWAH B**_

I smiled down at the screen of my phone and imagined Bella cuddled into the bed, with the comforter up to her neck, making those cute little sounds while she sleptThat visual alone had me wide awake, well in my pants at least.

_While you're having your sweet G-rated fantasy, close your eyes little boy, so I have a proper NC-17 one featuring Bella's naked body!_

I'd told Ms. Cope that I would meet her at the school at 8:30 a.m., so I finished up my breakfast and made my way over to the school. I had to lay it on pretty thick once I got there, taking pictures of common areas and the football field. Finally, after about an hour, she said she needed to get back home, and reminded me several times to lock everything up.

I waited a few minutes after she left before I propped open the door nearest to the cafeteria. Now all I had to do was pray that there wasn't a strong wind, and my plan would fall into place perfectly.

Once I'd gotten ready, and gathered everything I needed for the evening, there was nothing left to do but wait. I sat down on the couch and scrolled quickly through a few work e-mails. I absentmindedly pushed my glasses up my nose, and realized that I had been wearing them so often now, at Bella's request, that they didn't even bother me anymore.

Unable to wait any longer, I decided to leave. I tried to ignore the fact that it was 11:30am, and it would only take me 10 minutes to get to Bella's. I promised myself I would drive slowly, but by the time I arrived in front of the Swan residence I was _still _20 minutes early! Charlie's cruiser was parked out front, and I knew that the Chief of Police would be aware someone was sitting in front of his house.

_Time to man up fuckface. Let's get ready to walk into the belly of the beast._

Charlie was already waiting at the door for me when I made it onto the stoop.

"Edward, come on in. Bells is still getting ready."

"Thank you, sir." I answered in what I hoped was my most respectful voice.

Charlie moved to the side to let me into the house, and my eyes instinctively went to the gun holster he had hanging by the door.

"Would you like something to drink?"

"Water is fine, thank you," I responded, while Charlie led me into the kitchen.

_Oh fuck me! He's making me return to the scene of the crime! _

My body was at war with itself. Part of me was scared shitless to be in the same room that I had fucked his daughter in, and then my dick somehow also got stuck on the fact that _this was the room I fucked his daughter in_.

Charlie motioned for me to have a seat, and then I realized it was a _new fucking table_!

"I recently did some redecorating. Do you like the new table?" Charlie asked while placing the glass of water in front of me.

I nodded my head and took an inordinately long drink of the water, hoping that maybe I could drown myself in the little cup.

Just when I didn't think I was going to be able to take it anymore, I heard Bella calling out from upstairs.

"Hey dad, Edward should be here in a few minutes. I put all the leftovers in the fridge so you should have plenty to eat."

I made my way to the bottom of the staircase to wait, since she didn't seem to know I was already here.

She came out of her bedroom and over to the stairs before her eyes found me.

"Edward, you're early!" She squealed in delight, as she descended the stairs at a rate that made me extremely nervous.

She flung herself at me and wrapped her arms and legs around me in a huge hug at the bottom step.

_El Capit__á__n__ please, I fucking beg you, keep it down a bit. I know our fuckhot, sexy girlfriend has her pretty parts pressed up against you right now, but her dad is about 10 feet away._

I gave Bella a sweet kiss her forehead as I helped her slide safely back down to the floor. I saw the overnight bag she had dropped at the top of the landing, and quickly retrieved it for her as she said goodbye to Charlie.

As we made our way out of the house, I noticed Charlie _almost_ had a smile peeking out from under that mustache of his.

I opened the car door for Bella, and waved goodbye to her father once again, before situating myself behind the wheel. I glanced up to make sure we were finally alone before I leaned across the console and took Bella's cheeks into both of my hands.

"I don't think I got to give you a proper hello," I breathed against her lips before closing the distance completely and kissing her fully on the lips. She returned my kiss, leaning in further and stroking my cheek. I broke the kiss first, knowing that if I continued to kiss Bella in such a way, I might as well throw all my plans out the window and take her straight to the cabin. As much as I wanted to do just that, this date was something I _needed_ to do.

"So where are we going Edward?" She asked, as she eyed me skeptically.

"You'll find out in five minutes, I promise. Now please, just sit back and let me surprise you!"

Bella huffed a little, and pretended to pout a bit, before laughing and grabbing my hand in hers.

As I pulled into the parking lot of the Bowl-a-rama, Bella looked utterly confused. Forks was such a small town that the bowling alley didn't even open before 5pm, and I could tell Bella was wondering why we were at a closed bowling alley.

I was unable to control the smirk I felt form on my lips, as I got out to open Bella's door.

"Edward, I know you said it's a surprise and all, but bringing me to a closed bowling alley is a little weird."

I refused to answer her, and instead I just moved us along to the front of the building. I opened the door for Bella and used my hand to wave her in.

"Oh my god, is this open just for us?" Bella asked while bouncing on her toes a bit.

"Yes. You got your re-do on Halloween, and now it's my turn. Bella, there are so many things I wanted to do with you in high school, and today we get to make up for a few." I leaned down and nuzzled my face into Bella's hair as I spoke.

Bella looked up at me, and it was one of those truly perfect moments just being with her.

"Well, come on Cullen, we have memories to make," she laughed as she pulled me towards the closest lane.

We had the _best_ time bowling. We laughed, reminisced, and shit talked. I'm not sure if it was Bella's plan or not, but she totally distracted me each time she bent over to line up her ball with the pins. I could have sworn she was shaking her ass at me each time.

After 3 games, we both seemed to have had our fill of bowling for a while. I placed the shoes back up at the counter, with a note thanking Embry and his family for letting me rent the bowling alley for the afternoon.

We made our way over to the small pizza place on the other side of town, because really, isn't bowling and pizza one of those quintessential high school dates?

I knew that Bella liked mushrooms so I went to the counter to place an order for a mushroom pizza and two cokes, while she found us a seat. After paying for our food, I grabbed our drinks and turned to look for Bella.

_Oh mother fucking _hell-to-the-_no!_

I saw Bella at the far corner of the restaurant, with a pained look on her face as she tried to lean as far away from Mike Newton's hovering face as she could.

I had always read about people seeing red when they get angry, but had never actually experienced anything even close to that…until now.

_MINE!_

Without warning my brain went straight to caveman, and I stalked over to the table, my hands gripping the tray so tightly my knuckles had turned white.

"Edward," Bella sighed, looking relieved to see me.

"What a coincidence you're here too Edward," Mike said as he moved over to stand by Bella's side of the booth.

I looked at Bella, who was begging me with her eyes to get him out of here. I would've loved nothing more than to grab that fat-genie-in-a-bottle-motherfucker up by his shirt and haul him outside, but I didn't want to cause any trouble while I was out on a date with the Police Chief's daughter.

"Actually, Mike, it isn't a coincidence at all. Bella and I are on a date." I tried to reply as cordially as I could, but the way my teeth ground together as I spoke seemed to have the opposite effect.

"A date? You two? Wow, Cullen. I knew you always had a little crush on my Bells here, but I can't believe you would actually man up and ask her out."

_I'm sorry, please replay that for me? Yep that's what I thought he just said--"My Bells". Don't fucking puss out again numb nuts. Tell this douchebag what you should have back in high school._

"Mike, let me tell you something I should have told you over ten years ago. _FUCK_. _YOU_." I seethed, punctuating the last two words with a poke to the chest.

"Now, if you wouldn't mind please take your bald head and beer belly back to your momma's house and leave me and _my_ beautiful girlfriend alone. Fuck you very much."

The look on Mike's face was priceless, as he stumbled back a little, away from Bella, like I had just punched him in the gock or something.

"Damn Cullen, you don't have to be such a dick about it." I heard him mumble as he walked out the door.

"I'm so sorry Bella. I don't know what came over me. I just…saw him standing there talking to you, almost close enough to touch you, and my brain just…shut off. Forgive me?"

I looked over at Bella who was biting the side of her cheek so hard, it looks like she'd chew all the way through.

_Uh-Oh, way to go caveman, she is PISSED!_

Before I could apologize any further, Bella burst out laughing and slapped her hand against the table.

"Shit, Edward, that was the best thing I have ever seen. The look on his face, oh my God, fucking priceless!"

I was so relieved that Bella wasn't angry at me. I made my way over to her side of the booth and slid in next to her, wrapping my arm around her shoulders and pulling her up against my side. I think I may have let myself laugh a little too.

* * *

"Ok, now I am completely confused. What are we doing at the high school, Edward?"

"Well, in this whole re-do thing, this is where I would say I fucked up the most, wouldn't you?" I asked, as I shifted the bag in my hand and helped her out of the car.

"You didn't fuck up, Edward, we were stupid kids."

I grabbed Bella's hand, and led her back around to the cafeteria, thanking the Ghost of High School Past that the door was still a little ajar.

I walked over to Bella's old lunch table and helped her onto the seat, and moved around to the other side and sat in front of her.

"Now, this is where I should have been sitting, instead of all by myself on the other side of the cafeteria with my nose in a book." I whispered, and I captured her hands in mine across the table.

"Or maybe _I_ should have just gotten up and sat with _you_. It wasn't all your fault." Bella countered while squeezing my hand.

"So what would we have talked about if you _had _decided to sit with me, Ms. Swan?"

"Well Mr. EC-3PO," she started smirking at me for my screen name before continuing, "we would have discussed that while I see how your adoration for a certain golden droid runs deep, I think you may be overlooking the sheer and utter awesomeness that is R2-D2."

_Oh fuck is Bella nerding out on me about Star Wars?_

With all the blood rushing below my belt, my brain must not have been working at normal capacity, because I blurted out the first thing that came to my mind.

"Seriously Bella, are you talking to me about _droids_? See this is just another thing I love about you!"

_Hey, asstard, you just said you loved her again. Ready to do some backpedalling?_

Bella sat up a little from me, but didn't remove her hands from mine. I looked up at her warily, trying to gauge the situation. She looked a little uncomfortable, but not like she was ready to bolt out the door. I guessed her reaction could be looked at as progress.

Unhappy with the current awkwardness that had settled on us, I grabbed the bag I had brought in with me from off the floor. Bella now eyed me curiously, and I rummaged around looking for the cds I had packed. I found them and and handed them to Bella.

"Well, what is a high school couple without mixed tapes? Sadly, I couldn't put them on a real tape for you, but here are all of the mixes I always had in my head that I wanted to make you."

She took the cd's out of my hand and started looking them over one by one. I made a funny one filled with punk covers of 80's songs, a sweet one that had all of the songs I would listen to that reminded me of her, and one that had all of the songs I knew she liked or used to listen to.

"Edward, you have "New Coke" on here? That's one of my favorite songs."

"I know, you used to hum it when we'd study."

"Thank you, this is perfect," Bella said as she leaned across the table and kissed me softly against my lips.

Just like that, all the awkwardness was gone, and it was easy and sweet between us again. I had one more place we needed to visit before we could leave.

I took Bella's hand and guided her back out the door and over towards the football field. I had made sure to pack a blanket, since it was November, and I didn't want her to freeze to death while I tried to tell her everything I couldn't say in the exact spot we sat on the day of our graduation; the scene of what might be one of my worst moments, where I should have told her how I really felt at the time.

I pulled the blanket out of my bag, and covered us up together, sitting on the bleachers. I turned to angle myself in front of her a bit so I could see directly into her eyes.

"Bella, do you remember when I had asked you to take a walk with me after graduation, and we ended up right here?"

I waited for her to show me some acknowledgement of the memory. I watched as she swallowed and looked down at her hands. It was all so reminiscent of that day that it made me laugh a little. Bella looked up at me from under her thick lashes, and I grabbed her hands in mine and held her gaze.

"Asking you to take a walk with me wasn't so I could say goodbye to you Bella. I'd worked up all of my courage, and I was finally going to tell you how I really felt. Then, before I could say everything I'd wanted to, you'd thanked me for being such a good friend, and I-"

"Edward," she interrupted, her face a mask of pain.

"Bella, please just let me finish, these words have been eating away at me for over ten years. When you thanked me for being a friend, I shut down. I thought that you didn't have any other feelings for me. I tried to get you out of my mind, but you were always there. Everything felt so empty, no matter what I did, and it just felt like there was something missing. But now, with you back in my life I feel like I'm alive again, and every time I have to say good bye to you it hurts so much."

Bella sat very quietly for a few minutes, biting on her bottom lip. I wanted to pull her lip free, but I also wanted her to work through everything I had just told her.

"I was going to do the same thing, Edward." I heard her voice quiver as she looked at me with those chocolate brown eyes

The absurdity of the moment hit me so hard that I almost felt like crying. We had sat in this very same spot and not confessed our true feelings to each other and so much time had been lost. I was tired of losing time with Bella. I loved her. I had already confessed it when we left one another that first weekend. At the time I was in love with the Bella I remembered from high school, and the little bit of her she'd let me see during that weekend. Now, though, that love had grown, and I was madly in love with the woman sitting in front of me.

I leaned forward and stroked the bottom lip she'd been abusing earlier, and placed a gentle kiss directly on her mouth. I moved my thumb to her jaw and caressed softly. I drew her bottom lip into my mouth and sucked tenderly trying to take away any pain she may have caused.

She broke the kiss this time, and took a deep breath before looking at me.

"Edward, thank you for having the courage to say and do the things that I haven't been able."

I pulled her against me, crushing her to my chest, and held her as tightly as I could. As cliché as it all sounded I just wanted to stay in this moment with Bella as long as possible. Of course, the Washington weather wouldn't allow that, and I could feel her shiver slightly in my arms.

Helping her down the bleachers we returned to the warmth of the car. We sat there for a few minutes letting the heater warm our cold noses and fingers.

"Are you ready to head over to the cabin, or did you want to stop anywhere else first?" I asked, hoping for the former.

"Actually, Edward, I think there is one last thing you are forgetting about, that all proper high school dates should have." She stated, as if I should already know the answer.

"I'm sorry, did I forget something?"I asked, thoroughly believing I had covered the bases.

"Yes, you did forget something, and it's a rather _important_ something…" I still looked at her questioningly. She growled softly and answered. "Duh! Making out! It's just a shame we aren't in your old Volvo. I loved that car. I've had a crush on you for _quite a while_, and if you're lucky you may even make it to second base."

_Holy shit I've told you before but it bears repeating. This girl is _perfect_. A motherfucking keeper!_

Bella leaned across the seat, with a sultry look in her eyes, as she licked her lips. She waited for me to cross the distance, and I felt as if my mouth couldn't get to hers fast enough.

I licked at her full pink lips, while moving my hands into her hair. Bella opened her mouth and met my tongue with matched excitement. I leaned further across the console while trying to get as close to her as I could. She moved her hand into my hair and fisted it tightly with her small fingers, causing me to moan into her mouth.

My dick was pressed against the console so hard that I feared I may put a hole directly into the side of it. I moved my lips down Bella's jaw, kissing every inch of skin my mouth came in contact with. I continued my path to her ear lobe, where I sucked and nibbled slightly.

"What was that thing you said about making it to second base?" I rasped against her ear, feeling her shiver at the sensation.

She answered me silently, by pressing her perfect breasts firmly into my chest. My cock was so hard that it was painful, and all I could think of was feeling Bella against me. I moved my hands down to her shapely ass and moved her so she was straddling me in the drivers seat.

"Ow, Ow, Ow….steering wheel!" Bella yelped.

I lifted her up again, while I used the controls at the side of the door to give us more room.

"Better?" I asked, looking into her hooded eyes.

"Not yet, let me just…" Without warning, she settled herself back on top of me, grinding her hips in a slow circular motion.

_Sweet mother of God, you are getting dry humped by Bella-Fucking-Swan in your high school parking lot. Did you die and go to nerd heaven?_

"There," she sighed, as she rocked herself against my aching cock. "That makes me feel _so_ much better."

I attacked her lips in a frenzy, my hands immediately going to her soft blue cardigan, pawing at the sleeves to remove the fabric from her arms. Once removed, I trailed my fingers back up her arms and shoulders, then moving the straps of her tank top and bra aside. I placed a wet kiss on her bare shoulder while my hands traveled under her cotton top.

I slid my fingers across her warm stomach, moving them to her ribs and working up the edge of her bra. I could feel her chest heaving, and her breathing had became more erratic. I moved both hands over her bra, barely touching her, until Bella pressed her tits fully into my hands. I palmed them lightly at first, while I moved my mouth back to hers, enjoying the feel of her hardened nipples against my hand. Bella started to grind down onto me harder, and now I could actually feel the wet heat through her jeans.

I knew my dick wouldn't be able to take anymore, unless we were planning on moving this party to the backseat, making it easier to round all the bases allowing me to slide on into home. I stilled Bella's movements by placing my hands on her thighs.

"What's wrong?" she whimpered.

"Bella, there's nothing wrong, but I am two seconds from going blind due to lack of blood flow, so we have to make one of those crucial decisions. Would like you like to move into the back seat of my parent's car, or should I start heading over to the cabin I rented for us?"

She slid back over the console, and into her seat silently.

"Well, Edward, what are you waiting for?"

Wordlessly I threw the car into drive, and attempted to get us to over to Kalaloch as quickly as I could.

I could see Bella eyefucking me mischievously from the passenger seat, and licking her lips. I was starting to think that she knew what it did to me, when she did that with her mouth. Slowly, she crept her hand over the armrest and laid it on my knee, before making a slow trek upward.

"Bella," I growled in warning to her, "what did I tell you about my eyesight?"

"Then I suppose you should try and get us there faster, before you need a seeing eye dog."

The black pavement flew beneath the car as Bella danced her fingers up my thigh, only to return them to my knee without actually touching my begging cock.

As we pulled into the long drive of the lodge, Bella made one last pass up my thigh, only this time she continued until her hand was pressed up against my massive erection.

"Fuck," I hissed as she applied firmer pressure. My hips involuntarily lifted up towards her hand.

"Edward, I am just trying to give you a little bit of incentive to find our cabinquicker!"

I quickly scanned the numbers of the cabins until I found the one I had reserved. I hastily parked the car, and flung myself out as quickly as I could, making my way over to the passenger side. Once I opened the door to help Bella out, I looked down at her face and saw the sexiest smirk on her lips.

"You like being a little tease, don't you Bella?"

"I _think_ someone told me you aren't a tease if you plan on following through. I can't remember who it was though…hmmm."

I grabbed Bella out of the car, and practically dragged her into the cabin, partly because my brain was no longer working properly, and also because she was only wearing her tank top and jeans and I didn't want her to freeze to death.

I fumbled with the keys to the door as Bella pressed herself against me to stay warm. Finally, I was able to get the door open and pulled her in behind me, slamming the door a bit more forcefully than I had intended to.

I had Bella pressed up against the wall before I knew what was happening. My lips traveling down her neck, as my hands found her ass and pressed her closer to me.

"Fuck Bella, I wanted to take this slow tonight," I said, while trying to catch my breath, and provide a little space between the two of us.

"Edward, we have the rest of the weekend for slow. I want you _now_," Bella answered me, while hitching her leg over mine.

_Come on Cullen. Your mother raised you to be polite to ladies. You should give her what she is asking for._

I pressed her back up against the wall again, wrapping my hand around her thigh as I did so. I returned my attention to her mouth, and I could feel her grinding herself into me as our mouths grew frantic. I grabbed her other thigh, and wrapped her legs securely around my waist, so I could move us over to the bed, letting my hands grope her ass as I walked.

I sat her on the foot of the bed and stepped back slightly. I removed my sweater and t-shirt, as Bella sat eyeing me like a piece of meat.

I moved to unbutton my pants, but let my hands drop as I noticed that Bella was still fully clothed. I nodded my head towards her shirt and waited for her to even the clothing count. While holding my gaze almost like a challenge, she silently removed her shirt and then reached behind her back and released the clasp of her bra, allowing it to fall to the floor.

I quickly finished undressing, and I watched Bella remove the rest of her clothing as well. The way she was positioned on the bed, I could see every inch of her body. I made no move to go to her yet. I wanted to commit all of this to memory. There was one more thing I'd wanted to add to this memory as well.

"Bella, lay back on the bed for me." I instructed, moving only a few inches closer to the bed.

She lay back on the bed as I had asked, her legs still hanging over the side slightly.

"Do you know how hard it is for me, when I'm away from you? At night, I lie in bed, thinking about what you are doing at that very moment. Bella, I want you to show me what you do. I want you to touch yourself for me."

"Oh, God," she moaned, while writhing on the bed a bit. Her face had reddened noticeably, but she still looked like she might be game.

I moved myself so I was even closer to her now.

"Bella, will you do that for me? Will you touch yourself, so the next time I'm stroking my cock, I can remember what it looks like while you're thinking of me?"

She nodded her head slightly, her eyes dark and hooded with sheer lust. I moved to the very foot of the bed and placed her feet flat against the mattress. This position afforded the best view so I could see everything she did.

Bella slowly moved her hand across her stomach, and dipped a finger between her wet slick folds. She spread her swollen lips, allowing me to watch as her finger made small tight circles around her clit. She bucked her hips slightly, and started to quicken her movements.

I watched as she pushed her head further into the bed, her eyes shut and her mouth falling open a bit, and she made small moaning sounds.

"Open your eyes, Bella, look at me." I requested in a husky voice, and I grabbed my hard cock in my hand and began stroking slowly. "Do you see this? This is what you do to me. Just thinking about you makes me so hard."

Bella was practically panting now, and slid a finger inside of herself slowly. She pumped slowly at first, matching the speed at which I slid my fist over my dick. I began to stroke myself faster, and watched as Bella began pumping her finger in and out of herself to match my rhythm.

"Bella, add another finger." I rasped. I watched her add a second finger and could see she was close to the edge, as she fought to keep her eyes open.

"Keep your eyes open. I want you looking at me when you cum Bella."

A low, deep, moan broke free from her throat, as she moved her free hand up to her nipple pinching lightly.

"Cum for me Bella. I need to see you." I pleaded, while I moved closer to her.

"Edward, yes," she gasped, as she unraveled in front of my eyes.

As quickly as she'd said my name, I was over her on the bed, moving her back slightly, providing us more room at our feet.

I thrust myself into her quickly while she was still riding out the waves of her orgasm. Her eyes widened, and she cursed softly as I entered her.

From watching her touch herself, I was almost already there. I tried to hold back, wanting to have her cum with me.

"Bella, I don't think you were finished, were you? Keep touching yourself."

She moved her hand down to her clit again. The sensation of my cock buried in her, and the warmth of her hand between our bodies, was taking me right to the edge. I thrust deeper into her, and bent my head to capture her hard pink nipple in my mouth, lightly grazing her with my teeth.

I felt her walls constrict around me, as she experienced her second orgasm of the night. Two more thrusts and I released into her, gripping at the sheets by her head, and swearing as I felt her continue to tighten around me.

I collapsed on the bed next to Bella, and pulled her into me, so her face was nestled in my chest.

"Bella Swan, you are perfect, beautiful, loving, kind, amazing, sweet, funny, and so fucking sexy." I said, while punctuating each attribute with a kiss.

Moments later I heard her breathing become deeper and steadier. I knew she was asleep, and it felt perfect to have her with me. The only problem was that after Sunday we would be saying good bye again.

Every time we had to leave one another it felt like I was losing more and more of my heart. Being without Bella no longer seemed like an option. I was in madly in love with her, and something would have to change, and soon, because I didn't know how much more I could take.

Bella had become my life.

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**AN: Chapter 13 brought to you by Saves the Day - **_**Always Ten Feet Tall**_** and Phillips for introducing the first ****cassette tapes in 1963 – thanks for the mixed tape memories!**

**Here is the link for Always Ten Feet Tall: ****http://www(dot)imeem(dot)com/dialogs/standaloneplaylist/?t=http%3a%2f%2fwww(dot)imeem(dot)com%2ftag%2falways%2520ten%2520feet%2520tall%2fmusic%2f&fromSearch=1**

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	14. Please Come Home For Christmas

**AN: Just to clear up some of the confusion we've been noticing amongst those who have not checked out our profile….Keepers of the Naughty Sparkle is a group thing...**

**That's right there are 3 of us budding little authooors. We are SnozzberryFaery aka Meg (fabulous author of Love, Loss, and the Impossible), TFX aka Trin, andpkitten21aka Katie.**

**Due to my OCD and anal retentive grammar nazi tendencies, we are re-editing our previously posted chapters to fix some errors. I will also be updating them to add which of us was the main contributor for each, although it should be said as well that we ALL contribute to each and every chapter. We all give our little two cents, and help each other out as needed.**

**We'd like to send a ginormous thank you to everyone who either nominated or voted for us at the Shimmer Awards – we won the Kiss award for Chapter 7's raunchy kiss in the play house!**

**We'd also like to ask for your understanding for the depressingly short update below – RL has kicked us in the ass, and between crotchety husbands, a combined six-pack of meddling kids, and work, our computer and writing time has been cut by more than half in the last three weeks. A more normal update will appear as per usual on Friday next week…**_**Christmas…**_

**Thanx – pkitten21**

**SM owns it, we merely fill the gaps with shmut and shmexin…well…except this week! *guilty shrug***

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**Chapter 14 – Please Come Home For Christmas **

**(EsmePOV)**

My phone chimed just as I shut the door on the Mercedes. I dug in my purse and looked at the screen…._Alice!_

"Good morning Alice," I answered as I clicked my seatbelt into place. "I wasn't expecting to hear from you again so soon. How are you?"

"I'm fabulous, busy as usual. The reason I called actually is because Jasper and I aren't going to be able to make it back to Forks for Christmas after all, and I wanted to let you know right away."

"Oh, well that's a shame dear. I was looking forward to having you around for this year's Christmas Eve party. Is everything all right?" I asked trying not to sound disappointed.

"Oh everything's fine. I got a call from my sister yesterday. She's apparently gotten herself knocked up, and Daddy's making her get leg-shackled right away. Since everyone was planning on coming home for Christmas, they decided that it would be the best time for the wedding. She's also asked me to design and make her dress, and I really need to be there for that. I'm sorry Daddy's back-woods, old fashioned sensibilities have put a damper on your party. I was really looking forward to helping you out."

_Shot-gun wedding? Who does that anymore? Thank God Alice isn't a prude like her dad. I hope Jasper gets along with him okay..._

"Don't worry about it. We have years of Christmas's ahead of us to party together. I know weddings don't fall into your normal design interests, are you excited about designing her dress? I think it sounds exciting!"

"I've never done a wedding gown before, so this will definitely be something new. Thank God she's not that far along. Maternity is completely out of my element. I wasn't planning on going there until absolutely necessary."

_Perfect opening my dear…_I started the car and backed out of the garage.

"Does that mean you and Jasper have already discussed my grandbabies? Carlisle and I have been taking bets as to which of our two sons would succumb to the ball and chain first, and when our first grandbaby would arrive. My money is on Edward and Bella, but after meeting you during the reunion weekend, Carlisle thinks you and Jasper will beat them to the altar _and_ the nursery."

"Between you and me I'd keep my money on Edward and Bella, as long as Bella get's her head out of her ass."

_Yes! I'm so going to win. Wait - _"Is she still letting that mother of hers influence her every decision?"_ Damn than woman!_

"You betcha! The girl can't get past her mother's mistakes to see the slice of heaven staring her in the fracking face."

_I've told her a thousand times, a lady never swears out loud…_

"Mary Alice, language dear. I don't care how you change it up; it's still an f-bomb. You're right, of course. I'd like to give Bella's mother a piece of my mind for screwing up her daughter's life, since it now screws with my son's happiness as well." _No one screws with my son's!_ I put the car in gear and headed towards the hospital.

"Well if you would ever like her number or address just let me know! I would love to see you give Renee an Esme Cullen smack down! God knows she deserves it! Anyway, I gotta go soon I'm almost to the studio. Thanks for understanding Esme. I was hoping you wouldn't mind if Jasper and I came up for New Years instead?"

_Maybe I will finally have my whole family together after all…_"That would be lovely. Oh, maybe Edward and Bella would be able to join us as well, I would love to have the entire family together. Do you know if they already have plans?"

"I _would_ happen to know, but Edward has sworn me to secrecy, so if you want to know what their plans are you'll have to ask him."

"Thanks for the hint. I think I will. I'll need to call him anyway and confirm his plans for Christmas. Is Bella going to Renee's, or coming home to Forks?" Please, please, please?

"I'm pretty sure she's decided to go to Forks. She had a rather unpleasant conversation with Renee yesterday, so she's probably going to avoid that situation for as long as possible. Between you and me, I think she could use a little advice and support from a positive mother figure…you know, since she's never really had one."

_Excellent! Maybe I can get some information out of Bella…_

"Maybe I can steal her away from Edward for a couple of hours if she comes for Christmas. Perhaps I can have her help me prepare the food for the party while Edward helps Carlisle with the furniture and decorations."

"Sounds perfect Esme, I've got to go. Let me know what your plans are once you talk to Edward."

"I will. Bye dear."

"Bye Esme."

_God I love that girl…she's perfect for my Jasper!_

_So Edward has a surprise in the works for Bella…I need to find out what's going on. I hope he's finally grown a pair big enough to take what he wants. This pussyfooting around has gone on for far too long. _

_I'm going to have to tread carefully to get him to spill…that will have to wait until later though, I have something special planned for Carlisle's lunch break. I hope he got the lock fixed on his office door… _

* * *

"Have a good afternoon darling." I whispered against his lips.

"I will now." He chuckled. "I'll be home by six-thirty, late dinner and a movie?"

"Sounds perfect. Do you mind if I use your office to call Edward before I leave? Alice called to let us know that she and Jasper had a change of plans for Christmas and I want to confirm Edward's plans." I said adjusting the knot of his tie.

"Go ahead. I have a couple of patients I need to check on." He said, giving me one more quick peck on the lips.

"You're not curious as to why they cancelled?"

"Of course, but I know you'll fill me in at dinner this evening." He said as he opened the door. "Go easy on him Esme."

_He knows me too well…_I picked up the hand set of his desk phone and started to dial when I heard the door open and Carlisle stuck his head back through the door.

"Make sure you wear the red ones tonight." He winked and then was gone.

_After almost thirty-five years, that man still surprises me._ _Great minds think alike I suppose. I'm glad he had the foresight to bring an extra tie. You'd think after all these years I'd remember to bring the tie and an extra pair of panties to our Thursday afternoon rendevouz…_

_Back to the business at hand…_I took out my phone and dialed my not-so baby boy. _If my sons are half as talented as their father is, those girls don't have a chance…_

"Hey Mom, what's up?"

"Hey honey, I just wanted to ask you a few questions about your Christmas plans," I asked cheerily.

"Sure Mom."

Let the games begin…I wonder what I can trick him into revealing…

"Jasper and Alice aren't coming home for Christmas. Alice's sister is apparently the victim of Daddy Brandon's antiquated idea of a romantic Christmas shotgun wedding, and Alice obviously needs to be there. Instead, they're coming to spend New Years with us. I just wanted to make sure your plans haven't changed. You're still coming home right?"

"Yeah, that's the plan. I'll be there on the twenty-third. My flight is supposed to arrive around 3:30 that afternoon."

_Start subtly…_

"Good. Your father will need help prepping the house for the Christmas Eve party. I just wanted to make sure you hadn't decided to join Bella at her mother's this year."

"Very subtle Mother. No, I'm not spending Christmas in Florida with Bella. She isn't going to Renee's either. She's going to be there in Forks, to spend Christmas with Charlie."

_Damn, too obvious…either I'm losing my touch or my brain is still addled from my afternoon delight. Slow it down._

"Since she'll be home for the holiday, would you mind extending an invitation to her and Charlie for our party? It would be an easy way to have them over without all that potential in-law pressure." _Well that certainly wasn't any more subtle – you are losing your touch! Note to self – don't try motherly persuasion after multiple orgasms…_

"Mom, we talked about this at Thanksgiving. We still have a few hurdles to cross before we're even close to _that_ situation. The 'L' word hasn't even officially come up yet, at least not in the right way. Bella still isn't completely comfortable with openly expressing it."

_He needs to stop babying her and lay it all on the line._ "Not having said the words doesn't erase what's been in your heart for years. So what if you haven't said it out loud? We've all known how you both felt since high school. I'd just hoped one of you might have grown a pair in the last couple of weeks."

"I already explained this to you. I have to take things slow. This isn't a normal long distance relationship. I'm also battling _years_ of Renee's influence."

_Time for a different tactic, just be honest._

"Alright, I'll stop pushing. I've just waited so long for this, I have a hard time reining in my excitement. I just want to _finally_ see you happy. Since Jasper and Alice are coming for New Years, will you be joining us as well? It would be nice to have all of us together for one of the holidays."

"I'm sorry to have to disappoint you, but I'm pretty sure Bella and I already have plans."

_Maybe I will get some info out of him…_

"That sounds kind of uncertain…should I plan just in case?" I asked hopefully.

"No, I have something else in the works for Bella and I at the moment. I just have a few more details to iron out."

_Yes! Maybe he has grown a pair after all!_

"Oooh! What do you have planned? Is this going to be the big 'I love you' moment, because I know this great little place. Your father took me there when he -"

"Mom, please, I'd kind of like to keep that between Bella and me for now."

_Ugh, thwarted! This was so much easier when he was younger. _

"Fine, spoil all my fun. Forgive your meddling mother?"

"I always do, and I swear you'll be the first to know when I'm ready to gossip about the details of my relationship."

"I'll hold you to that." I smiled.

"I know you will."

_Perhaps I can get Bella to spill if he won't…_

"Alright, I guess I'll let you go. Wait! Would you mind giving me Bella's number? Alice was supposed to help me cook for the party, and now that she's not coming, maybe Bella can help instead. I could ask for her help and extend the invitation for her and Charlie to join us myself."

"Alice was going to help you out with the party? Have you been dipping into Dad's stash of sample meds? You wouldn't even let Tanya help out and she was my Fiancé!"

_Tanya wouldn't have known a vegetable peeler from a paring knife…_

"Well, Alice and I are really close, we talk all the time. Tanya _obviously_ didn't know her way around a kitchen. Besides, I didn't like Tanya. I do like Alice."

"You and Alice talk all the time? You met her once, for like an hour, after she ummm…bedded your son, in your house…"

_Bedded? I can't believe he still gets uncomfortable talking about sex…_I rolled my eyes.

"Why is that so hard to believe? Alice and I get along very well, and for your information we chatted for three hours, not one, after your father walked in on them. Besides, you know how your brother is. He brought her _home_ with him. That meant she was different than his normal flavor of week. Remember son, a mother _always_ knows." I smirked.

"How can I forget?"

"Now, how about that number?" I reminded him.

"I'll give it to you, but only if you promise not to pry. I don't need any extra help. Renee's stellar influence has made this a delicate situation, so I need to follow Bella's cues."

"You have my word, no meddling." _At least not too much, _Bella always was a sucker for my secret recipes…_better wait until your brain has cleared from the Carlisle sex induced haze though or you'll be just as unsuccessful with her as you were with Edward._

* * *

_9:30 a.m., according to Alice this is usually the best time of day to get a hold of Bella. Here goes…let's hope the powers of persuasion are a little more subtle and spot-on today…_

I dialed the number Edward gave me as I sipped my morning tea.

"Esme? Is everything alright? Is Edward okay?"

_What?_

"Of course everything's alright. Edward's fine. Why wouldn't he be?" I asked.

"I, ah, just thought, um…I wasn't expecting you to call me, so I was a little worried when I saw your name on the caller ID."

_Now that's telling…_

"I'm sorry dear. I didn't mean to scare you. I wanted to ask you something, and I got your number from Edward, I hope that's okay?" I smiled.

"No, that's fine Esme. I don't mind at all."

_Remember, no overt meddling._

"I just spoke with Edward and confirmed your plans to come back to Forks for the holiday. I was hoping you and Charlie could join us for our Annual Christmas Eve party."

"Thank you Esme, I'll have to check with Charlie to see if he's working, but I'd love to come."

_Palm of your hand..._

"Great, I can't wait to see you again. I was so sorry that I'd missed you during the reunion, and then I'd hoped Edward would have brought you by at Thanksgiving, but he kept you all to himself. I've missed our little chats." I said, taking another sip from my steaming cup.

"It will be nice to see you again as well. I've missed tricking you into giving away all of your baking secrets."

I chuckled. "I have too dear, which reminds me. Since Alice and Jasper aren't coming, I'm going to need help getting ready for the party. Alice was going to help me in the kitchen. Would you mind lending a hand?"

_This is going to be so easy!_

"Are you kidding? I'd love to. I'd kill for a chance to ferret out more of your secret recipes."

_So easy…_

"I don't mind sharing my secrets with you Bella, that's the only reason you were able to get some of them in the first place." I replied honestly.

"Thanks Esme. I have to go, I have a meeting with our distributor, but I'll talk to you soon, okay?"

"Alright, I'll see you at Christmas."

_Now as long as Edward cooperates on Christmas Eve and leaves her alone with me, I just might be able to find out how close she is to joining the family at last. _

_God I hope this works out, Edward would be more miserable now without her than he's been for the past ten years…_

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**AN: This chapter is brought to you by Bon Jovi – **_**Please Come Home for Christmas**_** and pkitten21 – bless her half-assed sad attempt at a filler chapter!**

**Thanks to all those who read and a special thanks to all those who review, we really enjoy hearing what you like about our story. You brought us above 1000 on that last chapter – thanks for sticking with us and telling your friends!!!**


	15. Thank God It's Christmas

**AN: We've been nominated in several categories for The Moonlight Awards. Voting is open until Sept. 1st and can be found here: www(dot)themoonlightawards(dot)yolasite(dot)com/vote(dot)php**

**We're up for:  
Best Bella Incomplete  
Best Canon Pairing Incomplete  
Best Edward Incomplete**

**Stephenie Meyer gave us Edward, the Naughty Sparkle gives you nerd-a-licious.**

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**Chapter 15 – Thank God It's Christmas**

**(BPOV)**

The call from Esme had thrown me for a loop. I hadn't really talked to her in so long, that when I'd seen her name on the Caller ID my heart felt like it had literally stopped beating. My first coherent thought had been that something must have happened to Edward. I couldn't fathom any other reason for her to call me. I was instantly petrified that I'd lost him, but she'd eased my fears almost as quickly as they popped into my head.

I was honored that she chose to call me herself to ask Charlie and I to join them for the legendary Cullen Christmas Eve party. Edward had told me about them in high school, but I was never able to attend because I'd had to go to Renee's. Charlie had even opted to take the midnight shift so that he could attend. Not only was I finally going to enjoy one of Esme's parties, but she'd also asked me to help her prepare for it. That was the true honor.

I'd always gotten along well with Esme when Edward and I had studied at their home back in high school. She'd made me feel welcomed and comfortable, like I was actually part of the family in some way. For a short time she had been the mother I'd always wanted, and I'd felt like the daughter she'd never been able to have.

When she'd found out I liked to cook, and was largely responsible for the meals in Charlie's home, she'd invited me to help cook dinner and sometimes dessert. I'd learned so much from her. She'd transformed my interest in cooking to a love and enjoyment of the culinary arts. I'd even toyed with the idea of attending culinary school after getting my bachelors degree in business, but then I'd met Alice freshman year…I still enjoyed cooking, but rarely indulged in the pleasure.

I was definitely looking forward to indulging myself in her state of the art kitchen. Alice and I had a nice kitchen in our apartment, but Esme's custom chef's kitchen was _designed_ for cooking. Spending time at the Cullen's home also meant that I'd be spending my Christmas Eve with Edward, and I couldn't think of a more perfect way to spend the holiday.

"What are you smiling at Bells?" Alice asked, suddenly appearing in my bedroom doorway. "I hope you're not too lost in your Edward fantasies, it's time to leave for the airport and I don't have time to wait for you to cuddle your kitty before we leave."

I picked up the nearest object and chucked it at her. She was lucky I had bad aim and it was only a pillow. "Not every fantasy has to be about sex Alice. I was only thinking about how much I'm looking forward to spending Christmas Eve at the Cullen's."

"Please, Bella. Even that includes Edward, which would eventually lead to remembering how well that walking god knows how to use his all-day sucker. So yes, every fantasy does lead to sex," she said. "Are you ready to go? I don't want to miss my flight. Jasper is meeting me at the airport in Biloxi. We haven't seen each other in three weeks, and I don't want to make him wait."

_Tell me how hard-up you are when it's been more than six weeks, then maybe I'd be a little more sympathetic._

"Sure, let's go." I got up from my bed. "Do you think Jasper's ready to deal with the circus that is Ma and Pa Brandon's at Christmas?"

"I'm not giving him a choice. If he can figure out how to get along with Daddy while he's at his most ignorant, then he'll be fine," she said, walking ahead of me to the foyer.

"Does he know you won't be sharing a bed for the next two weeks?" I chuckled, as I followed her out.

"I think the impromptu shot-gun wedding we're attending gave him an inkling," she laughed back, "which is exactly why I don't want to make him wait."

"Holy Hell Alice, two bags? How are you going to make it for two weeks at home, and then a week in Forks, with only two bags? I asked, looking at the shockingly small amount of luggage piled next to our apartment door.

"Amazing isn't it? Actually I had everything else shipped out on Monday. I had too much to take on the plane. Besides, I wasn't going to trust the baggage handlers with my design equipment."

"Alright, let's get you out of here." I grabbed one of the suitcases and headed towards the elevator.

* * *

The last week and a half in Miami had flown by without Alice at the studio. I was beyond busy and had barely had enough time to talk to Edward in the evenings before crashing at night. In addition to our normal operations, we'd had an incredible offer to expand our business cross-country. The details were still very sketchy, but I was excited to speak with Alice about it during New Years. I needed her opinion on the initial paperwork before I was ready to schedule a follow-up meeting with the investor.

Sue picked me up at the airport on the evening of the twenty-second. Usually Charlie and Sue would drop my truck off at the overnight lot, so I could drive myself home, but since my truck was still at Emmett and Rose's shop, I'd needed a lift, for which I will forever be grateful. Apparently they were having a hard time finding some of the necessary parts to fix the engine. _How hard can it be to fix a beat up old Chevy?_

I spent the twenty-third finishing up some last minute shopping with Sue. Thank God for Sue. She was one of the few people I'd met that shared my opinion of holiday shopping – get in, get out, stick to your list. I didn't think I could have muddled through the grouchy shoppers with Alice in tow—or I guess it would probably have been me in tow, but whatever. I could never stand the greedy, ignorant attitude of most last minute shoppers. I preferred to either shop online or go mid-week, in the morning, a month ahead of time when everyone else was still at work. I had actually purchased Edward's gift weeks ago, but it required a small addition that I could only purchase in Port Angeles.

I got up early the morning of Christmas Eve. I'd had a hard time sleeping, even though I was jet-lagged and exhausted, but I was so excited to see Edward, and spend some time with Esme, that I couldn't stay in bed. Edward was picking me up at 7 a.m. so Esme and I could get an early start on the party preparations. I hadn't seen him since we'd parted at Thanksgiving, and I missed him entirely too much for my own peace of mind.

My only hope was that we could enjoy the holiday without things getting too heavy. There were still issues floating around that needed to be dealt with, and I knew they couldn't be avoided forever. I just wanted to see him and spend time with him without any tension. I still wasn't sure how comfortable I was with verbally expressing our feelings. I knew that I loved him, and he loved me as well – he'd outright told me he did back in August — but those feelings had been undeveloped, and could not compare to the depth of love that had evolved over the past months. Even if he hadn't said anything since — unless you count his "slip-up" on our date at Thanksgiving, which I didn't — it really wasn't the same thing.

He'd looked like a deer in headlights when he said the "L" word. I think he'd been terrified of scaring me off if he expressed his feelings too soon. He was trying to give me space, taking things slow, which is exactly what I'd asked for, only…I was just now figuring out that it wasn't what I really wanted.

Even if I craved the words, I was still terrified thinking about how confessing that would complicate things, and how much more difficult the distance would be to bear once those three words passed our lips. My greatest fear was the possibility that when he did tell me he loved me, I would ruin the moment and hurt his feelings if my fear took over and I was unable to tell him how much I loved him in return. I wanted to reciprocate, I just didn't know if I could.

I was pulled from my thoughts when I heard Edward pull up, and I was out the door before he reached the porch.

"Hey," his smile widened when he saw me approach.

I placed my hand on his cheek and brushed my lips gently against his before wrapping my arms around him and burrowing my head into his jacket covered chest.

"I missed you," I whispered.

He wrapped his arms around me and gently squeezed. "Me too, my Bella."

"Let's go,"I sighed. "I'm sure Esme is waiting for me."

"You have no idea." He chuckled quietly as he opened the car door. "She's been up since five getting everything organized for the day."

"No wonder she and Alice get along so well. Remind me to make myself scarce if they ever plan a party together."

"I'll make sure we're both scarce," he said with a wink.

I hadn't been to the Cullen's home since the day I'd left our picture on the porch after graduation. I was a little nervous about what to expect from Esme. I'd always been comfortable with her before, when I was just Edward's friend, but now I was his girlfriend and that implied a different ball game altogether. I knew I shouldn't be worried, my most recent conversations with her had seemed very comfortable and casual, but I was still feeling a little overwhelmed.

_It's not like you haven't met them before, and you know she already likes you, so there's nothing to be nervous about._ I took a deep breath and smiled as Edward opened the door for me. He took my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

As we approached the door Edward turned and cupped my face with both hands.

"There is absolutely nothing for you to be nervous about. My mother hasn't changed all that much in the last ten years, and she still absolutely adores you, so does dad." He pecked me on the lips and re-entwined his fingers with mine as we stepped through the door.

"Edward? Bella? Is that you?" Esme asked as she peeked out of the kitchen doorway. "Bella, thank God you're here! I've got everything set up. We're going to have to get crackin' if we're going to get all of this food prepared before this evening's festivities. Edward, Carlisle is upstairs in the attic waiting for you."

As Esme ducked back into the kitchen, Edward gave my hand one more reassuring squeeze and a quick peck on the lips. "I guess I'll see you later…duty calls…"

I stayed a moment and watched as Edward made his way up the stairs, he'd looked like a little boy being sent to time out, then I took a bolstering breath and crossed into Esme's territory.

As soon as I stepped across the threshold, I felt two arms gather me into a crushing hug. "I'm so glad you're finally here dear," Esme murmured as she gently rocked us back and forth.

She grabbed my upper arms and locked her gaze onto mine. "You've grown up to be more beautiful than you were in school, and I can see why you've re-captured his attention after all of these years." She said, sounding slightly choked-up.

She released my arms and turned. "Are you ready to get down to business? I've got a lot planned, and I think if your skills aren't too rusty we can get it all done."

_Ready as I'll ever be…_ "Sure, where do you want me to start?"

"Why don't you start chopping up the pecans, while I finish up with the prosciutto wraps. I've already made the Egg Nog and kabobs, but we still have to make the buttered rum, spinach dip and pralines."

I let out a deep breath and grabbed the apron she handed me as I walked to the sink. After I'd pulled it over my head, I noticed the words 'Mrs. Cullen' embroidered in calligraphy on the top._ Great I was going to have Edward's family name blazing across my breasts all day. Is she torturing us on purpose? Be nice, Esme isn't like that…_

"By the way, thank you for letting Charlie bring Sue with him to the party tonight." I said washing my hands.

"It's not a problem Bella, it's nice to see the Chief found someone after all his years alone. In fact, I was hoping to convince you all to join us again for Christmas dinner tomorrow night. I know Charlie has to work tonight, and you being without your truck, I thought it might be easier if you stayed the night too, and then Charlie and Sue would be able to join us when he gets up in the afternoon."

_She's inviting me to stay the night… Shitballs! What do I say?_

Glad that my back was still facing her I closed my gaping mouth before turning to answer. "Um…are you sure? We wouldn't want to impose on your family Christmas." I managed to stammer.

"It's never an imposition to have family over for a holiday meal, and Carlisle and I have considered you a part of the family since you and Edward were in school together. Besides, with Jasper and Alice unable to join us, that leaves only Edward, Carlisle and I to enjoy our meal together. The house will feel so empty." She said, pausing in her ministrations. "I know you and Charlie will be alone, and having you join us would make it feel more like Christmas. I know Sue has some family down at La Push, but she is more than welcome to join us as well."

"I'd love to have dinner with you tomorrow Esme, I'll check with Charlie and Sue later. We were just going to have dinner at our house, just the three of us, since Sue's kids decided to go on a volunteer trip for the holidays instead of coming home from college."

_Now what was that about staying the night? How awkward would that be?_ I walked over to the counter and grabbed a knife and cutting board.

"Umm...about staying the night…are you sure? I didn't bring anything with me this morning except for a change of clothes for the party tonight, and I'm sure it wouldn't be a problem for Edward to take me home after the party…that's what we were planning on anyway." I said hesitantly, as I started to chop the bag of pecans. I glanced up quickly trying to gauge her reaction.

_She's so hard to read…_

"Nonsense. The party will end quite late and I'm sure you'll both be very tired. Charlie and Sue could bring you an overnight bag when they come this evening." She paused again, and looked me squarely in the eye. "I know Edward would love to have you."

_Say again? Edward would what?! _I just stared at her.

"We're making my secret recipe cinnamon rolls this afternoon for tomorrow's breakfast, it would be a shame for you to miss them. Edward and Carlisle will eat the whole pan if we ladies don't get to them first." She smiled and winked, and then went back to chopping asparagus.

_What is up with the Goddamned winking around here? First Dad back at Thanksgiving, when Edward picked me up for our date, then Sue when we were shopping yesterday, and now Esme._ I knew that it was obvious that we'd been having sex, but the implication in Esme's statement was unnerving. I'd never had a parental figure let on that they knew I was sexually active, especially with their own son! _We're adults, it's okay…_

"I'm sure he would." I smirked, and immediately turned red when I realized what I'd said. "I mean, I'm sure I can work something out with Sue. I'dbehappytostay." _Fuck!_

"Um…I'm done with the pecans. Do you want me to chop up anything else for this recipe?" I asked hurriedly, trying to change the subject.

"Just the pecans," She chuckled.

_Oh fuck, she's laughing at me!_

"Did you chop both bags? We'll need them for the mini-tarts and the cinnamon rolls."

"Yeah, both bags."

"Good. Why don't you start with the crust for the tarts. The recipe is in the pile to your left, and the pans are under the island to the right."

I rifled through Esme's pile of secret recipes until I found the one for the mini-pecan tarts. We both worked quietly for a few minutes, comfortable in the silence and each other's company.

"So Bella, tell me about your work. Alice has told me about the creative side of the business, but I'd like to know what you do."

"Well," I said kneading the pastry dough, I'm pretty much in charge of the money side of the operation. "I take care of the accounting and inventory aspect and deal with our vendors mostly. I also handle all of the details of our shows and events."

"That must keep you very busy." She noted, while arranging hors d'oeuvres on a crystal tray.

"Unfortunately yes, it doesn't allow a lot of leeway in my work week. Alice keeps me grounded though, and won't allow me to overwork myself. I'm lucky to have her as a partner."

"She said the same thing about you. You compliment each other well, no wonder you've become such a success."

"Actually, I think things are about to get even better. At least I hope they will." I smiled, as I mixed the filling for the tarts. "We've recently gotten an offer from a potential investor that could give us an edge against our competition."

"Congratulations dear, that's wonderful news."

"Thanks." I started spooning the filling into the miniature crusts.

After a few minutes Esme broke the silence. "Well? Are you going to give me any details? You can't leave me hanging like that, it's too exciting!"

"Oh, sorry." I apologized as I scraped the last of the pecan filling into the pans. "There's really not much to tell yet, at least not that I can talk about during negotiations. We've talked to the investor before, at our Spring show, but nothing really came of it until our Fall line premiered at the end of September.

I just got the first draft of paperwork right before I flew up. I'm hoping to get a chance to go over it with Alice before New Years."

"It sounds very exciting, I hope it works out for you both."

"Oh! That reminds me, a rather large package arrived for you earlier this week." She said, her eyes twinkling, as I pulled out the next recipe and started adding the ingredients to a bowl. "It's from Alice. I put it up in Edward's room for you."

_A large package from Alice? I hope she didn't do anything too outrageous…_

Just as I started the mixing the cookie dough with Esme's hand mixer, I felt a pair of arms slip around my waist startling me. I dropped the mixer flinging batter in a wide arc.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you not to sneak up on someone while they're cooking?" I gasped, wiping batter off of my nose.

"Sorry," he chuckled.

"Edward, be nice to her." Esme chided.

"I am nice to her mom!" He said giving me a quick squeeze before whispering in my ear. "I'm very, very nice, aren't I Bella?"

"Edward!" I hissed quietly, knowing my face was already beet red.

"So, how are our girls?" Carlisle asked, joining us in the kitchen.

"Making headway, as long as Edward doesn't make Bella spill any more batter." Esme smiled and kissed Carlisle quickly before turning her attention back to the spinach and watercress. "Edward, I saw that. No snitching, we need that for the party."

"Just one?" He asked sweetly, reaching for one of the prosciutto wraps.

"No, I'm going to fix lunch in a bit. Why don't you take that tray out to the fridge in the garage." She smiled just as sweetly back. "There's a box of Mistletoe from The Fern Gallery. Bring it back and you and Carlisle can hang them up. By the time you're done I'll have lunch waiting."

"Hold on a minute Edward, I'll get the doors for you." I rushed ahead of him.

He quickly placed the tray in the fridge and retrieved the box from the florists while I waited for him by the door. He turned around and stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes drawn to my chest.

_Fuck!_ I'd completely forgotten about the 'Mrs. Cullen' labeling my chest.

His eyes didn't waver from their focal point as he slowly walked over to me with a slight smile gracing his lips.

"That has to be the sexiest fucking thing I've ever seen." He placed the box on the work bench and traced his fingers lightly across the lettering covering my breasts. "You need to wear this later. Nothing else. Just this."

"I didn't know domesticity turned you on. Do you really think I can sneak Esme's apron out of her kitchen without her knowledge?"

"It's not the apron Bella, seeing you wearing my name, I don't know…I can't explain it." He finally looked up staring intensely in my eyes.

I stared back nervously, both dreading and hoping that this was _the_ moment…and then he fucking laughed.

"What?" the confusion evident in my voice.

"You have a little bit of batter…" he chuckled, pointing at my face.

"What? Where?" I brushed at my face.

"Here, let me." He said.

Instead of using his finger to remove the batter, he leaned in and gently sucked my ear lobe. Was there really batter there, or did he just use that as an excuse to mess with my composure?

"We'd better get back in there before mom sends my dad out to find us." He whispered against my ear before retrieving the box of mistletoe and nonchalantly passing me on his way through the door.

_Oh you're so going to pay for that later… _

I cautiously followed Edward back into the kitchen, fully prepared for the comments to fly. At least I thought I was.

Apparently now that we were adults, Esme and Carlisle felt comfortable teasing us to the point of embarrassment.

"If you two want to have time for that later we'll have to get back to work, otherwise none of us are getting any tonight." Carlisle smirked.

_That's definitely a mood killer._

"Dad…" Edward warned. He started to lean in for what I assumed would have been a small peck on the lips, but when Esme sighed he must have thought better of it and pulled away. He gave me one last look before he followed Carlisle out of the kitchen.

"He really loves you, you know."

"I know." I whispered. _I really love him too._ I turned back to the island and started to clean up the batter.

After I'd wiped up the mess I'd made when I dropped the mixer, I helped Esme prepare lunch. She took the sandwiches we'd made to wherever Edward and Carlisle had gone to hang the mistletoe while I continued on with our tasks. Esme didn't mention Edward again throughout the afternoon until she'd let me go shower and dress for the party.

I stepped onto the landing and followed Esme's directions to Edward's bedroom. Edward had taken my bag up earlier so I could use his shower and change before the party began.

Esme and I had been slaving in the kitchen all day, and only had a few things to finish that could be put together right before serving. I'd enjoyed baking and chatting with her. She was a very perceptive woman, and a very subtle manipulator. She'd had me spilling my guts with very little effort. I could only hope to be half the mother she is one day.

A vision of a bronze-haired, green eyed boy pushing cute little glasses up his nose floated through my mind.

_Where did that come from? I think my biological clock just started ticking and the cuckoo bird was chanting 'Edward'?_

I'd never thought too seriously about it before, as I was afraid to fail them as colossally as my mother had failed me. I didn't want to fuck them up, and perpetuate my insecurities and hang-ups into another generation, but thinking about it…I could picture them, where I'd never been able to visualize them before now. If I was going to have children, I couldn't picture having them with anyone other than Edward, but how could I picture having them at all? How could I find balance in my personal life and professional life at the same time? Would it be possible, or would I be making a mistake?

I shook my head, trying to rid my mind of my heavy thoughts. I didn't need this right now. I was about to spend a wonderful evening with the man I cared most for in the world, along with our families and friends, the last thing I needed was to dwell on the _what if's_ that plagued my life.

A feeling of anticipation swept over me as I opened the door to Edward's childhood bedroom. I wondered how much it might have changed since he left to start life on his own and if there was anything left of the boy I once knew. I'd never gotten a chance to see his room when we were in high school. We'd both insisted on keeping our study sessions to the common rooms of the house. I now knew we'd both been afraid of what might happen, or even not happen, if we were alone.

I looked around the neat and orderly room. There were very few remnants of his childhood scattered about; a couple of family vacation photos, Edward and Jasper at Boy Scout camp with Carlisle…and Esme?

_Esme was a den mother? Wow._

…and a picture of Edward at his nerdiest, the summer right before we had met, all tricked out in his yuppie uniform for Blue Lake Fine Arts Camp. He was sitting on a bench in front of a grand piano wearing a white short-sleeved polo with the camp logo and a blue fucking cashmere sweater draped over his shoulders and tied in the front. Not even his fuck-hot glasses and sexy floppy hair could redeem that outfit. I ran my finger over the photo and remembered that he'd gone to study piano and composition every summer until Jasper had broken his fingers when he'd slammed them in the bedroom door during one of their many scuffles. He'd said he'd actually hated it anyway, he felt he wasn't as good as everyone claimed him to be. I think that's why he'd gone into the business side of health care as well. The injury probably prevented him from becoming a surgeon like Carlisle.

I turned and saw a paper attached to the bulletin board above his desk and recognized it immediately. It was our senior government project. We'd both been so proud when we were the only ones to ever receive an A+ in Mr. M's class. He was our favorite teacher, always mumbling comments about his plot of weed growing in the forest and we'd always believed his mug of 'water' actually contained something a bit stronger…

I heard a thump and turned to notice a door slightly ajar at the other end of the room. For the first time, I could hear the sounds of the shower running coming from within. So Edward was already finished and getting ready? _Esme really is rather sneaky. _No wonder she'd given me another wink when she sent me off to "enjoy" my shower. _Thank you Esme, I think I might. It's time for a little payback…_

I crossed the room and quietly opened the door to Edward's bathroom. Even with the fan running, the room was already steamed up and teeming with heat. I could see the outline of his form through the glass blocks of his shower wall. He was standing under the stream of water leaning both arms against the wall.

_Fucking provocative._

I don't think I'd ever seen anything quite as sexy as his blurred form being consumed by rivulets of hot steamy water.

_Maybe he needs help washing his...back?_

I quietly let my clothes slip to the floor and padded my way over to the shower entrance hoping to surprise him. He was completely lost in his own world as I made my way up behind him.

_Lucky me…or should I say lucky him?_

He tensed slightly and then relaxed, as I carefully slid my hands up to his shoulders from his lower back. Slipping one arm under his to splay my hand across his abs, I used the other as leverage to lean against him and stretch my body up so I could whisper in his ear.

"You look deep in thought. Is there some way I can help you?" I licked the water rivulets trickling down his neck right below his ear and inched my hand downwards until I reached his already rigid cock.

His breath hitched, and his body tensed while I slowly slid his length through my fist. I pushed my fingers into his wet hair and pulled his head backwards so I could reach his lips with my own while I languidly stroked his erection.

"Mmmm, Bella that feels so-"

I gently tugged on his hair to get his attention as I cut him off, never loosening my grip, "No talking."

I continued stroking him slightly increasing my pace as I placed soft kisses and slow licks across his shoulders and back.

My own breath deepened as his moans and quiet grunts escalated, letting me know he was close. Knowing that I had this much control over his body was so much more than a turn-on.

My own body felt flushed and I could feel my legs quiver with the need I felt deep inside, but this wasn't about me, I wanted this to be all about Edward. I'd get my chance later tonight…hopefully.

I pressed my body as close to his as I could possibly get and increased both the pressure and the pace of my hand. His body shuddered as he came and I reveled in the feel of his hot load on my hand.

_I did that. I made him lose control. Me._

I rinsed my hand in the falling water and then turned him to face me. Wiping the shower droplets from his face, I looked into his eyes commanding him to understand all that I felt and wanted to, but couldn't say.

He palmed my face between his hands, and rested his forehead on mine with a whispered 'thank you', before enveloping me in a tight and loving embrace. He didn't need to say the words, I could feel them everywhere our skin touched.

* * *

Dad and Sue were the first to arrive for the party. I greeted Sue and thanked her for bringing the extra change of clothes.

"Anytime Bella," she said as she winked.

_For Christ's sake, what the fuck is with the goddamn winking?! If one more person winks at me in reference to Edward, I swear I'm going to wink back and ask if they'd like to watch._

"Charlie…Sue, thank you so much for coming tonight and agreeing to share our holiday meal tomorrow." Esme greeted them warmly.

"Thank you for the invitation Esme, Charlie and I are happy to celebrate with you." Sue replied, hanging their coats in the closet.

"Charlie, the guys are in the living room if you'd like to join them. Sue, would you like to join Bella and I in the kitchen? We were just finishing up some last minute preparations," Esme offered.

Sue followed Esme, and I quickly stashed my clothes in Edward's room before making my way back to the kitchen where I found them with their heads together giggling like school girls.

_I don't think I want to know_, I inwardly rolled my eyes.

"Bella, would you mind setting out the prosciutto wraps, and then getting the Egg Nog from the extra fridge in the garage?" Esme asked still giggling. "Put it next to the Hot Buttered Rum."

As I walked into the dining room, I overheard my dad ask Carlisle if the dining room table was an antique, and then heard someone choke.

"You alright there Edward?" My dad asked.

"Ughem…fine…kugh…Thanks Chief Swan…ughem…just went down the wrong pipe." He gasped.

"After surviving our last conversation, I think you've earned the right to call me Charlie, Edward."

"Thanks Charlie."

_Their last conversation? When did Edward and Dad have a conversation? I hope he didn't break out the twelve gauge like he did on Mike…_

I walked back into the kitchen and the guests started to arrive.

With the party in full swing, and my catering duties fulfilled, I was finally able to find Edward amongst the guests. He was deep in conversation with Reverend Weber, and as soon as I was near enough he drew me to his side, wrapping his free arm around my waist.

"Bella, how are you? It's been a long time." Mr. Weber asked, including me in their conversation.

"I'm well, thank you. How is Angela? I'd hoped to see her and Ben this evening."

"Their boy, Jack, has a rather severe case of the Chicken Pox I'm afraid. She was disappointed she couldn't come this year. Make sure you give her a call while you're in town, she'd love to hear from you."

"I will, thank you." I smiled genuinely.

Mr. Weber hadn't changed much over the years, except for a slightly more rounded middle.

_Wait, is that what I think it is? _

I tried to casually look around while sneaking an inspection of his belt buckle. It was silver with a Christmas design that looked like…_Oh. My. God!_

It was all I could do to contain my laughter. Either Angie's dad, the good reverend, was completely oblivious to the subtle reference his belt buckle made, or he was a kinky mother fucking man of God! Engraved on his belt buckle, and colored with the customary green and red, was a perfect etching of a rather large sprig of mistletoe…

Edward could sense my amusement, and kept looking at me out of the corner of his eye. As soon as I was able, I extricated us from the situation with another promise to get in touch with Angela, and spent the rest of the evening mingling amongst the other guests, either pressed into his side, or with my fingers interlaced with his.

Dad and Sue left around ten-thirty, and the rest of the guests followed, trickling out an hour later. Esme had been cleaning up throughout the evening, as serving dishes emptied so there wasn't much to clean-up.

"Thank you so much for all your help today, Bella." She whispered, as she squeezed me tightly in an affectionate hug. "Merry Christmas, dear. We'll see you two in the morning."

"Go ahead and sleep-in. Without Jasper there's no pressure to be up early." Carlisle added before they started for their room.

Edward and I wished them a Merry Christmas as well and then made the short trek up to his room.

I was feeling a bit nervous. This was my first time spending the night under the same roof as my significant other _and_ his parents. _Thank God Edward's room was at the opposite end of the house and on a different floor than his parent's bedroom._ I would have been too embarrassed to stay in Edward's room otherwise. I didn't want them to hear us, and I certainly didn't want to take the chance of hearing them…it was awkward enough for me without adding anything else to the mix.

By the time we'd readied ourselves for bed, we were both too tired for Santaward to hide his lump of coal in my hello kitty stocking.

Instead we settled into bed in what I'd learned, the last few times we'd been together, was Edward's favorite sleeping position. Apparently it was easier for him to fall asleep if he cupped one of my breasts while spooning. Perhaps a little caveman-like, but endearing, and the contentment I felt having his body wrapped around mine made it my favorite as well.

The last thing I remembered before slipping off into sweet oblivion was Edward's whisper in my ear as he placed a gentle kiss on the side of my head.

"Sweet dreams, sweetheart."

I woke in the dim early morning light to Edward's hands gliding up and down my skin in a gentle caress. The heat of his body pressed against mine combined with the sensations his hands left as they slowly flitted along my curves quickly left me eager to find the release I'd missed out on the previous afternoon.

"Mmmm." I moaned, encouraging him to continue his stroking.

He increased his movements running trails with his hands all over my body until I pushed my hips back to meet his to let him know I was awake and willing.

He quickly pushed my panties down to a point where I could flick them the rest of the way off. I pushed back against him, causing him to moan in response.

"Mmmm, Edward-" I murmured, noticing that he'd already removed his boxers.

"Shh, no talking." He cut me off with a whisper of his own, rubbing his hardened cock in between my thighs.

_Yes sir_, my own words came back to haunt me.

He quickly slipped inside me, gently thrusting his hips against my ass, while continuing his sensual caressing.

I reveled in the sensations of his hands and body, panting my encouragement as I neared my orgasm.

He skimmed his hand down to my aching clit, circling it with the pad of his finger. I matched the pace of his thrusts urging him on with the movements of my hips.

Snaking my hand back and into his hair, Edward dropped his mouth to my neck, biting softly, causing me to moan out loud. As if spurred on by the sound of my pleasure, he began to press into me deeper and at a more frenzied tempo.

I arched into him, my body demanding to be as close to his as possible as he drove into me powerfully, propelling us over the edge. I felt the vibrations of his moans against the skin of my neck as he clutched me to his body.

Our chests moved in unison as our breathing returned to a steady rhythm.

When I woke up again, sometime later, Edward was still clutching me to his chest. I reveled in the feeling of his arms around my body. I had never felt so content. I slowly rolled over, facing him, surprised to see that he was already awake.

We just stared at each other before his lips curved up into a soft smile."Thank you for staying with me last night."

"I wouldn't have passed up an opportunity to spend time with you. Are you crazy? With as little time as we get together, I wasn't going to waste a minute."I said reaching up to brush a few stray locks of hair away from his face

"You have no idea how it feels finally having you here in my room…finally lying with you here in my bed where I dreamed you'd be all those years ago." He brought his hand up running the tip of his index finger down my nose and across my lips. "Just being with you at all is the greatest gift I've ever been given."

He hesitated, stroking my face with his finger. He closed his eyes and I was sure that when he opened them he was going to say the words.

His lashes fluttered and he opened his eyes staring at me with an intensity I could feel deep inside. My heart swelled like it was too big to fit in my chest. I was ready.

He took a low shuddering breath and cupped my face, his thumb caressing my lower lip.

"Merry Christmas, my Bella."

* * *

**AN: This chapter is brought to you by Queen and the magical voice of the late, great Freddy Mercury – Thank God It's Christmas and our very own Grinch – pkitten21.**

**Now that we're almost all near our thirtysomethings, Reviews are better than Christmas presents – that is unless it's RPatz wrapped up in nothing but a fucking bow…**


	16. I Need To Know

**A/N: We just wanted to once again thank all our readers for making us feel loved every single week. Sometimes the chapters come easy, and other times it's like pulling teeth, but either way we are glad that our efforts are making you smile, laugh, or grab your significant other for a B/E special. **

**We are currently nommed ****in several categories for The Moonlight Awards. Voting is open until Sept. 1st and can be found here: www(dot)themoonlightawards(dot)yolasite(dot)com/vote(dot)php**

**We're up for:  
Best Bella Incomplete  
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**We own nothing. Stephanie gets paid, and we just get her characters laid. **

* * *

**Chapter 16 - I Need To Know**

**(EPOV)**

I was in absolute heaven.

_My_ Bella, was pressed up against me, completely, and utterly, naked.

I'd woken up in the early morning hours, our bodies pressed close. The feel of having her wrapped in my arms, the smell of her hair as it tickled my face and neck, knowing she'd been there all night, and would be there for the next week had sent my heart hammering inside my chest. The emotions that flooded through me left me almost gasping for breath and overwhelmed my senses with love.

As peaceful as she'd looked in sleep, I couldn't not touch her, the urge to express my feelings in some way superseded all else. She'd slowly awoken to my soft caresses, quickly joining me in one of the most intimate experiences of my life.

She'd fallen back asleep quickly, leaving me to further contemplate my thoughts and my love.

I'd been pleasantly surprised when she'd acquiesced to my mother's invitation to stay the night. I hadn't asked her myself because I knew that even though she knew my parents well, she was still a little shy about flaunting certain aspects of our relationship…or maybe it was _because_ she knew them well that she was shy about it. Even though I hadn't spent much time with her throughout the day yesterday, all the winking and innuendos that were sent her way did not escape my notice, not to mention the blatant teasing from my parents.

My parents were never exactly prudes where sex was concerned. They had always made Jasper and I feel comfortable enough that, had we wished to discuss anything with them, there wouldn't have been any awkwardness. Although they had made us comfortable enough to discuss sex, there was still a certain line that was clear we could not cross, at least until we'd left home.

As adults they were more free with their remarks and innuendo, and had no problem with the knowledge that we were both obviously sexually active. Unlike most parents, they were perfectly comfortable allowing us to share our beds, knowing the chances were high that we would make use of it.

Between the _Mrs. Cullen_ apron—my mother is not so sly as she'd like to think—and the hot-as-fuck hand job she'd surprised me with in the shower, I was never more glad when Bella had told me she was spending the night. I'd needed her near me. I would have even chanced staying at Charlie's last night if it had come down to it.

I relaxed my grip slightly, afraid that I was clutching her too tightly to my chest. I wanted her close, but not uncomfortable. This was definitely heaven, I had never felt so at peace. I felt her start to stir, and then she slowly rolled over, facing me, with a contented look in her eyes and a smile on her lips.

We just stared at each other, words unnecessary for a time. It was enough to just be.

Eventually I broke the silence. "Thank you for staying with me last night." I said, stroking her arm beneath the covers.

"I wouldn't have passed up an opportunity to spend time with you. Are you crazy? With as little time as we get together, I wasn't going to waste a minute." She said, and reached up to brush a few stray locks of hair away from my eyes.

The look on her face said it all. I knew she loved me. I just needed to say it, but I wasn't confident that I had the right words.

_This is it. You can do it – just try! Quit being a fucking coward!_

I took a deep breath, and prayed to whatever god above that I wouldn't fuck it up. It had to be perfect, she deserved perfect.

"You have no idea how it feels finally having you here in my room…finally lying with you here in my bed where I dreamed you'd be all those years ago. Just being with you at all is the greatest gift I've ever been given." I murmured as I swept my fingers over her beautiful face.

I closed my eyes, trying to get a grip on my emotions. My heart was about to hammer out of my chest for the second time this morning. I could feel my throat closing with apprehension.

I opened my eyes and stared at her trying to pour all the love I felt through my gaze. I gulped, trying to swallow the lump in my throat and caressed her perfect lips with my thumb.

_Fuuuuck! What if you're wrong? You'll ruin Christmas. Don't fuck it up!_

"Merry Christmas, my Bella."

I closed my eyes not wanting to see if I had made the wrong decision, and leaned in to capture her lips in a soft kiss.

"Merry Christmas, Edward." She whispered back against my lips before gently pulling away. She wrapped her arms around my neck, weaved her fingers through my hair– _God I love the feeling of her fingers in my hair._

I caught a glimpse of her eyes as she sighed and leaned her forehead against mine. They looked tight at the corners…almost tense? Was she disappointed that I didn't say it? Had I chosen poorly? I thought I had loved her before, but nothing compared to that moment when my breath caught earlier this morning. There were no words to explain how I felt about her, nothing could even come close, and I wouldn't be able to settle for pathetic finite terms of endearment much longer.

_Don't worry about that now cockstain…the moment's passed – anything you say now would sound trite and ingenuous. Do what you can to rectify the situation and rehash your cowardice later._

I sighed and I gave her a quick squeeze. "I guess we should be getting up. Dad's going to be chomping at the bit if mom made him wait for the cinnamon rolls."

"What time is it?" She stifled a yawn and rolled to her back.

I propped myself up and reached over her to check my phone. "Oh I'm sorry. There seems to be a spectacular pair of breasts in my way." I murmured as I rubbed my chest across hers suggestively. "Quarter after ten." I said as she giggled.

I threw off the covers and rolled towards her, making sure that every inch of our bodies touched as I got off the bed. As soon as I stood up, I reached for her hand and pulled her up to me for a quick kiss.

"I think it's time you quit tempting me with that body of yours or we'll have my dad up here looking for us," I said, and smacked her on her bare ass.

"I'm not the only one with tempting naughty bits." She replied and punctuated her point by giving El Capitán a firm squeeze. "Get dressed. I want to give you your present before we go down."

"Um, sorry, but you can't exactly say 'go down' while playing with my dick, and expect me to just drop the subject." The feel of her hands on my cock left me dazed and she dashed away before I could recapture her in my arms.

"As much as I like to look at your perfectly nude body, I'd rather do it in private. Put your pants back on so we can get this show on the road!" She teased and threw what she affectionately called my 'pee-paw pants' at my head.

"Oh, I see how it is," I said as I stalked towards her.

She giggled and ran to the bathroom, forcefully shutting the door before I could get to her.

"Payback's a bitch sweetheart," I called through the door as I reluctantly got dressed.

"You should know," came her muffled laugh through the door.

_If stroking my cock is what you call punishment, my dear, then bring. It. On! I'll take that sweet fucking torment anytime you want to dish it out…_

I quickly finished dressing, and retrieved the small envelope sized box from the suitcase in my closet. I made the bed and then waited for her to join me.

I was a bit nervous about the gift. I hadn't known what to get her, and I'd appealed to Alice for ideas. After careful consideration, and a bit of planning, Alice assured me that this was perfect. I hoped so, since I already felt like I'd fucked up by chickening out during what could have possibly been the most memorable moment of my life. Up until then, it had been the moment I felt her body mesh so completely with mine that first time the night of the reunion. Hearing her return the words in my heart would eclipse that moment ten-fold.

I would tell her before we parted ways after New Years. I was right in thinking there were no words to aptly express my love, but when the time came, the words would flow from my heart, and whatever they were, they would be perfect if she said them in return.

The door to the bathroom opened and she came out dressed in the most adorable pair of lounge pants that looked suspiciously similar to my own pee-paw pants, a t-shirt, and she'd pulled her hair up into a messy bun. She was looking a bit nervous as she approached the bed and pulled out a small box from behind her back.

"I know it's not much, but I wanted to give you something that would make you think of us…." She ducked her head sheepishly as she climbed onto my lap, giving me a brief kiss on the cheek before handing me the package. "Merry Christmas, Edward."

I quickly removed the festive wrapping, revealing a small jeweler's box. I looked up and smiled at her briefly, to try and let her know she didn't need to feel nervous. Inside the box lay a pair of cylindrical platinum cuff links. Each one had one of our initials engraved on the end.

"They open up, see?" She said before I could take them out of the box. "The end twists off…"

I pulled them out of the box and carefully removed the ends. "Bella…"

Inside one was a copy of the photo strip from the airport photo booth, and in the other was a miniature copy of our grad photo.

"I just wanted to make sure you had something of us, with you, to remind you of how far we've come…even though we're so far apart…" She fidgeted with the hem of her shirt.

Holding the cuff links in one hand, I used the other to lift her questioning gaze to mine. I cupped her warm cheek in my hand and stroked it gently with my thumb. "It's perfect. Thank you."

I took her lips in a reassuring kiss, and pulled back only when I felt the tension flow from her body. "Thank you, truly."

She pulled back smiling, and rested her arm around my shoulder so she could thread her fingers into my hair at the base of my neck. "I'm glad you like them. You have no idea how I agonized over what to get you." She chuckled. "Oh, um I do have something else for you too, but it's downstairs, so you have to wait until we go down…"

"Oh, Okay. Um…It's kind of funny, I wasn't sure what to get you either…but Alice assured me this was perfect so…um…Merry Christmas sweetheart." I handed her the small box.

I was just as nervous as Bella had been. I hoped she didn't think it was too much, and wasn't disappointed, since I'd only used the jeweler's box to wrap the gift. It had been just the right size for the paperwork and made it easy to wrap as well.

_I hope she doesn't freak…_I felt like crossing my fingers for luck._ Alice you had better be right or so help me…._

I watched her face carefully for her reaction as she opened the package. She looked up at me slightly confused as she lifted the papers out of the small box, but she wasn't frowning.

_So far so good._

She carefully unfolded the papers and I watched her eyes widen as they moved across the paper. "Edward?"

"Yes, Bella?" _Breathe…it's okay…_

"These are tickets to Vegas." She said shakily.

"Yes -"

"For New Years."

"Yes -"

"You're taking me on vacation for New Years?" She asked incredulously.

"Is that okay? Alice said it would be okay. Is that okay?" I stammered. _Alice!_ I started to panic. I didn't know if the look on her face was good, or bad.

"Of course it's okay. It's fucking perfect, I've always wanted to go to Vegas!" She threw her arms around my neck and hugged me fiercely. "Oh my God! Can we go to some shows, like Penn & Teller or Cirque de Soleil, or something with topless show girls? I mean it's not Vegas unless you see show girls, right? Oooh, can we play poker? I don't know how to play, but I've always wanted to play like those dipshits on T.V. with their sunglasses and hats pulled down low!"

"Whoa! Slow down." I said pulling back a little. "We can do whatever you'd like, go wherever you'd like. This is for you."

"Fuck." Her face fell.

"What? What's wrong, babe?" I asked, starting to panic again.

"When are we leaving, because I really need to talk to Alice about this meeting we need to set up for that investor I told you about? And I didn't pack anything for a trip like this."

"We're not leaving until the morning after Jasper and Alice arrive, so you'll have plenty of time to go over things with Ali." I said as I moved her off my lap. I got up from the bed and got the box that my mom had put in my closet. "As for not packing, remember I ran this idea by Alice. She sent this package up for you earlier in the week. I assume it has everything she thought you would need for the trip."

I set the box on the bed next to her and got my old boy scout knife off the top of my dresser so she could open it. Efficient and anal as always, Alice had sent up a complete suitcase and carry- on with everything _she_ thought Bella would need. It didn't escape my notice that she had thrown in all kinds of _funtoys_ and tasty _edible_ treats. Bella's face turned beet red and she didn't move fast enough to hide said treats, not to mention that I heard her mumble something about a 'fucking dirty minded little pixie'. _I think I love Alice._

"What's that package?" I asked, looking over Bella's shoulder.

"I don't know. I think it's Ali's Christmas present. – The tag says 'Merry Christmas Bells! Open in Vegas – Lots of Love, Alice'. It's probably some naughty lingerie knowing her."

_I think I can handle some naughty lingerie…Don't start fantasizing about that now, the possibilities are endless and you've got to get your asses downstairs!_

"Are you ready to go downstairs?" I asked her putting Alice's package back in the closet.

"Yeah, I've got one more thing for you. It's under the tree." She took my hand and headed for the door.

I could hear my parents laughing as we approached the kitchen, and prayed they'd keep the teasing to a minimum for Bella's sake.

"I hope you two honeymooners enjoyed your morning in bed. Your mother's been withholding the cinnamon rolls," Carlisle teased as we walked into the kitchen.

_No such luck…_

"Bella you're too easy of a target! I haven't been able to get a good blush out of the boys in years! I'm sorry!" My dad hugged her, hardly containing his mirth. "Really. I am. No more jokes this morning, I promise."

"Merry Christmas, Edward." My mom said, handing me a cup of her traditional Christmas morning peppermint hot chocolate. "Bella, would you like some cocoa?"

"I'd love some Esme, thanks," she answered, taking the steaming cup from my mothers hands.

"So dig in, I want to get to the gifts. I'm dying to know what Edward got you Bella, he wouldn't tell me," she said, looking at me with a pout that didn't erase the laughter in her eyes.

"Um…We already exchanged gifts upstairs…"Bella smiled at Esme. "Edward's taking me to Vegas for New Years!"

"I knew you and Alice were up to something!" She exclaimed, pointing her motherly finger in my direction, before turning her attention back to Bella. "You're going to have so much fun!"

"Remember that package that Alice had sent up here for me? It was a suitcase for the trip!"

I leaned on the island and took a sip of my cocoa. I don't think I'd seen her that excited over something in a long time.

"Looks Like you scored this morning, son." I heard my dad say.

_What?_ Cue blush…

"What?" I turned away from my mom and Bella to give my full attention to my grinning father.

"With the gift, Edward, the gift." He smiled slyly. "Although the hair," he pointed, "kind of made it obvious that you two were up early stuffing the Christmas goose."

"Dad!"

"What are you two whispering about over here?" My mom asked, refilling my cup with chocolatey goodness.

"What? Oh I was just asking Dad if we were having goose again this year for dinner." I covered quickly, not wanting Bella to feel uncomfortable that my parents so obviously knew how we'd spent the morning.

"Actually, I decided we'd go with my special braised beef instead. Edward, why don't you and Bella get things set up in the den for our Christmas movie marathon and I'll bring in a carafe of the chocolate and the rest of the sticky buns."

I went into the den and organized the classics – White Christmas, Gremlins, Christmas Vacation – it's not Christmas without the Griswold's, A Christmas Story, and Die Hard for an afternoon of relaxation. We've watched the same movies every year for as long as I can remember. '_Cause nothin' says ho-ho-fucking-ho like Bruce Willis kicking some Snape ass!_

I passed the rest of the day in absolute bliss. Bella was perfectly content joining in with my family's strange and twisted movie marathon, and even contributed to our snackfest with the other half of my Christmas present – handmade truffles from my favorite shop in Port Angeles. I couldn't believe she'd remembered that after all these years.

We took a brief break for a shared shower before getting ready for dinner which, thank God, wasn't too awkward. Although, my dad started to get a bit curious about all of Charlie's questions about the dining room table. Charlie finally fessed-up, to my eternal embarrassment, while our women were getting dishes cleared up for dessert. I didn't think I'd ever seen him laugh so hard at my expense. _I can't wait until he blabs to mom…_

That evening, after dinner was finished and we were snuggled warmly in bed, I was in absolute heaven again. Bella was curled up in my arms, her naked body pressed warmly against mine. Alice and Jasper were due to arrive in the morning, and then we were scheduled to leave on the twenty-seventh. Just a little mingling with the fam for a few days, and I would have her all to myself...I couldn't fucking _wait._

* * *

I grasped Bella's hand tightly, as we made our way through the bustling crowd that was a common, albeit annoying, reality of traveling around the holidays. The terminal was overflowing with screaming kids, harried looking parents, and a large number of exasperated looking people milling around the gates.

We were running late—the unfortunate, but not regrettable, result of Bella wanting a little shower 'pick me up' before we left—and I was practically dragging her to our gate so we could make it onto the plane before they closed the doors. I refused to allow our perfect vacation to start off on a sour note, by being stuck in the airport.

"We're here, we're here! Hold the door!" I shouted at the flight attendant who was just getting ready to close the door behind her. She spotted us running towards her and smiled in a slightly irritated, but resigned way.

"Well hurry up then. C'mon," she said, as she ushered us through the wide double-doors and smirked as we scrambled down the boarding ramp, hands still clasped tightly together.

We rushed into the cabin and found our seats. I didn't take a deep breath and relax until we were sitting down and ready for take-off. I was so exhausted from the past few days' activities, that I really wanted nothing more than to nap while we were in the air. With Jasper and Alice coming home, and all of us together for the first time, we'd stayed up way too late too many nights, and now I could feel the missed hours of sleep catching up with me.

Although I was excited about getting to spend time with Bella, on the inside my mind was reeling. Our holiday together had turned out so much better than I could have ever expected. At no point did Charlie pull a gun on me— I counted that as a small success—and he'd actually shaken my hand. Bella and I had gotten to spend the night together, which I hadn't expected, and she'd gotten me the most heartfelt and thoughtful gift I could have ever wanted. The cufflinks were discreet enough on the outside that I could wear them every day, keeping a piece of her with me. Thankfully, she had also squealed with delight when she opened her gift. We hadn't made the verbal progress I'd hoped for, but I could feel Bella's wall tumbling down.

I looked over at her, staring excitedly out the window, and smiled to myself at the prospect of spending five uninterrupted days alone with my beautiful girlfriend. We never seemed to get enough time together, and while five days wasn't all that long, it was the longest stretch we'd spent together since we'd officially started dating.

_I am a genius! Five fucking days with this gorgeous woman, and no one else. What more could I ask for?_

I reached over and took Bella's hand in mine, and she turned to look at me, smiling widely.

"Are you excited?" I asked her.

"Oh my God, you have no idea," she answered. "Thank you again, by the way, for doing this. I should have known something was up once I saw the package from Alice at your parent's house. I assumed it was Christmas presents, not a suitcase. She's a sneaky one to get all of that done without my noticing. If your whole family hadn't been present, I would have let her have it yesterday."

"I'm glad you didn't find out. I like surprising you, Bells. Besides, Alice was all for you having this vacation. We were in on it together from the beginning, a fact that I'm sure she rubbed in plenty. She thinks you work too hard," I told her.

She sighed heavily and relaxed back into her seat. "I know I do, but I have this crazy uncontrollable drive to succeed, and sometimes I have a hard time slowing down and taking a breath. You two are right. I do need this."

"Glad to be of service," I answered, kissing her lightly on the lips.

Once we were in the air, Bella yawned, relaxed into my side, snuggled her face into my chest and murmured happily. A flight attendant, with her large cart of drinks and snacks, made her way to our seats, and I noticed she was the same woman who had held the doors for us.

"Can I get you two something?" she asked sweetly. I glanced over at Bella, who shook her head, with her eyes half closed.

"No thanks. Maybe later," I answered.

"No problem. My name is Briana, and if you need anything, or you change your mind, just let me know."

She continued to push her cart up the row and was stopped abruptly by a sleazy looking guy and his blonde companion, who were giggling as they climbed out of their seats effectively blocking the aisle in front of her cart. They skittered up the aisle to the bathrooms and did a piss poor job of trying to hide what they were up to. It was blatantly obvious, and I couldn't help but laugh to myself.

"What's funny?" Bella mumbled into my chest.

"I think a couple of fellow flyers are trying to join the mile-high club," I whispered down to her.

"Ugh. That's disgusting. Those bathrooms are barely big enough for one person, let alone two, and that makes it virtually impossible to keep your ass from touching everything. Yuck. It's unsanitary," she groaned.

"Well, I can see where it could have a certain appeal. It's naughty, and in public," I teased, squeezing her thigh suggestively.

"Edward, need I remind you of the photo booth incident? I think we've covered those bases."

She had me there. We had participated in our fair share of naughty encounters recently.

_Car, photobooth, two kitchen tables, childrens playhouse…well, almost. No need to try and cram into a tiny germy cubicle to make a point._

Bella perked up a little, obviously still curious, and I noticed that her eyes were trained on the restrooms, just as mine were. A loud thump sounded from the bathroom, and a female giggle followed.

Briana, the flight attendant, brushed past my seat, walking swiftly in the direction of the noises, and when she reached the door she knocked twice softly.

"The lavatories are single occupancy only. Please exit the restroom immediately, and return to your seats," she said in a syrupy sweet voice.

"Uh, _be out in a minute lady_," a male voice answered, not very politely.

She knocked again, significantly louder, and raised her voice a bit. "Sir, ma'am, I'm going to ask you again to please return to your seats."

I nudged Bella, making sure she was still looking, and watched in awe as Briana, my new favorite flight attendant, pulled the PA system handset from the wall and held it to her mouth.

"Attention passengers, I have a special treat for all of you. It appears we have a momentous event occurring, and I believe you will all enjoy it very much. The occupants of seats 16A and 16B are currently attempting to join the mile-high club in this restroom right here. What do you say we give them a little encouragement?"

The cabin erupted in catcalls, applause, and wolf whistles. She held the mic up to the door and the faints sounds of a couple grumbling and arguing could be heard through the door. Seconds later the couple emerged from the bathroom looking incredibly red-faced and disheveled. Briana then followed them back to their seats, looking quite smug and self-satisfied., before handing them each a "#1 Flyer" pin, with a wide smile.

"I figured you both deserved a little something for your effort. In the future, please try to remember that humping in an aircraft bathroom is no bueno. 'Kay?" she said in a quiet voice, then retreated back to the galley with the other attendants. I wanted to high five her so badly, for the fucking amazing show she'd just put on

"Oh my God, that may have been the most awesome thing I've ever seen," Bella whispered to me. I looked pointedly at her, narrowing my eyes at her and faux pouting. "Okay, maybe second most amazing, after El Capitán."

"That's better," I laughed, kissed her on the forehead, and snuggled her against me so we could rest for the remainder of the flight. Even without any of my own attempts at airplane sex, it was easily my favorite flight _ever_.

* * *

After arriving at The Venetian, we spent the remainder of the day in our hotel room, saying we were going to rest, but really using it as an excuse to take advantage of the privacy we'd mostly missed at Christmas. We'd gotten to spend the night together on Christmas Eve, but other than that night Bella had opted to stay at her father's house—wanting to spend time with him. Our private moments had been limited to stolen shower time and quickies in the car. Not that I was complaining about the sex, I wasn't, just the lack of alone time that always went with having family around. I wanted to absorb the feeling of having her all to myself, because I knew that our vacation would fly by, and before I knew it we would have to part ways again. The thought alone made my heart sink, and made me squeeze her just a little tighter when she was in my arms.

Once night fell, we dressed and headed out to explore the casino and have dinner. Bella had never gambled before, and I had fun trying to teach her how to play five card stud. She caught on quickly, and to my surprise she ended up winning several hands. She also tried her luck at roulette—which she said she didn't care for as much—and blackjack, and she won several times in a row before she decided to cash out her chips and move on. She offered to pay for dinner with her winnings. Although I was reluctant to let her, she insisted, and we had a delicious dinner, filled with laughing, easy conversation, and a comedic recap of all the goings-on at my parents Christmas party.

After we ate, we decided to walk around outside for a bit, and get some fresh air. The outside of The Venetian had been painstakingly designed to resemble Venice, with it's meandering canals, bridges, and detailed architecture, and it was truly a sight to behold. We walked down a raised walkway that met with the mouth of the Rialto Bridge replica and crossed halfway over, both of us looking out at the plaza below.

"What are you thinking?" I asked Bella, who seemed content and happy, but deep in thought.

"I was just thinking how perfect this is. Everything is lit up, and so beautiful. Vegas feels alive, and exciting, and I'm having a great time so far," she responded.

_Wow asshat, you made the right choice. You get a gold fucking star._

"I'm glad. All I wanted was for you to have fun. You mentioned earlier that you wanted to go dancing…still wanna go?"

"Absofuckinglutely! Let's go!" she shrieked, and took my hand.

The concierge at the hotel had recommended we check out LAVO, the club at The Palazzo, the adjacent hotel. We took his recommendation, and when we arrived, the club was bustling, but not overcrowded. The music was loud and techno sounding, not really my style, but if Bella wanted to dance, we would dance.

"Do you want a drink?" I shouted to Bella over the music.

She nodded, and mouthed to me, "_whatever you're having_." I held up one finger to her, and motioned that I'd be right back. I left her at a low table against the wall, and away from the majority of the crowd. The bar area was packed, and it took forever to get our drinks. I finally paid and moved through the mob to get back to Bella.

When the swarm of people parted, I got a view of our table, and what I saw almost made me drop the drinks. There was some greasy-ass motherfucker talking to _my_ Bella.

_I hope Jazz has his phone on, because I'm going to need him to bail me out after I kill this fuckface._

I tried to keep my cool, and retain some semblance of self-control—I'm not a fucking animal—but when his hand reached out to stroke her arm with one skeevy finger, I fucking lost it. I rushed through the mess of people and chairs, and met Bella's eyes when I was almost to her. It was the same look she'd given me when dumbass Mike had cornered her on our date in Forks. She was pleading with her eyes for me to get her out of that situation. I felt nothing but adrenaline, and the need to protect the most important thing in my life.

I stepped next to the table, but behind the jerk, and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned and looked at me, a smug smile on his face.

"Can I help you with something?" he asked impatiently.

"Yeah, asshole, you can help me by not touching my girlfriend," I growled through my teeth.

"The lady doesn't seem to mind me talking to her, so why don't you calm down?"

_This stupid sonofabitch wants to die tonight, doesn't he?_

"Let me be clearer," I said. "Unless you want to go to the ER tonight, you will leave her the fuck alone. She isn't interested. Fuck. Off."

He made a brave move, and put his hand on my chest, pushing lightly, but not aggressively.

"Why don't we ask the lady what she thinks? Do you mind me talking to you honey?"

His hand snaked out and touched Bella's arm, as he asked her. She tried to move her arm away from him but she was already against the wall and was looking at me with a panicked look on her face.

_Did he just…he did! He fucking did!_

Red. I saw red again, and my fist was cracking him in the side of the face before I even thought to throw the punch.

_Where the fuck did that come from? I knew all those years of playing Mike Tyson's Punch Out would pay off._

His hopelessly unfit body flopped to the side and he tripped over the leg of the chair behind him, falling to the ground in a heap. I saw a couple of security guys making their way through the crowd, and I leaned over to the asshole before they could get to us.

"You fell. You fucking fell because you had too much to drink, and you're a clumsy dipshit. I swear, if you ruin my night I will find you and I guarantee you will be sorry," I told him quietly but menacingly as I leaned over him.

He nodded his agreement, and when the security people reached us he was quick to dispel any ideas that there had been an altercation.

"No gentlemen, I'm clumsy, and I tripped and smacked my head on the chair," he told them while looking at me out the corner of his eye, making sure I wasn't going to clock him again if he fucked up. "These nice people were just trying to help me." They seemed satisfied, though they did eye me warily as they walked away, the asshole following them closely as he left. Throughout the whole ordeal Bella just sat there, mouth open wide, and I was scared she was going to be upset with me for making a scene. I sat down beside her, meeting her gaze.

"Bella I'm so sorry. I hate when you have to see me like that. You know I don't run around just punching people, but the way you were looking at me I –"

Before I could finish, she grabbed my neck and kissed me hard on the lips. Not a sweet peck, but a fiery, full of lust kiss.

"That is the second time you've defended my honor. You punching some guy simply because he touched me, or was talking to me, should make me mad, but I know you were just trying to stop him from harassing me, and I appreciate it very much. Now, I will kick _your_ ass if you don't dance with me right now."

We stood up, and she helped me shrug out of my jacket. Bella grabbed me by the belt and pulled me out to the dance floor, shaking her ass the whole way.

_Something tells me fucktard didn't ruin our night after all._

_

* * *

_

The following day was filled with shopping, sightseeing, and a little gambling. We had a few things planned, but mostly we just wandered around, seeing what we could.

There had been several moments that I'd thought everything was setting up for me to finally tell her that I loved her, but each time something just wasn't right. It was getting to be like an itch I needed to scratch…always right there, begging to be satisfied. I was almost to the point of deciding I would let her say it first, but we still had a few days together, and I knew it would drive me crazy the entire time. I'd hoped we'd be occupied enough that it wouldn't dominate my every thought.

I'd taken the liberty of setting up a few things for us to do when I originally booked the trip. Bella had mentioned that she liked Penn & Teller's show on Showtime, so I decided to get tickets to see them at the Rio. The show was supposed to start around 9pm, so when seven-thirty rolled around, we decided to head back to the room and change.

After we'd both showered—_just_ showered, for the purpose of being on time—I left the bathroom to change, and Bella stayed inside, claiming she needed to do 'girly stuff', whatever the fuck that meant.

I changed into dark jeans, a gray v-neck tee, and a simple suit jacket. I thought I looked alright, but when Bella emerged from the bathroom to grab her dress, she gasped and stared at me.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked her, suddenly self conscious. With a smile, she went to the bedside table and grabbed my glasses.

Handing them to me, she said, "You look hot, but these will complete the ensemble." She giggled and retreated to the bathroom again.

_Holy four-eyed fetish Batman! What the hell? Women…they never make sense. _

The show let out a little after eleven and the desert air was crisp but not cold, like Washington had been, when we exited the theater doors. As much as I'd enjoyed the performance, I found my eyes drawn repeatedly back to Bella. It was ridiculous how short my attention span had become when she was nearby to steal my focus. She looked gorgeous. She was wearing a simple, short, royal blue dress, and had her hair swept up gracefully off her neck. I'd ended up missing the majority of the show, because I'd been ogling her the whole fucking time.

_Stare at her any harder and she's going to think you're a fucking nutcase._

My heart swelled and pounded in my chest at the sight of her. The love was right there, just under the surface, and it was stretching and swelling, and fighting to get out. I loved her, more than anything I knew that for a fact, and I wanted to tell her so badly, but I didn't want to scare the shit out of her if she wasn't ready.

Not wanting the night to be over yet, I clasped my fingers around hers and pulled her gently towards the sidewalk.

"I was thinking we should grab a cab back to the hotel, then maybe it would be nice if we took a walk. Is that alright with you?" I asked, suddenly and inexplicably nervous.

"Sure. Just as long as when we get back we can pick up where we left off this afternoon," she teased.

_Jasper wasn't kidding when he spouted off about the joys of "hotel sex"…_

"I think we might be able to arrange that," I laughed, pulling her to my chest and teasing her mouth with my own, letting my lips barely graze hers before pulling away.

"Tease," she spat playfully.

"Haven't we already had this discussion? I'm not a tease, because I _definitely_ intend to follow through," I responded, and pulled her to me again, tighter this time, and kissed her fully on the mouth, my hands resting gently on the small of her back. She whimpered softly, and when I pulled away and tried walking us towards the cab she still had a dreamy look on her face.

The cab dropped us off near our hotel, and we strolled slowly to the plaza we'd seen the day before. We walked along the path that follows the canal, fingers interlaced, not talking, but just enjoying the feeling of being together. I glanced over at Bella and felt that same swell in my chest. She looked so beautiful, her face lit by the host of neon lights surrounding us. We came upon the Rialto Bridge, which was above us this time, and I took a deep breath, wanting to savor the moment. I wanted to explain to her how happy I was she was enjoying the trip, and how incredibly gorgeous she looked, when something inside of me snapped. It was inexplicable, and intense, and I was suddenly fueled by a fire I couldn't control.

_Enough is enough._

I grabbed her, and turned her to face me, pressing her up against the nearest pillar. She seemed surprised, but not reluctant, and when my mouth met hers we melted together in a tangle of warm breath and greedy lips. The setting couldn't be any more romantic, and my mind was screaming at me to not let the opportunity pass again.

_Do it. It's right! Just do it!_

I took a deep breath, and the words came out before I could think any further.

"I love you. Oh, fuck, Bella, I do…I love you so much. I can't not say it anymore. You have no idea how it's been killing me. I just needed you to know…I _love_ you."

She inhaled sharply and I wondered for a split second if I had just royally fucked myself. Her wide eyes looked slightly damp, and she was staring at me, mouth agape, no words coming out.

"Look, I—"

"I…love you too," she cut me off.

All the breath in my lungs was stolen. It was like time stopped, and we were frozen in the moment. I wracked my brain for words, but I was so overcome with emotion for a moment that I couldn't think straight. All I could do was stare into the misty chocolate brown eyes that were staring back at me.

My instincts took over, and all the feelings I'd been holding back for months, maybe even years, rushed forth. I pulled her to me gently and kissed her sweetly, trying to fight the burn in the back of my throat. So many years of being without this perfect woman, and now she was telling me that she loved me too. It was so much, so big, and so fucking _wonderful._

Breathless, she broke the kiss, looking up at me and blinking away her own tears.

"Edward, I just want to say thank you for being the most amazing, perfect guy I could ever ask for. Not many guys would be so patient, and actually wait for _me_ to be ready without springing their own crap onto me. I mean, I was starting to wonder if maybe you were the one who wasn't ready to take that step, but—"

"Wait, what?" I interrupted. "Why would you think that _I _wasn't ready?"

"Well, I totally thought you were going to say it sometime at Christmas, but you never did. There were, like, a bunch of occasions that it seemed perfect, but you seemed like you were holding back, or distracted or something," she explained.

"Me? I've been wanting to tell you for months! I held back because I was afraid you weren't ready to move our relationship to that level yet. I thought maybe it was too fast for you. Are you telling me that I could've gotten this weight off of my chest a long time ago?" I asked, dumbfounded, but amused.

"Well, I admit, I've been a little skittish in the seriousness department, but I've loved you for as long as I can remember…it just took me a little longer than you to realize it, I guess."

"Are you trying to tell me that, once again, a massive miscommunication has prevented us from being honest with each other?"

"That seems to be the case," she sighed.

"Bella, seriously, can we agree now that we aren't going to do this shit anymore? From this point on, I want you to please, always tell me the truth about what's on your mind, and I will do the same. Promise?" I asked her.

"I promise Edward. I swear. Does this start now?" she asked, batting her eyes at me. I nodded.

"Okay, then I need to tell you that there is nothing I want more in this world than for the man I love to take me back to our room. Right. Now." She purred seductively, but obviously thought the moment called for a little mood lightening. "So if you see him, will you tell him I'll be here waiting? I have this itch, and I think I need him to scratch it."

_I think Caveward just came out to play, with his trusty sidekick El Capitan by his side._

"Bella, unless you want me to have my way with you against this pillar, I suggest we get walking," I growled, pulling her towards the hotel entrance.

It felt like we couldn't get to the room fast enough. Once we reached the door of the suite I had the card in the lock and the door open in a flash. I didn't bother with the lights as we fumbled against each other. The multicolored lights from the Strip below were pouring in the window, illuminating Bella's skin in a rainbow of luminescence. She looked breathtaking in that moment, and I realized that I didn't have to hesitate or choose my words carefully.

"God Bella, I love you so much. You're so fucking beautiful, you have no idea how you look to me right now," I rasped, looking her up and down as I slid the straps of her dress off her shoulders, kissing the skin where they had been.

"I love hearing you say that," she said softly. "And I love you too."

She was clawing at the buttons of my shirt, trying to get them undone, and I gently moved her hands away to do it myself. Once I'd shed my shirt, she ran her hands over my bare chest and hummed to herself quietly.

Our mouths were connected, tongues sliding teasingly against one another, and our hands were frantically trying to rid ourselves of the remaining clothes that separated us.

Once we were both completely undressed, I grazed my hands from Bella's shoulders, down her sides, brushing the sides of her breasts, and down to settle them gently on her ass. I bent my knees slightly, and kissed a trail down her chest, kissing one nipple, then the other, and back up to her mouth.

"Lay back on the bed, love. Tonight, I'm going to worship you the way you deserve."

She leaned back, sitting down on the edge, and scooted until she was in the middle of the bed. I climbed up after her, hovering over her and taking in the glorious sight of her body. I settled my weight on one arm, bending down to kiss her fully, before I slid back down, settling myself between her milky thighs.

I ran my fingers ever so softly up and down the inside of each thigh, placing small soft kisses in a trail. She was wiggling in anticipation when I finally reached the moist hot apex between her thighs.

"Oh God, Edward. Please, don't tease me," she moaned.

I flicked my tongue out a few times, teasingly, and her incoherent mumblings gave me the impression that, although I _was _teasing her, I was doing something right. I lifted her ass up carefully, and braced her squirming hips with my hands. This new position afforded me a beautiful view of all of Bella. I parted her glistening lips, with several slow licks up and down, followed by tiny nips and sucks in all the right places, and before I knew it she was chanting my name and trembling, about to come undone right there in my arms.

"Please, please, I love you, please…" she moaned.

A few deft maneuvers with my thumb on her clit, and my tongue teasing her entrance, I felt her shaking and bucking with pleasure. I slowed my movements, allowing her to ride out the last waves of her orgasm, before I slid back up the bed and laid down next to her.

She immediately surprised me by capturing my lips with hers, and rolling us over so I was flat on my back. Our eyes met, and Bella's were wild and filled with desire. My dick was aching for her, and she straddled me, easing herself down onto my rigid length at a torturously slow rate. I gasped at the feeling of being fully inside her, and marveled at how perfectly we fit together.

She began to rock slowly, and I matched her pace, gripping her hips tightly. I knew that I wasn't going to last long if she continued to move like she was, but when I tried to slow the motions of her hips, she ground down furiously, and a loud groan escaped my lips.

"Bella, baby, I'm close, you should slow down," I warned.

"No, Edward. I wanna watch your face while I make you lose control, just like you did for me," she responded breathlessly.

No further urging was needed. She continued to ride me, while I thrust upward simultaneously, and I could feel the familiar tension building within. One last hard thrust upward, and I came violently inside Bella, with such force that I could feel it draining all of my remaining energy.

Both of us breathing heavily, she bent at the waist and kissed me on the neck, inching her way towards my mouth. My arms and legs felt like limp spaghetti, and I barely had the energy to wrap an arm around her when she settled next to me on the mattress.

"I think I need a serious power nap before we go out again," I told her. "How about you?"

"Actually, I'm surprisingly not tired. I feel _so_ good right now," Bella sighed, smiling into the pillow next to mine.

"It wouldn't happen to have anything to do with my fuckhot skills, would it?" I joked.

"Well, I will admit that your magical tongue and peen powers have contributed to my good mood, but I really am having a great time just _being_ with you. I always feel like we don't get enough time. I always feel like everything is leading up to another goodbye. I'm tired of having to say goodbye to you."

"Me too, Bella. You have no idea. In an ideal world, you would be in my bed like this every night, and I would get to see your beautiful face every morning when I wake up. It's unfair that we've found each other again after so long, only to have so much crap in our lives keeping us apart."

Bella's eyes suddenly took on that faraway look I'd been seeing lately, and she nodded softly.

"We're making it work, aren't we? I mean, we're adults, and we have lives we've made, and it can't all be figured out overnight," she replied.

"I know, sweetheart. I know it can't. I just miss you, that's all. Let's just enjoy the rest of our trip, and we can work out all the heavy stuff later, okay?" I said, trying to change the subject, and get that dark look off her face.

"Yeah. Let's just have as much fun as we can. We only have a couple more days until we have to go back to real life, right?" she said, her mouth forming into a wide smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

I'd thought that once we'd said we loved each other out loud, the clouds would part and all would be right with the world. Now I knew I'd been fooling myself. There was plenty still being left unsaid, and though we loved each other, we still had so many things to deal with if we ever wanted to share a life together. It would be hard, and the road would probably be difficult, but for now, in this moment, none of that mattered. I was here with the woman I loved, and she had admitted she loved me too. For this second that was enough.

* * *

**A/N: This chapter is brought to you by Marc Anthony - **_**I Need To Know; **_**the Las Vegas Department of Tourism; our bestie SnozzberryFaery, who brings our ILY's to life; and pkitten21,who finally allowed them to exchange gifts…and it only took two-and-a –half chapters to do it! (Our TFX rocks too - w lurve you BB!)  
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**Reviews can't compare to Edwards words of love…not to mention that fuckhot peen! **


	17. Just Watch the Fireworks

**AN: Sorry for the delay with the update, we did have the chapter ready, but FFnet was being a BITCH!!!**

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**Entries are due Sept. 30****th**** find all of the details here: ****http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2060377/naughtyheelsanonymouscontest**

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**Remember ladies Stephenie owns it, we dress it up to get a **_**rise**_** out of Geekward…**

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Chapter 17 – Just Watch the Fireworks

(BPOV)

As I lay in the cool dark room, I nuzzled my head further into Edward's chest, watching as the early morning light flitted through the small opening of the heavy shades. The golden rays played across his strong angular features, making his already impossibly handsome appearance almost painful to take in all at once.

_Umm, in case you were unaware honey, your boyfriend is prettier than you..._

Even as early as it was, my body felt positively electric, and the hum reverberated through me as my limbs tangled together with Edward's. It took every bit of self restraint I had left not to trace the line of his full pouty bottom lip. The only reason I didn't, was the fear of waking him, and well….I was sure that the previous nights activities had tired him out.

"_I love you. Oh, fuck, Bella, I do…I love you so much. I can't not say it anymore. You have no idea how it's been killing me. I just needed you to know…I love you."_

I wasn't sure how many times I could replay this in my head, but every time I did I felt as if I was floating.

Obviously, we'd both known we were in love with each other, but to say it was something entirely different. Not only were we making a confession, but a promise to one another as well. I'd always guarded those words, kept them hidden behind my walls, but when I heard Edward confess his heart to me, it was as if I could see it all tumbling down around me, and the man I loved was standing there in front of me.

I drew in Edward's scent as I lay there, savoring the moment. To some it might not have been the ideal way to be told 'I love you', but for the two of us it was perfection. It was a bit fumbled and some might think it took too long, but it was also full of sincerity and passion, which fit our relationship. It might have taken us 10 years to get to the point that we were at but they were the strongest, truest feelings I had ever had in my life.

"Mmmm, morning my….love," Edward hummed into the top of my hair.

"A very good morning. Do you know what today is Mr. Cullen?"

"Well, if you keep referring to me as 'Mr. Cullen', today will be Hump-your-sexy-ass-girlfriend-on-every-surface-of-the-hotel-suite-Day."

"Not that I would mind that at all, but that day happens to coincide with New Year's Eve."

"Actually I do seem to remember that, now that you bring it up. I happen to have a very nice evening planned for the two of us."

"Edward, we don't have to go anywhere or do anything. As long as I get my kiss at midnight I will be more than happy," I said, as I finally allowed myself to trace those damn lips that had been taunting me all morning.

"Are you hungry, sweetheart?" Edward chuckled when my stomach sounded like it had begun to eat itself.

"Absolutely famished, I worked up quite an appetite last night," I purred, as I let my right hand move teasingly down his hard stomach, leaving it to rest on his hip.

I watched as Edward tightly closed his eyes and scrunched his nose then, without any warning, was sitting in the middle of the bed with me tucked into his lap, tickling my sides mercilessly.

"I need to feed you, but you're making that task very hard on me when you do stuff like that." He moved his fingertips behind my knee causing me to giggle and writhe against his steel grip. "If I stop tickling you, do you promise to let me get out of bed without being any more tempting than you already are?"

"Yes, Yes…I p-p-promise," I half choked as I tried to grab at his hands.

"That's my girl," Edward smiled as he plopped me back down on the bed.

I positioned myself against the pillows, and watched as Edward climbed out of bed and snatched his glasses off of the nightstand.

_Down girl, you promised you'd sit here and keep your hands to yourself. Yes, but LOOK AT HIM. I just want to bite that tush!_

Edward caught me not-so-subtly ogling his goods, and shook his ass a little for me as he walked to the bathroom, which awarded him some of my best catcalls.

When he had closed the door, and I could hear the shower running, I allowed myself one of those ridiculous girly moments. I shrieked into my pillow and kicked my feet against the mattress like I had just seen New Kids on the Block walk by, I was so fucking happy.

When Edward was finished and walked out of the bathroom I think I may have audibly whimpered. He had on a pair of dark jeans that accentuated his perfect ass and an argyle v-neck sweater with the sleeves pushed up a bit.

_Excuse me poindexter, but I need to go change my panties please. Who knew argyle plus forearms would be the new formula for weapons of mass destruction?_

"While I go get breakfast, you get into some comfy lounging clothes and find something good for us on TV. I was thinking we could stay in today and relax. We've be going and doing so much since we got here, and I'm sure we will be out pretty late again tonight. Do you mind just being a lazy ass today, Bella?"

"It sounds perfect, but we might just have to get room service for lunch," I answered and cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Deal," he laughed and headed for the door.

Just as he reached the foyer of the suite, he turned to me with the most sincere look on his face.

"I love you, Bella."

"I love you too."

Edward's eyes lit up, making the fierce green pools all the more breathtaking, as he graced me with my favorite crooked smile. He turned and left the room. I wanted to have a repeat of my girly moment from before, but decided to fulfill his request and get ready for some major vegging.

I wrapped the fluffy hotel robe around my body and walked into the sitting area of the ridiculously over the top suite Edward had chosen for us. Alice had packed so much for me that I knew I would never wear everything, so I had just left it all in the suitcase and picked through it as needed. There was also the issue of having Edward see whatever the hell that petite perv may have hidden in there.

This was the first opportunity I'd really had to myself since we had gotten to Vegas and I decided I should at least take a look in there….you know, just in case my bag was searched in the airport going home.

In the first bag I found fuzzy handcuffs, flavored lube, and a body wax massage candle.

_Gotta admit I'm a little surprised at Alice. I might actually want to use some of this stuff._

There was a second bag in my zipper compartment which was not nearly as tame. The first thing that greeted me when I opened that one was a copy of _The Multi-Orgasmic Man, _with an inscription from Alice on the front cover, "For Poolside Reading xoxo Alice"

_Bitch!! If she only knew what this man could do, he could write his own book… _

The last item in the bag was a large box with the letters V-A-M-P across the side. I opened the box and immediately starting laughing. I pulled out a pale rubbery dildo and just about lost it when I saw there were little sparkles all over it. I shoved it back into the box and replaced all of the contents back into the bag.

_Seriously Alice, who the fuck would want this? Not to mention it has, like, glitter on it. What happens if the glitter comes off? Ouch! That would be one unhappy heynow! _

I finally pulled out the large box at the bottom of the suitcase that stated I was not to open it until arriving in Vegas. To be perfectly honest, I was worried what it contained. Knowing Alice, she may have put in a Pirate costume because she had learned Edward's nickname for one of my favorite parts of his body.

I removed the red satin ribbon from around the dress box and laid the lid on the coffee table. I opened the tissue paper up and was met with a long white dress.

My stomach clenched, and a wave of nausea rolled over me as I pulled the long white dress out of the box and looked at it more closely.

_I think when we get back home it might be time to take Alice in for a mental evaluation…just sayin'!_

As my mind started to play out the scenario of me wearing the dress, I heard the electronic chirp of the door lock. I quickly shoved the dress back into box and threw in back into my suitcase, and grabbed pair of pants and a t-shirt. I zipped the suitcase up and moved it over to the corner of the room.

_Out of sight, out of mind._

"You're not dressed yet," Edward mumbled as he balanced the 2 coffees he had on top of the 3 boxes he was carrying.

"Nope, I was hoping you might help me," I purred to him, enjoying the easy playfulness that we shared.

"Bella," he warned, placing our breakfast on the table. "Food, remember? We already had this conversation," he pretended to scold me, but the fact that he was staring at the wide opening of my robe seemed to negate his words.

"Okay, okay. I'm going," I pouted as I entered the bathroom.

I showered and got ready as quickly as I could, because as much as I wanted to see his forearms flexing over me in bed, I also was so hungry I could eat a bear!

By the time I joined Edward in the sitting room, he'd plated all of our food, and it looked delicious.

"I picked up some fresh chocolate croissants, some fruit, two omelets, and since we're planning on watching movies, I grabbed just about one of every candy so you could have your pick."

"Reeses Pieces….you're my hero," I sighed, picking my coffee up off of the table.

We sat on the couch eating our breakfast with our feet up on the coffee table, rubbing them against one another.

"Alright, let's start the movie madness, what do you say?"

"Yes and please, but I get to hold the remote," I answered, snatching it from his hands.

There must have been a million channels, but I was determined to find something we didn't have to pay for.

"Yes," I whooped, complete with a fist pump for emphasis.

"This is what we are watching, Edward. Empire Records. We've only missed a few minutes of it. I can fill you in don't worry."

"That's ok I think I can keep up," he smirked at me. "Happy Rex Manning Day," he said in a singsong voice.

"Oh my God, Edward, how in the hell do you know that? You've watched it before?"

I watched as a slight blush crossed Edward's cheeks and he ducked his head down scratching at the back of his neck.

_Oh shit he's embarrassed, and that makes me want him even more. What the fuck is wrong with me?_

"Well actually I'd watched it in high school, you'd told me that you and Angela watched it just about every weekend, and since you liked it so much I wanted to make sure I had seen it too. You know, incase we ever ran out of stuff to talk about."

"Edward Cullen, you were, are, and always will be, the sweetest man I've ever met," I whispered against his stubbled cheek while I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Wait a second. You had to have watched it more than once to be able to quote it like that. How many times have you seen the movie?" I asked leaning back to give him a suspicious look.

"A few times," he answered sheepishly, looking at the wall behind my head instead of at my face.

"Define a 'few times' for me please."

"Seven times…..I've watched it seven times, but only because Gwar was in it."

"Sure, whatever you say. I guess you liked it then, huh?"

"Well I wouldn't say it's as good as Star Wars or anything like that, but yes Bella, I did like it. Happy now?" he asked, giving me a goofy face as he pulled me into his side so we could watch the movie.

"Ecstatic actually."

We settled in and watched the movie, laughing at the music and the clothes. Edward kept teasing me when I would say a line out loud, but when we both quoted _'Well Sinead O'Rebellion. Shock me, shock me, shock me with that deviant behavior'_, he knew he was sunk and quit picking on me.

By the time the movie had finished we were both a little stiff from sitting on the couch for so long. We decided to open the curtains in the massive suite so we could take in the view of the strip. I threw pillows on the floor, and Edward and I sat across from each other enjoying the early afternoon sunlight.

"I bet you had a crush on A.J., didn't you, because he was all artsy and brooding," he said as he lifted my feet into his lap and started rubbing small circles into my heels.

"Well, actually you're wrong. He was a little too whiney for my taste. I liked Mark because he was kind of dorky and funny," I replied poking my toe in his stomach a little.

"You know the movie does remind me of you the way you and I were in high school. You have these two people who are friends and talk to each other about everything, but were just too scared to admit it to one another.

Do you ever think about how things might be different if we would've had an ounce of courage between us?" he asked, quietly looking down at my feet on his lap.

"I think about that all the time Edward, but as much as I hate all of the time that we have wasted, I'm not sure I would change any of it if I could. Maybe we had to go through all of that other stuff to be where we are today, and I am so happy where we are."

"I am too Bella."

_Well now is your chance, ask him what you've been wanting to since the first night at the reunion…or are we going to have to visit the wizard to get you some courage?_

"You know Edward, I've always been a little curious about Tanya. I didn't want to push you to talk about something you didn't want to, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't wonder what happened between you," I asked making sure to keep my voice even. Just the thought of Edward with someone else made me crazy, but I didn't want him to feel he couldn't talk to me.

"There really isn't much to tell. We were set up by a guy I work with and his wife. We dated for almost 2 years, and everyone kept asking when we were going to get married. One night, we were sitting down over Chinese food, and she asked if I thought we should get married. I told her it seemed liked the next logical step, and she told me not to worry about the ring, she'd pick it out herself, and that was that."

_Great, I'll never be able to eat Chinese food again, thanks Tanya, you dumb whore. _

"Did you love her, Edward?"

"I had feelings for her and I did love her, but not in a romantic way. So much of it was out of convenience. We were getting to be a certain age and we both got along well, more as friends than anything, but it was nice to not have all of our friends and family on our backs asking us why we never dated or when they were getting grandchildren all the time."

"So what happened? Why didn't you go through with the wedding?"

"I just knew it didn't feel right, I didn't want to end up hurting her in the long run. I always knew that there was more for me, and I wanted us both to have our shot at it and not just settle because we were tired of being pestered by people. Bella, even when I was with Tanya I thought of you. I guess the real reason it never worked out was because….she wasn't you."

My heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest. Was Edward saying that he didn't want to marry Tanya, but he did want to marry me?

_Well look who is getting all starry-eyed all of a sudden. Aren't you the one always telling him to slow down?_

"Thank you Edward," I said as I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"I do know what you mean about feeling like something was missing, I felt the same way."

"Bella I just want you to know that I love you more than I can ever really tell you. You're _it_ for me, this is it for me."

I moved my feet off his lap and pulled myself all the way over him, moving my legs to the outside of his to straddle him.

Edward was able to say how he felt and even though I had told him I loved him as well, saying how I felt just didn't come as easily to me.

I moved my hands into his hair and gently brushed my lips against his. I might not be able to tell him everything I wanted to say, but I wanted to try and show him.

I captured his bottom lip in between my own and kissed him softly, taking my time with each movement of my mouth. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me down against his lap, leaving no space between us.

I could feel his excitement even through the heavy denim of his pants. My fingers itched to move their way down and touch him, but instead I tightened my grip in his hair and parted my lips as his tongue slid inside of my mouth.

I rocked my hips against him slightly, which caused him to moan into my mouth and deepen the kiss. Edward lifted his hips up to mine creating a delicious friction between the two of us.

I was unable to control my hands any longer and lifted myself up some, allowing room for my hand to stroke Edward over his jeans.

With my new position Edward had much better access to my breasts. He wasted no time taking advantage of it, and removed my hand momentarily from his clothed hard length, so he could discard my t-shirt. He hummed in approval when he realized I was without a bra and rested his cheek in the valley of my breasts.

I returned my hand between Edward's legs and used the palm of my hand to apply enough pressure for him to feel my movements over his clothing. He kissed my breasts softly and tenderly with a reverence that made my heart swell.

"I love you Bella," he murmured against my skin as he placed a warm open mouthed kiss on the skin above my heart.

"I love you so much, Edward," I whispered as I kissed his right temple.

I lifted myself off of Edward and stood above him as he placed kisses around my navel. I stroked his hair and looked down at him as he rested his cheek against my skin.

Grabbing his hands, I silently told him to get up with me. He stood up easily and caressed me from my shoulders to my fingers and back up again.

With his hand clasped in mine I led him over to the couch, wordlessly removed his clothing until he was completely undressed in full glory in front of me.

I lightly pushed at his chest until he sank down onto the couch. Although his eyes were darkened from lust, he also had a questioning look on his face. I lowered myself to my knees and insinuated myself between his legs.

He was always such a kind and considerate lover, but right now I wanted this to be about him. I wrapped my hand around his taut skin and stroked up while watching his features tense with my touch. I swiped my tongue across his head and smiled to myself when he hissed.

I felt him reach his hand down and caress my hair again as I took his entire length into my mouth. I worked my lips up and down his shaft as I listened to him moan my name.

"Fuck, Bella, so nice. God yes, just like that."

I quickened the pace of my movements at his encouraging words and gripped him at his base, moving my mouth and hand in synch with one another.

I looked up at Edward to find him watching me, as I moved him in and out of my mouth. When our eyes met his breathing hitched and he coiled his hand deeper into my hair.

"So beautiful," he mumbled as he helped guide my head.

Within seconds he was at the edge and I felt him become impossibly harder in my mouth.

"Yes Bella, fuck I'm about to c-" he moaned out while he clamped his eyes shut and threw his head back against the couch. With that Edward came, my name falling from his lips.

I rested my head on his thighs for a moment while he stroked my face as he came down from his release.

He bent down and scooped me up off of the floor and carried me to the bed with him. He laid me down on the bed tenderly and slid in behind me wrapping an arm around my stomach to hold me against him.

* * *

"Hey sleepyhead," I heard Edward whisper against my ear, the two day growth of his beard tickling the sensitive skin.

"Oh Shit, did we miss midnight, the ball, the kiss," I asked shooting up out of bed and babbling incoherently.

"Calm down, crazy, it's a little after six. We don't even have dinner reservations until eight," Edward laughed, pulling me back down against him.

I rolled over to my other side so I could look at his face. The man was just so damn pretty.

"I don't even remember falling asleep. How long have we been sleeping?" I half-yawned, half-asked.

"About five hours, but that's good, we can enjoy ourselves tonight."

"So are you going to tell me what we're doing tonight?"

"Well, since you asked so nicely," he teased and poked me gently in the ribs, "I made us reservations at AquaKnox here in the hotel. The concierge said they have one of nicest bars around, so I figured we could get a drink or two before dinner. Then I thought we could go over to the Freemont Street Experience. They are going to have a ton of tribute bands, they have street vendors, and games - it's just like a street fair. I also made a reservation for a gondola ride during the midnight hour so we could enjoy the fireworks. Everyone said The Venetian has the best display, and the gondolas are a prime spot to view them."

"Wow, you weren't kidding when you said you had everything planned out."

"Why don't you start getting ready first, I'm going to check in with everybody back home and see how they're doing."

"Tell them I said hi and I miss them please," I called as I walked to the bathroom.

I took my time getting ready for the evening. I chose the red strapless chiffon cocktail dress Alice had packed for me. It was probably one of my favorite pieces from the fall line, I loved the broach detailing at the empire waist, and the way the fabric gathered at the bodice. Though if I was really being honest with myself, I had actually decided on that dress because it left my shoulders and collar bone exposed, and I know how much Edward enjoyed kissing me there.

I decided to really vamp it up for the evening, since it was New Years Eve after all, and fixed my hair in victory rolls and curled the back so it fell in soft waves. Alice had been kind enough to pack me my favorite pair of naughty heels, they were black peep toe kitten heels that I was actually able to walk in comfortably for many hours at a time. With the long list of activities that Edward had planned, the last thing I needed were uncomfortable shoes.

I was just finishing my make up when Edward made his way out of the bathroom looking so fuckhot I wanted fly back to Forks and kiss Esme for birthing such a fine specimen.

He came up behind me and looked at me in the mirror, his eyes roaming over my body causing the blood to rush to my cheeks. Edward carefully gathered my hair in his hand and moved it all to my left shoulder. With his perfectly angular nose he traced the line of my neck from behind my ear to the top of my shoulder only to move his mouth to my collar bone and suck gently.

"I'm sorry Bella, but you look so enticing I couldn't help myself."

"Huh, I'm sorry, what?" I asked slightly dazed.

"Come on, sweetheart, are you about ready?" he asked smiling at me.

We made our way down to the massive lobby of the hotel and walked through the casino and past all of the shops to make it to the restaurant.

Luckily, we were able to find a small booth tucked away in the corner of the bar. Our waitress was at our table immediately. She looked Edward over as she asked him what he would like from the bar.

_Hey bitch, you're supposed to take the lady's order first. P.S., you don't have a chance in hell, my man doesn't go for blondes._

She returned with our drink orders, still completely ignoring me as she placed my drink on the table. You would think I would be used to this by now, but I still wanted to pull some hair and bitchslap these dumb sluts that hit on Edward right in front of me.

As we enjoyed our drinks, Edward started explaining about a new project his company was working on which would revolutionize prosthetics.

_You are such a loser, the pretty man across the table helps people walk again or pick up their kids. You, you just make sure your bitchy self-centered models have actually eaten, or aren't too drunk to walk down a runway._

"So what can you tell me about this potential investor that you guys might have? Was Alice excited about it?"

"Well, you know Alice stays in a constant state of excitement, when I told her about it she was absolutely beside herself with joy. She had wanted me to call them back that night even before we'd sent the paperwork to our attorneys, something about she 'had a good feeling about this'. Right now it looks like it could be an opportunity to expand cross country. I have an appointment to meet with Sam, our attorney, when we get back to Miami. There really isn't a lot I can say about it. All the paperwork we received was pretty specific about not discussing details until we had moved on to the next round of negotiations."

"Ok, I understand you can't tell me any specifics, but could you at least point in a direction on a map where you could possibly be expanding? I would like to start looking at some job openings in other cities and particularly cities where you might find your lovely self as well."

"Unfortunately that is part of the specifics detailed in the non-disclosure agreement at the moment, so let's not jump the gun."

I watched as Edward's face fell a little.

_Fuck Bella, bitchy much? You could have handled that with a little more finesse._

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound so blunt, you understand what I'm saying right?" I asked as I moved my hand across the table to grab his.

"No, I do, I was just hoping there might be a chance of us living closer, or even in the same city, in the foreseeable future." he replied squeezing my hand, "We'll just have to save this discussion for another time."

We finished our drinks and the Maître d' informed us that our table was ready. Our exquisite dinner was filled with the easy conversation and playful banter we always shared.

We grabbed a cab and headed over to the street fair. It was crowded and buzzed with excitement like everything seemed to on New Year's Eve. We walked through the crowd holding hands and enjoying each other's company.

Right as Edward was buying me a bag of cotton candy I heard the opening bass chords and started to squeal.

"You said they had a bunch of bands right? Were they going to have a Bowie tribute band?" I asked Edward as looked around the trying to figure out exactly where the music was coming from.

"Yes, they were, I can't believe you were able to pick up that song just from the bass line. Come on, I think the stage is over this way."

"How could I not know that song from the bass line alone, it is positively epic. It still makes me want to cry when I think of how Vanilla Ice bastardized it."

"Ahhh, Bella, who doesn't like a little 'Ice Ice Baby'," he asked moving us through the crowd.

We made our way over towards the stage just as the band launched into the first verse. I shook my hips like a fool singing along, this is probably going to be the closest I was ever going to get to seeing Davie Bowie and I planned on enjoying it.

We stayed for the band's entire set and both of us sang every single word to 'China Girl', laughing like kids the entire time.

"I think we should start to head back to the hotel, the strip is so crowded it might take a little while to get back over there," Edward said while he glanced at his watch.

We found a cab and made it back to The Venetian in a little less than twenty minutes, which seemed like a huge feat considering the streets were teeming with people.

Edward had already arranged everything for our gondola ride so he knew exactly where to go, he even knew the name of our gondolier.

_Once a boy scout always a boy scout._

He helped me into the boat gracefully and sat down next to me. He grabbed the blanket across from us and covered our laps.

It was absolutely breathtaking, with the soft glow of the lights from the hotels dancing across the water. It was surprisingly quiet considering we were in Las Vegas, I shouldn't have been surprised though, everything about The Venetian seemed to have been so well thought out.

I laid my head against Edward's shoulder and looked out over the canal, trying to memorize this moment.

"Mr. Cullen, it's almost midnight, would you and the lady like a glass of champagne?" Francesco, our gondolier asked.

"Yes, thank you," Edward answered his eyes never leaving my face.

I heard the pop of the champagne bottle and Edward asked if he could have the cork.

"I'm saving it as a memento," he whispered against my ear causing me to shiver slightly.

With champagne in hand Edward looked down at his watch with an excitement that warmed my heart. He looked up from his wrist and leaned closer to me. "10 , 9, 8, 7, 6, 5 , 4, 3 , 2, 1"

"Happy New Year," we both breathed our lips only mere inches apart.

Edward grabbed the side of my face with his free hand and pulled me against his lips. He kissed me fiercely and with so much passion I whimpered against his skin.

Both of us remembering we were not alone caused us to break the kiss while resting our foreheads against one another as we tried to catch our breath. It wasn't until that moment that I actually noticed the fireworks going off above our heads. Red and silver filled the sky and seemed to flutter back down across the water.

Edward pulled back a little from me and lifted his glass up.

"To a love that was never lost," he toasted and touched his glass to mine.

We enjoyed the last of the gondola ride, taking in all of the fireworks displays the other hotels were doing as well.

Once we had returned back to where we began we took our time walking through the hotel back to our room.

After returning to our room, we realized that we didn't have a bottle of champagne left in the minibar. Edward said that it was a travesty to only have one glass on New Years and went down to the concierge desk to see if he could locate another one.

Alone in the room I walked over to my suitcase and removed the dress box. I stared at it for a few minutes, the nerves from earlier returning, before finally deciding to just put it on and see how he reacted.

I brought the box with me into the bathroom and undressed quickly. I put on the smaller pieces of fabric first lacing them and adjusting to make sure it couldn't be seen through the dress that would go on top.

I pulled out the long white dress and quickly pulled it over my head, knowing that if I thought about this for a second longer I would chicken out completely.

Just as I heard Edward coming back into the room I pulled my hair off of my face and into a high braided pony tail. I touched up my make up and added a darker red stain to my lips.

With a surge of newly found courage I quickly turned the handle and walked into the bedroom. Edward had his back to me putting the ice bucket with the champagne on the table. I held very still waiting for him to turn back around before speaking.

Edward turned to walk into the sitting area but stopped dead in his tracks as he caught a glimpse of me out of the corner of his eye.

He didn't speak or do anything really, except turn his body completely towards me so he was looking at me head on.

_What a stupid idea, dumb dumb dumb Bella! What were you thinking?_

"Is that what I think it is," Edward half whispered as his eyes moved over me slowly.

"Do you like it," I asked sheepishly wishing I could have gone back in time and never put this stupid thing on.

"You stand here in front of me, dressed as Princess Leia, and ask me if I like it? Of course I like it. No, actually, I fucking _love_ it."

"Well in that case," I purred regaining confidence in my little plan. I removed the belt that hung low on my hips of the loose white dress and let it fall to the floor. I reached behind my back, releasing the zipper, and shimmied out of the dress letting it pool at my feet.

"Help me Edi Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope," I feigned a voice of desperation while wearing the slave costume Leia wore in _Return of the Jedi_. The small cups on the bra top left very little to the imagination and the skirt, if you could call it that, was really just two panels of material in the front and the back that were held together by a bronze belt.

Edward crossed the room to me in few quick steps looking positively feral. He ran his long beautiful fingers down my neck and traced the edges of my top, before flattening his entire hands against my fully exposed stomach and gripping me tightly at my hips.

"I think you're going to have to use your light saber to rescue me," I purred grabbing him by the belt and making quick work of getting him out of his pants and underwear as he stepped out of his shoes and socks. Edward still hadn't said a word to me since I'd removed the dress, but I could periodically hear low growls or curses from him.

"You know, if you save me that means I have to become your slave," I whispered at his ear, licking lightly.

I unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it down off of his arms, exposing his tempting tattoo to me. I adored undressing him like this, every time my eyes fell on the ink on his arm it felt like I was unwrapping a present on Christmas morning.

I started to untie the strings from around my neck to remove my top, but Edward quickly caught my hand in his halting my movements.

"No, it stays on," he growled shaking his head.

_Oh yes, The Force is strong with this one indeed!_

He moved both of his hands back to my hips, sliding his hands in the opening between the material. His hands continued their trek down my thighs and hissed as he met bare skin.

"Bella…you aren't wearing any panties. You know what that does to me."

"I don't know what it does to you Edward, I think you need to show me."

Before I could get the words completely out of my mouth Edward had lifted me up by my ass. The long piece of silky purple material of my skirt fell between us creating the most sensual feeling when Edward pressed his erection into me. I was so wet and I ached for his touch. I writhed against him trying to create as much friction as possible.

He lifted me up his body a little higher and supported me fully with one arm as he moved his hand to the small bundle of nerves that begged for his skillful touch. With small quick circles my breathing began to come in short gasps. When I felt like I couldn't take another second of the delicious torture he slid two fingers into me and pumped in perfect harmony with his thumb. I fell over the edge in complete ecstasy.

Edward held me to him for a second, but I refused for the moment to pass, I wanted him to take me, any way it was that he wanted. I reached down and grabbed his hard dick in my hand.

"Remember I'm you're slave now, show me what it is I do to you Edward," I purred trying to egg him on to completely let loose.

With a small growl he walked us over to the bed and placed me on my feet. He spun me around instantly pushing the fabric of my skirt aside and softly pushing my torso against the bed. I felt step behind me between my open legs.

He pressed himself against me and I whimpered at the contact, pushing myself up against him. He bent over my back and placed small kisses over my neck and shoulders until he reached my ear lobe and sucked, causing me to press harder against him.

"This is what you do to me Bella," he rasped, and at once had entered me fully.

His thrusts were deep and forceful and I craved more. I met him with every movement working our bodies together in perfect sync. Edward grasped onto my shoulder as he quickened his pace working himself in and out of me faster and harder with each thrust.

He grabbed at my hips and pushed them higher on the bed which allowed for him to move deeper inside of me. I clawed at the bed and moaned as Edward pushed into me over and over again.

"God, Edward I'm so close," I sighed.

With two more thrusts my body had reached its limit and I was tightening around him as he came inside of me. He slowly rocked inside of me for a moment before collapsing against my back. Our breathing was so labored you could hear every breath that escaped our mouths.

I moved to crawl up onto the bed completely and utterly exhausted. Edward climbed into bed and helped me remove what remained of my clothing and laid me down against his chest.

"Goodnight Edward," I whispered as I placed my hand on his cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too," he answered then placed a soft kiss on the palm of my hand and laid it over his heart.

* * *

"Okay, so did you check the bathroom, you're sure you didn't leave anything there?"

"Yes, Edward, I checked it already. I even looked in the shower."

"Our flight leaves at 6:oo p.m. so we should probably leave in an hour," he called from the sitting area checking once again that we weren't leaving anything.

I walked to him and pulled him over to the large window that had a beautiful view of the strip.

"Thank you," I said twining my fingers around his neck and looking up into his eyes. "This was the best present, vacation, holiday, you name it, I've ever had, and it's all because of you."

"Bella, the pleasure was truly all mine. Don't think I'm not really just selfish at heart, I mean I get you, a vacation I get to come on as well, and spend every single hour of the day with you. I think I should be thanking you."

"Then you're welcome," I giggled releasing him and going to gather my suitcases together.

"You know I think we did just about everything there was to do in Vegas, except get sloppy drunk and have an Elvis impersonator marry us," I called from the bedroom.

"Well, we still have time before our flight if you feel we need to cross that off our to-do list," he said as he wrapped his arms around me from behind.

"You're right. We do have plenty of time for that," I laughed.

* * *

AN: This update is brought to you by Jimmy Eat World's _Just Watch the Fireworks_, the imagery of George Lucas and our very hardworking TFX who's hubs wants her to be Princess Leia for Halloween this year.

Outfits will be on our profile page if you would like to see them….

Reviews are less exciting than imagining Geekward dressed up as Han Solo…


	18. Nothing Is Real But the Girl

**Congratulations to the amazing mcc101180, who won both of our auctions in the most recent round of the Support Stacie Author Auction – Thanks Mel for showing us the love and for helping raise some greenbacks to help out Stacie!**

**XXXXX – On Saturday September 19****th**** we will post our first lot of entries for the NaughtyHeels Contest. You don't want to miss it! - XXXXX**

**Please take a chance to check out our latest: The "I love 80's Music" NaughtyHeels Anonymous One Shot Contest. We are co-hosting with our very special friend Heelstominivan. **

**Entries are due Sept. 30****th****. Find all of the details and our first round of entries here: http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2060377/naughtyheelsanonymouscontest**

**Also please note that during the duration of the contest entry period, we will only be posting every other week, so look for our next update on Friday October 2nd. (As long as FFnet cooperates, of course.)**

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and the original incomparable Edward, Rob brings him to life, and we make him sweat - just not to the oldies…**

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**Chapter 18 - ****Nothing Is Real But the Girl**

**(EPOV)**

"You know I think we did just about everything there was to do in Vegas, except get sloppy drunk and have an Elvis impersonator marry us," she called from the bedroom.

"Well, we still have time before our flight if you feel we need to cross that off our to-do list," I teased as she stepped through the doorway. I quickly wrapped my arms around her, burrowing my face into the soft skin of her neck.

"You're right. We do have plenty of time for that," she laughed.

_I'd marry you today if I thought you were ready my Bella…_

I tickled her neck with the tip of my nose then softly suckled her tiny ear lobe. "I know something else we can cross off of our to-do list before we check-out…"

* * *

The flight back to Washington wasn't nearly as eventful as the one down to Vegas. Between our New Years celebration the night before and our not-so-quickie prior to check out this morning Bella was exhausted, so it was not a surprise when she slept the entire flight home.

As soon as we were seated she'd buckled in and lifted the arm rest from in between us. I'd wrapped my arm around her and she'd settled against my body as close as the airline seating would allow. She was asleep before we'd even taxied to our runway.

I savored the feel of her tucked into my arms and repeatedly kissed the top of her head and stroked her silky hair knowing that we only had hours left before we would again have to part ways.

_I can't keep doing this. I can't stand not seeing her every day. I can't stand the thought of not being able to hold her in my arms for weeks at a time._ I nestled my face against the hair on the top of her head inhaling her scent. I smoothed the hair away from her forehead and kissed the smooth skin just below her hairline. _I love you Bella, I need to be with you, always. _

Something had to give and soon, but I knew I had to be patient. I couldn't start looking for a new position without knowing if Bella was going to be relocating and to where a move would take her. I had been angry that she wouldn't give me more details about the investor negotiations at first, but the business man in me understood that in reality she couldn't disclose that information without putting the deal at serious risk. It wasn't a matter of trust, it was a matter of legality, and no matter how much I needed to know the details, she and Alice had worked too long and hard for me to potentially sacrifice their dream for my own selfish wants.

I just kept assuring myself that I could start looking the moment I was allowed to be 'in the know'. That would have to be enough for now.

I gently woke Bella as the plane made its descent. We had one more short flight to get back to Port Angeles, where Alice and Jasper would be waiting to pick us up for the drive home.

* * *

"Edward," Bella groaned against my lips, "everyone is downstairs waiting for us."

"And…?" I whispered, moving my lips to Bella's neck

"That's not fair Edward," she whined slightly, as she half heartedly tried to pull her soft skin from my wet tongue.

"Bella, the entire car ride from the airport all I could think about was kissing you, but thanks to your evil friend I was stuck in the front seat talking to Jasper. Can you really deny me a few moments alone with my beautiful girlfriend?" I asked giving my best pouty eyes.

"Never," she laughed softly pulling my face back to hers.

_Wow…did you just pouty-face your girlfriend into making out with you? I'm going to have to confiscate your balls for a while for that move._

I returned my lips to Bella's neck and worked slowly down to her collar bone, humming against her skin as I licked at the soft flesh under my tongue.

I was pretty sure that Bella had realized my affinity for this part of her body, as her current clothing choices all seemed to allow me quick access to her neck and collar bone.

I was almost ready to give in to Bella's pleas and join everyone else downstairs for "Family Game Night" when she wrapped her fingers in my hair and tugged….hard.

_Fuck Yes! Monopoly will have to wait, Naughty-Bella just got here and I think she has a different game in mind._

"_Bella__," I growled half warning and half questioning._

She responded by moving her free hand down over my jeans and stroking my cock with the palm of her hand.

_All systems, we are go._

I swiftly picked Bella up by her ass and moved her over to the top of my dresser causing all of the pictures to fall to the floor. I stepped in between her legs and removed the soft sweater she was wearing.

_Dear God…the polka dots, she knows they're my favorite. How does she NOT expect for me to fuck the living hell out of her when she is wearing a polka dot bra?_

"Are you just going to stand there?" she purred.

My mouth was back on hers within a second and I was not starting with soft kisses. I needed Bella, craved her. It was as if my body was aware that our time was coming to a close again and it demanded her.

I moved my hands down over the soft cotton of her bra, enjoying the way her beautiful tits fit in my hands perfectly. I felt her hard nipples straining against the fabric as I rolled them between my fingers.

Bella started unbuttoning her pants and wiggling out of them as I continued my shameless groping.

I dropped down to my knees and helped remove her pants completely from her legs. I gripped at her hips pulling her to edge of my dresser. My eyes roamed over her body enjoying the slight flush of her skin before finally meeting her gaze. I moved my face closer to her, never breaking my eyes from hers, until my cheek was against her thigh.

"Edward," she hissed as she laced her fingers in my hair urging me closer.

I closed the gap between us and nipped gently at her skin under the fabric. I grasped her hips firmly in my hands and pulled her flush against my mouth breathing hot air over her panties.

Bella's head fell back against the mirror and I could hear it thud against the wall. I continued breathing and licking against the fabric until she was bucking her hips with such intensity I could no longer hold on to her.

I hooked two fingers into her panties and moved them to the side exposing her wet flesh to me.

"Yes, Yes, Yes," I heard her chant as my tongue reached out to taste her.

"Oh my God Edward," Bella yelped out.

_Clearly sir, you have skills. _"I know, baby" I answered against her skin feeling the slightest bit smug at how loud she was being even though my family was still downstairs.

"No, Edward!" She hissed.

_Wait, she sounds mad. That wasn't like a 'No, Edward I can't take it anymore because your abilities to make me cum should be considered godlike.' It was more 'No, Edward stop what you are doing right this moment.''_

I looked up at Bella to see her face frozen in a look of pure shock and horror. I followed her gaze and saw my dad standing at the door looking up at the ceiling.

Bella jumped down and snatched her clothes off the floor as she flew to the bathroom, knocking me squarely on my dumbfounded ass.

_I think pops just saw you giving a little lalala to your girl._

As soon as Bella had shut the door, Carlisle looked at me and started apologizing.

"Edward, I'm so sorry. We heard some stuff fall and then some thuds. Your mother sent me up here to check on the two of you."

"Well, you could have at least knocked before just barging in," I huffed, standing up off the floor. I was starting to get more pissed off by the second.

"I did knock, I even asked if I could come in and then I heard Bella say 'yes, yes, yes,'… Go ahead and get ready and you guys come down stairs. Your mom baked some brownies and Monopoly is all set up and ready to go."

Carlisle started to leave and stopped to turn back from the door and face me.

"Can I just ask you one question?" He asked, as the corners of his mouth started to twitch.

I shrugged and motioned for him to continue.

"Why didn't you stop when she was yelling and hissing at you?"

_Fuck, how long had he actually been there? You think you are so skilled, you don't even know the difference between a girl in pleasure and one begging you to stop as your dad stands there. Fucktard._

"I thought she meant something else," I mumbled at my feet all of a sudden feeling even more embarrassed about the situation_._

Dad just gave me a shit-eating grin and walked out of the room making a big deal to lock the interior lock on the handle before closing it.

After fifteen minutes of assuring Bella it was fine and she had nothing to be embarrassed of she finally agreed to come downstairs with me. Though, the color had yet to return to normal on her face.

"Hello Love Birds," mom sang as we made our way down the stairs.

"I ate your brownies Eddie….I figured you had already eaten." Jasper called from the couch where he and Alice were laying. I heard Alice's muffled giggles as she hid her face in Jasper's chest.

I gave him a warning look when I heard Bella clearing her throat next to me.

_Actually dickhead I never actually got to my meal so shut the fuck up before I junk punch you._

"Come on guys, I've got some real estate on Boardwalk I need to buy," Carlisle called from the kitchen.

Alice was up off the couch pulling Bella along behind her before I knew where she went. I walked over to the couch where Jasper was still laying and held out my hand to help him up. I grabbed his hand and heaved him up off the couch and then kneed him in the crotch as he stood.

"NUT TAP," I yelled before I let him drop back on the couch and walked to the kitchen.

"Asshole!" Jasper called from the living room.

I took my seat next to Bella as she and Alice figured out plans for tomorrow's trip back home.

"We'll drive you all to the airport tomorrow you don't need to worry about it dear."

"Oh, Esme we don't want to inconvenience you, I could ask my dad."

"Bella, I wouldn't dream of it. Anyway, if I want to see Edward then I will have to take you since I am certain he will not be leaving your side until you board the plane and even that might be by force."

"You couldn't be more right mom," I responded and wrapped my arm around Bella's shoulders kissing her on the cheek.

I watched the smile spread across my mother's face. She didn't need to tell anyone she was happy, you could almost feel it rolling off of her. She had her boys home, they were both happy, healthy and moderately successful.

I watched as Jasper stalked into the room and sat down at the table across from me. I'm fairly certain the way he was looking at me would be classified under "look of death". _You might want to rethink the 'nut tap' when you just got caught trying to get into Bella's panties and you don't want your brother to say anything about it. SHITBAGS, I'm screwed._

"So what did you eat for lunch today, Edward, tacos?" Jasper asked halfway through the game. I heard Bella choke on her drink as I stared at my _former_ brother in disbelief.

"Enough, Jasper." I warned as I heard the rest of the table snickering.

"Oh, guys come on, that wasn't nearly as bad as the first time Carlisle walked in on us," Alice giggled as she patted Bella's back. "It was the night of the reunion, after you and Edward had already left. Jasper and I decided we should get to know each other. We had a little sleep over here and the next morning Carlisle was looking for Edward and decided to ask Jasper. Only, Jasper and I were a little busy."

"Don't you mean you and Jasper were getting busy, sweetheart," Mom corrected as she winked at Dad.

"Actually I believe the term is post-coital dear," dad chimed in.

I looked over at Bella, who's mouth was hanging open. I know Charlie wasn't exactly a talker, but I think my family might be on the totally opposite side of the spectrum.

"I was like totally naked, Bella, and Jasper had to jump on top of me to cover me up because we had pretty much stripped the sheets when he wa-"

"Ok, Alice I get it. It was embarrassing can we move on?"

"Bella, all I'm saying is you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Last night when Esme walked in on us in the laundry room she just turned the light back off and shut the door," Alice chirped seemingly oblivious to the insanity of the situation.

"Yeah, I've been giving Ali a tour of every room in the house," Jasper smirked at me as he reached for Alice's hand across the table.

After a game each of Monopoly, Taboo, and Dirty Minds we all decided to call it a night since we had a pretty long day of travel ahead of us.

I sat on the bed and watched as Bella changed into her pajamas, brushed her teeth, and washed her face in the bathroom.

"What?" she asked smiling when she caught me looking at her.

"I was just thinking how beautiful you look. Believe me I enjoy every second we spend together, but I think when we're getting ready for bed is my favorite."

"Are you sure it's your favorite way we spend time together?" She teased as she pulled back the covers on the bed.

"Well, excluding _those _times, yes it is my favorite. I think it's the routine I enjoy the most. Like when you change into your pajamas I know you're going to fold up your clothes even though you just throw them in the hamper, or after washing your face you always sigh a little into the towel when you dry it off. I like knowing that if we're getting ready for bed together that means we're going to wake up together."

"Edward," she whispered as she wrapped her arms around my neck and buried her face into my shoulder.

I pulled her completely up against me as I rested my back against the headboard. I rocked our bodies gently as I hummed into her hair.

"Can you just hold me tonight Edward?" Bella asked as she looked up at me, her warm brown eyes wet from tears. "With us having to say goodbye tomorrow I need to feel your arms around me for the rest of the night."

"Of course, honey. There is nothing I would rather do than hold you in my arms." I answered after I turned off the light and laid back down on the bed.

As Bella placed her head on my chest, and I wrapped her against me as tight as I could I felt the ache already starting to settle in. I knew we were going home tomorrow, and every time it just seemed to get worse and worse. But this time the stakes were higher, and we had shown our cards. If I thought being away from Bella was hard before, I think I might be in a world of trouble now.

"Edward," Bella whispered searching for my eyes in the darkness, "I just want you to know that you are the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing before I fall asleep."

"Me too, Bella. I love you."

"I love you too."

I don't know how long I laid there, fighting sleep, not wanting to drift off and allow the morning to come.

The ride to the airport was rather quiet; we'd all piled into Carlisle's suburban, which he never used. Jasper and I fought to get in first to make it to the back seat just like we had when we were kids. I wanted as much privacy with Bella as I could and if that meant some shoving and elbowing so be it.

We'd finally talked Mom and Dad into just dropping us off at the terminal instead of parking and coming in as well. It was going to be hard enough to say goodbye to Bella, I really didn't think I could handle my mom crying too.

"I love you my sweet, sweet boy," Esme whispered as I bent down to kiss her on the cheek. "It's all going to work out sweetie…patience."

The four of us made our way into the terminal after checking the girls' ridiculous amount of luggage. We only had an hour before Bella's and Alice's flight departed so we had to hurry and get through security since the airport was full of holiday travelers.

Thirty minutes later we stood at gate seven all looking as if someone had shot our dog.

"Ughh, ok guys lets pull it together. I don't want to have to get Botox in a few years from all the sad-sally faces. Jasper and I will be out of sight of small children and the elderly - come find me if I'm not back when we start boarding."

"Blech, I don't think I want to, God only knows what those two could be doing." Bella laughed.

"Come here," I smiled as I pulled Bella up against me, resting my back on the pillar behind me. "You're going to call me the moment you land?"

"Yes, and then when I get home too." Bella said rolling her eyes a little.

"I'm sorry, I just worry about you. I like to know you're safe."

"I know Edward, I think it's sweet, and I and rather enjoy calling you so it all works out."

"Did you have a nice Christmas?" I asked smoothing her hair away from her face.

"The best one I could've ever imagined, and New Years…..I just don't think anything could ever compare to that."

"Me either, I think I might be a little spoiled now. I think I might just have to spend every holiday with you to make it bearable." I chuckled.

"No complaints here."

"Hey thanks a lot for coming to get me," Alice pouted behind Bella.

"Huh? I didn't hear anything." Bella said, turning to face Alice. My body protested against the loss of her presence.

"Yeah they just said boarding for all rows. You know that means all the good seats are taken. If I have to sit next to some old guy that wants to show me pictures of his grandkids and farts in his sleep I am going to kick your ass Bella!"

I grabbed Bella's hand as we all moved towards the gate. Before she could hand her boarding pass to the overly perky attendant I pulled her back for a proper good bye. Short on time or not, Bella wasn't leaving without a kiss.

I cupped her cheeks in my hands and tilted her face up to mine. I kissed her lips softly as I smoothed away the tears with my thumbs.

"I love you Bella Swan."

"I love you too," she whispered as she pulled away and handed her boarding pass over.

I felt my stomach clench as she walked through the doors. _Suck it up crybaby…you knew what you were getting into._

_

* * *

  
_

I grudgingly accustomed myself back into my normal routine. It was much harder to go home alone after work now that we had put the big 'L' word out there. I didn't regret sharing my feelings with her, I would have shouted it for the world if I could have, it just made our separation that much harder.

It was amazing how quickly I'd habitualized my sleeping habits to include her after only that one week together in Vegas. I'd spent the last two weeks tossing and turning at night not being able to get comfortable without her cuddled into my side. I didn't think I'd ever get used to not having her next to me every night, and hoped I'd never have to find out either.

We made a point to talk daily, which was a definite step up and in the right direction. If we couldn't actually be together, we could at least be the first voice each other heard in the morning when we woke and the last voice we heard at night. It was a small comfort, but an indulgence we both enjoyed. We also texted throughout the day. Even just a short 'I love you' would get me through the day.

I'd really been looking forward to this day, though. It was the day of Bella's and Alice's big meeting with the lawyers regarding the investor. Hopefully new information would be forthcoming…especially the details pertaining to their potential location.

I had an overwhelming urge to move forward in our relationship, and that just couldn't happen with us living so far apart. Even if we didn't share an apartment, we at least needed to be within driving distance of each other. I checked my watch and noticed that she had about fifteen minutes before the meeting was scheduled to start. I picked up my phone from my desk and jotted off a quick text message before leaving for my own meeting.

_Just wanted to wish _

_you luck before the _

_meeting…_

_Love you – E_

_Thanks, babe. I'm _

_not nervous – excited _

_actually. Will call w/ _

_deets when we are done._

_Love you too._

_3 B_

I smiled as I read her message and grabbed the files I'd need for my presentation.

"Jane, I'm on my way over to Bob Walsh's office for the eleven o'clock presentation." I said as I walked to my assistant's desk. "I won't be back until this afternoon for the three o'clock staff meeting."

"See you this afternoon Edward."

* * *

I looked at my watch again. _Shit I'm late._

I quickly parked my car in the first available space and made my way to the gym entrance. It was a good thing I always changed into my gym clothes before I came to the gym otherwise I would be even later than I already was.

I had been looking forward to working out with Jasper again. Between the holidays and his recent consulting jobs, we hadn't been able to hang out together in a while. I missed my brother. He was my best friend. Until Bella had come back into my life, as strange as it may sound, he was my anchor. He had kept me grounded and helped me relax and enjoy life when I tended to take it too seriously and overwork myself.

I stepped inside and was immediately assaulted by the strong odor of cheap perfume.

_Great, Tiffany is working the desk today… _She'd been hitting on me from day one. She was nice enough, but the girl could not take a hint. At least she flirted from afar and not all up in my personal space like some of the other gym bunnies that hung out around the front desk.

The worst I had suffered at her hands was the day she tried to catch my attention with her own version of a wet t-shirt contest, in which she was the only contestant. Tiff, as she preferred to be called, had been wearing her typical gym attire white sports bra – no shirt and a pair of skin tight almost non-existent shorts. As soon as I had walked through the door she immediately leaned into the water fountain to try and get her sports bra wet. When that didn't work out so well she filled her water bottle and not-so seductively poured it down her chest in some low budget _Flashdance_ moment, all while giving me what she thought were a pair of 'bedroom' eyes… Not so hot. Fucking hilarious really, it was all I could do to hold in my laughter when a look of surprise flashed across her face as the cold water hit her chest – guess she hadn't really planned that one out all the way.

"Good Morning Edward." She wiggled the tips of her fingers at me in some sort of wave. "It's been too long since we've seen you." I walked past her and the air from the vent blew another waft of perfume in my direction. _Someone really needs to tell her that less is more. Seriously, Deborah Gibson called and wants her Electric Youth back._

"Good Morning Tiff." I answered politely and continued on to the lockers to stow my wallet and keys.

Fortunately, it wasn't too busy. Most of the regulars had already been there and gone. Hopefully Jazz and I could have a nice quiet and relaxing work out. I walked back out to the main floor and made my way past the stationary bikes where some weird dude was watching one of those Maury 'Who's Your Daddy?' specials while reading a magazine and eating a rice cake. As I approached the weight training area I chuckled, hearing some poor soul singing rather loudly and off key to Madonna.

I looked around at our usual stations. _Jasper must be running late as well._

There was only one other person in the weight area, who I guessed was providing the vocal stylings ala Bai Ling. _Good thing I brought my own iPod._

_Oh my sweet Jesus! It's him!_ Apparently there was a reason I didn't recognize my own brother. _Holy Fucking Nerdballs!_

Seated on the leg press, eyes closed and fully engrossed in his reps while singing _Like a Virgin_, was my 'big' brother. Wearing…what I can only describe as the gayest outfit I've ever seen, fucking matched from head to toe. He was wearing a fucking sweat band, a SWEAT BAND! He had on a white tank with horizontal black, yellow and blue stripes, that just happened to perfectly match his bright blue banana hammock shorts and yellow high tops. _What . The. Fuck?_ Add to that the way he was currently crooning to the Material Girl and I was stunned speechless, for a moment. _He will never live this down, I swear it!_

With great pleasure I captured this priceless moment on video with my phone and promptly sent it off to Bella and Alice. Then I startled him by jerking one of his ear buds out of his ear.

"How would _you_ know what it feels like to touch a virgin for the first time?" I said trying my best to not crack a smile.

"Oh come on, it's a classic!" Jazz responded taking out his other ear bud.

"_That_ is a truly bad 80's song, I don't care how popular it was Jazz – don't be that girl!" I teased grabbing his hand and pulling him up for a brotherly hug and back slap. "Sorry I'm late bro."

"Not a problem, I've only been here a few minutes."

"Jazz, I only say this out of brotherly love, but what is with the fucking nerdy matching outfit?"

"What, you don't like it?" He laughed. "Alice bought it for me."

"I could live with the shoes, but the rest? What was she thinking?" I scoffed, taking his seat on the leg press.

"I don't know Edward, something about shorter shorts being the new trend." He said as he started his leg curls. "My girl bought it for me, so I'm wearing it."

"Isn't Alice supposed to be some kind of fashion savant or something? This is the best she can do? I must say, I'm kind of disappointed in her taste. Did it occur to you at any point that your ensemble may have been a joke?" I asked, still thoroughly confused about what would drive him to embarrass himself in such a way. Love could move mountains, sure, but I was shocked that it could move a grown heterosexual man into shorts that looked like THAT.

"She wouldn't do that to me bro. She probably just thought my ass would look hot in these killer shorts," Jasper replied, looking alarmingly serious.

"Dude, I am less concerned with your ass in those retarded nylon things, and more concerned that without proper undergarments your balls are going to be forcibly removed from your body. I do not recommend loose junk near the equipment. This is a gym, not a fucking Chippendales revue."

"You're just jealous 'cause you ain't got enough junk in your trunk to rock a pair of these bad boys out. Me? I'm sizzlin'!"

We kept up with our easy banter for the rest of our routine. It was the most relaxed I'd been since Vegas.

"We need to do this more often." I said wiping the sweat from the back of my neck with the towel I'd brought. "I miss hanging with you bro."

"Me too Edward." He picked up his towel and followed me as I walked towards the lobby. "Have you heard from Bella yet? Alice is supposed to call me later this evening, so I haven't heard how the meeting went."

I checked my watch.

"Bella's supposed to call me in about an hour. I was hoping you'd already talked to Alice and could give me the low-down." I laughed as I retrieved my wallet and keys from the lockers. "I guess we'll both have to wait."

"Well hello there Edward." I heard a familiar voice say.

"Hey Brett, it's been a while." I politely replied to the gigantic roided-out man standing at the desk.

"I'd say it's been too long, but it can never be too long." He giggled and winked at me.

_Oh Hell no! Not again! I'd hoped after the locker room incident I'd made it clear I was straight._

"I see you've brought that luscious brother of yours back as well. Hi Jasper," he smiled and wiggled his fingers at Jazz.

_Time to leave…_ "We were just on our way out, Brett. We'll see you around."

"We sure will honey, don't be strangers now. The girls and I have missed your cute little tushies the last few weeks." He moved away from the counter and started to walk our way, pausing to slip a card into the open top of Jasper's gym bag.

It was all I could do to keep myself from laughing at the look on Jasper's face. He just stood there in shock as Brett walked away after he'd held his pinky and thumb up to his face in imitation of a phone and mouthed 'call me' before continuing on to the locker room.

"You can thank Alice for that one. That's why I always shower at home. Typically Brett approaches guys in the locker room. The last time I showered here he slipped his card into the waistband of my boxers as he walked by, but obviously with your new clothes..." I paused to look him up and down, "he felt pretty confident that he was your type."

I opened the door before turning to add one final jab to his deflated ego with a wink for good measure.

"Oh…and I should warn you...rumor has it...Brett is never the bottom."

I got home and finished my shower just as Bella's ring tone echoed in my bathroom.

"Hey Beautiful," I answered putting the phone on speaker.

"Hey Handsome, I miss you."

"I miss you too. How'd it go?" I said pulling on a pair of sweats.

"It went very well. I think this is actually going to happen." I could hear the happy in her voice. _This really was going to happen…_

"That well, huh? Sooooo…are there any details?" I couldn't help myself, I had to ask. _Very subtle Edward._

"Actually, I have a lot of details. We still don't know who the investor is though. It's a silent investor working through a brokering firm. Castanea Partners out of Boston?"

"I'm not familiar with them." I sat on my bed and closed my eyes and tried to imagine she was right here next to me instead of on the phone.

"Well they do a lot of investment brokering in the fashion industry. They're kind of like a head hunter for investment opportunities. Whoever this investor is, wants to mainly be a silent partner - providing the capital for several new boutiques and only garnering a percentage of the profits."

"What kind of percentage are we talking?" I perked up a bit knowing I might be able to offer a few pointers.

"They're offering financing of three boutiques in exchange for forty percent profit sharing. Alice and I are guaranteed complete control of the line and the remaining sixty percent of the business."

"That's not bad, but you might want to consider coming back at them with a counter offer to keep the upper hand. Remind them that they are investing in you for a reason." My mind raced through various scenarios and calculations.

"We already have." She paused. _Really? Let's see what you've got Swan_. "We offered them the sixty/forty split for the first five years, after which they would drop down to thirty percent and receive a lump sum dividend to cover the initial financing."

"Smart girls. Did they accept?" _My girl is brilliant_. I don't think I could be any prouder of her than at this moment.

"The brokers wanted to run it by their client first, they're supposed to get back to our lawyer tomorrow."

"Have they mentioned locations?" _Please God, let it be somewhere I can get a job…_

"The brokers at Castanea have provided us with a list of the best possible scenarios for location and sales, but leaving us with the final decision for the boutiques and our new base of operations at one of the three locations."

"So you'll definitely be moving?"

"Yes. Although one of the options on the list was Miami, Alice and I have discussed it and we think it's necessary for the growth of our company to move our headquarters to another city."

"What are our – er, I mean - _your_ options?" _Smooth dipshit – 'our options' what were you thinking? Try and at least play it cool you pansy._

"Well obviously, there's New York of course, L.A., Chicago…."Bella continued speaking, but she'd lost me at Chicago.

_Chicago. _

Could it really be that easy? Were they going to consider it? _If there is a god up there in heaven please let them consider Chicago!_ I did a little jig where I sat on my bed and then focused back in on what Bella was saying.

"…The broker is arranging for Alice and I to scout each location to see which three will best suit our needs."

"I'm sorry, I kind of got sidetracked at _Chicago_…what were the other two locations?" I could feel the grin plastered across my face at the prospect of having her possibly move here…maybe even move in with me…

"Seattle and Miami." She laughed. "So…um…yeah _Chicago_. I know what you're thinking, and yes Alice and I have placed it at the top of our list, but don't put the cart before the horse here, babe. It's the perfect solution for all of us, but on the off chance that the numbers don't mesh I don't want us to get disappointed, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. It seems almost too good to be true." I sighed. "I'll try to keep my enthusiasm low key just in case."

"So…um...there was something else I wanted to talk to you about."

"Sure, is everything alright? You sound a little nervous." I answered slightly concerned.

"Everything is great actually. I just wanted to talk to you about the upcoming weeks. Alice and I are going to be traveling, a lot. Things are going to get hectic for the next month or so. We're headed to New York first as it's at the top of the list. Then we're going to be heading to Chicago and then on to the West Coast.

I was wondering what you would think of making plans for Valentine's Day in Chicago? Alice and I think we can swing it so that we would be in town that weekend…"

"Hmmm…I don't know…I might be able to work you in…Valentine's is pretty busy for me…you see I have this extremely beautiful and intelligent girlfriend who I love and adore that might keep me pretty busy that weekend..." I teased, thoroughly enjoying myself.

"A girlfriend you love _and_ adore? You must have it bad…" She teased back.

"You have no idea…"

* * *

**AN: This chapter is brought to you by Blondie's **_**Nothing Is Real But the Girl**_** and our overworked and underpaid pkitten21 who couldn't get the job done without her special ladies Meg and Trin…love you bb's you save my ass constantly – I don't know what I would do without you!**

**Special thanks to my girl Heels for the gym speak cuz I'm a lazy out-of-shape- motherfucker! **

**Let's see how many reviews Edward can bench…the NaughtySparkle will spot…bulging straining muscles, dripping sweat…sparkle peen….what? Sorry – kind of got lost in the moment there…**


	19. The Chemicals Between Us

_******Updated for the absent anal-retentive grammarian and to correct a few small continuity errors.******_

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**Disclaimer: Stephanie owns the whole shebang (hee hee... we said SHE-BANG), but we DO own "Pants Off, Glasses On"**

**Chapter 19 – The Chemicals Between Us**

(BPOV) 

"Oh my god Alice, do we have to do this same shit every single time we go anywhere?" I asked, as I saw her eyes scanning the luggage turnstiles, looking for her last piece of luggage that had yet to come by. She was leaning against a pile of no less than six bags, but we still found ourselves waiting for another, that she _swore _she brought. How she could remember what she'd packed with that many bags was beyond me.

"Bella, I am a _designer. _It would be like blasphemy if I ever went anywhere without at least ten clothing options. Do you even have a dress in there?" she asked, as she grimaced pointing to my small suitcase.

"Turn your nose up elsewhere, beyotch. I have everything I need. Don't worry your pretty little head," I snipped playfully back at her. "I pack light because I hate waiting for things like this, but look what I'm doing anyway!"

"Let's be real here. I have no doubt that by the end of the evening it won't matter anyway, because they will all be on the floor of Edward's bedroom," she giggled and smiled knowingly at me.

"Hey! We are perfectly capable of going on a normal date, like normal people, and keeping our clothes on!" I argued. She raised one eyebrow at me, clearly not buying it, and I let my shoulders drop in defeat.

"Oh, who am I kidding? He'll be lucky if we even leave the apartment before tomorrow. Besides, I don't really need a dress, since he's making me dinner at his place," I admitted. Alice nodded her head, laughing to herself.

"Sounds like a naked picnic might be in order. Maybe I can get Jazz to have a naked picnic with me. That sounds so _win_," she giggled.

"I'm gonna go ahead and file that under 'things I wish I could bleach from my brain'. Honestly Ali, you have no idea how much I've missed him. You get to see Jasper all the time. It gets so much harder to leave him every time. That, coupled with all this business stuff we've been busy with, and I haven't even really gotten to talk to him that much lately. I mean, we talk in the morning, and at night, but we haven't really been _talking. _It's been more like a status update lately."

"Just a little bit longer, and this will all be settled. Things will work out, Bells, I promise," she said, patting my arm gently.

"Ooh! There it is!" she squeaked, abruptly changing the subject, as her hot pink garment bag finally coasted towards us on the conveyor.

"Let's get this show on the road, sad sack. We have two very deprived boys who are probably chomping at the bit by now, not to mention that it's Valentine's Day! You can't be sad today. It's a day for love!"

She grabbed her bags and started towards the rental car counter. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at her never-ending enthusiasm. I was all for the love thing. In fact, I was enjoying it very much, but the truth was that Edward and I were dangerously close to an impasse, and I was getting more terrified by the minute. I had pressure coming at me from all directions, and it was starting to feel like everyone's future depended on me.

Alice and Jasper had basically decided that they would settle wherever we moved our business, and with Jasper having a traveling job, their transition would be relatively easy. I, on the other hand, would feel terrible if Edward gave up his job to move where I was. He had basically told me that he wanted to start looking into our potential new locales, but I got anxious every time he asked me if we had any new information. I was conflicted, because as much as I would love to wake up to that gorgeous face every morning, it just seemed like there were too many sacrifices that would need to made for it to become a reality.

I hadn't meant to be short with him when he first asked about our potential relocation, but the truth was that I didn't want to jinx it. There was something in me that was afraid to disclose Chicago was a possibility, for fear that things wouldn't end up working out and hurt us even more.

When I'dtold him, I could practically hear him jumping out of his chair at the mention of Chicago. It was a possibility, that would have been the ideal remedy for our distance-challenged relationship, but I simply didn't have the heart to tell him that the specs had come back not looking very promising.

Our business advisor had made it clear that our store would have a better chance of success somewhere like New York or Los Angeles. The fashion industry was huge in both of those places. The numbers came back indicating that Seattle would be the next most promising locale and Chicago and Miami had ranked last on the list. We were taking into consideration the local economies, and success of other similar boutiques, and whether or not we would be happy having to live there. Even though Chicago did not look promising for the business, we wanted it to work out so badly, that we kept all of our appointments to view potential real estate for the boutique. Call it denial, but I wanted to pretend that it was still an option, because it would allow for us to be with each other all the time, exactly like we were both longing for.

Honestly, Alice and I had gathered enough data to sit down and seriously discuss our plan of action, I wanted to wait until after we'd visited all the potential cities, so I could be sure. We still needed to hit Seattle and L.A. in the following weeks.

_Stalling much? You KNOW what you need to do, you're just a coward. He wants to be with you, wherever you are. Just. Let. Him._

Alice dropped me, my funky mood, and my _not-Alice-approved_ luggage, off at Edward's apartment building just before three in the afternoon. I wheeled my suitcase through the lobby to the elevator, my heart pounding with anticipation. I shook off my emofunk, and let the excitement hit me. I was about to burst out of my skin just to get to him.

I knocked softly on his door, fully prepared to launch myself at him, when I heard a muffled "_Come in"_ from the other side. I turned the knob, and pushed the door open. Once inside, I was immediately assaulted with the distinct and delicious aroma of Italian food.

"Edward?" I called out. I looked around, but I wasn't able to tell where his voice had come from.

He stepped out of the kitchen looking all kinds of fuck-me fantastic, and I felt my heart jump in my chest just a little.I took three long strides toward him and leapt into his arms.

"God, I've missed you!" I shrieked, as I breathed him in and squeezed him around the neck.

"I've missed you too, beautiful. I'm so glad you're finally here." He squeezed me back gently. "Happy Valentine's Day."

"Happy Valentine's Day to you too, handsome," I said, kissing him lightly on the lips

I released him from my death grip, stepping back slightly to look at him. I noticed he had a long handled wooden spoon in one hand, and an inconspicuous black apron tied around his waist.

"You were really serious about this cooking thing, weren't you? Something smells divine. What are you making?" I inquired.

"Well, um, don't laugh, but I called my mom and asked her which of her recipes you liked the most, and she emailed it to me. I'm currently trying to recreate her vegetable lasagna, and she had me attempting to make the sauce from scratch. I'm gonna go ahead and apologize now, just in case it's terrible," he said, laughing and looking a little sheepish.

"Are you serious? I _love_ your mom's lasagna. I've literally had dreams about it. You're making everything yourself?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I'm trying. My cooking expertise is normally limited to things I can microwave or make from a box, so I can't guarantee anything taste-wise. I just wanted to try and do something special for you."

_How in the hell did I get so lucky? I think the sweet guy who's making me dinner will certainly be getting lucky himself…_

He turned and headed back to the kitchen, and I followed, drawn by the smell of tomato sauce and garlic.

He stood at the counter, looking adorably confused, as he read the baking instructions from what looked like an email printout. He pushed his glasses up his nose, squinting at the lines on the page, and I couldn't help it. I wanted to be closer to him. I grinned to myself as I walked up behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist and hugging him from behind.

"Thank you, Edward, for doing all of this. It's just what I needed. I would so much rather spend a quiet night here with you, than try and brave another club or crowded restaurant. I just want to be with you. I've really missed you," I told him. He turned slightly and put his free arm around my neck, kissing me on top of my head.

"I know, love. I've missed you too. I thought a night in sounded perfect. You've been traveling a lot, and this deal must have you pretty stressed. What you need is a chance to wind down, and I am happy to help my beautiful Bella feel better. That's what I'm here for."

I leaned into him heavily, relishing the feel of him so near to me after so long without him. His hand lazily stroked my hair as he pushed buttons on the oven, setting the cooking time. I ducked out from under his arm, giving him both hands to work with, and settled onto a barstool at the counter nearby.

After sliding the lasagna into the oven, he pulled a bottle of wine from the cabinet, and uncorked it effortlessly. He poured us each a glass, and slid mine to me across the counter, his fingertips grazing my own and sending a surge of want straight to my girly bits. He saw my gaze lock on his hands, as I tried to quell the thoughts of what I wanted him to do with them, and I could have sworn he _knew_ what that simple touch had made me feel, because he stood up a little straighter and flashed me the 'sex-smirk'.

"Hmmm, the food is cooking, and the only thing to do now is wait. Whatever shall we do in the meantime?" he asked, feigning cluelessness.

I giggled, getting his drift, but I wanted to toy with him just a little bit more.

"We could play a game? Do you wanna play cards?" I asked, willing myself to not laugh and ruin the charade.

"No, my love. I was thinking something a little more physical, and much more rewarding."

"What exactly do you mean, Edward? Like Twister?"

"No, Bella. I do _not _want to play Twister." He let out a big breath, his shoulders sagging just a little.

"Am I that bad at the seduction thing? You're making me feel pretty inadequate right now," he joked, and I laughed. It was my turn to tease. I put on my best sexy face, trying very hard to keep it straight, and leaned in close to him.

"If there is one thing you know how to do, Edward…" I purred. "…it's making the lady business want you in all kinds of naughty, naughty, naked ways."

He kept a straight face for about five seconds before we both burst out laughing.

"Lady business? Seriously? I could have totally kept that up if you hadn't thrown in the 'lady business' bit," he told me, still chuckling lightly and shaking his head.

"What's wrong with 'lady business'? I happen to think it's more couth than some of the other slang terms. I mean, some of them are just gross," I said with a shudder.

"So if someone was to, say…whisper any of those slang terms in your ear during a particularly hot moment, would you shudder like that? Or would you like it?" He asked suggestively, waggling his eyebrows at me.

I could feel my heart start to beat a little faster when he pulled away from me and untied the apron from his waist.

"I think I might be okay with that, as long as it involves a visit from the good Captain," I answered coyly.

He took me by the hand and led me to the couch, sitting down and pulling me onto his lap. Our mouths found each other, and our kisses started out slow and tender, but quickly grew more urgent and needy.

Not wanting to waste another second without his skin on mine, I pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it to the side, before pulling my own off. Edward groaned softly as I pressed my satin covered breasts against his chest. He reached behind my back and skillfully unclasped my bra, letting my breasts brush freely against his skin. I splayed my fingers in his tousled hair, and pressed my mouth tenderly to his, savoring the feel of his pouty bottom lip between my own, while his warm hands caressed my exposed flesh.

He rotated slightly to the side, and slid me from his lap onto the sofa beside him, pressing lightly on my shoulders to lean me back. I moved one of my legs between his hip and the back of the couch, effectively placing him squarely between my thighs, and when he let his weight settle on me, it was my turn to groan. The full hard length of him was pressing into me, and I raised my hips up to meet him. I felt his mouth moving in concentric circles between my earlobe and my collarbone, peppering hot open-mouthed kisses in a trail. My need for him was turning into a dull ache, and there was simply too much fabric between us for me to get the kind of friction I was craving.

"Pants off," I ordered, pushing him off of me, while I fumbled with the button on my own, finally sliding them, along with my panties, down and off my legs.

He stood there, hands poised over the final button on his button-flys.

"Glasses on?" he asked, teasing me once again for my infatuation with his eyewear.

"Do you even have to ask? On. Always on," I replied.

He gave me the sexy smirk again, before he stepped out of his pants and boxers, revealing his arousal in the most…er…_prominent _of ways. I licked my lips, and leaned back on my elbows, as he climbed back on top of me and covered my mouth with his, pressing me into the cushion and giving me the direct contact I'd been longing for. I could feel him, rock hard, and brushing against the inside of my thigh.

"Missed you so much," he murmured against my mouth, as he entered me fully, eliciting a gasp from both of us.

"Me too, Edward. Like you wouldn't believe," I rasped, as we rocked together.

We had spent so much time apart, and I had missed him so much, that I wanted to hold him as closely as I could. I wrapped my legs around his lower back, spurring him on, urging him to go faster and harder. Our frenzied pace quickly built to a brilliant crescendo, and left the both of us panting, tangled up with one another, and basking in the afterglow.

He rolled to the side, enveloping me in his arms, and I put my head against his chest, hearing his breathing and heartbeat slowly return to a normal rhythm. I was content, and at peace, and I could feel the love between us flowing like waves of warmth. I wanted to wrap it around me like a cozy blanket, taking it home with me to help stave off all of the uncertainty, fear, and guilt.

In Edward's arms, I felt like I'd finally found home. He was my perfect other half, and I loved him more than I could ever articulate, which is why I felt so terribly guilty arguing with him about his relocation. Edward had made it very clear he wanted to be with me, no matter the sacrifices it entailed. I knew it wasn't fair that I was ultimately the reason we weren't together, even though I wanted to be with him so much it actually hurt. I hated hurting him, and honestly had no idea how he was so patient with me and all of my stupid issues.

_You're looking the gift horse in the mouth, sweetie…and if you don't change your attitude quickly, that gift horse might decide to take his gifts elsewhere. There's no point in him sticking around if you can't give him what he needs._

A shrill sound broke the contented silence, as the timer on the stove beeped loudly, and Edward groaned into my neck, but I was grateful for the distractions from my thoughts. They were headed down a road that might be the best to visit on a non-holiday. I squeezed him gently, and kissed the hollow between his neck and shoulder.

"The last thing I want to do right now is let go of you, but if I burn dinner my mom will give me shit for _years. _Let's go see if I'm capable of making something edible, shall we?"

He carefully extracted me from his arms, and pulled his jeans on quickly before strutting off to the kitchen, barefoot and shirtless.

_I know it's typically something guys say, but DAMN I could watch that man walk away ALL DAY…_

With a heavy sigh, I rose from the couch and pulled his shirt on over my head, my stomach growling at the prospect of a home cooked meal. I walked into the kitchen to find him bent over the open oven, removing the large tray of lasagna.

"Wow, Edward, that looks terrific. You _really_ did this all by yourself?"

"Well, before you got here, I called my mom about six times—so technically she walked me through it—and the pasta is that Ronzoni boxed stuff, but other than that, yeah, I did it myself," he said, grinning proudly.

"I'm going to set the table and then throw on some clothes," I said, as I grabbed the plates and silverware from the counter.

I started to walk away, when I felt his hand grab me by the wrist.

"Please don't change. I love the way you look in my shirt." He let go of my wrist and reached up to brush the hair out of my eyes.

"Okay, Edward. I love wearing it, so it stays on. Do you want me to go grab you a shirt?" I asked, feeling bad for leaving him shirtless.

"No, I'm okay. I don't mind eating like this," he responded.

A thought crossed my mind just then, and I couldn't stop the loud guffaw as it jumped out of my mouth.

"Uh, Bella? Did I say something funny?" Edward stood there looking confused, pot holder in one hand, spatula in the other, naked except for his half-buttoned jeans, and I stood across from him, naked except for his t-shirt.

_What was that Alice had said about a naked picnic? Or us not being able to keep our clothes on?_

"Nothing Edward. It's nothing. Just something Alice said at the airport. She just has an uncanny ability to joke or comment about something, and then later have it turn out to be reality. It's really quite annoying at times."

"Well, what did she say?" he asked, still looking confused.

"It's nothing. I swear. She was just joking about us not being able to stay clothed in each other's presence, and she may have said something about us making dinner into a naked picnic," I answered.

His eyes lit up for a second, and he looked to the food, then to me, then back to the food. I was thinking that perhaps hot tomato sauce and lots of bread crumbs weren't exactly conducive to the idea of a naked picnic, but he still looked like he was considering it. A moment passed, and we looked at each other, waiting for the verdict.

We simultaneously shook our heads and said "Nuh-uh." I was glad we were on the same page, because as appealing as a nude picnic sounded, we could file that away to try at later date, preferably with something a little less hazardous.

We sat down at the kitchen table and immediately dug into the lasagna. I was floored. I cleaned my plate before I knew it, and Edward was looking on, clearly quite pleased with himself.

"Really Edward, that was delicious, and it tasted exactly like I remembered it, back when I used to come to your house for dinner all the time."

I thought back to how long ago it had actually been, when we were just stupid, naïve, clueless kids. Things had been both easy and excruciating back then, and I was baffled by how similar our situation now was. Our chemistry had always been natural, and the comfort I found in him had remained unchanged. Now, however, I was seeing some of the same behaviors in myself from back then, namely my reluctance to just tell him what was going on in my head.

We had started out as strangers, then friends, then mutually oblivious crushes, then strangers again, and now he had become the most important person in my life, and I in his. The gravity of that commitment still rocked me to the core.

"You okay?" Edward asked, pulling me from my thoughts. "You zoned out there for a second."

I blinked quickly and smiled at him.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just reminiscing in my head, about high school, and the way things were with us. Nothing major," I hedged.

"Okay," he said, accepting my answer but clearly sensing there was something more on my mind. "Since we're done eating, I'll put the dishes in the sink and meet you in the living room. I have a surprise for you."

"Yay! I have one for you too. I'm going to go get it, and I'll meet you there. Are you sure you don't want help cleaning up?" I asked, feeling a little guilty that he wanted to do all the cooking _and _all the cleaning.

"No, Bella. I want you to go relax. I'll be there in a few. The remote's on the table c if you want to put on some music."

I nodded my understanding, and when he carried the dishes to the kitchen, I hurried to my suitcase to retrieve his gift.

I hadn't known what to get him, but the day Alice and I went shopping for the guys' gifts, she kept going on and on about the time difference, and jetlag, and it clicked. I'd gone to the jewelers in Miami and picked him up a truly Edward-worthy watch. It was a Citizen Eco-Drive, it ran on light-power, and it had all kinds of different dials and numbers ut I knew was something Edward would geek-out over. I'd even had it engraved on the back.

I took the small wrapped package with me to the living room, and I settled on the couch to wait for him. I picked up the crazy-looking universal remote, and attempted to turn on some music. I hit several buttons, and music flowed out of the speakers. I recognized it immediately. "_The chemicals between us, the walls that lie between us, lying in this bed…"_ It was a song I hadn't heard in years, but I knew it had been popular when we were in high school.

"Bush. How very old school of you," Edward commented as he strode in from the kitchen, smirking at me.

"It's just what was on when I turned on the stereo. I didn't pick it," I defended.

"Bella, I was only teasing you," he responded, with a lopsided grin.

My eyes were trained on his full lips, but in my peripheral vision I saw that in his hand was a very small red gift bag.

"Is that for me?"

"Yep. Is that for me?" he repeated, pointing at the wrapped box on my lap.

"It sure is. I'm holding your package. Come and get it," I joked.

"Oh really? My package you say? If you really want to play like that, we can, but then I'll have to take this pretty bag and put it away for later…that is, unless you want to open it now."

"Of course I do! I just want to give you yours first. Is that okay?"

"Sure, love. However you want to do it is fine by me," he answered as he sat down next to me on the couch.

I handed him the small box, and he grinned at me before pulling the tiny card from the top. He opened it, and read it slowly, his eyes scanning each line.

_**This is our first Valentine's Day, and I'm not really sure what to say other than I LOVE YOU. You're the one that got away, but somehow you made your way back to me. (I don't plan on letting you go again, just so you know). And so the shy girl fell in love with the gorgeous nerd, and all was right with the world. XOXO -B**_

He leaned over and kissed me lightly, swallowing hard and clearly emotional.

"I love you too, beautiful. So much," he said.

He just looked at me for a short moment, before tearing the gold wrapping paper off the box. When he saw the brand on the outside of the case, his grin was wide, but when he opened the box I thought his eyeballs were going to bug out of their sockets.

"Bella this is so great. I've actually had my eye on this very watch for a few months now. How did you know?" he asked.

"I didn't," I replied. "I just saw it, and thought that it looked like you. It does all kinds of stuff, and I thought it might tickle your inner nerd. I even got it engraved on the back. Take a look," I motioned for him to turn it over, and he held it up at an angle to the light, to make out the words.

_**I found love & love was you. – B**_

His grin was huge, and he pulled me over to him, winding his fingers into my hair as he pulled my mouth to his. Our lips brushed against one another's sweetly, chasing all rational thoughts from my mind. If I hadn't, in that exact moment, knocked the little red bag to the floor, I might've forgotten about it entirely. That was the effect Edward's mouth had on me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the bag hit the ground and something small and black fall out of it. I pulled back from Edward, craning to see where it had rolled under the coffee table.

"Here, let me help you," he offered, sliding off the couch, and kneeling on the floor to reach under the table. He grabbed the small black object, pulling up one knee and still kneeling on the other. It was then that I noticed the object in his hand.

It was a box.

A black, fuzzy-looking box.

A black, fuzzy-looking box that I couldn't make out the exact size of.

And he was holding it…

…while kneeling…

…on one knee.

_Holy fuck, holy fuck, holy fuck fuck fuck… this can't be what it looks like, can it? Oh Lord, please don't let him be doing what it looks like he's doing. Breathe, breathe, in and out…_

"Bella, are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost. What's wrong?" he asked, with distinct concern in his voice.

I didn't know how to answer.

If he was planning on proposing, I knew I could possibly throw up, or pass out, or both. I was so not ready for anything like this, and I knew it would tear him apart if I said no. The problem was, I wouldn't _want_ to say no, but I couldn't justify saying yes…yet. He was already offering to give up his job if it meant being wherever I was. I wanted to do the same for him. I wanted to say to hell with all of it, climb in Edward's bed and never leave. The battle between the head and the heart can be very tricky, because even though I wanted all of those things, the rational voice in my mind reminded me exactly why I couldn't. I had worked so hard not to become like my mother, and I was scared that if I said yes it could all fall apart, and I'd be left broken.

I took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes.

"What's in the box, Edward?"

"This is your gift Bella," he answered, looking confused.

"Do you have to give it to me like that? I mean, is your being on the floor part of the, um…delivery?" I inquired further.

"Huh? What? Oh, no. Let me get off the floor," he replied, as he hoisted himself back onto the couch next to me.

I let out a huge breath of relief, as the signs were no longer pointing towards a proposal.

He handed me the small box, and I steeled my nerves before opening it.

I gasped at the contents.

_You are SUCH an idiot. Stupid, stupid Bella. Always jumping to conclusions, and freaking out before there's a valid reason… he for sure thinks you're crazy now…_

Inside the small velvet box was a dainty silver bracelet with several charms on it. It didn't look like a child's charm bracelet, it looked elegant and absolutely breathtaking. I counted the charms. There were five, and I realized that each had a significance for us.

"They each have a meaning," he said. "I know you love my tattoo, and the significance of some of the elements sort of works when you look at you and I."

I raised a questioning eyebrow, so he held the box out and pointed to the charms.

"Allow me to elaborate. The anchor is for our love, which keeps us firmly rooted in the other's heart, even with all the time we have to spend apart. The rose is for your exquisite beauty. The music note is for the first time I danced with you at the reunion, when I finally had the courage to go after what I sparrow is for the freedom and independence that I would never take away from you, no matter how close to myself I'd like to keep you. And last, but not least, is the nautical star. Just like on my tattoo, a star and a sparrow represent the freedom to find true love, and I feel like I've found mine in you"

He was looking at me earnestly, and I could feel the tears forming in the corners of my eyes.

"No, Bella, please don't cry. The gift was meant to make you happy. Are you sure you're alright? Because I really feel like there's something you aren't telling me," he said, as he looked me in the eyes seriously.

I could see him pleading with me with his eyes, trying to will me to open up, but the iron fist just wouldn't loosen. I tried to swallow down the lump in my throat.

"I'm fine, Edward. I don't know what you mean." . He shifted in his seat, and I could feel the mood shift noticeably.

"Bella, pardon me, but I call bullshit. You've been acting strange all day, and I want to know what the hell is going on. You are not fine, so please don't say that to me like I don't know you."

In all the time we'd known each other, I had never heard Edward speak to me in that tone.

"Edward, please, don't push. I really don't want to talk about this right now," I pled.

"No, Bella. I am not going to let this go. Please, tell me what's wrong. Is there anything I can do to help? Anything you need, I'll do it, just please _tell me."_

He looked so hurt and confused, and my carefully constructed wall cracked a little.

"Edward, listen. I love you, more than anything in the world, I do, but you just about gave me a heart attack with the small box and the down-on-one-knee thing. I thought…" I trailed off.

Realization washed over his face as it dawned on him how I had interpreted the scene that had unfolded before me.

"Well, I understand the shock, but would that have been the worst thing in the world?" He asked, sounding a bit hurt, and still looking confused as to why I was so upset.

"No, of course not. I didn't mean that. I just meant…um…I don't _know _what I meant."

"Wait, what? Are you trying to say you want to be with me?" he asked, looking genuinely hurt.

"No! No, that's not what I mean. Of course I want to be with you. That much I am sure of. It's all of the other stuff that makes things complicated and messy, and I feel ill-equipped to handle it. I didn't exactly have a great relationship model when I was a kid."

He looked so down and unsure, I wanted to jump out the window right then for ever causing him pain. I wanted to smack myself upside the head…hard.

_You know, you could always tell him the REAL truth. Like how you don't sleep most nights because you want him in your bed, but you don't have the guts to allow him give up his career for you. Then there's the cherry on top. The fact that you are so terrified that you will lose yourself. You are a coward, plain and simple, and that gorgeous man, who does anything and everything he can to make you happy, wants ALL of you. Not just the pieces you are willing to share. If you can't give him that, then you don't deserve him…_

I swallowed thickly, and took his hand in mine.

"Edward, I'm not trying to make excuses, and I do love you so much. I have issues that I know I need to deal with, and I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings." I admitted.

The hurt fell from his face, and was replaced with some small amount of relief. He wrapped his strong arms around my shoulders and let out a sigh.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you. I love you too. I don't want to fight with you about this. We can discuss it another time. There's no immediate rush."

"Thank you, Edward. Thank you for understanding."

"You know, you've had a long day, with the traveling, and the couch gymnastics, and our first official argument. I bet you're exhausted," he said, sweetly stroking my hair. "Can I run you a bath? With bubbles?"

I giggled and wiped the remainder of the tears from my cheeks.

"Only if you have champagne and strawberries to complete the Pretty Woman trifecta," I responded, laughing, because there was no way he actually had those things.

Edward fidgeted next to me, and went slightly stiff.

"Soooo, if I did have those things, that would be a good thing or a bad thing?" He asked.

_Oh no he did NOT go there, with the 'seduction scene' necessities…_

…but then I imagined Edward feeding me strawberries, and suddenly it didn't seem so silly.

"As much as I hate to admit it, I would really love that. It sounds perfect."

He relaxed against me again, adorable and sweet in his constant quest to shed his former awkwardness, and make me happy, even if it meant doing the cheesiest things imaginable.

"Okay, let me go start the tub, and you go get whatever you need from your bag."

He rose from where we were seated, and I almost didn't let go of his hand. His hand felt so good in mine, like he really was anchoring me to reality.

I entered the bathroom as he was leaving it, and he mumbled a quick "Be right back" as we passed. I could hear the water was running, and the air was thick with steam. I quickly pulled Edwards shirt over my head and slipped slowly into the huge tub.

I sank down into the warm water, trying to rid myself of all of this guilt and uneasiness, and just enjoy the time I had with Edward. As much as I might have thought a bubble bath with champagne and strawberries was a bit cliché I was really enjoying it at the moment.

_Speaking of champagne and strawberries…_

"How's it going out there? I'm starting to get a little lonely here," I called out, trying to return the playful tone to my voice.

"Give me just a second. I'm trying to get everything together. Do you want to listen to some music?" he called back.

"Please and thank you," I answered, feeling the tension lifting with every second. I heard the radio come on, and stations being changed. Edward's laughter filtered into the bathroom, followed by the unmistakable sound of bass, clapping and Beyonce's annoying voice.

"Seriously Edward, since when do you listen to Top 40 music?" I asked, while shaking my head to myself. "You are one of the biggest music snobs I know."

"Bella, come on, I don't live under a rock. Every time I'm at the gym this video seems to be on the TV," he answered. His voice sounded muffled.

"_...If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it…"_

_Damn, I think the universe just sent Beyonce as some kind of messenger of fate..._

Before I could get pulled into yet another hole, with indecision, I saw Edward walking through the bathroom door. Well, walking might not have been the best term for what he was doing; it was more of a strut, with a little ass-shaking thrown in. His previously only jeans-clad body was now beautifully showcased in a snug pair of boxer briefs and a wife beater, and I immediately forgot all about the strawberries and champagne. All I could think about was his tight ass in those shorts, and those long fingers.

_I think you would call that outfit fuckable…_

Right as the chorus started again, Edward began flashing his hand in front of his face, pointing to his incredibly long ring finger, while continuing to shake his rump. As hot as he looked in the outfit, I couldn't help the giggles that escaped from seeing him try his best to recreate one of the worst videos in the world.

My laughter was exactly the response he must have been looking for, because once he heard my giggles he started getting into it more, turning his hip towards me and giving it a little slap.

Watching him do anything he could to bring a smile to my face was more than I could handle in that second. It was funny how something so small and silly could show exactly why I loved him so much. He was always trying to make me happy, and he usually knew exactly what I needed. My heart felt like it was going to burst from all of the love I had for the amazing man, who happened to be standing in front of me shaking his ass.

I beckoned him towards me with one soapy finger. The small distance between us was almost painful; I needed to touch him so badly. He moved right next to the large tub, leaning down to meet my pursed and waiting lips. As soon as his lips touched mine, I fisted his tight white shirt in both hands, quickly pulling him off balance and into the water with me.

We broke out into large fits of laughter, as we worked together to remove his wet clothing, which was clinging to his body like a second skin. After more groping than removing, we were finally able to rid him of the fabric, throwing it onto the tiled floor with a wet _thwack_.

I could still hear the music playing, but the mood had shifted slightly. We were there again, in that place where we were connected. The electric current we shared flowed between us freely as Edward settled behind me pulling my body into his chest. He leaned his lips down to the top of my hair and kissed gently while humming with pleasure.

This was what I loved about us. When we were together we never had to be one certain way. We could be playful and snarky or sweet and loving. We could be anything and everything and it always worked.

I turned my head towards him quickly, requesting a kiss. He leaned his body down into mine, complying as he softly rubbed his lips on mine, but not fully kissing me yet. The sensation of his smooth wet skin against my lips brought a shiver down my spine, causing him to wind his arm around my stomach holding me tighter against his body.

I snaked my hand up into his hair pulling his lips firmly against mine, kissing him with the love and passion that seemed to be filling me completely. I traced his lips with my tongue, then sucked his bottom lip between mine.

As we deepened the kiss further, I felt Edward's hard length pressing into my lower back. I rocked my hips toward him, adding more pressure between us, and swiveling my hips to allow my slick wet skin to rub against him. His head fell back slightly, and he let out a small groan as I continued to work my body on his, while gliding my hands up and down his toned legs.

Edward moved his open mouth down to my neck covering me with tender open-mouthed kisses, as he worked higher to my jaw. He used his strong angular nose to trace the line of my jaw while murmuring into my neck.

He reached for the body wash on the side of the tub, and dispensed a small amount into his hands, rubbing them together to create a lather. Edward started at my shoulders, thoroughly cleaning my skin working all the way down to my hands. Dipping his long elegant fingers under the water, he leaned forward, grasping my legs lavishing the same attention as he had on my arms. I quivered as he made a pass along my inner thighs, aching for him to keep going, but he promptly moved to my stomach using only feather light touches. Continuing his work, he softly grabbed my breasts in his hands, rubbing my hard nipples against the skin of his palms.

My breathing was labored, and I was truly aching for his touch. Finally, he moved one hand under the water, while leaving the other to continue stroking my breasts. My breathing hitched as he ran his fingers up between my slick skin.

"I am just trying to make sure you're completely clean, Bella," he rasped against my ear before sucking the lobe between his lips.

He entered me slowly, moving his fingers up to the sensitive area begging for his touch. As he began making small circles, I released a moan into the warm, heavy air. Again, he made a long, slow pass against my skin, before sliding one finger totally inside of me. Edward moved his thumb back in place and continued his quick movements, while adding another finger pumping slowly in and out of my body.

I felt the tension continuing to build in my stomach, threatening to break free at any moment. Edward knew my body so well that he took the smallest cue from me, curling his fingers and sending me over the edge completely.

"Edward, I love you," I moaned softly riding out the orgasm that had overtaken me.

I rested my head against his shoulder, enjoying the light buoyancy the water gave my heavy limbs.

"I love you too, Bella," Edward whispered, as he wrapped his arms around my stomach, helping me stand.

"Don't you need help cleaning, as well?" I asked feeling guilty for what seemed like the thousandth time today.

"No, Love, I don't. However, what I do need is for you to join me in the bed."

We climbed out of the tub and took our time drying off one another, while placing kisses on the areas we had just dried.

Once he felt we were thoroughly dry, Edward walked into his bedroom and pulled back the covers to his large bed. As I climbed in between the sheets, Edward grabbed the remote for the stereo, changing it to a copy of one of the CDs he had made me during Thanksgiving.

The music danced around the room as I remembered when he had given me this particular CD, explaining that he had chosen all of the songs because they'd reminded him of me. The guitars played in perfect harmony, and I smiled at him and stroked his cheek, realizing that the music was really us. We complimented one another in so many ways.

Edward moved over my body, supporting most of his weight with his forearms. He stared down into my eyes for a minute before he leaned his lips to my temple. He placed delicate kisses across my cheeks, forehead, eyes, and finally my lips.

He settled his hips against mine, pressing the hard length at my entrance. I held my breath in anticipation, waiting for him to push into me. He rocked his hips against mine once again, before entering me slowly.

Our simultaneous moans filled the air, as moved into me completely. He stilled himself and looked into my eyes again. I held his gaze and moved my hand up against his cheek. Edward sighed quietly leaning into my hand, our movements filled with tenderness and love.

He turned his face to place a kiss in the center of my palm, as he slowly began moving out of me. My hand flew to his hair, fisting it tightly at the sensation, and willing him to stay as deep in me as he was. He began thrusting his hips with a slow steady pace, seemingly pushing even deeper inside of me each time. This was not like earlier that afternoon, this was our way of saying everything we felt without a word.

I felt myself become wetter and wetter, as Edward took his time with every movement. The way his hard length slid against my moist flesh caused the feeling in my stomach to quickly return, building more pressure with each thrust.

I knew I was close, but wanted to hold off until he was ready, wanting to share it with him. I moved my hands up to his back, scraping his skin very lightly. Edward hissed at the sensation and began rocking his hips faster. I applied more pressure, running my fingers against his back and shoulders, as he worked me up over the edge. I felt myself tightening around him as my orgasm peaked, provoking a deep moan from Edward as he thrust forcefully into me.

"Bella, yes," he whispered as we came, his eyes pressed together and his mouth slightly open. I watched as he continued to feel his orgasm, bliss and contentment moving across his face. He opened his eyes and gazed into mine as I stroked his hair.

"I love you," my lips whispered against his skin, as I leaned up and kissed his chest at his heart.

I pulled him down in an embrace wanting to feel the weight of his body against mine. He rolled off of me and onto his back, pulling me into his chest. His fingers traced down my shoulders and arms with soft caresses, before capturing my hand in his.

I was just about to drift off into a much needed slumber, when I felt Edwards arm tighten around me slightly. "I've got you, Bella. I love you, and I'm not going anywhere."

Those few words gave me the peace I needed, and I promised myself that soon, very soon, I would tell him the details about Chicago.

**AN: This chapter is brought to you by Bush's **_**The Chemicals Between Us**_** and our soon to be BIRTHDAY GIRL MEG, who at this moment is getting ready to take a bite out of the Big Apple.**

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	20. Unfinished

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**Chapter 20 - Unfinished**

**(BPOV)  
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"Pretzels?"

"Huh?"

"Would you like pretzels ma'am, or could I offer you a beverage?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. No, just two cups of ice please," I answered the flight attendant, knowing Alice was already preparing our in-flight snack.

As the beverage cart moved down the aisle, I watched my best friend quickly organize our snacks and drinks. Over the past couple of weeks we had been doing so much traveling that Alice and I had fallen into a nice little routine. She always insisted on getting drinks and snacks after we'd made it through security, since everything they served on the plane tasted stale and old. This time, she'd even made sure to get fruit to go with our snacks because she was worried I wasn't eating well with all the stress I'd been under.

Sitting there, as she fussed over our food provisions, I couldn't help but feel so lucky to have a friend and business partner as wonderful as Alice. A few days after we had gotten back from out visit in Chicago I'd gone to her and apologized for being such a moody bitch. Not that it was an excuse, but I felt she deserved an explanation, even though she already knew how stressed and disappointed I was about Chicago being unlikely as a possible location. Alice had been so sweet and understanding when I apologized to her for my behavior, although it would have been perfectly justified if she'd stayed upset.

"You're the best," I told her, as I wrapped my arm around her shoulder, pulling her to my side.

"Wow, Bella, I didn't even have to give you chocolate for that. I'm touched."

We went over the itinerary for our time in L.A., double-checking some of the specifics about the locations and data we had pulled as we finished our food. Once everything had been cleared out of our way Alice pulled the shade on the window and reclined her seat to try and sleep for the rest of the flight. Jasper was meeting us in L.A., so I had a feeling she was trying to get some rest now because it would be unlikely for her get any tonight…sleep, that is. It was pretty much a given that she would be getting _some_ tonight.

_Lucky…_

_Horny much? You're worse than a 13-year-old boy!_

I pulled out my iPhone and put on a playlist from one of the mixed CDs Edward had made me, then opened my 'Bliss' folder in my photos and let the slide show of Edward and I dance across the small screen. Sitting in my cramped airline seat, miles above land, I felt so far away from Edward that all I could think about was having him next to me. Notes, songs, pictures, and telephone calls were all great, but they could never compare to actually being with him. It wasn't just the physical aspect that I missed either, though in all honesty that part was fantastic, it was also just being in his presence. All the years we were apart I always knew something was missing, and I'd tried to push the thoughts away, but now having Edward in my life, right where he belonged, there was no denying that _he_ was my missing piece. He was able to make me feel at ease in situations; he helped to balance me out. He always seemed to make up for my shortcomings, and filled in the spaces where I was lacking. I thought of one of the songs he'd put on the CD and scrolled through my playlist to find it.

As the first notes of the piano played through my headphones, I felt the deep ache start to set in. I missed Edward so much it physically _hurt_ at times. The usual longing I felt when I was away from him, coupled with the way I'd acted last time we were together, made it so I couldn't think of a time when I'd wanted to see Edward more. By the time "_When you need directions then I'll be the guide," _sang in my ears, tears were threatening to spill over. That was exactly what I needed…a guide.

I thought back to the conversation Alice and I had the day before, while we were preparing for this last leg of visits to potential cities. We only had L.A. and Seattle left to see, and on our five-city list we'd only marked off one: _Miami_. Neither one of us had wanted to talk about it; it was the pink elephant in the room that we kept pretending was part of the décor.

Alice had left the final decision for our new location up to me. Of course, we would discuss everything, but she seemed to think that since I dealt with the "business bullshit" — as she liked to call it — that I would make the best choice for the company. That was the problem; I knew the best choice was not going to be Chicago. I was already about 90 percent sure before we'd even gotten there, but after meeting with our realtor and visiting some of the other similar boutiques in the area, I knew in my head it was a definite _no_. My heart hadn't seemed quite ready to accept that, so I'd just continued to leave it on my list.

The decision was going to affect so many people - not just me. Edward had made it very clear that he was willing to relocate wherever it was we decided to open up shop, but of course I didn't want him giving up his job for me. Alice and Jasper were pretty flexible about location, since his job afforded him the ability to work anywhere, but I also wanted to make sure that I was being fair to Alice at the same time. She was the designer. She worked hard to create beautiful unique clothing, and I wanted to make sure that we would be somewhere that would gain her the recognition she deserved. Not to mention the fact that it was _her_ money that had started the company in the first place, so at the very least I owed it to her to choose the most profitable location. When I finally had crossed Chicago off the list with my red pen, my stomach lurched and I felt the harsh sting of tears at my eyes, but I made sure not to show how upset I was to Alice. She had the kindest heart, and if I'd shown her even a peek of how upset I was she would have packed us up and moved us to Chicago in a heartbeat, even if it meant only tweens who listened to Miley Cyrus would be the ones buying her clothes at a quarter of the usual price.

I reached into my bag, looking for the Toblerone bar I'd stashed in there, and felt a slight tug at my wrist. I looked down at the bracelet Edward had given me and smiled. I had come to love the feeling of the anchor charm getting stuck on everything. To some it might have been an annoyance, it getting caught on things every day, but for me it was just another daily reminder of how amazing Edward was.

I gave up on my hunt for chocolate, and brought my wrist up to examine the bracelet for the millionth time. Every single time I looked at it, I scolded myself for the ridiculous freak out on Valentine's Day. It made me so upset to think that I hurt Edward, when he was only doing _yet another_ amazingly sweet thing for me.

How I could I have ever thought he was proposing to me then and there? The explanation was still beyond me. Edward was the man who flew down to Miami to surprise me for the fashion show, rented out a bowling alley so we could have a proper high school date, and flew me away to Vegas for New Years. He was not a man who would be so cliché as to propose on Valentine's Day, and certainly not like that.

_No, not my Edward, he always has to make sure that every little detail is planned out. Just one more thing I love about him…once a nerd, always a nerd._

I must have dozed off, because the next thing I knew, Alice was rubbing my arm trying to wake me up.

"Hey Sleeping Beauty, I have a feeling you were dreaming about Prince Phillip."

"And why is that?" I asked, trying to gather all of my stuff together as we made our final descent into LAX.

"Ohhh, I don't know maybe the _'uhh Edward, more'_ you were moaning in your sleep. I assume you were waiting for him to wake you with a kiss..._in your pants_."

I felt the heat begin to burn my cheeks as I looked around the plane to see if any of the other passengers were looking at me like some crazy oversexed whore.

"Oh my god Bella, don't get all spazzy and freak out on me. Nobody could have heard you but me. Did you bring your kitty cuddler with you?"

"Shhh, please not another word! Of course I didn't bring that with me. You know my luck, they would choose my bag for an inspection and the thing would be buzzing away. They'd probably think it was a bomb or something."

"Well, you certainly seemed to have some very specific ideas of what you wanted in that dream of yours. Maybe you could call Mr. FourEyes-Fuckstick and do a little reenactment over the phone. I mean it's almost three weeks till you will see him for St. Paddy's day so I suggest you rectify that situation quickly…maybe multiple times."

"Seriously, you know I love you, right? Please, I am _begging_ you to shut that little mouth of yours. You remember what happened last time Edward and I tried to do a little 'reach out and touch someone' over the phone? It was an EPIC FAIL."

"OK, I promise to drop it. I just don't want Bad-Mood-Bella to rear her bitchy head again. A happy mood starts with a happy Heynow."

Alice had pulled her makeup case out and was touching up her already flawless face. I could see the positively radiant smile that graced her lips, and I knew she was counting down the minutes until she would see Jasper.

_Tick-Tock Tick-Tock. You have to count down the WEEKS!_

We were off the plane and through the terminal in record time. Alice amazed me with the speed at which she could maneuver a crowded airport, with luggage and in stilettos.

Her high pitch squeal alerted me that Jasper was near before I actually saw him. I heard the clicking of her heels, followed by a string of repeated 'I missed you' and 'I love you'. Alice had jumped up into his arms, and had her entire body wrapped around him, not even minding that she was in a skirt. I felt like an intruder on their moment, so I walked over to a bench to text Edward. He was always so cute about wanting me to let him know I had made it safely.

"Bella Swan, stop trying to hide from me and give me a hug," I heard Jasper bellow out.

"It's only been a week since you saw me last. I'm surprised you aren't sick of me already," I laughed making my way over to Jasper's open arms.

"Well believe it or not I missed you too. Though, I don't think nearly as much as my younger, less handsome brother does."

Jasper's words cut right through me, and for what seemed like the hundredth time today I found myself on the verge of tears. Jasper must have felt my body stiffen slightly, and pulled back out of the hug.

"Fuck. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"It's okay. It's nice to know he hasn't gotten sick of me yet either," I laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

"Jazz wants to take us out for lunch before we go to the hotel. He already has his rental car so we can just go to baggage claim and get out of here," Alice said as she leaned her head against Jasper's chest.

"You know guys, I'm really tired. I think I'm just going to head straight to the hotel and take a nap. Since we just gained three hours, what better way to spend them than sleeping?"

"You sure, Bells?" Alice asked, here eyes full of concern.

"Absolutely."

After we collected all of our bags, Jasper put them on a cart and refused to let us lift a finger. He wouldn't even let me get my own cab.

_Esme sure knows how to raise a gentleman. _

Once I had checked in, and finally made it into my room, I collapsed on the large king sized bed, and wallowed around in the sheets... and my jealousy. Don't get me wrong, I couldn't be happier for Alice and Jasper and their fucking adorableness that almost made me ill, but I wasn't able to handle it when the next time I'd see Edward seemed so far away. It was kind of like being on a diet, and going into your favorite bakery just to look around. There was no need to put myself through that torture, so I opted to not be around it.

_Yeah, well you're going to have to wait another three weeks before you get to go to the bakery and eat some canolli. _

I grabbed my phone and saw that Edward still hadn't texted me back yet. I decided I could use the down time to work through some of the emails that had been piling up, and noticed a new one from Edward. I looked at the subject line and my throat felt tight.

_**Subject: I wish you could put your ear up to my heart**_

I tapped the screen and opened the email.

…_**..And hear how much I love you**_

_**I still dream of December**_

_**Dancing together with rings on our fingers**_

_**And the two shall become**_

_**I'm sitting here in a meeting and I just got your text. I want to tell them all to shut the hell up so I can leave this meeting and call you, but they seem to frown upon that behavior at work.**_

_**So, instead, I give you lyrics to the song that has been in my head all day, making me think of you. They may not be my words, but every single one is true. **_

_**Should be out of my meeting around 3:00pm or so.**_

_**I miss you. Those words look lame after I wrote them, it's more than miss. Maybe we should think up a new word for it.**_

_**I love you, **_

_**E XOXOXO**_

I tossed my phone on the bed and molded my body in a tight ball. Why did this have to be so fucking hard?

_It doesn't HAVE to be so hard. If you'd get out of your head for two minutes you would see that._

I kept thinking about the way Alice had just flung herself on Jasper today, without a care in the world. They made it work so well. Alice had been freaked out about everything going on and she didn't even hesitate to call Jasper and ask him to meet her here. Just like that he'd rearranged some meetings, and was there waiting for her when she got off the plane. All she had to do was ask.

I glanced over at the clock, and saw that it was a little past 3 p.m. in Chicago, and I figured there was a good possibility that Edward might be out of his meeting. Without thinking about it for another second, I grabbed my phone and dialed Edward's cell.

By the third ring my finger hovered over the end call button.

_Just suck it up! You miss him and you want him out here with you. Put on your big girl panties and FUCKING ASK HIM! It's the least you could do after your Valentine's Day freak out!_

"Hello Beautiful."

"I know this is totally out of the blue, but I was wondering if you might be able to make it out to L.A. while I'm here. This is such a big decision and it's not just my future riding on the choice that's made. Not to mention I still feel awful for how I acted during our last visit. I just really miss you babe, and as stupid as it may sound, when I'm with you everything seems a little easier to handle," I blurted without pausing to breathe, before I could lose the nerve to ask him.

There was a long pause on the other end of the phone while I heard papers being shuffled around, then I realized I had never even said hello.

"Oh, hi by the way."

"Hold on a second I'm just checking my planner," I heard Edward laugh on the other end of the phone.

"Geez, you could have told a girl that first. I was sweating bullets over here."

"You're absolutely crazy sometimes Bella. I think it's already been committed to record that I want to spend as much time as humanly possible with you. When exactly are you guys leaving?"

"We're going to be here until Friday. We figured it would be easier just to go straight to Seattle from here."

"Shit," I heard him hiss under his breath.

"What's wrong?"

"I have Thursday scheduled full of interviews for potential candidates to help us promote our new prosthetic for children."

"No, that's fine. I should have known it would be impossible on this short of notice. It was stupid," I said trying to keep the disappointment out of my voice.

"Bella, listen to me, it is not stupid to want me there. If that was the case then I am one of the dumbest people in the world because I want you with me all the time. How about this, I can leave Friday afternoon and meet you up in Seattle?"

"You'd do that for me?"

"No, I'm doing it for me. I'm actually quite selfish and I just want to see you. This works out perfectly too, because mom had called me yesterday and told me Rose had her baby last week. I guess we'll get to meet her when we get into town."

"Ok we better change the subject, or I won't be able to wait the three days until we are in Seattle!"

"Are you and Alice going out tonight?"

"No, her and Jasper might, but we have an early appointment with our realtor here so I want to make sure I actually get some sleep."

"Well I would suggest you get plenty of rest the next couple of days, because I can't guarantee how much of your time in Seattle you'll actually get to sleep, even if you are in a bed."

Just like that Edward went from sweet and adorable, to confident and sexy.

"You know Edward, those activities don't have to take place just in bed."

"Bella," his voice strained, "I have a meeting in ten minutes, are you trying to kill me?"

"I'm sorry. How can I make it up to you?"

"Well, I'm sure I can think up something you could do for me over the next few days. Baby, I'm sorry, I have to go. I have another meeting. "

"Don't be sorry, I'm on cloud nine, I get to see you in three days instead of three weeks!"

"I love you, and can't wait to see you."

"I love you too Edward. I'll talk to you later."

I hung up the phone and jumped off the bed feeling lighter and happier than I had in days. When I started to unpack I remembered something I'd wanted to tell Edward and sent him a quick text.

_**PS- Unfinished is one of my favorite Mineral songs. Soon I will hear your heart. **_

_**ILY, B XOXO**_

_**That right there is reason 1,232,645 why I love you. XOXO, E**_

I felt so much better, that when Alice, Jasper, and I went to dinner, I actually sort of found their cuddling and cutesy talk to be sweet.

* * *

"Bella, you have to wait. I think that old lady in the wheelchair needs to get off the plane before we do," Alice said, while trying to make me sit back down in my seat. As soon as we landed in Seattle I had turned my phone back on to find a text from Edward saying he was already at the airport and was waiting out by our terminal.

My fingers twitched, and my lips felt like they were buzzing. It was like my body could already sense that Edward was just past a few doors and hallways. The cabin finally started to clear out, and I grabbed my carry on and made a beeline for the door.

As I walked down the gangway I tried to strain my head above the line in front of me, and I finally saw it; a shock of disheveled bronze hair, the jade eyes, the long angular nose, strong square jaw, and those lips. Dear god, those lips, soft, full, and perfect.

It took every ounce of restraint I had not to knock the rest of the passengers out of my way to get to Edward. He hadn't seen me yet, but I could see him searching the people exiting. From the set of his jaw you could see he was in deep concentration. Then, his eyes met mine and his entire face lit up, mirroring my goofy smile.

Once I was past the last door, Edward grabbed me in his arms, holding me close to his body. I dropped my bags at my sides and wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him down to my face.

"I missed you," I breathed against his soft lips, before pressing my mouth to his and kissing him firmly. His hands tangled in my hair and I knew this kiss was quickly moving past the PG line and going straight to R. I would like to say that in that moment I cared, but I didn't.

We only broke apart when we heard Jasper let out a low whistle behind us. I moved my mouth from Edward's, but buried my face in my chest. I took in a long deep breath of him, not even minding if he caught me smelling him. I missed his scent, his touch, and every single thing about him. I would have been content curling up right there, up against Edward's chest in the middle of the airport, for the rest of my life.

"You know you have a hotel room with a bed that you can go to right?"

"Well, if memory serves me correctly Bella doesn't _always _need a bed for such things," he quipped as he threw me a sideways glance.

"Edward," I squealed as I playfully smacked his arm. My retaliation only received more laughter from the group.

"Well, in that case, I have so many things I need to tell you about Bella then," Alice said turning and heading to the baggage claim.

_Oh shit….. _

I watched as Edward piled everyone's bags onto a cart, the soft fabric of his gray pants pulled against his ass as he bent over. He turned back around, making sure he'd gotten everything, and I was able to fully appreciate the rest of his outfit. He had a snug fitting gray and black striped button-up peepaw sweater. Underneath the v-neck of the sweater he was wearing a white polo, and the cherry on top were his black vans. He looked so amazing in that outfit that I couldn't help but do a quick glance around to see if there was a photo booth I could pull him in to.

_Damn it Poindexter, you don't play fair._

Being prepared as always, Edward had already picked up the rental car and had it waiting for us in the lot. After the guys had arranged all of the luggage into the trunk, with only minimal grumbling, we headed to the Alexis Hotel over by the Waterfront.

Edward grabbed my hand and pulled it over the center console, rubbing soft slow circles on my palm with his thumb. The slightest touch from him was enough to make me feel woozy. I watched as he drove through the crowded streets of Seattle, his brow furrowed slightly as he tried to read the street sign and his strong jaw clenched.

I cursed the piece of hard plastic between the two of us and scooted as close to him as I could leaning my head against his shoulder. He released my hand and moved his fingers up to stroke my hair as I nuzzled into the space between his broad shoulders and chin, planting small little kisses on his neck.

"He guys, I really don't want to die in the back of a rental car, so if we could try and keep Edward's hands at 10 and 2, and save the make out session until we're not in a moving vehicle that would be just super."

"You're one to talk," I said my eyes narrowing at Alice.

"No, Bella. I think you're the one to talk. I happen to remember quite a bit of talking you did recently. Well, maybe it wasn't all talking…more like moaning and pleading. Though, I do think the words 'Edward' and 'More' were said, but I can't be sure?"

I felt the warmth on my cheeks as Alice told the entire car about my sex dreams that starred the one and only Edward Cullen. I went to pull myself away from Edward, feeling like a perv now, but he moved his hand from my hair and grabbed my shoulders in his steel grip holding me against him.

"Don't you dare move," he said his voice barely above a whisper. I peeked up at him to try and read his face, and I was met with dark eyes. He mumbled something under his breath as he inhaled long and slow, and moved his hand back to my hair.

After we had checked in, and I had confirmed with the clerk three times that our two rooms did not share a wall, we made our way to the elevator to drop off our luggage before dinner.

"Alright you two, I don't give a happy fuck how horny you are, you're not allowed to take off your clothes. In your room, drop off your shit, then we go to dinner. I am starving so we don't have time for Bella to take a ride on your disco stick," Alice informed us looking pointedly at Edward as she finished.

I turned around to the elderly woman who was sharing the elevator, and saw that she had a shocked and horrified expression on her face.

"You have to pardon her, she's off of her meds," I smiled sweetly.

Our rooms were across the hall from one another, still a little closer than I would have liked, but it was better than L.A. where I had had to share a wall with those two. I think I may have been scarred for life. I heard the words 'General' and 'Yeehaw' far more than anybody ever should.

"Five minutes," Alice warned as we entered our room.

I turned my head around to roll my eyes at her, but was quickly pulled through the threshold of the door by Edward's large strong hands. He closed the door, pushing my back up against it, and pressed his body up into mine. He was still gripping my wrists, and he held them down by my side. I looked up into his wild eyes as he raked them over my body.

I felt his hot breath against my cheek as he moved he mouth over to my ear, barely grazing my lobe with his lips.

"Care to share these dreams you've been having with me Bella," he asked pressing his body harder against me. My breathing hitched and I was unable to find words. His tongue licked the space directly below my ear before his mouth closed around my earlobe, sucking softly. My eyes fluttered shut and my knees shook with every movement of his mouth. Edward steadied my body by wrapping his arm around my waist and moving his long leg in between my thighs. He worked his mouth lower, licking and kissing at my collar bone. He released one of my wrists and pulled down the collar of my shirt exposing the very top of my cleavage. His long slender fingers dipped even further below the fabric caressing the swells of my breasts as his mouth sucked at the skin. He placed his lips right between my breasts and licked straight up to my neck.

I gasped for air as he continued the cycle of ear, collarbone, breasts, and neck. My hips started sliding up and down the toned thigh he was pressing harder and harder between my legs. My hands moved down his back, clawing at the soft material of his sweater as I forced him closer to me. His hand freed the fabric of my shirt, and ghosted across my breast, my ribs, then stopped right below my navel. The palm of his hand pressed harder against my abdomen as his long fingers began to inch their way lower and lower. I could feel myself twitching in anticipation of his touch.

"I gave you guys seven minutes, that's enough time for high schoolers to make it to heaven so get your asses out here," Alice banged against the door while the sounds of Jaspers laugh filtered in.

_I know someone else who wanted to get banged against the door...ME!_

My head fell against Edward's chest as I groaned in frustration. He held me against the door as I tried to push off, locking his eyes with mine for a moment before releasing his body from mine.

I threw the door open to find Jasper leaning up against the wall with a very smug look on his face.

"Why, Edward, it looks like your suitcase is still packed. That's usually the first thing you do when you get to a hotel. I wonder what you guys were doing, instead."

"Shut the fuck up," Edward snapped giving Jasper a warning look.

We made our way to the sushi restaurant the concierge suggested, which was just down the block. As soon as we were seated, Alice ordered apple sake for the table while we looked over our menus. Edward placed his hand at the nape of my neck under my hair, and made lazy patterns on my skin. I shifted in my seat at his touch. He caught my eye and I noticed he had a slight smirk on his lips.

By the time our sushi arrived, we'd already shared three bottles of sake and Edward's hand had moved from my neck, down to my thigh. I watched as his fingers curled around the chopsticks picking up the sushi and moving it to his mouth. All I could think about was the way he had used those very same fingers on me.

"Bella, would you like to try some of mine?"

"Sure," I answered leaning over towards Edward's plate to pick up a piece of his roll.

"Uh-uh," he chided blocking me with his chopsticks, "you aren't supposed to take food off of people's plates."

He slowly captured the rice covered roll with the wooden sticks and dipped it into his soy sauce. I leaned forward opening my mouth slightly never taking my eyes off of his. He placed the food in my mouth and watched my lips as I licked away a bit of the soy sauce that had landed there. His eyes widened, so I decided to make sure I had removed all of the salty liquid and licked my lips one more time….a bit slower.

I watched Edward's adams apple bob as he swallowed hard before turning back to his plate and cursing softly. I looked across the table at Alice, who was watching the entire interaction with extremely amused eyes.

Edward returned his hand to my thigh as we finished eating. He started rubbing his palm along my outer thigh first, before moving to the top of my thigh, stroking from my knee then all the way back up. I shifted my weight in my seat trying to relieve just the tiniest bit of pressure I was feeling. Without missing a beat Edward's fingers shifted and his hand moved to my inner thigh. He took the same course as before long slow movements to my knee and then back up, but this time he went even higher. The moment his pinkie made contact between my thighs I jumped.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked his face a mask of concern.

"I hit my knee on the table."

"Aww, are you ok? Do you need me to kiss it and make it better?" He teased while never stilling his hand.

"I'm fine," I squeaked out.

His hand moved to my other thigh, his fingers gripping the outside of my leg while he left his thumb on the inside. He rubbed my thigh up and down, lightly touching between my legs each time. My body had gravitated towards him on its own, and our legs were pressed together. He held his hand still and began stroking his thumb up and down pressing harder with each pass.

"Okay. I'm tired, I think I'm ready to go back to the hotel," I said standing up.

The rest of the table looked up at me as I stood there shifting my weight from foot to foot. Edward rose from the table placing cash down for our meal and helped me into my coat.

"You two get lots of rest…you both seem like you really need it." Alice giggled.

"I'll meet you downstairs in the Library Bistro for breakfast at 9 and the realtor will be here at 10 to pick us up. Don't forget we're going over to Rose and Emmett's for dinner so we can see their new baby girl." I said as leaned down and kissed Alice and hugged Jasper good night.

We made it out into the cold February air, Edward holding me close against him to keep me warm. There were other ways I wanted him to warm me up and it was taking entirely too long.

"Race ya," I took off towards the hotel.

We ran down the sidewalk laughing like a couple of kids, Edward kept grabbing my hand trying to pull me behind him so he could win. We passed through the lobby trying to contain our giggles and catch our breath.

As the elevator doors closed Edward's mouth found mine. His tongue slid past my lips and I could taste the sweetness of the apple sake and sucked harder at his mouth.

I wasn't even sure how we got into the room. It was all a blur of kisses and groping. All of our clothes were quickly discarded, as today had been nothing but one long build up, and we were both ready.

Edward stalked towards me, and I was mesmerized by the long lean lines of his body. I watched the way his stomach rippled and my eyes moved down to his pelvis to the perfect V, which always drew my eyes even lower. The sight of him hard and ready made me dizzy. My hands wanted to touch him and my body begged to have him inside of me.

He grabbed me by my arms holding me in place as he worked his way from my shoulder down to my neck placing a trail of warm open mouthed kisses. He continued to my breast, and I arched my back to him offering myself up. He intentionally never touched my nipple and it was maddening. His kisses continued beneath my breast down my stomach and to my hips.

"Edward," I moaned lifting my hips up to him willing him to kiss me where I needed it most.

He placed his faced between my legs, and nuzzled himself against the skin causing me to yelp from the sensation.

"Tell me what exactly what it is that you want more of Bella," Edward instructed me from between my legs.

"You, Edward. I want you."

"Yes, but what do you want me to do? Say it, out loud." he ordered moving his mouth closer to my wetness. I could feel tiny vibrations from his words, and I was undone. He wanted me to tell him exactly what it was that I wanted, and I would. I would do anything for him.

"I want you to lick me right here," I moaned sliding a finger past my lips to give him thorough instructions.

"Like this?" He asked, spreading me slightly and licking slowly with his flat tongue.

"Exactly like that," I whispered, as my head fell back and my fingers twisted into his hair.

He continued to kiss and lick at the sensitive skin but never moving all the way to the top. I bucked my hips requesting more.

"No, not tonight Bella. You'll have to tell me or show me what it is that you want."

Without hesitation I moved my thumb up to the tiny bundle of nerves that were begging for his mouth and tongue. "Here. I need you to lick, suck, bite, and rub right here."

My new boldness was greeted by a deep growl from Edward as he moved higher, alternating between sucking and flicking his tongue against the skin. I could feel the warmth spreading in my stomach and the tightening begin to start, but I still needed more.

"Your fingers, inside of me," I begged.

Effortlessly, Edward slid a long finger inside of me, pumping in and out keeping time with the rhythm of his tongue. I thrust my hips against him deepening his movements.

"Another." I demanded, my hands fisted deeper in his hair at the feeling of another finger working in me. He sucked at me and then bit gently as he curled his fingers pressing into my hidden spot. I felt the tightening in my stomach break free, and the warmth spread from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.

"You are breathtaking when you come, Bella," he said between kisses to my thigh. I looked down into Edward's eyes and cupped his cheek in my hand.

"I know what else I want," I whispered.

"Anything."

"Sit on the couch Edward."

He fluidly rose from his knees and kissed me softly, before crossing the room over to the large couch. He sat down on the middle of the couch and I noted how his magnificent erection glistened at the head. I wanted to touch him so badly that my feet moved over to him without my own knowledge.

I grabbed the base of him and stroked up slowly, reveling in the contrast of the smooth skin pulled over the steel below. He watched my hand slide up and down his shaft and his hands reached out to stroke my hips.

I pressed my thumb against the head with a little pressure making slow circles with the moisture there. His head fell back against the couch as a soft moan escaped his lips. I loved the way my hand slid against his wet skin and wanted more.

I put one foot on the couch next to Edward's knee opening my legs slightly. With my free hand I slid two fingers inside my wetness, as Edward whimpered at the sight of my hand inside of me. I pulled my slick fingers out and ran them all the way down his length and then began pumping my hand in long movements. I continued to grip him tighter and add more speed with each pass, while twisting my hand over his head each time causing Edward's entire body to shake.

"Baby, I am not going to be able to hold off much longer," he choked out.

"But Edward, I want more," I whispered against his ear, my breast brushing against his face as I bent over him. His tongue circled my nipple a number of times before sucking the hardened skin between his lips. He moved his hand from my hip up to my other breast, alternating between palming my entire breast in his large hand and pinching my nipples.

"I want to try something a little different tonight. Okay?" I asked, as I pulled my body away from him and gave him one hard squeeze before releasing him from my hand as well. He nodded quickly, and that was all the assurance I needed.

"I want you to stay very still. You cannot move until I tell you to. Do you understand?"

He nodded his head again, as he watched me climb up above him on the couch, straddling his legs. His eyes traveled up the length of my body, his eyes _so_ dark, and his lids heavy with lust.

I lowered myself to my knees, pressing against the outside of his. I grabbed him in my hand and slid him against back and forth against my warm wet flesh.

"FUCK," he moaned, and I could feel him twitch against my skin.

I held him at the base as I slowly sank down onto him, letting him fill me slowly and completely. Our moans filled the room as I settled against him fully. I sat there for a few moments letting my body adjust to his size and this particular position.

I grabbed his face in my hands stroking it with my thumbs. We stared into each other's eyes, both lost in the love and passion we felt for one another.

"I love you," I whispered against his lips.

"Always, Bella," he returned my declaration before I leaned forward kissing him.

As our lips met I raised my hips up off of him, and then pushed back down, my knees digging into the cushion from the force.

"Bella," he groaned into my mouth, as he diligently kept his hands by his side and did not move as I had instructed. I began to ride him faster, coming down hard against his lap each time. I had never had Edward inside of me from this angle and it seemed that he pressed deeper and deeper each time. The feeling was beginning to unravel me.

"Edward, I want you to fuck me," I whispered, feeling momentarily shocked at the brazenness of my words, but loving the instantaneous reaction I got from him.

His hands gripped at my hips immediately, his fingers stretched out across my skin. He began lifting me off of him and pulling me down as he thrust into me. Each time I came down, a moan escaped my lips.

"Harder."

Edward growled at me and slammed me down onto him with more force. His eyes watched as he entered me over and over again. I followed his gaze and watched our bodies becoming one, as close to one another as we could physically be. He quickened his pace, pumping into me harder and harder.

"God Edward, I'm about to come," I screamed out wrapping my arms around his neck. As soon as the words left my lips I felt myself falling over the edge, tightening around Edward, and pulling him down with me. He lifted me one final time before driving himself back in, and coming deep inside me.

We stayed connected, holding one another as our ragged breaths began to slow. I laid my head down against his chest, over his heart and listened to the low rhythmic beating under my ear.

"I can hear how much you love me," I whispered, reaching up and kissing him on the chin.

Edward shifted us to our sides, so that we were lying on the couch, with him spooned behind me. His arms completely wrapped around my body, holding me against him as he graced the back of my neck with feather light kisses.

I had never known how easy it was to just ask for what I wanted, but on that small hotel couch I realized that the people who love you _want_ to give you whatever it is that makes you happy.

All I had to do was ask Edward to come be with me, and here he was. He had taught me to tell him exactly what it was that I wanted, and he gave it to me so willingly. Pressed together holding him as close as I could, I continued to listen to his heart tell me how much he loved me, and I hoped that, deep down, he could feel how very much I loved him too.

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**AN: This chapter is brought to you by Mineral's ****Unfinished**** and hot guys in peepaw sweaters and Vans! Also, by Trin who worships Meg's and Katie's red pens!  
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	21. I'll Catch You

**A/N: We would like to give a massive thank you to everyone who participated in, or helped with the "I love 80's Music" NaughtyHeels Anonymous One Shot Contest in any way. It's been a success so far, and we had a huge number of entries! We were so thrilled to get each and every one!**

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**Quick Note: This is actually the second part of the last chapter so if it seems short that's why. Also, that's why we posted this in a week instead of going with our normal posting schedule. Next chapter will be posted in two weeks.**

**Stephenie owns Edward…We just make him talk like Mr. T…..just read it will make sense.  


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**Chapter 21 – I'll Catch You**

**(BPOV)**

"In point-two miles turn left onto Meadow Lane," Mr. T's voice commanded from the dash. Edward and Jasper dissolved into laughter for what could have easily been the twentieth time on our way to Emmett and Rose's.

"That hasn't gotten old for you guys yet?" I asked giving Alice the _'Is it just me or are you ready to strangle Mr. T by all of his gold jewelry?'_ eyes.

"No it could never get old. I am almost tempted to make a wrong turn just to see if he will say '_I pity the foo_' _who makes a wrong turn_'," Edward bellowed in the worst impersonation of Mr. T I had ever heard.

We were all wheezing, trying to catch our breath from the laughter, when we pulled into the circular driveway at Rose and Emmett's. After we had gotten ourselves together, Edward was at my side helping me out of the car and we made our way to the front door hand in hand.

"Well, it's about time you two finally pulled your heads out of your asses, it only took you ten years," Rosalie said matter-of-factly, while cradling a teeny blond haired angel against her shoulder.

"Hi," I whispered, trying to keep my voice low so as not to disturb her slumber.

"Come on in you guys. I already have some drinks and stuff out in the kitchen. Em is upstairs. He just put the twins to bed and is giving Owen a bath. Let me put Adeline down, she's been crying all day."

I watched as Rosalie walked up the stairs with ease, and couldn't help but think how much it would terrify me to go up or down stairs with a tiny baby, while she acted like it was nothing. Then again, her ass looked like a woman who had just come from the gym, not someone who had given birth just two weeks ago, so maybe I shouldn't have been surprised.

By the time we had all gotten a drink and were seated in the living room, Rose had returned and thrown her body down onto a chair in a heap. She must have felt the four pairs of sympathetic eyes on her and straightened up a bit.

"You two didn't defile the playhouse while I was gone did you," she asked giving Edward and me a sideways glance.

I buried my head in Edward's chest at the memory of them catching us dry humping like a couple of teenagers.

"No, Bella and I were on our best behavior, scouts honor," Edward said solemnly holding up three fingers.

"Good, I'm too tired to yell at anyone else tonight. Speaking of yelling at people, where the hell is Emmett?"

As if on cue, the sound of heavy footsteps, followed by lighter but faster ones, came from the hallway. Owen came bounding into the room trying to skid to a stop, but his footie pajamas caused him to keep sliding. Emmett followed behind him rolling his eyes at Rose.

"Don't roll your eyes at me. He's your son ten times over. I know what you were like as a boy, your mother has told me the stories. You told him they were coming over didn't you? You know how he gets when we have women in the house."

Before we could ask what she meant, Owen put on a true display for us.

"So, you couldn't stay away from the O-Man could you?" the mess of curly hair and footie pajamas asked as he sauntered up to Alice. "It's okay, nobody can."

"Nope, I couldn't stay away. I've missed you. Gimme a hug," Alice cooed extending her arms out to Owen. He wrapped his arms around her neck in a tight death grip and wouldn't let go until she gently released his arms.

"You like my PJ's?" Owen asked while taking the Mr. Universe stance to show them off.

"Yes! Very nice and they look warm too," I answered, nodding my head enthusiastically.

"Robots," he said pointing to his himself with his thumbs in a very 'This Guy' sort of way.

"Cool," the guys said in unison, acting as if it was the best thing they had every seen in their life.

"Yeah, I know you're jealous. Whatev…I'm just that cool."

Edward and Jasper were dumbstruck from just having been schooled by a six year old, and Alice and I tried to squelch our giggle fit.

"OK mister, up to bed," Emmett boomed in an authoritative voice while he tried to hide his smile.

"Awww come on Pops, I'm trying to get something going here with the ladies."

"_Now!_" Rose ordered with a shocked look on her face.

"Fine. Mom, good night and I love you. Ladies, you know where to find me," he said pointing towards the stairs.

"Seriously, we're going to have to deadbolt his door from the outside and put bars on the windows once adolescence hits. That boy is going to be the death of me," Rose laughed shaking her head as Emmett ushered Owen up the stairs.

By the time Emmett made it back to the living room, Rose had gone through the entire birthing process, and the guys looked like they were ready to shit their pants.

"Oh, I'd know that look anywhere. Is Rose talking about the miracle of life?"

Edward and Jasper both silently nodded their heads, still looking a bit shell-shocked.

"How about we let the ladies talk about vajay-jays and diapers, while I show you out to my man cave. Beer and Rock Band await you."

"I've got the bass," Edward screamed pushing Jasper back down on the couch before he could stand up fully.

"Yeah, you play the bass, that's what all pussies play," Jasper called out behind him as he hauled himself back off the couch.

_MMMMMMM Edward playing bass, those forearms flexing, those long fingers moving across the guitar. UNF. Maybe I should see if he would rather visit my Woman Cave._

After we had all refilled our drinks, Rose began asking us questions about our meeting with the realtor that day. We told her about all of the surprising areas in the city starting to get some recognition in the fashion industry, and recounted all of the spaces we visited, along with some opened boutiques we'd seen to assess what kind of traffic they got in the middle of the day.

"Did you guys look in the Ballard area? I think with your line's retro feel it would be a good match."

"No, she didn't even show it to us. I'm texting her now to see if she can send us some listings over in that area. Thanks Rose," Alice said as her fingers moved at lighting speed sending off the text.

"So, are you guys going to give me the dirt or am I going to have to beg? I'm a married woman with four kids, can't you throw me a bone?"

"Well, I think you should ask Bella if it's dirt you're looking for. She and Edward ran out of dinner last night because they couldn't even keep their hands off of each other."

"Thanks Alice, you always come through in my time of need," I jabbed as she made kissy faces at me.

"Come on, tell me. I have been living under a rock the past couple of months between the kids and pregnancy."

"We're in love," I said with a smile.

"I didn't say state the obvious Bella. You'd have to be blind to not know the two of you are head over heels for each other, but I have to admit it's nice to hear you say it. I want to know how it's going, what are you plans?"

"We try and see each other as much as we possibly can. I actually asked Edward to come to LA but he wasn't able to. This was kind of a spur of the moment thing for him to join me in Seattle. I pretty much called begging him to come out here because I missed him. It's just all of this being apart stuff that makes it so hard. He's talked about moving to wherever we end up opening, but the thought of him giving up his career doesn't sit well with me. Though, at the same time I can't be without him anymore. I know this sounds lame, but I'm scared. I don't want either of us to end up resenting the other. I'm just trying look at our situation from every angle and make the best decision possible for both of us."

"Ok, enough of the sad shit, gimme juicy details. I remember last time you confirmed my suspicion that the hands and feet matched the rest of him, but is there anything else you care to share? Do you do math problems to get him turned on, does he leave you sweet little love notes written in binary code?"

"I can tell you one thing," Alice piped in, leaning forward on the couch in a conspiratorial fashion. "Bella dressed up like Princess Leia for him."

"How the fuck did you know that I actually wore that, Alice?" I asked wondering if Edward had told Jasper.

"Remember when you got back to Forks I asked if you'd used all of the gifts I'd sent with you guys to Vegas and you said you hadn't? I decided to get the unused portion - there's no reason to let a good set of handcuffs go to waste, know what I mean? So anyway, the Leia slave outfit was all balled up in your suitcase and I had to move it to get to the goods, so when I did I noticed one side of the skirt was almost torn off the belt. I figured you had to have worn it."

"I'm sorry, go back. 'Skirt was torn off the belt'? Please explain to the class how that happened Bella."

"Umm…it must have gotten caught on something," I lied, knowing that if I said I hadn't worn it they would push even harder for information.

"You mean when you were taking it off?" Alice asked wiggling her eyebrows at me.

"No, actually he told me to keep it on." My confession was met with whistles and catcalls.

"But if you left it on, why was the tear in the back of the skirt?" Alice asked and I could see the wheels turning in her head.

"That's were he was grabbing it," I replied sheepishly.

"Who knew Mr. Nerdy could be so naughty?" Rose mused.

A high pitched cry from the baby monitor brought Rose right back into mommy-mode, and she was on her feet and up the stairs before Adeline had let out a full cry. She quickly returned with the tiny body cradled in her arms, shushing gently in her ear trying to quiet her cries.

Rose quickly had Adeline nursing, discretely covered under a little polka dotted blanket, and the room quieted again. By the time she was done she had a content sleeping baby in her arms.

"Bella, would you like to hold her?"

"Are you sure?"

Rose answered me by placing Adeline in my arms very gently so not to wake her. I held her tiny body up against mine, reveling in the lavender scent of her blond hair. I stroked the fingers of her little hand, trying to imagine what she would be like when she grew up.

The guys came back in from the garage, all of them talking at a level that awarded them a death stare from Rose. Edward came directly to the chair I was sitting in and stared down at the sweet little angel in my arms.

"Rose, can I hold her?"

"Did you wash your hands Edward?"

"Yes," he answered displaying his palms to her.

Rose nodded her approval as I started to shift towards Edward so he could lift Adeline out of my arms.

"Wait, it's easier this way," he whispered as he lifted her fragile little body from me. His large hand cradled her head the entire time, and he looked at ease as she settled into his arms, a wide smile across his face.

I sat there watching Edward as he slipped his finger into her tiny fist, coaxing her to grab on. He swayed from side-to-side keeping her lulled to sleep as he hummed softly.

It was in that moment that I no longer had a vision of just a little bronze-haired green eyed boy. Now I could see the entire picture. Edward was there too.

The rest of the night we all took turns holding Adeline as we ate dinner and talked in hushed voices. Emmett and Rose talked about the business and I was so amazed that she could juggle four kids, company business, and a husband, and yet still seem so put together and sure of herself.

By 9:00pm Rose could barley keep her eyes open, since she'd been up with Adeline the entire night before. After finally convincing her that she needed her rest, Rose agreed to let us leave early.

Not even an hour later, Edward and I were back in the hotel room, after a quick detour to a gas station for my requested snuggle time food of Dr. Pepper and Reese's cups. Edward had already said he needed to check some e-mails and do a few other things for work, so I decided to take a quick shower while he got caught up for the evening. I grabbed my pajamas out of the suitcase and took a nice shower, wishing he was in there with me. I finished getting ready for bed as quickly as I could, and made my way back into the bedroom.

"Seriously? We say we're going to snuggle and watch TV tonight, and you wear _that_. Might as well put a steak in front of a lion." Edward said as he looked up from his computer, eyeing me from head to toe.

"This shirt? I usually wear it to bed at night when you're not with me," I said pulling at the hem of the t-shirt I'd swiped from Edward back at Halloween. It was easily my favorite thing to wear.

"Well, I'm here with you now," He spoke softly and walked towards me.

"I know, but I figured if I wore this and snuggled all over you tonight then it would smell like you too. As someone in the fashion industry, I feel as if I can say without a doubt that you could be a millionaire if you bottled up that delicious scent of yours," I purred into his neck as I shamelessly drank him in. Edward reached down and lifted my chin up and kissed me softly on my lips, as my hands hugged him tighter to my body.

"Ok, I am going to take a quick shower, I expect you to have prepared the rations and entertainment upon my return," Edward laughed against my neck before placing one more soft wet kiss there, leaving me a little dazed.

"Do you mind if I use your computer to look at some of the listings the realtor was supposed to send us about another area here?"

"Of course I don't mind, you can just move all of my paperwork out of the way. The desktop password is 'ec3poloveshellsbells'," he answered as he threw his glasses on the bed on the way to the bathroom.

_Seriously, is there anything this man does that isn't sweet? Are you sure you got clean enough in the last shower? Maybe you should wash, rinse, and repeat._

I started to get out of the office chair and join him for my repeat, but a picture of a small boy caught me eye and I reached over to pull it out. I was met with two large blue eyes, a mess of sandy brown hair, and a huge smile. I looked at the rest of the picture and realized that he didn't have any legs. There was a piece of yellow legal paper stapled to his picture with Edward's elegant script all over it.

_Name- Jason Clark_

_Age- 2 years_

_Summary- __Bilateral amputee due to Meningococcemia contracted at one year old. As a result of inflammation, the blood supply was completely cut off, and both legs had to be amputated. _

_Prosthetic- NO_

_Additional Info- Mother, Patricia, is a single–parent of Jason and older brother, Marcus. Has previously purchased one set of prostheses for Jason, but has not been able to afford new ones since he outgrew the last._

I flipped the picture of Jason back over and looked at his sweet face again. I couldn't even fathom having been through all of that in just two short years. I thought about how hard it must be to learn to walk, much less with prostheses, and now since he'd been without them it was almost like he would have to relearn how to do it if, or when, he ever received another set. I felt tears welling up and I couldn't hold them back. I looked through the stack of stories all similar to Jason's; all of the children were without prosthetics, and all of them under the age of ten.

I had been so engrossed in the stack of papers on the desk, that I hadn't even heard Edward come out of the bathroom.

"They're amazing aren't they?" He asked looking over my shoulder causing me to jump a little. "All of them were either born without or lost an extremity before the age of five. Since the children are growing, and the prosthetic parts do not grow with the child, they constantly have to be replaced. Not to mention the additional therapy it requires, it usually takes longer to train young children to use the prostheses. It costs an average of $10,000 to $15,000 for each one. It's no wonder why so many families can't afford them, even with insurance."

"What do they do?" I asked sniffling and wiped the palm of hand against my cheek to remove the fresh tears.

"Well, a lot of times they go without for long periods of time. It makes it even harder on the children because they have to learn to do everything over again, and the muscles needed to properly use the prosthetic begin to atrophy at times so it can be a very difficult process," Edward spoke quietly as he stroked my hair in an effort to calm me.

"Is this what you were doing last Thursday when you said you were interviewing candidates for a new campaign?"

"Yes, actually it's for a non-profit company that wants to work hand in hand with ours to help provide prosthesis for children who could otherwise not afford them. God, Bella, I have to tell you I thought it was rewarding being a part of a company that researched and made prostheses, but it doesn't even compare to this. When they told me about the project I didn't even know what to expect since most of my marketing had been done towards the medical field, it really hadn't been based around the human aspect of it more the numbers and data. Getting out there and meeting those families…it was just amazing to know that I might be able to help them in some way."

I looked at Edward's face as he spoke with such passion and desire, and my heart began to swell with pride. Edward _gave_ in everything he did. He gave his love so freely to me and asked for so little in return. Even in the profession he had chosen, he was able to help people. His heart seemed to know no bounds. I knew I would have to revisit these thoughts later, but for the moment I just wanted to be here with Edward and enjoy the next few hours we had before yet another goodbye.

"You, Edward Cullen, never ceases to amaze me." I whispered as I captured his hands in mine, bringing them up to my lips. I kissed at the soft skin of his hands and palms before I pulled him down to meet my lips. He settled between my legs on his knees stroking my bare thighs as we kissed tenderly. I loved that there was always so much passion between us, but there was also a tenderness that even in the most heated moments came through to one another.

"There are 23 flavors and some snuggle time that is calling my name, would you care to join me?" I asked, kissing his forehead.

"Could it really be considered snuggle time if all this wasn't there?" He asked stepping away with his arms out to show off exactly what 'all this' was.

"Nope, there is no way in hell it could be," I squealed and launched myself on the bed with Edward right behind me.

"That's what I thought," he said resting back against the headboard and pulling me to rest on his chest or, as he liked to refer to it, his "Bella Bed".

We flipped through the channels until we found an episode of Cheaters. I begged Edward to leave it there because, I mean really, who doesn't love a good train wreck now and again. He agreed only if he could turn the sound down and make up their conversation during the big confrontations scenes. We had gotten lucky; it was the episode where the woman burns all of her husband's clothes outside. We laughed so hard my sides were hurting and I was gasping for air. I guess that's a true sign of love; when the person you're with can leave you gasping for air when they make love to you, or when you just sit and watch TV together.

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After an exhausting trip home to Miami, I made Alice stop by the store on the way home from the airport so I could pick up a pint of Ben and Jerry's, since I was feeling especially wallow-y. I chose the Coffee Heath Bar Crunch for myself and grabbed the Karmel Sutra for Alice, since it was her favorite.

_As if she could like any other flavor? She probably called Ben and Jerry personally and asked them to make it for her._

While we sat on the couch eating ice cream and sharing our 'fucked-up foul moods' as Alice like to call them , we talked a little more about L.A., New York, and Seattle. After some preliminary numbers we had started to think that L.A wasn't going to be the right fit for us, but we'd have to look at all the data when our heads weren't filled with all the goodbye grouchies we got every time we had to leave our guys.

"So did you tell Edward that Chicago was definitely off the table?"

I looked down into my ice cream keeping my eyes away from Alice's face, not wanting to admit what a coward I'd been.

"Bella," she urged poking at me with her perfectly painted red toe.

"No, I meant to, I swear I did. It just never felt like the right time. I felt bad because I had asked him to come out there and see me; I didn't want to give him shitty news too. I am just so tired of having to disappoint him all the time. It hurts like hell to do that to him, all I want is to be with him and here I have to tell him about yet another obstacle."

"I understand sweetie, really I do," Alice said soothingly leaning over to me and rubbing my arm, "but you do need to tell him. He deserves to know Bella; he is kind of in limbo just like the rest of us."

"I am, I promise. I just feel like I need to tell him in person so we can talk about it and make a plan. The last thing I want is for him to think I don't want to figure out some way for us to be together in the same place, when that's all I want."

"That's an awfully long time Bella. You aren't going to see him for what, two weeks?"

"I know, but I just think it would be the best way," I sighed dropping my spoon back into the cardboard container.

We both had a ton of work to catch up on, and decided we should try and get it out of the way tonight so we could run the numbers again tomorrow before our meeting with our financial advisor. I went to my room and pulled out my laptop. I really had intended on working, but I couldn't stop the thoughts that kept running in my mind.

The first night in Seattle laying there on that couch was the first time I'd really considered taking Edward up on his offer to move where I was. We both loved each other and we were both hurting when we were apart. If he was offering , who was I to turn him down?

All of that had changed last night watching Edward talk about his new project at work. I remembered how animated his beautiful face was as he told me about the opportunity to help these children, the way his eyes twinkled with excitement and emotion.

I played it over and over in my head, and then I had a disturbing revelation.

I'd been trying so hard to not become like my mother I 'd made a major oversight. I wasn't becoming like my mother, I was becoming more like the men she had let into her life. I was actually considering letting Edward give up everything to be with me. In my mind, that made me even _worse _than the long list of men Renee had had in her life. I had seen what it did to a person to give everything a way, I'd watched my mother become more and more dependent on them as time passed until she had nothing of herself left. I loved Edward too much to do that to him, but I also loved him too much to be away from him.

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	22. Upstarts and Broken Hearts

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**Chapter 22 - Upstarts and Broken Hearts**

**(EPOV)**

"Bella? Listen, my flight has been delayed for mechanical problems…" I sat down in a seat near the gate.

"_Damn. Did they say how long it was going to take?"_ I could hear the disappointment in her voice over the phone.

"No, I'm not sure how long, so don't wait for me at the airport."

"_Are you sure? Shit, we've got reservations for dinner. Do you want me to push it back?"_

"No, don't worry about it. Go ahead and go to dinner if you have to, and I'll call you when I land. I can always meet you guys at the restaurant."

"_Okay. I miss you."_ She pouted.

"I know. Love you." I leaned forward and rested my elbows on my knees.

"_Love you too, babe. I'll talk to you soon." _

"Okay, bye." I took a deep breath as I hung up the phone and looked around for the airline personnel, hoping to get some information.

A new plane and a couple of hours later I was finally on my way to Boston to meet Bella and Alice and Jasper. It was St. Patrick's Day and we were meeting up in Boston for the annual Dropkick Murphys show at the House of Blues. Bella and Alice had practically begged us to take them as they'd been dying to go since they were in college. Although I enjoyed The Pogues and Flogging Molly from time to time, I'd never really enjoyed the harsher East Coast style of Dropkick's brand of Celtic punk. I usually preferred the more melodic tones favored on the West Coast.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back as the plane picked up speed for take-off, trying to gain some perspective. My anxiety had nothing to do with the previous delay or the flight I was currently on. It had been several weeks since Bella and I had parted ways after our visit in Seattle, and I was no closer to knowing what the future held for us today than I had been at the end of December. I had thought we'd been making progress in our relationship since we'd finally admitted our love in Vegas and agreed to no longer hold our feelings and thoughts back from each other. True to her word, she had finally opened up to me and had discussed all of the details surrounding the opportunities that had opened up for her and Alice's company as soon as their negotiation contract permitted.

There was no question that a move was in their future; they just needed to pin down the most profitable location. I was ecstatic when she'd told me that Chicago was a possibility. Of course we both knew that would be a perfect solution to our long distance dilemma, but we also knew that it might not be that simple. In all actuality the final determination didn't really matter to me. I was in this relationship for the long haul, and if Chicago was not the final choice I was ready to relocate to whatever destination she and Alice chose. I was not willing to let the distance separate us anymore, and I had thought she was finally ready to let go of her past and live for herself instead of weighing everything she did against the deeds of her mother.

I could tell she was hiding something from me again in the week leading up to her visit to Chicago during the Valentine's holiday. Her calls became slightly less detailed and she changed the subject when anything having to do with their search in Chicago came up in conversation. She subtly focused more on the personal aspect of her visit than the business side. I hadn't wanted to press her, and I'd hoped that she was just waiting until we were together to discuss whatever issues they'd found in the course of their search. I gave her the benefit of the doubt, and had confidence that if there was something I needed to know she wouldn't keep it from me.

When she'd come to visit on Valentine's Day, I could sense the tension in her as soon as she'd walked in the door. I knew something was wrong, knew she was holding back. There was a certain _desperation_ in her kisses that were not part of our normal exchange when we would get together after having spent so many weeks apart. Her little freak out during our gift exchange confirmed my worries and landed a blow to my new found sense of confidence in our relationship.

How she could have ever jumped to the conclusion that I was proposing was still beyond my comprehension. Did I want to propose? _Hell yes!_ Was I ready to spend the rest of my life with her? _Absolutely._ Was she ready? _Obviously not_...her outburst seemed to prove that.

There was nothing I wanted more than to make Bella my wife. When the time was finally right, I already knew I'd take her back to Vegas, back to the Rialto and propose under the bridge in the same spot we'd exchanged our first words of love. I couldn't think of a better way, or place, to ask her to give me forever than where she'd finally given me her heart. However, I knew that in order to make it a reality I would need to bide my time. Before we could move in that direction we would need to complete the relocation of her company and settle ourselves into the new life that the move would bring. I was sure that once we were able to settle into living together on a daily basis, her fears and insecurities regarding her independence would melt away when she saw the compromises we made only strengthened us.

That time was definitely not now, and seemed to be getting further away.

When she'd opened up to me and asked me to come with her to L.A. I was thrilled she wanted to include me in the process. She was making an effort to get back to where we'd been before she'd visited Chicago, and I wrote our difficulties during the holiday off as a fluke, attributing her tension and outburst to the extended travel and information overload from all she had to consider over the previous weeks.

The disappointment in her voice nearly killed me when I'd had to turn her down. It had been difficult to arrange interviews with the families of the children that were going to be the focus for my company's new campaign to raise funding for children in need of prosthetics, and there was no way I could rearrange my schedule at that time. Fortunately I was able to rearrange a couple of my meetings the following week and join her in Seattle.

The week in Seattle went better than I could have imagined. There was a noticeable change in her demeanor from the moment I saw her at the airport. She was definitely more relaxed and was more than willing to share any and all information she and Alice gathered regarding the opportunities available to them in Seattle.

I was definitely relieved at the change in her mood. She seemed lighter and happier than she'd been in weeks prior. I had to wonder though if it was because we were drawing closer to the closing of her business deal and the alleviation of that stress, or if it was our visit with Rose and Emmett and the opportunity to shut out all the complications of our lives and just enjoy a nice comfortable evening. I wanted to believe that it was her finally coming to a decision, but she hadn't exactly been forthcoming about the inner workings of her mind lately.

I left Seattle with hope that things were coming together. It was short lived.

Although we talked daily the first week we were home, we didn't talk about the impending decision at all other than Bella mentioning that she and Alice were meeting with their financial advisor and lawyers to run some final numbers before they made their decision. I knew it was stressful, and judging by how things were over the past few months I figured she would probably want some time to mull things over by herself.

While Bella and Alice had been out conferring with the real estate agent in Seattle, I had organized and evaluated the information I'd gathered during the preceding week's interviews. By the time I'd finished compiling the information in my files, I had come to some realizations about my own position at Martin Bionics and wanted to discuss some possible changes that I had started to consider with Bella.

The research I'd collected led me to believe that the proposed partnership between my company and a well known children's foundation was not going to work logistically. It would be better to work our way from the ground up independently from any currently interested non-profit organizations. I hoped the board would agree with my recommendations, and release me from my current position to head up the new project. I would be starting fresh, on my own, but I was more than willing to take on the challenges such a move would bring, especially since a side benefit would hopefully allow me the freedom to move anywhere in the country.

Every time I tried to bring it up to Bella she changed the subject. She simply refused to speak about the move and the possibilities I had in mind for myself in regards to it. She blocked me at every turn. It was so frustrating to not know what was going on, and in turn not be able to discuss my own opportunities. I felt like our relationship was growing increasingly one-sided and that was something I could not let slide, regardless of how much I loved her.

I was worried about what that meant for us. I had already wasted ten years without her, and I wasn't willing to continue living without her anymore…I didn't understand it at all. I could only hope that we would finally be able to discuss it this weekend and make our decisions together. I needed to believe that.

By the time my flight landed in Boston, I knew there was no way I'd be able to meet them for dinner. As soon as I was able I called her to let her know that I'd just meet them at the hotel so that we could walk to the concert. Traffic during St. Patrick's Day festivities was worse than hell, and I reminded myself not to return to Boston at this time of year, ever. Thankfully Bella had left a key to our room at the desk before they left for dinner, so I was able to grab a quick shower while I waited for them to return from the restaurant.

I was surprised to find her leaning against the door to the bathroom when I came out of the shower. She was beautiful, as always. My heart ached at the sight of her standing there, waiting for me. She was dressed casually for the show in tight dark washed jeans with wide cuffs at the bottom, and a tight black cardigan over a black and white polka dotted top. She'd only fastened a couple of shiny buttons in the center drawing my attention to the soft fabric covering her breasts and the contrast of the dark color of the sweater against the paleness of her skin. Her hair was drawn up in a high ponytail, further exposing her delicious skin under my now heated gaze.

She pushed away from the door and jumped up onto the marble countertop and beckoned me to join her. She tilted her head to the side slightly with a smile and reached out her hand. "Let me help you with that."

I crossed the short distance quietly. She took the towel from around my waist and proceeded to gently dry a few stray droplets of water that I had missed before using it to draw me closer to her.

"I missed you."

"I missed you too." I whispered looking down at her upturned face.

She dropped the towel and slid her hands up the bare skin of my back until she reached my neck and gently pulled my lips to hers. Our mouths moved in a gentle, yet passionate dance. I didn't want to stop. With all the emotions I'd been dealing with over the past week, my body craved the comfort her touch would bring, but I knew that Alice would be knocking on our door at any moment.

I wrapped my arms around her and crushed her to me in a fierce hug. "I'd better get dressed."

She laughed and gave me a quick squeeze before jumping down off of the counter. "Don't worry, I've got something special planned for later that will completely make up for not being able to continue our little reunion."

"I'll hold you to that." I smirked and started towards the bedroom.

She walked ahead and smacked my ass on her way to the door, turning to wink. "Hurry up, we don't want to make the pixie wait!"

I had barely finished getting dressed when the she-devil started pounding on our door. I quickly grabbed my wallet from the pants I'd worn on the flight and we joined Alice and Jasper in the hall. We left our coats in the room even though it was March, and cold as hell outside, since the House of Blues was only a short walk from the hotel.

Alice set off at an unnaturally brisk pace for her short stature and the incredibly high heeled boots she was wearing. "Thank God I didn't have to pull you two nymphos apart, we're going to be cutting it close as it is if we're going to make it in time to see Bane open."

"By the way, thank you guys for agreeing to come to the show with us," Bella said, her excitement was almost palpable. "I know Dropkick Murphys is a little bit of an acquired taste, but their annual St. Patrick's Day shows are legendary. I know you're going to love it. "

Fortunately we must have arrived at the right time, because the line to get in wasn't that long. As soon as we made it inside, we headed straight for the bar to load up on Guinness before finding a comfortable spot to watch the first band.

I quickly forgot about the concerns that had occupied my thoughts all day. Being able to hold Bella in my arms as we listened to the music calmed me immensely and I was able to push my worries aside and enjoy myself. I found myself wishing that things between us could always be this easy, this natural, but I stopped that train of thought before it took me down a road that could ruin my good mood.

In between sets Bella and Alice braved the crowd in search of the restrooms while Jasper and I went to the bar to replenish our drinks. By the time we'd gotten back from the bar the girls still hadn't returned to the spot we'd carved out for ourselves, so I split my attention between scanning the crowd for Bella, and half-listening to Jasper tell me about the fiasco that happened at his speaking engagement last weekend.

"Maybe we should go back to the bar and get a couple of shots for a toast, since you missed the one at dinner earlier?"

"What are we celebrating?" I asked half-heartedly while searching the rabid crowd for Bella, lord knows we wouldn't be able to spot Alice's petite self in this crush even with the unnaturally high-heeled boots she was wearing.

"What rock have you been living under?" Jasper asked, looking at me like I'd grown a second head.

"What are you talking about?"

"The move to Seattle, dumb-ass."

_What the hell? _He had my full attention now. "What the fuck are you talking about Jasper?"

"The girls? Moving the company to Seattle? Any of this ringing a bell?" Before I could stop him he reached out and flicked me in the middle of the forehead.

_No. No way._ _She wouldn't do that. She said she'd let me know as soon as they knew what they were going to do… _I took a swig of the thick Guinness in my cup and tried to gather my thoughts. I turned back to see the incredulous look on his face, and felt like a hundred pound weight had just dropped onto my chest.

"Shit, Edward. I thought you'd heard." A look of understanding flashed across his face. "She should have been the one to tell you."

"Yeah."

We stood there quietly finishing our beers, neither of us knowing what to say. I kept going over things in my mind. Trying to believe I'd just missed something in our conversations over the last couple of days, but knowing there was no way in hell I would miss her telling me something so important.

I could feel his gaze pass over me several times, and finally turned towards him and raised an eyebrow daring him to pry. He sighed and looked away swallowing the last dregs of the thick Irish beer.

"Are you okay?"

I waited until he looked back my way before answering. "Honestly? I don't know."

He gave a small nod in understanding, and we lapsed back into silence.

_Why? Why when everything I'd ever wanted was finally within reach? She promised me…she gave me her word she wouldn't keep anything from me. _My thoughts only served to fuel the hurt I felt, slowly stoking it into anger.

My head started pounding and I felt as if the crowd was closing in on me. I closed my eyes and concentrated on breathing until I heard the familiar sounds of her laughter approaching. I glanced at Jasper and shook my head indicating that I wanted him to keep quiet. He met my gaze with a slight inclination of his head as the only indication that he understood my request.

Bella and Alice weaved their way toward us through the throng of drunk punks carrying a shot in each hand. The genuine smile on her face prodded my anger and I struggled to maintain my composure.

"We're back! Did you miss me?" Her smile faltered only slightly when her teasing failed to earn the reaction she thought she'd get.

"Sorry it took us so long, the lines were killer." Alice danced over to Jasper handing him one of the shots.

Bella held her right hand out to me. "I got you a shot of Redbreast."

I couldn't look at her. I looked at the shot she offered instead and shook my head. "No thanks."

"You sure, babe?" She raised her hand and waved the shot glass in my face. "It's 12 year old pure pot still Irish whiskey, mmmmm."

I took a half-step back and turned my head away. "That's great, but no."

"Please," She tried to tempt me with a pout, but there was no way I was taking that Goddamn shot. "St. Patrick says all good Irishmen drink a shot in honor of the day…"

I finally looked at her and leveled my gaze with hers. "I guess it's a good thing I'm not Irish."

Her eyes grew wide at my tone of voice, and she silently mouthed "okay" before turning away. "Here Jazz, take Edward's shot. He doesn't want it."

I immediately felt bad for being so rude, even if my mood was justified. I really just wanted to leave, but I knew that wasn't an option at the moment._ Take a deep breath, you can't do this here. Hold out until we get to the hotel…_

The lights dimmed signaling the next set for the night, and I continued to try to calm myself. Bella and I needed to have a serious talk, and it would do me no good to lose my temper. I needed to focus and not allow the hurt I felt to rule my head. I needed to be rational and logical so that she would understand where I was coming from.

"Edward?"

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice when she had turned back towards me.

"I'm sorry I pushed. Are you okay?" She reached her hand out and took one of mine in hers, giving it a small squeeze.

"I'm fine." I drew her towards me. Even in my anger, my heart called for the comfort it usually found in her arms. I gave her a quick hug and then turned her around to face the stage. I wrapped my arms around her hoping the band would distract me from the inner battle of my emotions.

The crowd was rowdy enough that we decided to leave just before the end of the set. We knew it was going to be hell on the streets and wanted to make sure we could get back to the hotel quickly. My anger had finally cooled to the point where I hoped I could have a rational conversation once we got back to our room. Even as late as it was, there was no way that I could sleep on it. I couldn't let it fester overnight, especially since I knew there was no way I could sleep unless we hashed this out.

I knew that she was aware that there was a problem. I had hardly spoken two words to anyone since the start of the last set, and as we walked back to the hotel she held fast to my hand offering a small smile and a reassuring squeeze every time she glanced my way.

Alice and Jasper's room was on the floor above us so we parted ways when the elevator reached our floor, making plans to meet the next morning for breakfast.

"That was so much better than I thought it would be, they're so amazing live!"Bella attempted to fill the silence.

"Yeah it was great." I unlocked the door and held it open for her.

"I'm so tired now though. I think I must be getting too old for this kind of shit." She said as she went into the bathroom.

I took my coat off and threw it over the back of a chair, and walked to the window to close the drapes, needing to feel a sense of privacy even though we were high above the streets. I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed when I heard the bathroom door open. _This is it. We can get through this…_

"What happened tonight? I know something's wrong." She walked up behind me wrapping her arms around my waist and resting her head against my back. "You've been tense since just before the second set."

"You're right. I am upset." I laid my arms over hers, hoping to feel more secure in the shit storm I knew was coming.

"You're not still upset about me pushing you to take that shot of whiskey, are you?" She laughed nervously. "Cause, I already apologized for that back at the show."

"This isn't about the shot Bella, and I think you know that." I paused for a second waiting to see if she understood. When she remained silent, I took a deep breath and prayed to whoever would listen that this would go well. "Why didn't you tell me you and Alice had made your decision?"

"Oh God. Edward I-"

"How long have you known?"

She pulled her arms from around me and stepped away. The absence of her touch left me cold, and the heaviness I'd felt in my chest earlier returned, leaving me breathless.

"Since just after we got back from Seattle."

"Great. So all of this time when I've been trying to talk to you about it you knew and just refused to discuss it with me." I could feel my anger rising. I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration. _Relax. Deep slow breaths. _I needed to stay calm but every time she opened her mouth the words I heard hit harder than the last.

"No, it's not like that." Her voice rose slightly in pitch. "I was...I just didn't know how to tell you. I-"

I spun around to face her hoping I'd be able to focus on the conversation and not back down. "I guess I don't understand how hard it is to pick up the phone, especially since we talk _every day_, and say 'Hey Edward, Alice and I decided that we're moving to Seattle. I love you and want to be with you, so we should talk about what that means for us.' instead of leaving me hanging for two weeks."

"This," she waved her hands around, "is what I was afraid of, I knew you wouldn't understand."

"It seems pretty straight forward to me. You're moving to Seattle, and now we have to discuss how we're going to handle that as it pertains to moving forward in our relationship. I don't get what I'm not supposed to understand about that."

"Exactly. That's what I'm trying to tell you, and you're not letting me finish."

"By all means then, explain it to me, please, because clearly this is beyond my comprehension," I snapped sarcastically.

"Thanks," she snapped back and then sighed, rubbing her forehead with her hand as she continued. "I knew back during Valentine's that Chicago wasn't going to work out for us, and even though I knew I shouldn't have, I had been counting on it working out – I needed it to work – and when it didn't I got really upset because I knew that would mean you would have to leave your job, for me, and that bothered me.

"I didn't tell you at the time because I was trying to reconcile myself to the situation that either I would have to come to terms with you giving up your life and following me, or we would have to continue living apart. I couldn't figure out which scenario was worse."

"Bella we knew that was the situation from the beginning-"

"Let me finish." She glared at me. I held my hands up indicating she could continue.

"The first night when we were in Seattle, laying there on that couch, I finally accepted that there was no way to reach an equal compromise, and if I wanted to be with you then I would have to let you give up your life in Chicago for me, but then I saw how excited you were about the new project you were working on. You were so excited and passionate about helping those children.

"When we got back to Miami all I could think about was how happy you were, and that if I allowed you to follow me to Seattle you'd have to give up that opportunity. I realized I couldn't let you do that. I didn't want to talk about it because I was trying to figure out a way to fix it, but I can't. I love you Edward, but I could not live with myself if you came to resent me because I made you give up your job. That's not who I want to be. I decided we'd been able to make it work this long apart, so I figured we could just continue on as we have for a while longer. It's the only solution."

_What the fuck? Does she really expect me to accept that load of crap?_ I could feel myself getting angrier with each bullshit explanation that passed her lips. _Where the fuck does she get off making decisions for me, for the both of us? _

"You're wrong Bella. It's _you_ who doesn't understand." I said quietly. "It's not your decision to make, it never was."

She opened her mouth to refute me, but I cut her off.

"My God, do you know how incredibly selfish that sounded? This isn't supposed to be about you feeling guilty or you making the best decision for us, or you making some completely… bullshit sacrifice in the name of my happiness, because you obviously missed somewhere along the line that I can't be happy unless I'm with you.

"What you obviously don't get is that this isn't about you, and it's not about me. It's supposed to be about _us_. It's not your decision to make. It's ours. It's my job, and it's my decision to put it on the table for discussion. If you would have talked to me you would have known how I felt about it and known that I have viable options out there that would be just as fulfilling if not more so than my current position."

She looked away from me. I could see the tremble in her shoulders as she struggled not to cry.

_Fuck! I'm such a fucking asshole._

I looked up at the ceiling directing my anger back to myself. I hadn't meant to make her cry. Knowing that my words had caused her that much hurt, made me want to throw up, even if they were true. It was never my intention to cause her any pain. We couldn't keep this up for tonight. We were both tired and too emotionally drained to continue.

"Do you remember the night when I told you I loved you?" I whispered in one last desperate attempt for her to understand.

"Of course, how could I forget?" Her voice sounded thick and strained.

"After wasting 10 years apart and months of being afraid to express our feelings, we agreed that we'd always tell each other what was on our mind. You promised me Bella. You swore you wouldn't do this shit anymore. If you would have talked to me instead of trying to take all the responsibility on yourself we wouldn't be having this discussion. I'm an adult, not a child incapable of logical reasoning, and as such I should be included in making decisions that affect our relationship."

She only nodded, refusing to look at me_. I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall. Why won't she fucking talk to me?_

"Communication is essential to any successful relationship, whether we're together or thousands of miles apart. I don't know how we're supposed to make this work if you keep shutting me out. If you can't communicate with me now, how am I supposed to trust that you won't do the same when we're living together?"

_More fucking silence_, and it was killing me. My chest burned, I couldn't breathe. Her inability to answer was suffocating me. I felt like the walls of the hotel room were closing in on me. I needed to get out, I needed to get some air.

"I can't do this by myself, if you aren't going to talk to me anymore…" I felt completely defeated. I didn't know what else to say. "I…I need to go."

So I left, I fucking left her there. I had to. I needed time to think, time to calm down. _Maybe if I give her some time to think as well, she might see where I'm coming from and we could continue on more rationally when I returned._

I let the door shut behind me without a look back. I knew if I had I wouldn't have been able to leave, and in the heat and anger of the moment I knew we both needed a few minutes of space. I had never seen her look so…like complete and utter fucking hell. _If she feels like I do then I must not look much better…_

The worst part was, it was my fault she was in there crying. I hated myself for doing that to her, but I also knew that if we didn't get this shit taken care of now, it would be so much worse later, maybe even get to the point where we wouldn't be able to work it out, and for me that wasn't an option.

I couldn't live my life happily without her. I'd already spent ten years where she was completely absent from my life, and knew that I didn't want go back to that, ever.

I walked down to the lobby and out of the hotel, and although it was quite cold, my mind was, for the most part, numb to it's effects. I circled the square thinking of how far we'd come in the last ten years. The miracle of having a second chance to share my life with the only woman in the world I had ever loved calmed me. I walked until the cold finally penetrated my thoughts, and made my way back to the hotel hoping I'd given us both enough time to think things through.

I opened the door, surprised and slightly disappointed that the lights were out_. I must have taken too long and she went to bed._ I quietly got my sleep pants and went to the bathroom to change; I didn't want to wake her.

It wasn't until I reached for my toothbrush that I noticed anything out of the ordinary. The space on the counter where her makeup bag had been earlier was empty. I looked around the bathroom nervously, hoping she had just put it back in her suitcase. I looked in the shower as well, and noticing her shampoo was gone I started to panic.

_Fuck._ I ran my fingers through my hair frantically, trying to get a handle on the situation. _Deep breath, calm down. There is nothing to worry about. She just put her shit away and went to bed._ I paced trying not to freak out. _When you go into the bedroom, she's going to be sleeping in that bed. _

I opened the door and walked towards the bed. My heart was pounding so hard I thought my chest might explode. Since I'ad closed the drapes earlier, and the only light was coming from the bathroom door I couldn't see anything. I closed my eyes, partially to try and calm myself but also to allow my sight to adjust to the level of darkness in the room.

I counted to twenty, took two deep breaths, and slowly opened my eyes. _She's not there._

My throat closed off and I started to choke. I turned on the nearest lamp and looked at the empty bed. It was still perfectly made.

_Oh fuck….shit…_My legs were shaking so much I couldn't stand anymore. I collapsed on the edge of the bed. I looked around for her suitcase, knowing it wouldn't be there.

I rubbed my hand over my chest trying to ease the ache and the tightness as I gasped for air. It felt like my chest had cracked open, leaving me my heart vulnerable and broken, and my mind struggled to wrap around the reality that was so obvious all around me.

_She left._

* * *

**Chapter 22 has been brought to you by The Dropkick Murphys **_**Upstarts and Broken Hearts**_**, and pkitten21 who braved the curses and rotten tomatoes to bring on the heartfail.**

**Just remember we have said from the start there WILL be a Happily Ever After for these two, but there is a path to get there that isn't always the easiest to maneuver. We have tried to make these characters with real flaws and sometimes it takes a little while to work through things. We all hope you will stick with us and trust us for the rest of the trip. {HUGS} We need them because we are sad too.**

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	23. Chasing Rainbows

**A/N: First off, thank you so much to everyone who bid on us in the Fandom Gives Back auction and fundraiser. At the time of this posting, the overall total was around $80k and that is truly an amazing thing. We can't even begin to tell you how much it means to us that you helped us to raise money for a truly worthwhile cause.**

**As for this chapter: We're dealing with some pretty heavy stuff here between B & E, and we want to make sure that both sides are completely heard. Please bear with us. ;) Once again, we want to stress that there **_**will be**_** a HEA, but the road to get there isn't always an easy one.**

**Stephenie Meyer created these characters and they belong to her. We just break their hearts and try to help them put the pieces back together.**

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**Chapter 23 - Chasing Rainbows**

When the lock clicked shut with a resounding snap, it felt like all the air was sucked from my lungs. The other half of my heart had walked out on me, and I was frozen in place like a marble statue. Our words echoed in my mind, and I fought to choke back the tears that burned in the corners of my eyes.

"_This isn't about the shot Bella, and I think you know that."_

I'd held him around the waist, his body stiff and unyielding to my touch. I hadn't understood why he had sounded so angry and upset. I couldn't think of anything that had happened during the evening that would have caused his mood to shift so abruptly. He'd been silent for a beat, as I awaited some words of further explanation, but instead he'd spoken the last words I'd expected him to say.

"_Why didn't you tell me you and Alice had made your decision?"_

I froze. I couldn't help it. Him finding out from someone other than me was the worst thing that could've happened. He didn't even allow me a moment to attempt an explanation. His words had been sharp, the obvious anger laced with sadness.

"_How long have you known?"_

I'd pulled away from him gently and taken a step back. I let out a breath and hung my head, staring blankly at the crisscross pattern in the berber carpet.

"_Since just after we got back from Seattle,"_ I'd answered.

"_Great. So all of this time when I've been trying to talk to you about it you knew, and just refused to discuss it with me." _

He'd sounded _so_ angry. More than I'd never heard before. He'd still been facing away from me, his posture looking stiff, one hand on his hip, and the other pinching the bridge of his nose - something he only did when he was incredibly upset or frustrated. The fact that I had obviously hurt him so much hit me like a ton of bricks, and I'd struggled to take a breath and find the words to explain.

"_No, it's not like that…"_ It had taken every ounce of control I possessed to fight to keep my voice even and not crack. "_I was...I just didn't know how to tell you. I-"_

He'd spun on me quickly, anger and hurt flashing in his eyes. It was a sight I was very unfamiliar with.

"_I guess I don't understand how hard it is to pick up the phone, especially since we talk every day, and say 'Hey Edward, Alice and I decided that we're moving to Seattle. I love you and want to be with you, so we should talk about what that means for us.' instead of leaving me hanging for two weeks."_

I'd carefully weighed my reasoning over those weeks, in an effort to prepare myself for the discussion I knew we needed to have about the move, but being put on the spot made me feel out of control and frantic, and I couldn't get the words to come.

"_This,"_ I'd gestured towards him, _"is what I was afraid of. I knew you wouldn't understand."_

How could I have possibly made him see that I wasn't withholding information to be deceitful, or to hurt him, but simply because I was trying to _avoid _hurting him? I felt all along that he would be more hurt by knowing that we wouldn't be moving to Chicago than he would be upset that I hadn't told him right away. But now all the thoughts that had filtered through my mind over the past weeks suddenly seemed wrong.

_How could I have ever justified to myself not telling him? Fucking fuck! I should have been the one to tell him. He was right. I should have told him right away. No excuses. None. Nothing could justify my stupidity. Not thoughts of trying to compromise, or hopes that all the pieces would magically fall into place._

I sunk heavily to end of the bed, echoes of his biting words rattling around in my skull. I could still smell him in the air, and the tenuous grip on my emotions was growing strained.

"_It seems pretty straightforward to me. You're moving to Seattle, and now we have to discuss how we're going to handle that as it pertains to moving forward in our relationship. I don't get what I'm not supposed to understand about that."_

I'd taken a deep breath, trying to steel myself against the anger and hurt that was pouring off of him in waves.

"_Exactly. That's what I'm trying to tell you, and you're not letting me finish--"_

"_By all means then, explain it to me, please, because clearly this is beyond my comprehension,"_ he'd snapped at me. The facetious tone rang loud and clear.

I'd launched into what I thought was a reasonable explanation, giving him all of the reasons I thought it was wrong and selfish for my business choices to dictate what our future held. I'd tried to justify having withheld the information by telling him that I was trying to reach an equal compromise that didn't require pulling him from a project he loved, but hadn't found one. The blank expression on his face had put me on edge, giving me no indication of whether he'd absorbed or accepted my words, until he effectively shot down my entire explanation.

"_You're wrong Bella. It's you who doesn't understand. It's not your decision to make, it never was."_

Those few calmly spoken sentences from his quivering lips broke my heart and twisted my perspective so violently that it stunned me speechless.

He was right. He was _so_ right, and it was almost ridiculous that it hadn't actually occurred to me before that very moment, but somehow that particular piece of logic had never entered my frazzled brain. He'd then launched into a tirade that, while I fully heard and understood, made me feel so terribly guilty that I hadn't been able to respond. He was angry with me, and wounded by my actions, and I felt deserving of every barbed word.

He'd growled at me about my selfishness and my misplaced sense of guilt, and I couldn't argue. My feelings of guilt were further fueled by his admission that he couldn't be happy without me, because I felt the same way, but I, for some dumbass reason, hadn't been able to relax and just let us _be_ together, obstacles be damned. I'd wanted to cry, but I bit my lip and swallowed thickly, not wanting him to see my tears. I'd known they would make him feel bad for yelling at me, even though I had it coming.

"_Do you remember the night when I told you I loved you?" _he'd finally whispered into the dark room.

I could never forget that night, and I'd told him so.

"_After wasting 10 years apart, and months of being afraid to express our feelings, we agreed that we'd always tell each other what was on our mind. You promised me Bella. You swore you wouldn't do this shit anymore. If you would have talked to me instead of trying to take all the responsibility on yourself we wouldn't be having this discussion."_

_What the fuck was I thinking?_ I'd expected him to be disappointed, but I stupidly hadn't considered that I was breaking my promise to him. I _had_ promised him, he was right. I'd sworn to him that I wouldn't throw up any more roadblocks in our relationship by shying away from telling him the whole truth. We _had _wasted too much time apart already, and I'd gone and sabotaged our relationship in the worst way.

I'd nodded my acknowledgement to him, so he knew I was listening, but my brain felt slow, and I hadn't wanted to speak without carefully choosing what to say. He was already so hurt, and I was so in the wrong, that I didn't want to speak rashly and make things worse with bullshit answers.

His fists had clenched and unclenched at his sides, and I heard every heavy breath he took. I'd wanted him to hold me, or hold my hand, or even just sit next to me, but I was wallowing in my guilt and I didn't reach for him like I'd so badly wanted to. I felt crushed by the realization that I had massively failed someone who I loved more than my own life.

"_I can't do this by myself, if you aren't going to talk to me anymore…I…I need to go."_

And with those words he was gone.

My thoughts tortured me with a playback of his words on constant repeat.

"…_incredibly selfish…"_

"…_it's not your decision, it never was…"_

"…_I need to go…"_

My fingers and toes felt strangely numb, and my chest ached with a suffocating heaviness that made it difficult to take a deep breath.

I glanced at the alarm clock on the bedside table. He'd only been gone five minutes, but it felt like forever.

The echoes grew louder and angrier, and I willed my frozen body to move.

My worst fear had just come true. He was done with me, and I had no one to blame but myself.

I felt a hot tear slide down my cheek when I screwed my eyes shut, trying to block out the noise in my head and the oppressive silence in the room.

I considered calling Jasper and Alice's room, to see if he'd gone to them, but I ultimately decided against it. The obvious lack of Edward's presence was too much for me to bear, and wanting him to come back was worse, because I didn't know if I could ever make it up to him. I needed comfort and there was only one place I could get what I needed, Edward's arms. Since that wasn't an option, I would have to settle for my own bed at home, where I could cry into my own feather pillow until the tears ran dry.

My body went on auto-pilot, while my mind tried to sift through the mangled wreckage of the evening.

With shaky hands, I forced my mess of toiletries into their bag, and recalled how sweetly he'd looked at me when he first walked in the door. I grabbed all the haphazardly strewn clothing from around the room, shoving it into my suitcase in no kind of order, and remembered his hands around my waist as we'd sang to the music at the beginning of the night.

The final straw that I thought might truly break me in two, was picturing the dead empty look in his eyes before he'd left. I had childishly refused to make eye contact up to that point, for fear of what I might see, but I'd snuck a furtive glance through the thick curtain of my hair. He'd looked at me like he was looking at a stranger. Cold and detached. It was such a sharp contrast to the way he usually looked at me that it rocked me to the core. For all the effort I'd put forth to guard my heart from being broken, I had effectively brought that exact thing on myself, and I'd hurt him in the process. It was a terrible kind of irony, and the fact that I was solely to blame was now my cross to bear.

I was an idiot for not seeing how self-serving my actions had been. I was keeping Edward at a figurative arms length because I was afraid of getting in too deep and getting hurt, but I was too stupid to see that by that point I was _already_ in too deep. Edward was the air that had been keeping me alive, and without him I couldn't manage to breathe. The gorgeous nerdy boy I had loved as a kid had stolen my whole heart as an adult, and I turned around and fucked it all up.

I gathered my bags, took one last look around, and forced myself to open the door and step out into the hallway . A huge part of me wanted to find him, throw myself into his arms and scream how sorry I was, and beg him not to leave me, but the other, smaller part knew that no good could come from forcing myself on him. He obviously just wanted to get away from me and have some space between us. I loved him enough to give him that, even if what he wanted wasn't _me._

*

The airport was fairly quiet and uncrowded when the taxi dropped me off. I snuffled a thank you and shoved some money at him, practically leaping from the cab and into the terminal. I booked a seat on the next flight out, which unfortunately didn't leave for a few hours. I had no choice but to sit in the terminal and stew in my misery.

After an eternity of waiting, they finally called for boarding, and I practically ran to the gate. The sooner I could get on the plane, the sooner I'd be home.

I settled into a window seat in an otherwise empty row and fidgeted anxiously, realizing that I would be all alone with my thoughts when I got home. The idea absolutely terrified me. I always had Alice or Edward to bounce my ideas or feelings off of, and I would be going home to a silent, empty apartment.

Once the seatbelt light went off I flagged down the flight attendant, and dug through my messy purse, looking for cash.

"Can I please have as many little bottles of vodka as that will buy me?" I asked, and I thrust a handful of bills at her.

"Ma'am we have a three drink per passenger limit on flights of this length. I can give you those three, and here is your change," She handed me back the majority of my money and flashed me a sympathetic smile. I probably looked awful, with red eyes and crazy hair, asking for booze on a red eye flight where most of the other travelers were sleeping.

She gave me my three tiny bottles, along with a can of Pepsi, and I forced a smile in thanks. I downed them as fast as I could without choking, and willed the alcohol to numb my mind, if only temporarily.

I must have passed out quickly, either from the drinks, or the sheer emotional exhaustion, or both, because the same sympathetic flight attendant gently shook me awake what seemed like moments later.

"Ma'am, we've landed in Miami. Please prepare to exit the aircraft."

I groaned softly, trying to get my bearings. The weight of why I was home, and without Alice or Edward beside me, came down on me again.

I grabbed my purse and fished out my cell phone, turning it on, and I waited for the stupid little Apple logo to give way to my home screen. Finally, it flashed on saying that I had ten text messages and eight new voicemails.

I shook my head, knowing that most, if not all of the messages would be from Alice. I sighed heavily, wanting once again to call and explain everything, but I needed to be home, in the safety of my bed before I called her, because I knew that once I opened the floodgates and really let myself cry, it was going to be messy and ugly. I really didn't want to have an emotional meltdown at the baggage claim or on the freeway.

Alice's car was parked in the long-term parking lot, and I had the spare key in my purse, but I decided to take a cab instead so she could have it when she came home.

The taxi drove me home quickly, which was fortunate, because I was swimming in a fog of nausea and despair. The cab had barely pulled away from the curb when I found myself retching heavily into the bushes beside the building entrance. It was likely the copious amounts of alcohol from the night before and on the flight home, but it was also at least half from shame. I was _so_ ashamed of myself. The fact that I had so easily overlooked the stupidity of my actions was enough to start me heaving again.

I shuffled into the apartment, dropping my bags near the door. I didn't make it any farther than the couch before I collapsed. I pulled out my phone and braced myself for the onslaught of messages.

I checked all of the voicemails, and none were from Edward. My heart sunk a little lower in my chest at that fact, but I shouldn't have been surprised. I doubted he'd be interested in any more of my feeble attempts to explain away my behavior, and I couldn't blame him. There was no valid excuse.

A few of the voicemails were from a panicked and frantic Alice, demanding to know where I was, what had happened, and why I hadn't called her. There was also one from Rosalie, telling me that my truck was ready, and asking if I wanted them to take it to Charlie's for me. I made a mental note to call her once I was done wallowing.

I checked the texts next, and I was bombarded with a virtual wall of angry, worried Alice in all caps.

_[02:35a] WHERE ARE YOU? WHY AREN'T YOU ANSWERING YOUR CELL? --A_

_[02:47a] YOU TOOK ALL YOUR STUFF AND LEFT? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING? WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME? --A_

_[03:02a] EDWARD IS A MESS. HE LOOKS LIKE SHIT. WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN YOU TWO? --A_

_[03:11a] I WOULD HAVE GONE WITH YOU IF YOU'D BOTHERED TO TELL ME YOU WERE LEAVING. ARE YOU OKAY? --A_

_[03:31a] JAZZ CAN'T GET EDWARD TO SAY TWO WORDS TO HIM. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON! CALL ME! --A_

_[04:12a] BELLA YOU BETTER CALL ME RIGHT NOW! --A_

_[04:20a] IF YOU DON'T CALL ME IN THE NEXT TEN MINUTES I'M CALLING CHARLIE! --A_

_[04:31a] OKAY FINE, I WON'T CALL CHARLIE, BUT I WILL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU FOR MAKING ME WORRY! CALL ME PLEASE! --A_

_[05:15a] I HOPE YOU'RE OKAY. LOVE YOU. PLEASE CALL ME. --A _

Seeing her say that Edward was a mess only made me feel worse, but I imagined I looked pretty rough at the moment too. It had been a long night.

I quickly dialed Alice's cell number, and she picked up midway through the first ring.

"Are you okay? Are you alive? Why did you leave? Things are a mess here, Bella. What the fuck _happened_?" Alice practically shouted into the phone in one long burst without a breath.

"No, yes, and I'll explain when you get home. It's too much to go into right now."

"Bella, Jasper has been trying to get Edward to talk to him since he came to our room looking for you. He's a horrible mess."

"Thanks Alice, that's just what I needed to hear."

"He was worried about you Bella. He just wanted to make sure you were safe."

"Yeah, well, I am. So he can stop worrying. I'm home."

"Did you seriously think that not telling him about the move was a good idea? Jasper told me what happened in the club. You promised me you were going to tell him."

"Yeah, well, I'm apparently shitty at keeping my promises, didn't Edward tell you that?" I snapped, and it came out harsher than I'd intended it to. I wanted to smack myself for lashing out at her when she had nothing to do with what happened. In fact, her advice had been to tell him right away, and I should have listened.

"Ouch. That was totally unnecessary. Edward didn't tell me _anything. _That's why I'm asking _you. _I'm trying to find out what happened. That's all."

"I'm sorry, Alice. Look, I'm exhausted and drained, and I just need to sleep. Are you coming home tonight?"

"Yeah, I am. I'm leaving for the airport right now. I'll see you when I get home."

"Okay. Wake me up when you get here?"

"I will. Bye."

The phone beeped twice and disconnected, and I forced myself up and off the couch.

I stumbled down the hallway to my bed, where the tears finally came. There in my cocoon of sheets and blankets, and I cried until my eyes felt like dried up crusty cotton balls.

I cried for my fucked-up childhood that had seriously skewed my perspective on relationships. I cried for my broken heart, which ached with every breath because it felt like half of me was missing. Mostly, I cried for the love of my life, who I had hurt and failed in the worst possible way. I knew I might never get to see him look at me with the same trust and love he once had, and that was painful, but it was far _less_ painful than knowing how badly I'd hurt him. That was what stung the most.

I cried until I fell into a deep sleep, with visions of Edward's green eyes dancing through my mind.

I missed him already.

*

I was pulled from sleep gently, vaguely aware of the bed moving behind me, and I felt a feather light touch on my forehead. For a split second I forgot the events of the previous day and I thought it might be Edward, but Alice's tinkly voice pulled me back into reality.

"Bells, are you awake?"she whispered.

"Sorta."

"Do you want anything?" she asked, stroking my hair softly.

I turned slightly and peeked at her over my shoulder. "Yeah."

"Is it something I can actually get for you?" she asked, catching my drift.

"No." I answered flatly.

"Do you want to talk?"

"What is there to talk about? I made a mistake, and he called me on it. I didn't know how to respond, so I said nothing. He got mad and yelled, then he walked out on me and I came home. The end."

Summing it up like that, in so few words, made it seem like so much less than it was.

"Don't do that, Bella. Things aren't quite that simple. I know that."

She leaned into me and squeezed me in a one-armed hug, and I couldn't keep the tears at bay. I sobbed on her shoulder, and she held me, even though I could sense that there was more she wanted to say.

I fell asleep again, and when I awoke this time it was late, and the apartment was pitch black and almost silent. I shuffled to the kitchen for a bottle of water for my parched throat, and I could hear Alice whispering in the living room. I hadn't intended to listen, but it sounded like she was talking about me.

"No, she's just as bad as he was… At least she's talking!... Well, keep trying… I know it was, but he left! What was she supposed to think?... Ok, I don't want to argue either... I love you babe… G'night."

Her scary sixth sense must have kicked in, because the second she snapped her phone shut she turned to me with a sympathetic look in her eyes. I froze, feeling bad for listening in, but getting the impression that she didn't care.

"He came to us, you know. When he couldn't find you he got scared. He thought you were gone for good. We didn't know what to say to him, because you didn't answer your phone, so we told him you probably went home because you needed some time to think about things."

"Alice, _he_ walked out on _me _and he didn't come back. What else was I supposed to do? He said 'I can't do this', and then he _left me._ I couldn't have looked him in the face after that. I couldn't stay. "

"That's what I assumed, but I think what you were _supposed_ to do was give the man you love the benefit of the doubt. He's hurt Bells. He feels betrayed."

"I thought you said he wasn't talking."

"He wasn't really, but Jasper knows his brother, and I think he can sense what's going on with him."

"I think maybe we _both_ just need some time to think before I try and call him. I don't want to hurt him anymore, and he's going to be pissed for a while."

"Whatever you think is best, Bells. I'm not going to tell you what to do on this one. I would prefer to stay out of it. I'm going back to bed. We can talk about this more tomorrow if you want."

She patted me on the shoulder, and retreated to her bedroom.

"Edward," I whispered to the empty hallway, wishing I could be whispering in his ear. "I'm so sorry."

*

For a few days after the blow-up I tried to concentrate on my work as a distraction from the chaos of my personal life. I wanted to try and go back to some semblance of a normal existence, but it just wasn't happening. I attempted to make serious business phone calls, only to lose my train of thought halfway through and come off sounding like a bumbling moron. My every waking thought was of Edward. What he was doing, what he was thinking, whether or not he hated me. I misfiled paperwork, made mistakes on important orders, and was generally making Alice's life difficult. I'd been avoiding any actual talk about Edward, or the fight, since I was on the verge of tears almost constantly, and Alice was coming close to braining me with a fabric weight. She seriously disapproved of my coping techniques, and told me so at every available opportunity. I apologized profusely, but she waved me off. I could tell she was keeping something from me, but I didn't press.

I hadn't called Edward, mostly because I was scared of possible rejection, but also because I didn't want to push him. We'd been dancing on the precipice of huge life-changing decisions, and I had breached his trust and made him doubt me. This wasn't something he would get over quickly, and I knew that. I was desperate to hear his voice, but the little voice in my head, that wouldn't shut the fuck up, kept telling me that after all of my immature behavior I didn't deserve him. It was unnerving, because on some level I agreed.

Five days after my world imploded, and after another afternoon of complete fuckery, I decided that I should finally call Rosalie back. She said in her message that my truck repairs were done, and she'd offered to drop it off at Charlie's, but before I could dial her number, a thought struck me. I could kill two birds with one stone. I could finalize some paperwork in Seattle, visit Em and Rose, and get my truck, all in one trip. Okay, maybe that was three birds, but whatever. Rose was as honest as they came, and Em was good for getting a guy point-of-view. I could get some fresh air, and a second opinion about my situation with Edward. It seemed like a good idea.

First, I called Charlie, to let him know I'd be coming for a quick visit, then I called Rose at the shop. She was thrilled to hear from me, and while she didn't go into detail, she told me how much I was going to love the work they'd done. She offered to pick me up from the airport, and insisted I come over for dinner after we picked up my truck.

I explained to Alice that I needed to make the trip alone, and she reluctantly agreed, although she was probably secretly relieved to get a break from my moping.

I flew out the next morning, and Rosalie met me at the airport in the afternoon.

The green landscape of Washington made me feel less anxious, and reminded me of my adolescence; Years when Edward and I were still clueless kids who knew everything about lust, and nothing about love, and how it can make you fly and fall at the same time. _Now_ I knew all too well.

Rosalie drove us the short distance to their body shop, and as we parked I saw a beautiful vintage truck parked in front. The body style was the same as mine, but this one was perfection, where mine was bordering on pathetic. I gaped at the pretty truck, and Rose chuckled to herself.

"Let's go inside and say hi to Em. He's _definitely_ going to want to see your face when I give you your keys back."

"Why? Did he crash my truck or something?"

"No, you twit. Just wait a second… Em! Bella's here! Get your ass out to the lot!"

Emmett lumbered out of the garage in greasy gray coveralls, and he leaned down to kiss Rose on the forehead.

I laughed internally at the contrast between their different sizes and their respective attitudes toward each other. The bossy beauty, and the submissive hulk. They were pretty adorable together. It made me miss Edward.

"Hiya, Bella. Ready to see it?"

"See what?" I asked, still not sure what the hell they were talking about.

"Let me explain, and don't freak out, okay?" Em began.

"Given recent events, I would say it would take a lot to freak me out at this point," I assured him.

"Okay, well, when Edward asked us to fix your truck, he didn't limit it to mechanical repairs. He asked us to fix everything."

"Everything? What else was wrong with it?"

"Uh, _everything_?" he joked, chuckling lightly. "The paint, the interior, the sound system, you name it."

"Wait…and you fixed it all? You totally redid my truck?"

"Per Edwards instructions, yes, we did."

The lightbulb came on over my head. "Em? What color did you paint it?"

"Candy apple red, why?"

I gasped loudly, and Rose and Em shared a knowing glance.

The beautiful, amazing, vintage truck parked in front of their shop was _my truck_, and they had made it that way because Edward had wanted to make my truck nicer for me, even though I was hardly ever able to drive it. He had spent what I imagined must have been a great deal of money to do something sweet for me, _just because._

The tears dripped off my chin before I even knew I was crying. It seemed like there was something at every turn that reminded me of how amazing Edward was, and how much of an idiot I was for ruining what we had.

I was blubbering like a fool, with my truck keys still dangling from my fingers.

"Em, she needs drinks," Rosalie stage-whispered to her husband.

"Yeah she does. Lots," Emmett whispered back.

Once my surprise had worn off, and I'd calmed down from my crying fit, I rode with Rose to her in-laws house to pick up the kids, and we all went back to their house to visit. We decided that driving my newly restored truck wasn't a great idea when I was snot-sobbing and shaking, so Rose agreed to drive me back to the shop to get it later.

After a fairly quiet dinner, and getting hit on repeatedly by Owen, who now assumed I was single again, we settled on the back porch, drinks in hand. The baby was happily snoozing in an infant swing beside Rose's chair, and Emmett kept the older kids inside with him, entertaining them with cartoons and snacks, and wrestling them on the couch cushions one at a time. They seemed to love it, and it gave Rose and I a chance to talk.

"So, do you want to tell me the whole story, or do I have to pry the information from you?"

I took a deep breath and she squeezed my arm gently.

"I lied to him about something big. Well, it wasn't exactly a lie, but more like a withholding of information."

"A lie by omission is still a lie Bella. Communication is key."

"Thank you, Dr. Phil. That's exactly what he told me, and I know that, but I still kept it from him because I thought he was being too self-sacrificing, and as a result I tried to please everyone and find some kind of compromise, which I see now was totally self-serving... and then he really yelled at me."

"Edward yelled? Seriously? I don't think I've ever even seen him irked, let alone all out mad. Maybe he's really not Mr. Meek anymore like I thought."

"No, definitely not meek. He got really angry, and he had a right to. I was wrong. It was my fault entirely. I'm not going to try and pass the blame here. I'm a big girl, I can shoulder it."

"So why haven't you called him to try and work things out?"

"Because I'm a coward. I fucked up, and I'm afraid he won't be willing to accept my apology. What if he doesn't want to fix things? What if he can't ever trust me again? What if he's tired of putting up with all of my issues? I sort of have a track record of not being very open, so he would be perfectly justified to assume I would continue to be a fuck-up."

"Did you deliberately keep said information from him for selfish reasons?"

"No! Not at all. I would never hurt him on purpose. I love him too much. What kind of person do you think I am?"

She waved off my question. "Then why didn't you just tell him? The truth, please."

"I… I guess I just didn't want to hurt him. I thought he'd be devastated that we weren't moving to Chicago. He loves his job, and I didn't want to put him in a position where he had to choose between us. Fuck! I just don't know what I'm doing anymore. I want him, all the time, in every way, but it feels selfish to want him like that when it comes with such a cost."

She nodded, silently conveying her attention. Her face was barely illuminated in the glow from the porch light, and her expression looked sad for me.

"Did you ever think that maybe he didn't care what the cost was? Did it occur to you that he would happily give up everything if it meant he could be with you?"

"What the hell Rose? Have you been OD-ing on chick flicks lately or what?"

I was about to ask her exactly whose side she was on, but she smiled gently and spoke.

"No, I just want you to try and see that maybe you've been assuming too much. You _assumed _that he might regret the decision, and then resent you for it, right?"

I nodded lightly.

"I think you should have let him make those decisions for himself, and trusted him to make ones he'd be able to live with. Bella, you're my friend, and I care about you, but I need to say a few things. They might hurt your feelings, but they need to be said. I'm not going to handle you with kid gloves, because I think what you _really_ need is a smack upside the head."

I sat up against the back of the cushioned deck chair and looked her right in the eyes. I nodded my readiness, and awaited her words.

"You had a messed-up upbringing? So what? So do a lot of other people, and most of them still manage to have meaningful relationships. Your mom was a flake, and a poor role model, I get that, but at what point are you going to stop using that as an excuse for all your fears and insecurities?

"You aren't worried about Edward giving up his job, that's bullshit. I know you. You're afraid of him committing to a life with you, then maybe deciding he regrets giving up his former life, and either hating you for it, or wanting out entirely. You told me once, a long time ago, that every time your mom moved a new guy in that it was sunshine and roses for the first six months, then they were gone before the year was up and she was left with nothing but a broken heart. Don't try to tell me that you aren't afraid that will happen with you and Edward. You've been seeing each other for almost six months. I think you're keeping him at a distance because you're terrified that in the end he'll leave you with a broken heart."

My jaw had dropped open at some point, and I knew immediately that she was right. I always carried a nagging fear that he would up and leave me suddenly, and it had always seemed so irrational, but now I knew I was just expecting what I'd seen for so long as the norm to happen to me.

"That's exactly what I thought when he walked out of the hotel room. It was my worst fear come to life, and I didn't want it to be true, but he was pretty clear. He said he was done, and then he left."

"Sweetie, after ten years of pretty much holding a torch for you, do you really think he's just going to walk out on you like that and never look back? I've seen the way he is when he's with you, and that man isn't going to just walk. He has a sweet heart and a kind soul, and I'm pretty sure that you're the sparrow he was searching for."

I did a double take, confused by her last words. She laughed and threw her hands up.

"What? I _do _actually listen when you assholes talk! Anyway, that next night after the reunion, when you asked Edward what his tattoo meant, he said that sparrows mate for life, and once they find their mate, they always come home to them, no matter what. He said he chose it because he was searching for his true love, and I think he found her. He's got it bad for you. He wouldn't just dump you like that."

"Really? So, you don't think he was ending things with me?" I asked.

"No, I don't." She answered. "I think he looks at you like you're all he wants…forever."

I was disbelieving, because I didn't have the ability to see us from the outside. I knew how amazing it felt when he looked at me with adoration in his eyes, but to hear it described that way by an outside party both thrilled and broke me.

I wanted him forever too, but the fact remained that he _had _looked at me that way. Past tense. I had no idea if he would ever look at me the same way again.

But if Rose was right, and he hadn't really broken up with me by leaving, then I needed to find a way to fix the damage I'd done, if it was even fixable at all.

*

Rose dropped me off back at the body shop late in the evening, and I thanked her profusely for everything. The truck, dinner, and mostly the swift kick in the ass I'd needed. She handed me my keys and hugged me, making me promise to call her and keep her posted on the Edward situation.

I was about to pull away from the curb, when Rose ran up and knocked on the window, looking apologetic.

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Before you get on the road, you need to look in the glove compartment. When Edward brought us your truck, he left a little something for you, and asked that we give it to you whenever we give you your truck back. He wasn't sure he'd be able to be here when we did."

I nodded, curious about what she meant. She walked back to her car, and I leaned over and popped open the glove box. A small white envelope lay inside, my name written on the outside in Edward's handwriting.

I opened the envelope, and in it was a note, written on plain white paper.

_Bella, _

_I did this for you because I knew it would make you happy. I would give anything just to make you smile, and I wanted to show you how much you've always meant to me, even back when you were the shy new girl with a jalopy of a truck. I wish I could give you the world, but hopefully you'll settle for this phoenix that has risen from the ashes. _

_Love, _

_E_

Once again, his thoughtfulness was drawing big fat tears from my eyes, and I cried quietly to myself the whole way to Charlie's house.

I was expecting him to be asleep when I arrived, but when I parked in the driveway I could see the flickering light of the TV in the living room window. I swiped at my eyes, hoping they didn't look too red, and I walked in without knocking, because I knew Charlie wouldn't mind. I shut the door quietly incase he'd fallen asleep on the couch.

"Bells? Is that you?" his voice called from the living room.

"Yeah, Dad. It's me."

He'd waited up for me, and it was sweet, but it made me wonder.

"Can you come sit in here with me for a minute before you go up to bed?"

I walked into the living room and sat on the sofa across from his chair. Everything still looked exactly like it did when I'd been living with him.

"Alice called me. She told me to ask you about you and Edward, and she sounded upset. Is there something I need to know? Am I gonna be a grandpa or something?"

I snorted at the thought, but shook my head, partly mortified, because Charlie always had a way of making me feel like I was a kid again, blushing at the birds and the bees.

"No, Dad. It's nothing like that. We're just…in the middle of a rough patch." I really didn't want to tell him I might have gotten dumped, or discuss all the ugly details with him. He would be ashamed of the way I'd acted.

"Rough patch? Alice called me and insisted that I try to talk to you about this because of a rough patch? You're not telling me the whole truth, Bella."

Charlie had always been the one person who consistently called me out on my bullshit, and his tone told me that he would know if I tried to dance around the issue. Alice knew that, and that must have been why she called him. She wanted him to put me in my place.

I took a deep breath and told him everything. I told him about how serious Edward and I had gotten, how the long-distance issue was wearing on us. I explained that I'd lied and broken my promise to him and that we'd fought about it. I cried when I told him how Edward had left me, and I admitted that it had been all my fault. I spilled my guts to my father, and I told him how ashamed and guilty I felt.

His face remained unchanged, but he nodded as he listened. The only visible reaction I got was his hands clenching when I cried about Edward walking out.

When I finally finished, he looked down at the floor and started fidgeting with his hands. Charlie never fidgeted. Something was up.

"Bells, I know we don't talk much about your mom, or what happened between us, but there are a few things I think you should know."

"Like what?" I asked, my curiosity piqued. Charlie wasn't a big talker, so he had to have something important to say.

"Do you know the actual reason that your mother left me?" he inquired, locking eyes with me.

"Because she was a flake, and she couldn't be in one place for too long without getting bored?" I guessed.

"No, Bella. Yes, your mother can be flighty, and her attention does wander, but she left because of _me. _She left me because I was doing the same things to her that you're doing to Edward. Clamming up, shutting people out, stewing in your problems alone, not being honest…"

My mouth dropped open in shock and I waited for him to continue.

"I've seen the way that boy - well, I guess he's a man now – looks at you. I can't sit here and watch you ruin a chance at happiness by acting like you have been. When someone loves you, they want to be allowed inside your _world_, not just your arms. I shut your mom out of my world, and she left me. He may have been wrong to walk out like that, but you were wrong too, for not talking to him in the first place. I know you love him. I can see it in your eyes. Work it out, Bells, and try to get him back if that's what you want. I don't think you guys are beyond repair, you just have to go into it willing to _let him in_. My greatest mistake was letting your mother leave, and not trying to stop her. Don't repeat my mistakes, Bella. He's a good kid, and he seems to treat you right. Most importantly, you love him. I believe that what you two have is worth fighting for."

He stood up and stretched, and kissed me on top of the head, mumbling a quiet "_I'm glad you came, kiddo_" before leaving me alone in the living room and heading up to bed.

_When the fuck did Charlie become so all-knowing and wise? _

The answer was easy. He always had been, I'd just never asked before.

He was right, though. I had let Edward into my heart and my bed, but I'd never really let him into my mind. I was usually content to bask in the lovely glow of our visits, and spare him the boring stuff, but it's everything, _including the boring stuff_, that make up a life together.

I finally could see and accept what I wanted, what I'd be willing to fight for, and the realization brought me the first feeling of peace I'd had since Edward walked out on me. It was an insane notion to think I could ever be happy without him in the long run. I wanted a life _together _with him, and even if he didn't want me anymore, I felt better finally taking a step away from my past and into my future.

* * *

**A/N: This chapter is brought to you by Kleenex tissues, No Use for a Name's **_**Chasing Rainbows**_**, and Snozzberryfaery who has at least one gray hair now from stressing over this chapter. If you think it hurts to read it, imagine what it feels like to write it. Please don't throw things at her, she's fragile. **

**If you like Reunion, please take a moment to check out a few of our individual endeavors:**

**SnozzberryFaery has entered a one-shot called **_**Release Me**_**, in the Googleward Challenge. It has shy Nerdward and confident Bella. Curious? You can check it out here: http://www . fanfiction . net/s/5410055/1/Release_Me. Voting started November 23rd and ends the 28th Go here to vote: http://www . fanfiction . net/u/1980745/GOOGLEWARD_CHALLENGE**

**pkitten21 has also entered a one-shot in the Write What You Know Contest. This contest is anonymous, so we can't tell you which one is hers…but you can check out all of the submissions here (voting started on November 14****th**** and is still going on): http://community . livejournal . com/writeyouknow/ And to vote, go here: http://community . livejournal . com/writeyouknow/ **


	24. Sometimes

**A/N: We are total h00rs (you already knew that of course) and we put together a fun little Cafe Press store full of everything you need to display your NerdGasms proudly. T-shirts, hoodies, cups, stickers, mouse pads (all real nerds need a personalized one), hell there are even thongs over there. They all have the poindexter glasses on them with fun little sayings like, "Pants off. Glasses On.", "Talk Nerdy To Me" "Nerds Do It Better" and "Team Geekward" Very few things actually say Reunion on them, we know there are still quite a few of you (me) in the fanfic closet.**

**Go take a look: http://www(dot)cafepress(dot)com/naughtysparkle**

**Stephenie owns all things Twilight. We just give them problems bigger than a paper cut.

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**Chapter 24 – Sometimes**

**(BPOV)**

I sat in Charlie's worn recliner, looking around the small living room that seemed to have been frozen in time — well, except for the large plasma TV of course. My senior picture hung near the front door, and as I studied my younger face I was hit with the realization that it wasn't just the living room was that was frozen in time, I was too.

I was still the same scared, insecure girl that hid behind her problems and made excuses. I loved Edward, with every fiber of my being, but I always seemed to find some way to keep us from being together, even though I wanted to be with him. Kind of like what Charlie had said, I'd never let him into my world completely. If I was going to be honest with myself, I had been doing that for as long as I could remember.

* * *

"_Earth to Bella."_

"_Huh?" I shook my head slightly as Edward's ink stained fingers waved in front of my face._

"_That English paper is that interesting?" Edward asked as he stood up from the kitchen table stretching his long arms over his head. His shirt rode up slightly and I could see just the smallest sliver of what looked like the waistband to his underwear I snapped my eyes back to paper in front of me, hoping Edward hadn't caught me starting at him._

"_Don't even get me started about this stupid paper. I think it should be against the law for them to make us read Romeo and Juliet in school. I mean, it's supposed to be this great love story, but really it's just two people throwing their lives away. I'm not sure if that's the best message to be sending to the impressionable youth of America."_

"_I don't think I've ever heard anyone hate Romeo and Juliet quite as much as you," Edward laughed trying to lighten the mood._

_I noticed my fists were clenched and tried to relax so Edward wouldn't think I was a complete weirdo._

"_Bella, you know you can talk to me about anything, right?"_

_I almost laughed to think Edward wouldn't notice me acting weird, since he probably knew me better than anyone else. _

"_I don't really buy into the whole romance thing so much. I think in the end someone is always left hurt, if not both of them."_

_I decided right then I wanted to tell Edward everything about my mom and why I had moved to Forks. I filled in the details and added to the little bit he already knew. He listened to everything I had to say, and never pushed me or judged me at all. It felt good to get it off my chest, and the entire time I was telling him everything I couldn't think of a single person I would have rather talked to about it._

_About an hour later Edward started to pack up his books and I noticed it was almost 10:00 p.m., time always seemed to fly by when I was with him. _

_I walked him out through the living room and to the front door. As Edward made his way out onto the stoop he stopped abruptly and angled his body back towards me. My heart started to pound in my chest, as it did any time he was close to me._

_He raked his fingers through his hair and adjusted the strap of his book bag before moving his eyes to meet mine._

"_I was just wondering what you were planning on doing for prom? It's not really my thing, and I'm not sure I will be able to handle listening to Ricky Martin all night long, but you know…" Edward trailed off pushing his glasses back up his nose slightly._

_I couldn't tell what he was asking exactly, but I did know that I wanted to go to Prom with Edward more than anyone else I could imagine, and definitely more than my "boyfriend" Mike. That scared the hell out of me. _

"_Well we're all going in a big group, you should come. Rosalie had talked about driving out to Port Angels for dinner before and then we thought we'd head over to Eric's house after the prom since his parents will be out of town," I babbled incoherently._

"_Big groups aren't really my thing. I guess proms aren't really either," he said trying to sound nonchalant, but something sounded a little off._

_I didn't answer him, because all I wanted to do was ask him if he wanted to go with me, but I was too scared. I was scared that he might say no, of course, but I was also scared that he might say yes. _

_I knew that if love was actually attainable, Edward could be the real thing, not just some guy that didn't expect very much from me nor gave a lot in return. If I opened myself up to him completely God only knew what might happen._

"_Night, Edward," I half whispered as I turned into the house and shut the door as he made his way to his car. Once again I had shut him out because I was too scared to have faith in something so intangible as love._

_

* * *

  
_

I squeezed my eyes shut as the all too familiar sensation of heat filled my eyes. I was surprised I even had any tears left since it seemed like all I'd done this past week was cry. I knew it was futile to try and stop the tears from flowing so I just gave in and allowed them to spill over.

I cried for being so stupid to actually think Edward would just walk out on me. I let my fear takeover, and assumed the worst had come true. I cried because Charlie was completely right. I did keep a part of myself closed off, even though Edward had all but begged me to open up and share all of myself with him. He had been so loving and patient with me, never pushed me, allowing me to dictate the progression of our relationship.

I wanted Edward to have all of me, not just bits and pieces of what I decided to share. I sat up in the chair pulling myself upright and to the edge of my seat. It was as if a light had come on and I knew what I needed to do.

This fight with Edward was one of the hardest things I had ever been through, but maybe it was what I needed to make me realize the problems I needed to fix. Edward deserved better, shit…I deserved better. I did _not_ want to spend the rest of my life always living in fear and hiding behind excuses.

I grabbed my phone off of the table and looked down at my hands, studying the photo on the screen of Edward and me from New Year's Eve. Our smiles were as bright as the lights of Vegas that night. I checked to see if I had missed any calls or texts. After my talk with Charlie last night I had tried to call Edward right away, but could only get his voicemail. I called back a few times and it continued to go straight to the recorded greeting, and I continued to babble away on the phone how sorry I was, and how much I loved and missed him. I looked over the six text messages I'd sent him since last night, checking just to be sure I hadn't missed one from him. Of course I hadn't.

I tried to steady my breathing and prepare myself to make the call that I knew I needed to make. I was ready to move forward with Edward, life without him was not an option, and now it was time for me to take the first step to make things right.

My fingers shook slightly as I dialed the number, and I could feel my throat tighten and heat begin to prickle at the back of my neck as my anxiety set in. I closed my eyes and took another deep breath, trying to calm my fears. I focused on the sound of the phone ringing in my ear, knowing that if I wanted Edward back I had to do this.

"Hello?"

"Hi Mom."

"Bella?" Renee asked with a mixture of confusion and excitement. "Oh baby, how are you? I haven't heard from you since Labor Day when you came to visit."

"I know, I'm sorry, things have just been so crazy with our new line. We're even expanding, and we'll be opening up a boutique in Seattle soon."

"Don't apologize. You're doing exactly what you should be."

I laughed awkwardly, not really accustomed to talking to my mom about my work.

"Actually, I was wondering if it'd be OK with you if I came to Jacksonville. I wanted to talk to you about some things."

"Is everything alright?" She asked, her voice quickly filling with panic.

"Yes, everything is alri– well, actually, no it isn't. That's why I want to talk to you. I need to try and make it right." I gripped the phone tighter in my hand, knowing that if I wasn't completely honest, and didn't commit to this fully, then there was no way I was going to be able to give Edward what he deserved.

"Umm, OK, honey whatever you need."

"I have a ton of miles racked up from all the traveling I've been doing, so I'm going to check and see how quickly I can get a flight out there to you. I'll call you back with all the details," I rattled off launching into task mode now that I had my goal laid out in front of me.

Renee and I wrapped up our conversation and I already had my laptop up looking for a flight out to Jacksonville. It was exactly what I needed: planning, lists, and itineraries. For the first time in a week it felt like I could see a light at the end of the tunnel, and for once I was the one leading myself to it.

By late afternoon the next day my cab was pulling up in front of the yellow stuccoed home of my Mom and Phil. I was already anxious just seeing her house, so I knew I needed to calm down. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and hit Edward's number, waiting for the voicemail to inevitably pick up.

"Hi, I'm just sitting outside my mom's house, and I'm so nervous to go in and talk to her. I completely understand that you aren't taking my calls and know I deserve that, but I just needed to hear your voice, even if it's just a recording, before I go in there." I hit the end call button and took a nice deep breath.

Renee had wanted to pick me up from the airport, but I wanted to make sure I was calm and ready to talk to her so I begged off her offers and took a cab instead.

She was standing on the porch waiting by the time I'd paid the driver and retrieved my bags out of the trunk. She seemed excited to see me, but I could tell I must have freaked her out a little on the phone. She grabbed me in a hug once I was close enough to her, and told me how glad she was that I'd come.

"You want to go in and put your stuff down, maybe relax for a little bit? I can make you some hot chocolate with extra marshmallows, just how you like it."

I laughed at the memory of steaming cups of hot chocolate with a layer of marshmallows so thick you couldn't even tell what was under them. It almost seemed like I'd been so caught up on the negative things from my childhood, that I had forgotten about the good things.

"Yeah, that actually sounds like a great idea. I am pretty tired."

Renee walked me back to the guest room and I noted that she made an effort to make my bed up, and had fresh towels too. The last couple of times I had come to visit her she'd always seemed too scatterbrained to even remember I was coming. She fluttered around the room for a few minutes before finally telling me to lie down and shut the door behind her.

I kicked off my shoes and crawled under the floral comforter on the bed. I grabbed my phone out of my purse and tapped the compose message icon. I typed in "EC" and Edward's email address filled in automatically for me. I made the subject the date and time, just as I had with the other 20 or so email drafts that I currently had saved to him.

Even though in the beginning I had been too much of a coward -c_oward, immature, overreactor, stupid, mega bitch…I can keep going if you like- _to call him, I still couldn't make it through the day without "talking" to Edward in some way.

I had been just writing emails to him and saving them, telling him what I was thinking or doing. It was a way to still feel connected to him. There were some emails that were just lyrics to songs that I heard or made me think of him, others were pages and pages of my various versions of 'I'm sorry', but I hoped to be able to share them all with him very soon. I knew I could have just as easily hit send, but I wanted to wait until I had done what I needed to. Edward deserved that much.

I heard a soft knock and the door, and realized I must have fallen asleep, as the sunlight filtering through the curtain was a deep orange. Renee stood at the threshold with a large mug in each hand, one of which had a white fluffy cloud of marshmallows peeking over the rim. I sat up and waved for her to come and join me on the bed.

We both sat on the bed drinking our hot chocolate while she told me all about a new job that Phil might be getting, and how they would have to move to California.

"Yeah, but what are you going to do out there?" I asked feeling my annoyance with her rising back up to the surface.

"I don't know baby, I'll figure something out. I always do."

"Whatever they want…," I muttered under my breath while I sat the cup down on the nightstand.

"What did you say?" Renee asked with a slightly scorned look on her face.

"I'm sorry mom, I shouldn't have said that, but this is actually the reason I did come down here. I've made _so many_ mistakes, and I don't even know what to think anymore. I'm not blaming you, I just need to talk to you about it. I need to just…..get over it."

Renee sat her drink down and rested her back against the headboard, before taking a deep breath. "Ok. I'm ready."

"I guess I should start at the beginning. I talked to Charlie about it, but I would like to know, from you, why you left him."

"Well," she began tentatively and I could tell she was choosing her words very carefully, "your father is a wonderful man. I'm just not sure the two of us were very well suited for each other. You know, he's more of a homebody and enjoys structure and predictability, kind of like someone else I know. Everyone always tells you that opposites attract, but I'm not sure they were referring to polar opposites."

I could tell she was holding back, not wanting to say anything bad about Charlie, since – well let's face it – we were so much alike.

"Mom, I know you're worried about being mean and saying anything bad, but I really would like for us to be perfectly honest. Is that the only reason you had to leave?"

She looked out the window and I could see the pain she still carried with her. "I adored your father, really I did, and he adored me…I'm sure of that. I brought him out of his shell a little, and he kept me anchored somewhere near the ground. Though, as much as he loved me, it was like he couldn't love me completely. I don't think he even realized it. Does that make sense?"

"More than you know," I replied quietly while I clutched a pillow to my chest to try and ease the ache that had seemed to have taken up camp there.

"Well, there are only so many times you can ask someone to talk to you, or tell you what they are thinking or what is bothering them. When they keep holding back, you just get bitter and tired of it. Like for example, your dad didn't have a good relationship with his father, and every year around father's day he would pull back even more, almost to the point that he hardly spoke to me at all. Every time I would ask him to tell me what was wrong, or about his dad and what had happened, he would just tell me he didn't want to talk about it.

"You should be able to share things with the person you love. Slowly it just made me think maybe he didn't love me, or I was doing something wrong. I had you when I was pretty young, so when you were three I decided to go to the community college. I went two nights a week and started to see your dad less and less. Two years later, after I graduated, I realized we could go days without talking and it didn't really seem to bother either of us. That's when I knew things were really bad. It was almost like he had shut himself off from me and I'd stopped caring.

"A month after graduation I told him I was leaving. God, Bella, it was awful. Just remembering the look on his face when I told him can still bring me to tears today, but he never asked me to stay, he just said he was _sorry_. Baby, I swear to you, I would have stayed if he would have asked me to, it just made me feel like he didn't want me."

I swallowed thickly trying to push the lump down in my throat. I needed to ask the rest of my questions, I needed to do this for me, Edward, and Renee.

"Why did you become so…different when you left? It was like you went from having a mind of your own with goals and dreams to a woman who had no identity unless you were attached to a man. I can remember us just moving from one of your boyfriend's houses to another, and it was so scary at times. I didn't feel like I knew what was going to happen tomorrow and it just seemed like you poured every bit of yourself into a guy and then he would just walk out and you'd be right back at square one. At first it hurt me to see you like that, and then by the end it just made me angry, mostly at you."

"Oh, Bella, I'm so sorry," she whimpered at she reached out for my hand. "I don't really have an excuse for that. I was such a mess after I left your dad. It was almost like I felt I must have done everything wrong with him to cause him to stop loving me, that I decided I needed to try it another way. I thought if I threw myself into a relationship maybe that was the answer. I questioned myself so many times about going back to school thinking that maybe that was the reason for him to push me away even further.

"It all started off innocently enough, the first couple of boyfriends I had after the divorce were nice enough and I would make small concessions and give up things like hobbies, but when they didn't work out I figured I needed to give more. So in the end I think I lost who I was all together, and needed them to tell me or make me feel like I _was_ something. Aside from your father and Phil, I don't think I've always made the best choices where men are concerned. Bella, can I be perfectly honest with you about something?"

I nodded my head, bracing myself for whatever it was she about to tell me.

"When you packed up your stuff and moved away to Forks… I was secretly relieved I think. Not that you were leaving me of course, that just about tore me apart, but that you could see the mistakes that I was making and were strong enough to make a change. At the time I wasn't strong enough, and I can never say I'm sorry enough for that baby." Renee dropped my hand from hers and covered her face as deep sobs broke free from her chest.

I placed my hand on her back and tried to calm her crying. In all the years with my mother I had never seen her cry like this. "Mom, I need to apologize to you too. I have blamed you for so long for just about any and everything I could. I blamed you for the divorce, and pretty much any relationship issue I've ever had. I've tried to use you as an excuse, and I'm sorry."

We both sat there hugging for a few minutes the tears flowing freely from our cheeks as we took turns trying to console the other. When we had finally calmed down and wiped our eyes she gave me one last tight squeeze before pulling her body away from mine and looking me directly into my bloodshot eyes.

"OK, you had your turn to ask the questions, now it's mine. When you called yesterday you said everything wasn't alright. As glad as I am that we have finally had this talk, I think something might have been the catalyst for it, and I would really like to know what it was."

I grabbed my phone off of the night stand and pressed the small button at the bottom to show my wallpaper. "_He_ was the reason," I choked at my use of the past tense hoping with every fiber in my body that wasn't all we were…the past. Renee took the small black rectangular piece of technology out of my hand that housed so many things of mine and Edward's relationship; pictures, songs, videos, even all of the letters I'd been writing and saving to him since the night I waited at the airport in Boston.

"You love him."

I nodded even though she said it as a statement and not a question. It was almost as if I was affirming it to the universe that I did love him and wanted everyone to know it.

"Will you tell me about him?" she asked, smiling at me sympathetically and handing me the phone back.

I had never told her anything about a guy, never a boy I had a crush on, not Mike, and certainly not Edward. I closed my eyes trying to think where I should start, what was there to say about him. Do I start from seven months ago or ten years ago?

_Fuck Bella, you are so dumb sometimes. Is it really even a question, you knew you were his the first day you met him. Why do you think you have been running and pushing as hard as you have?_

"Well, it was my second day at Forks High…" I started.

I told her everything. I recounted the first time I met him in Biology and felt the immediate connection to him. I told her all the stories of our time spent studying and talking, all the lost opportunities. When I got to how I'd chickened out at graduation she patted my hand as she shook her head. I worked my way through the 10 years I'd spent away from Edward, and told her how I'd still always thought about him.

Renee was giddy like a school girl when I finally got to the ten year reunion weekend. I gave her most of the story, leaving out the parts that included defiling kitchen tables, play houses, guest beds and photo booths, of course. As I told her about the conversation Edward and I had at the airport, and how I had pretty much stopped him dead in his tracks, I watched her face fall in sadness.

All the surprise visits, do over dates, holidays, even the 'I love yous', I told her about it all. The part that hurt the most as I painted the picture of mine and Edward's relationship for her was how much I had held him at arm's length the entire time and never really admitted to myself how selfish I was being. I was always worried about not losing myself, or letting him give up something, but really I was just scared, and tried to hide behind my excuses.

We must have talked for hours, and I had Renee's attention for every second of it. Even when Phil came in from work he stopped in the room to say hello, and she only looked away long enough to let him kiss her on the cheek. By the time I was done I was both physically and emotionally spent. The past week had been nothing but tears and emotions, and acceptance of many truths that hurt to admit.

"Bella, I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am to have contributed to all of this hurt and pain." She raised her finger for me to wait as I started to cut her off. "But there is just one thing I really don't understand. You have seen some of the jerks I've dated, you've even seen a wonderful man who just can't open himself up, so how could you let someone who is so loving and supportive walk out like that? How could you push him away? I know I was in no way a good role model when it came to relationships, and I understand why you felt you had to have your own life and didn't want to be reliant on a man. But from what you've told me about Edward, he's wanted to be your partner not your leader. He is the one offering to give up things for you, because he loves you."

"I know! I've messed this whole thing up, and now I'm afraid I've lost him and I have no idea what to do."

"Remember what I told you about when I left your dad, all it would have taken was for him to ask me not to go. Sometimes you have to fight for the things that are the most important to you."

I shook my head in agreement with her and felt the pain once again from missing Edward. I had no reason to expect him to return my calls or texts after the way I acted but I just wanted to hear his voice so much it hurt.

"I think I am going to try and call Edward again and then go to bed."

"Of course, let me know if you need anything."

We said our good nights and after two surprisingly bear-like hugs Renee shut off my lights and closed the door behind her. I was left with nothing but my thoughts, regrets, and my phone. I dialed Edward's number again and was not at all surprised when his voicemail picked up.

"I'm not sure if you can't answer, or if you just don't want to talk to me, which at this point I understand if you don't, but I _really_ want to talk to you. I'm sorry I left…actually I'm sorry for everything. Please call me. I love you."

I fell asleep clutching my pillow, imagining Edward was there with me. I wasn't sure if I was going crazy, but at that point I no longer cared. Anything that eased the pain I felt I would gladly do.

I woke the next day to the sound of pots and pans rattling around in the kitchen. I quickly dressed and went to see what was going on.

"Oh sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. I was going to try and make you some breakfast, but, well, you know I'm not really much of a cook."

"It's okay, I needed to get up anyway, my flight leaves around one. Can I help?"

"No. You're supposed to be sitting and watching me cook." She laughed as she tried to figure out how to turn on the waffle iron.

"Please, I actually really enjoy cooking. I usually bake when I'm upset to clear my mind."

"Sure," she answered, handing me the spatula.

Twenty minutes later we were seated in front of waffles with bananas and strawberries, and cheesy scrambled eggs.

"God, these are amazing! Where did you learn to cook like this? Don't tell me your dad. That man thought using a microwave was gourmet."

"Actually I learned how to cook from Esme, Edward's mom."

"That's nice you are so close," Renee said with the slightest hint of regret in her voice.

We talked for the rest of the morning, and while I threw the few clothes I had with me into my bag. This time I agreed to let her drive me to the airport so we could have a little more time to spend together. By no means was our relationship full of rainbows and sunshine, but for the first time since I could remember, we actually had a _relationship_.

"Bella, I love you. I know I haven't always shown it, but I do. I know you've asked me to stop saying I'm sorry, but I just wanted to tell you again how sorry I am for skewing your outlook on relationships and men in general. You aren't making the mistakes I made just by letting Edward in, because he respects you and wants to be in this with you."

"Thank you," I whispered into her shoulder as she hugged me again. "I love you too."

As soon as I landed in Miami I turned my phone back on, to check for any missed calls or texts from Edward. _Nothing_. The ache in my chest was getting worse with every passing moment I didn't hear from him. I knew it wasn't right to push since I had ultimately been the one who walked out, even if it was a misunderstanding, but I also wanted him to know how sorry I was and how much I wanted to make this right.

I needed to feel closer to him, so as soon as the cab driver dropped me in front of the condo, I slipped into the garage hoping Alice wasn't around. I had so much to tell her, but I just needed to tell Edward everything first.

I drove past the Viceroy Hotel first, remembering the night Edward had surprised me during the debut of our fall fashion line. Just knowing we had both been there together lessened my pain just a little.

I continued driving south, and as I made my way through the large gates at Matheson Hammock Park I instantly felt more at ease. I parked my car and walked over to the beach and found that the bench Edward and I had eaten our breakfast on that morning was empty. I sat on the left side of the bench, only because that was where he had sat that morning we fed each other while we laughed and kissed. I pulled out my phone and took a photo of the ocean view from the bench and texted it to Edward.

_The view isn't nearly as beautiful if I don't have you to share it with. I miss you. I need you. I love you._

I had resigned myself to the fact that phone calls and text messages were not going to fix what had happened, especially after a week. I began writing Edward an email that told him everything. I told him about Rose, Charlie, and Renee. I told him how stupid and immature I'd been. I apologized for everything, and explained that I knew he deserved better and that's what I was trying to do…become better. I also told him I wasn't doing all of this for him, but he did make me want to be a better person, more loving and open so I could give back to him all that he gives to me. I owned up to the mistakes and excuses I'd been using. I told him it didn't matter where we were or what we were doing because as long as we were together I'd be happy. If he wanted to leave his job, so be it, otherwise we would work something out. By the time I was finished writing the only lights were from the Miami skyline.

I went to hit send, but stopped.

This week had been a journey and I hadn't been able to tell him about any of it so far. Edward was my best friend, as much as he was anything else, and it was important for him to know that I had thought of him every second after I walked out of the hotel room in Boston. I went back into my draft file and began sending all the emails to him starting from the first one I'd written with tear filled eyes in the airport in Boston.

I watched as the white line moved across the screen indicating the email was being sent for all 28 emails. When I came to the last one, the one I had just spent the past two hours writing, I whispered my love for Edward before hitting send.

I sat on the bench a few more minutes before dialing Edward's phone again, and waited for his voicemail to pick up.

"Edward, I wanted you to know that I just sent you 29 emails filled with everything and everywhere I've been and done the past 7 days. It's all there, all the mistakes, all the changes I need to make, but more importantly all the love I have for you. I want to let you know that I will be waiting for you if and when you're ready. Just please know that I'm not going to give up that easily ever again. I love you."

I hit the end call button and did the only thing I could do.

Wait.

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**A/N: This chapter is brought to you by Dysfunctional Families, Britney Spears's **_**Sometimes **_**(don't judge us we HATED using it, but the crazy head shaving bitch has a song that was pretty much our Bella. SORRY), and TFX who may or may not have cried at her desk at work while trying to write this chapter *hint I did*. Some people have said that Bella should have just gotten over all of her issues with Renee a long time ago, but sometimes you have forgive them for hurting you before you can move on......or so my therapist has told me. :)**

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	25. Untitled

**A/N: Sorry for the delay on this update, with the holidays and kids…and well LIFE it just couldn't be avoided this time. **

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**Chapter 25 – Untitled**

**(EPOV)**

_I opened the door and walked towards the bed. My heart was pounding so hard I thought my chest might explode. Since I had closed the drapes earlier, and the only light was coming from the bathroom door I couldn't see anything. I closed my eyes, partially to try and calm myself but also to allow my sight to adjust to the level of darkness in the room._

_I counted to twenty, took two deep breaths, and slowly opened my eyes. **She's not there.**_

_My throat closed off and I started to choke. I turned on the nearest lamp and looked at the empty bed. It was still perfectly made._

**_Oh fuck….shit…_**_My legs were shaking so much I couldn't stand anymore. I collapsed on the edge of the bed. I looked around for her suitcase, knowing it wouldn't be there._

_I rubbed my hand over my chest trying to ease the ache and the tightness as I gasped for air. It felt like my chest had cracked open, leaving me my heart vulnerable and broken, and my mind struggled to wrap around the reality that was so obvious all around me._

**_She left._**

* * *

_She left…_

I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees, and pressed my face into my hands. I didn't know how long I'd been staring at the wall in front of me. It could have been minutes, hours, or a matter of seconds. It didn't matter, she'd left.

She'd walked out and left me here.

_No…No! This isn't happening. She wouldn't do this. She wouldn't leave._

After all the years we'd spent apart, unable to find happiness with anyone else, and all that we'd been through the past couple of months she couldn't have just left me. I ran my fingers through my hair, tugging on it in frustration.

_Alice. She'd go to Alice._

Hope fueled my movements. I grabbed my key card and ran to the elevator. I impatiently pushed the call button, as if doing so would somehow make it move faster, but it was still taking too long, so I jogged to the other end of the hall and raced up the stairwell to Alice and Jasper's floor.

I started pounding on their door as soon as I reached it, not even stopping to catch my breath. I knew it was early, and I was probably waking up the other guests, but I didn't care. I had to find her.

Jasper opened the door, and I tried to ignore the fact that he only had a sheet wrapped around his waist. "What the fuck Edward? Do you know what time it is?"

"No, and I don't really care. I need to talk to Bella."

"Then go back to your room bro, and let me get some sleep." He started to close the door.

I slapped my hand on the door in an effort to block him. "I know she's in there, and I know she's upset, but you have to let me talk to her."

"Edward, she's not here," he said slowly, clearly enunciating each word.

"She has to be…" I pleaded. "She wouldn't leave me."

Realization finally dawned through his sleep-induced haze. He grabbed my arm and pulled me into the room. "Alice? Call Bella," he said over his shoulder into the darkened room, then he turned back to me. "What happened, Edward?"

"She wouldn't leave me." I whispered my mantra again.

"She's not answering," I heard Alice's voice echo from the dark. "What's going on Jasper?"

"I'm not sure. He keeps saying she wouldn't leave him. I think they had an argument about Seattle." He turned and looked at me, but I no longer paid attention to what was being said. My heart thudded heavily creating a dull ache that spread throughout my body and finally settled in my stomach. The only thing I could concentrate on was the fact that Bella had actually left me. _She left me…_

Reality, and my awareness of it, started to feel dull and muted. There was a low thumping in my ears, and it drowned out almost all sound. I thought I could hear voices around me that sounded like my brother and Alice, but I could no longer understand what they said and I didn't really care.

_She left me…_

I turned and opened the door barely aware of my actions, and made my way to the stairwell. If I could just get back to _our_ room…_my_ room.

As soon as I entered the room I saw my phone where I'd left it on the end of the bed. I ran to it, desperate to see if she'd called. I immediately saw there was no light flashing to alert me of any new messages, but I grabbed it anyway hoping that there would still be something there when I scrolled through the menus. _Nothing._

My disbelief quickly shifted to anger. _She really left me. She just walked out and fucking left me._

All of my feelings from the past few hours suddenly overwhelmed me all at once. I spewed forth a venomous growl as I hurled my phone at the wall. I fell to my knees dazed by the sudden release of emotion. I'd never felt so completely helpless and drained. I couldn't have cried if I tried, and all I was left with were my thoughts. I could only think of us, and how everything I'd wanted and fought for was gone.

After everything I'd said tonight she'd just walked out on me without a word. I shouldn't have been surprised since that was what our argument had been about in the first place. Everything I'd done over the past months to reassure her apparently meant nothing. I couldn't think of anything else I could have done…No, I _knew_ there wasn't anything else I could have done.

The ache in my chest increased, and I leaned back against the bed as I sat on the floor. I felt so betrayed. I'd trusted in our love and she'd just thrown it aside…like it meant nothing. Like _I_ was nothing…or at least that's the message I received.

_I wasn't even worth the time it took to say goodbye._

I was pulled out of my contemplations by someone pounding on my door.

"Edward?" I heard a familiar voice muffled by the door. "Are you okay?"

I sighed. My strength had left me. I was too tired to open the door, and I didn't want the company anyway.

"Edward? It's Jasper. Let me in Bro."

He pounded on the door a few more times._ Just go away. Let me be…_

"Please, Edward." I could hear him fiddling with the handle on the door as if he could somehow force it open. "You gotta let me in. Mom will kick my ass if she finds out I'm not in there taking care of you."

_Try again fucker. Mom doesn't scare me…not anymore. I already feel like I'm in hell._

"I'll call her too. Don't think I won't."

I heard more pounding, and tipped my head back against the edge of the bed and closed my eyes.

"Shit…_Come on._ I'm risking a serious ass-kicking here!"

The pounding finally stopped, and I was grateful. I just wanted silence, but I wasn't that lucky. I could hear muffled voices outside. Jasper was talking to someone…

I couldn't stop myself. I gathered every ounce of strength I had to make it to the door, and I opened it hoping it was Alice with news of Bella. I hated myself for it. I hated myself for getting my hopes up when I could see none…

_Just Jasper... _Whoever he'd been talking to was gone. He pushed past me pulling the door shut behind him and pulled me back into the room.

"Who were you talking to? Was it Alice? Did she find Bella," I rasped.

"No, it wasn't Alice," he chuckled ruefully. "This old couple passed me on their way down to breakfast. They thought I was having a spat with my lover. The old lady told me not to give up, and make sure I apologized properly to my man before he took me back."

On any other day the idea that I was Jasper's lover would have made me laugh. Not today. When he saw his attempt at humor fall flat, he changed tactics. "Edward, I know this seems rough right now, but we're going to figure this out. She loves you. You know that."

"Do I? She has a funny way of showing it."

"I know it seems that way, but until we hear from her I need you to listen to me." He waited until I nodded my head before he continued. "Alice is going to call me as soon as she gets a hold of her, and I'm staying here with you. Why don't you go take a shower and then try to get some rest. Do you want anything to eat?"

"No. No food." Food was completely unappealing. I didn't have it in me to argue about the shower, it was just easier at this point to do as I was told. I had nothing left anyway. I was emotionally spent, what little was left had settled into a nauseous knot in my stomach.

I turned on the shower and stepped in, everything felt numb. The hot water slid over my body, and I leaned into it desperately trying to ease the pain and nausea I felt, but it was no use. After a few minutes I shut the water off and toweled myself dry. I put my sleep pants and t-shirt back on since I hadn't gotten anything clean out of my suitcase and wandered back out to the main room.

Jasper was on the phone so I just sat down on the end of the bed and cradled my head in my hands. After a few minutes he finally turned to me.

"That was Alice." I didn't even bother to look up at him "She finally got a call from Bella. She went back to Miami, and Alice is on her way there now."

"Did she say why she left?" The knot in my stomach twisted as I waited for him to answer. _God, I'm a fucking glutton for punishment._

"No. She said she would explain everything when Alice gets there."

I nodded, and scooted further back on the bed.

"Do you want me to see if I can change our tickets? We could leave-"

"No," I cut him off. I just wanted to sleep. There was no rush to get home since there was no Bella waiting for me there, and she obviously hadn't wanted me to follow her to Miami.

"Are you going to tell me what happened? I can't help you fix this if you don't tell me everything."

"Help _me_ fix it? If you want to help someone fix it maybe you should fly to Miami with Alice. I'm not the one who fucked this up."

He sighed and held a hand up in supplication. "I'm sorry. I'm in the dark here. Can you at least tell me what the fuck is going on?"

"No. I can't talk about this right now." I closed my eyes. _I don't know if it can be fixed…and right now I'm not sure if I'd want to try even if you could…_I couldn't face him or anyone right now, so I rolled away from him and hoped sleep would give me some sort of relief.

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The silence in my apartment was killing me. Before Bella and I had found our way back to each other my apartment had been my haven. It had always been comforting, and I'd never really felt lonely. Now everywhere I looked I was reminded of the few weekends she'd spent there with me, every corner was tainted with her presence. I decided to go back to work instead of taking the rest of the week off, since I had nowhere to go and nothing to do.

I knew I probably looked like shit. I felt like I was grieving…like someone had died. The knot that had formed in my stomach was a relentless reminder of what I'd lost when she walked away from me. I was in a constant state of nausea that I couldn't escape during my waking hours, and there was only so much a clean shave and a freshly pressed suit could do. They may have camouflaged my outward appearance, but nothing could mask the inner turmoil I'd been suffering since Tuesday morning.

Working was the only thing that could somewhat occupy my mind, and I needed the partial break from my personal life that it afforded me. I even planned on working through the weekend, because I needed to get my head back in the game. Thinking of Bella at this point was not going to do me any favors at work, and I needed to concentrate on the report and proposal I was going to make next week.

At this point, I was determined to move ahead with my idea to head up the new non-profit organization my company was starting despite what was going on in my personal life. Professionally I was ready for the change, and although I loved the marketing side of this business, I knew I'd be happier in the new position.

The day flew by while I caught up with the work that had piled up on my desk during my absence. I immersed myself in the mundane tasks of answering correspondence and returning phone calls. By late afternoon I'd been able to focus all of my attention on the non-profit project and started reviewing more patient profiles that had been submitted for consideration when I heard my assistant knock on my office door.

"Come in," I called without glancing up from the file I was reviewing.

"Mr. Cullen? I have your new phone," I heard my assistant say as she approached my desk. "They were able to swap chips from the pieces I gave them so all of the data from your old phone was saved. I've synced your schedule with the updates I made while you were gone, and it has a full charge."

"Thank you, Jane." I looked up and took the new Blackberry she handed me.

"Is there anything else you need before I head out for the weekend, sir?"

"No, have a good weekend Jane. I'll see you Monday morning."

"Thank you, Mr. Cullen."

I scrolled through the phone, and quickly glanced at my schedule changes for the coming week, then checked the messages I'd missed over the last few days. There were a couple of inconsequential messages regarding work that I'd already taken care of, and a couple from my mother, but nothing from _her_.

If it was possible, my heart shriveled even further. I didn't know why it bothered me, or why I even hoped she would have called. After all, if she couldn't be bothered to leave me a note before walking out of my life then she wouldn't bother to call me either.

The fact that it had been two days since she'd left with no explanation stung. It cut to the very center of my being. I didn't understand how she could be so heartless, even if what Jasper had said was true.

None of it made sense to me, not back in Boston - when Jasper had first told me what Alice had found out - and not even now, when I had time to think back on what had been said.

I couldn't get past the flimsy excuse she'd given Alice about thinking that I'd walked out on her first. It was impossible to believe after how close we'd been in high school - and how much more we'd gotten to know each other since the reunion - that she'd think I could ever be capable of doing that to her. She obviously wasn't listening to me that night when I'd told her I needed to get out for a while. I didn't even take anything with me. How could she think I'd left her there, broken-up with her, when I'd left all of my shit in our room? How long did she even wait for me? How could she have been so foolish? _How could I have been so blind…_

I'd just wanted to give us both some time to think so we could finally be on the same page…so we could finally move past the bullshit and make a life together. I thought if I gave her some time to think over what I'd said she would understand how I felt. I never dreamed she'd leave. If I'd known that was a possibility I would have found another way…but she left me regardless.

From Jasper's account of their conversation she'd realized she was wrong about keeping Seattle from me, and instead of making things right she'd just left. She left me there without a word, without a look back, and hadn't called me since – not even when they'd told her I'd only gone out for a walk, that it had been a misunderstanding.

Her actions spoke loud and clear. It was over. There was nothing left to do but get over it and move on with my life…only I'd never be able to get over it. She was it for me, and always would be…the one. I'd given her everything; there was nothing left for anyone else.

I was brought out of my reverie by the soft vibrations of my blackberry. I looked at the screen. _Mom. _She'd probably already talked to Jasper and wanted to badger me for the details of the disaster that was now my life. I was not ready for that. I couldn't talk to her yet. I couldn't talk to anybody about it yet. I just wish they'd leave me alone and let me deal with it in my own way.

I decided to text her back, in an attempt to try and stall the inevitable for a little longer, then I tried to brush my thoughts aside so I could get back to work. The longer I stayed at the office, the less time I had to spend at home in my empty apartment, wallowing in my self-pity. I still couldn't eat. The nausea hadn't gotten any worse, but it had never left. I knew I should eat, but nothing was appetizing. I was quickly becoming accustomed to the constant queasy feeling, and only ate sparingly so that I wouldn't starve myself.

I spent the rest of the weekend the same way. I went in to work early and poured over my files and contacts organizing everything I would need to make the project successful, and went home as late as possible with just enough time to slip into the coma my long hours had earned. I even called my dad at the hospital knowing he would have additional information and contacts that could be useful, that way I could avoid any unpleasant conversations with my mom, and trusted that Dad would not pry. He knew I would come to him if I needed to talk.

I kept my phone silent and avoided any personal calls that came my way, only succumbing to curiosity at the end of each night before leaving the office. I knew that if there was truly an emergency my brother would find me. My voicemail was quickly filling up between Jasper and my mother. I knew I'd have to face the music and call her back soon, and if I didn't get a hold of Jasper he'd just show up unannounced – he'd probably do that anyway.

Late Monday afternoon I finally decided it was time to check the messages my mother had left. They started innocent enough with her inquiring about how our trip went, even though I knew she would have already been informed of the situation by the time she left the first message, and escalated to threats of taking the next flight to Chicago if I didn't call her back.

I sighed and quickly deleted her most recent message. I had clearly pushed the limits if she was threatening to visit, and that I could not possibly deal with - I didn't want to be coddled and I certainly wasn't ready to withstand Mom's special brand of interrogation.

The last thing I needed was my mother arriving on my door-step. She'd make me spill every last thought and feeling I'd had since Boston, and emotionally I could not afford that right now. The only way to save myself more grief was to bite the bullet and call her. I knew all she wanted to do was comfort me, but there was only one woman who could have soothed my broken soul at this point, and she'd made it clear she didn't want the job.

I took a deep breath, hoping I'd be able to handle the onslaught I was about to face, and dialed her number.

"You'd better have a good reason for ignoring my calls, Sir, or so help me…" she answered half-way through the first ring.

"I love you too, Mom." When she didn't answer I knew I had to cut to the chase. "I'm sorry I didn't call you back before now, but my phone was broken and I didn't get the replacement until today-"

"Nice try, but that's bullshit, Edward." The serious tone of her voice and the sound of an unladylike expletive slipping through her usual poise clearly indicated now was not the time to argue. _Mom never swears. Ever._ "Jane is meticulous. She would've gotten a new phone to you by Friday afternoon at the latest. Try again."

"Mom-"

"Don't you dare _Mom_ me, Sir. Cut the crap and talk to me, Edward?"

"Fine," I said defeatedly. "The truth is I just don't want to talk about it. I know you've already gotten the scoop from Jasper, so let's just leave it at that for now."

"Yes, I have spoken to your brother, but Jasper is not you." The line was quiet for a moment before she sighed. "This is way too important to not speak to you personally. I need to know what's-"

"Mom." I tried to interrupt her.

"- going on. You and Bella-"

"Mom." _Why won't she listen to me?_

"- were so happy at Christmas. How could you-"

"MOM!" _I just can't do this right now…_

"- have let this happen."

I pushed the end button before I'd even moved the phone away from my ear. _Why can't she understand that I'm just not ready to talk about this yet…_and then I realized what I'd just done…I'd hung up on my mother. I rubbed my hand over my face and bowed my head in utter horror. I'd never, ever, hung up on my mom. I love her too much for that. I'd never treated her with such blatant disrespect in my life. She might not have been listening to me, but that was no excuse for my behavior. I owed her, big, and I needed to fix this right away.

I didn't have anything important scheduled for the rest of the day, so I had Jane block everything off for the final few hours, and I left the office. I went home and ordered my mother's favorite flowers - to be delivered immediately - from the local florist in Forks, and had them sign the card with one word, _Patience_, and my initials. It was something I knew she'd understand. Then I changed my clothes and went for a long run to try and clear my head before I called her back to grovel for forgiveness. I knew she'd forgive me, she was my mom, and I knew I could count on her love no matter how much of an ass I had been.

I took a shower as soon as I got back and then did my best to settle in for a long conversation.

"Mom," I asked, as soon as she answered.

"Thank you for the flowers, Edward. They're lovely."

"I'm sorry, Mom. I shouldn't have hung up on you like that."

"I know, honey. I'm sorry I pushed. I've just been so worried about you since Jasper called."

"I know. I'm just…I'm having a hard time figuring this out. I don't understand this myself let alone have the clarity to try to explain it to someone else."

"It's okay." She was quiet a moment. "May I ask you a question?"

"Of course, but that doesn't mean I'll answer it." I tried to laugh, but knew it sounded forced.

"Have you talked to her since…" she trailed off. I could tell she was uncertain if she should finish asking what was on her mind.

"No." I tugged on the ends of my hair willing myself to open up to her just this little bit. "Mom, when she left me there she didn't even say goodbye. She just walked out without looking back. She hasn't tried to contact me at all."

"I see…" It sounded like she was going to continue but I interrupted her before she could finish.

"Do you? Because I don't, the only thing I see is that she left me. I don't see anything else clearly at all. I can't get past that she left me."

"Edward, from what Jasper and Alice have told me of the situation, I understand your confusion, and I can see that you still have a lot of things to sort out in your heart and in your mind. But there is something I think you need to consider in all of this."

"Okay." I leaned back on my pillows and waited for the motherly wisdom that I would either ignore completely, or wish she would have kept to herself because I'd be ashamed to admit I was wrong.

"First, try and remember that Bella loves you, even if it's hard to see right now." I was silent, unsure if I wanted her to continue. I didn't think I was particularly ready to contemplate Bella's feelings in all of this, even if that meant I was being selfish. The memories and emotions were still too fresh. _Great, that means I must be in the wrong._

"Once you've remembered how you know she truly feels about you, try to think about what started this mess in the first place. Communication is a two way street. You can call her too."

"Why? Why should I call her when she's made it perfectly clear she doesn't want to talk to me?" I was starting to get angry again. "I can't afford to keep putting myself out there and get nothing in return. It hurts too much."

"I realize that, son, but you need to try and consider this from her perspective. She might not always know how to communicate well, but she has always given you her love. Never doubt that. She may need an indication that you haven't given up on her completely. All it takes is one call or one message to let her know…"

"I'm not sure if I'm ready to do that. I'm not sure if I _can_ do that."

"Alright, I understand that now may not be the right time," she sighed. "Just promise me you'll consider all the possibilities."

"I'll try, but right now I'm kind of in overload. I need more time to sort everything out in my mind."

"Whatever happens, we love you, Edward. We love you both."

"I know, Mom. I love you too."

After I hung up, I immediately turned off my phone. I wasn't in the mood to take any more calls. I couldn't talk to anyone else, it was just too much to handle. I didn't have enough energy to fix myself anything to eat or to even call out for delivery. I was overwhelmed and the conversation had aggravated the lingering nausea. It always got worse when I thought about her. I hoped that I was exhausted enough after the long hours I'd put in over the weekend - and the extremely draining conversation I'd just had with my mother - to just pass out for the few hours of peace I could only get while asleep.

When I got to my office in the morning Jane had a mountain of paperwork that I needed to review and sign, so it wasn't until after lunch that I'd realized I hadn't turned my phone back on from the night before.

As soon as it was powered up I was inundated with chimes, letting me know I had numerous voicemails and texts.

I quickly scrolled through my call log to see if there was anything pressing that I needed to address immediately. There were a couple of work related calls I needed to check out, and then nestled in between my mother's number and my business calls was _her_ number. My breath left my body in a whoosh and left me sputtering for air.

I dropped the phone and put both hands in my hair. I couldn't even think straight. _Why now? It's been a fucking week! Do I even want to know what she has to say? Do I really care? _Questions flew through my mind at light speed. I had no answers to any of them, and I was afraid to find out what they might be.

I picked up the phone and looked at the list of missed calls, and saw that I had already shut my phone off by the time she'd called. Would I have answered it if I would've known? _No. I wasn't ready to talk to her. _

The knot in my stomach doubled in size as I contemplated what this meant. I quickly checked my texts. As I scrolled through my message list anger started to burn. _What could she possibly have to say to me now that she couldn't get the courage to say a week ago? Why contact me now? Wasn't I worth the time it took to send one text when this hell began?_

I couldn't look at it. Not yet, especially not while I was angry.

Just as I was clicking back over to listen to my business messages my phone chirped indicating an incoming text. _Her number? B_y then end of the day I'd briefly entertained the idea of throwing my phone against the wall again, but I didn't want to have to try to explain to Jane why I needed her to get me another new phone less than a week after replacing the last one. I didn't want to explain myself to anybody. Not my mother, not Jasper, and I was certainly in no place to speak to Bella. _Fuck that! _I tapped ignore and continued on to return my business calls.

On Wednesday, I got another voicemail, but I couldn't bring myself to listen to it, but like the others I didn't delete it either. I wasn't ready to hear her voice. Every time I saw her number pop up my heart would clench and then speed up, seeming to beat at an impossible pace. It felt like it was going to beat itself right out of my chest.

By the time I'd been able to get to bed Thursday night I was overwhelmed with not only the texts and voicemails, but a deluge of email notifications.

I couldn't look at them. I felt smothered, like I couldn't breathe. I'd never been more tempted to press delete than at that moment, and yet I couldn't bring myself to dispose of them or read them. It was all just too much.

Friday dawned with the usual morning call from my brother to check in with me. It had become a somewhat comforting ritual since I'd called him over the weekend. He called me every morning to make sure that I was okay, but never actually asked how I was doing or pushed to talk about Bella. He knew I needed space, and didn't try to steer our conversations anywhere I wasn't willing to go.

This morning was only different in that he insisted I meet him for drinks at our favorite bar. He said I needed to get out, just the two of us and a few beers, and I relented, needing to find some way to get away from everything I was trying to ignore. I knew that if I stayed home I would be too tempted to succumb to the messages that shouted my name, and the coward in me jumped at the opportunity to put off the inevitable once again.

I got to The Double Door first and waited for my brother, and the pitcher I'd ordered for us, at the corner booth we favored, and listened to the music piped in through the bar's sound system. I'd only gotten half-way though my first beer when he joined me.

"Sorry I'm late. Alice called just as I was leaving my apartment." He took off his coat and slid in to the seat across from me.

"I've only been here a few minutes." I poured him a beer and handed him the glass. "This is still my first so it won't take you that long to catch up with me."

We sat quietly and sipped our beers for a few minutes just relaxing in the moment "How's your biography coming?"

"Not bad. I was able to finish two more chapters this week. The information I was able to get from the museum in Mississippi during Christmas really helped. I should probably send Alice's sister something as a thank you. If she hadn't gotten knocked up, I wouldn't have been able to spend my holiday researching at the local museum."

"When's your next meeting in L.A. for the documentary?"

"Not until May. I don't really have much scheduled for the next couple of months. I want to finish working on the book and I'm trying to keep my schedule open to help the girls with the move to Seattle." He winced when he mentioned the girls.

"It's okay, Jasper." He nodded in understanding.

"So how did your meeting go regarding the non-profit? Did they agree to let you head it up," he asked. I could tell he was trying to switch to a safer subject.

"Actually it went better than I'd hoped. They accepted the proposal as written with no adendums, and agreed wholeheartedly with allowing me to head it up. They're sorry to lose me in marketing, but they feel I'll be able to make this new program work."

"That's great! Have you told Mom and Dad yet?"

"Yeah, I talked to Dad. He's been helping me gather some contacts and information to help me get the ball rolling. He's really excited. He was going to tell Mom for me."

"So what does this mean for you?"

"Well, it's an obvious pay cut, but not enough that I'd have to move. I'll be working mainly from home to start, so that's a bonus. My assistant Jane agreed to stay working with me. She's really excited about the change. I'm glad she agreed too, I don't know what I'd do without her to keep me organized."

"So you're going to stay here in Chicago then?" He was fishing for information.

Although we hadn't talked about it, I knew that Jasper would be leaving to live with Alice. I had no problem living here alone, but I would miss his friendship.

The new job would give me a lot of leeway business-wise, and I would be able to work from anywhere I wanted. I could stay here, or move back home to live closer to my family. Even considering that, I wasn't sure if I was ready to be that near to herand yet be _without_ her. Everything was too fresh, and now was definitely not the right time to make that hefty of a decision.

"I don't know. It's kind of early to be thinking about that right now since I've only just gotten the board's approval yesterday, and I'm not sure that I'm in the right frame of mind to make an objective decision for a big move." I could hear the opening strains of an old Tonic song start to play amidst the background noise of the bar, and was momentarily distracted. …_If you could only see the way she loves me then maybe you would understand why I feel this way about our love and what I must do…_

"You know that I'm going to move with Alice, right?" He looked down at his beer as he twisted the glass on the napkin.

"I figured that was pretty much a given."

"You know," he paused. _And here it comes…_ "If you'd just swallow a little bit of pride and try to talk to her we could-"

"Damn it!" I slammed my glass down on the table. "You know better than anyone this isn't about my fucking pride."

"Yeah, I do. It's about you tucking your tail between your legs and running away."

"I'm not the one who ran," I growled through clenched teeth. …_Well you got your reasons, and you got your lies…_

"Maybe not at first, but you are now." He set his glass down and looked me straight in the eye. "Every time you ignore her calls and texts that's exactly what you're doing. She's making an effort- that should count for something. Have you bothered to give her the chance to explain?"

"Why should I? She walked out without a word and didn't try and contact me for a week. A fucking _week_ Jasper! Tell me why I should drop everything and listen to her excuses. I'm tired of being her doormat. I'm not going to let her walk all over me anymore. I can't do it. I _won't_ do it." …_Sayin' you love, but you don't, you give your love, but you won't. You're stretching out your arms to something that's just not there…_

"You're not her doormat, Edward, and you know it. She loves you. She made a big fucking mistake. I get that she messed up, I really do, but she didn't do it to hurt you. She did it because she loves you, and you'd know that if you'd take a minute and listen to what she has to say the way you wanted her to listen to you." _…__Seems the road less traveled shows happiness unraveled, and you got to take a little dirt to keep what you love…_

"I think you've had a few too many chats with Mom lately." I pulled out my wallet and threw a few bills down onto the table. "Next time you talk, keep me out of it. Beer's on me." …_Sayin' you love, but you don't, you give your love, but you won't…_

I could hear him call after me as I walked away, but I was done with the conversation. I shouldn't have let his words get to me, but my carefully placed shields had already started crumbling and I had to get out before I had nothing left to protect the remaining pieces of my heart.

…_If you could only see the way she loves me, then maybe you would understand why I feel this way about our love, and what I must do. If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says…_

The closing notes of the song echoed through my head delivering the final jab as the door of the bar clicked shut behind me. …_When she says she loves me…_

_Fucking Tonic…_

_

* * *

  
_

For the first time since Boston I couldn't escape the demons that plagued me during the day. I tossed and turned all night, pieces of the conversations I'd had with my mom and my brother flitting through my head at odd moments, keeping me awake.

I finally gave up and decided I'd clean my apartment to try and keep my mind from wandering to the messages that taunted me at every turn. After a few hours I'd managed to make some decent headway and decided to tackle the mess in my entry closet. I had just pulled out all the shoes when I saw something bulky in the corner. I didn't recognize the binder at first - I hadn't owned any since high school…it was Bella's. _It's_ _the one she brought with her when she surprised me last Halloween._

I ran my hands over the plain black cover and opened it not really expecting to find anything inside since it had just been a prop for her costume. I was surprised to find her familiar scrawl on the first page.

_Dreaming of you in my sleep_

_Somehow I cannot believe_

_You are standing here with me_

_You are standing here with me_

_Taking my hand, Trusting in me_

_I always will, You'll always be_

_My only love, My only love_

I sank to the floor and let my fingers trace softly over the carefully scripted lyrics she'd written on the page, and everything came flooding back to me. Every look, every sigh, every word, and touch we'd shared played in my head followed by every word from the conversation I'd had with my brother that had hit a little too close to home.

I don't know how long I sat there, but when I finally got up my legs were numb from sitting on the hard floor. Jasper had said I needed to listen to what she had to say since I'd demanded that same respect from her, and he was right. The only way to move past this was to listen to what she had to say, even if I didn't like what I heard.

I sat on the couch and looked down at the small piece of technology I had begun to loathe by the end of the week. Jasper seemed to think Bella had the answers I was looking for if I would just give her a chance, and at that moment it was entirely possible that I held them all in the palm of my hand.

I rubbed my forehead with my free hand and hoped to God I was doing the right thing as I called my voicemail. I hit the appropriate keys and steeled myself for the impact of the hearing the sound of her voice for the first time in almost two weeks.

**~*~**

**"_Hi. Um…yeah… I don't even know if you're going to listen to this. You'll probably just delete it as soon as you see it's from me… I'm sorry I haven't called before now. I just…I just need you to know that I'm sorry, and I know that at this point it's hard to believe, but I love you, so please…I'd like to talk…if you can…"_**

_**~*~**  
_

Her voice was so indescribable. The tone of it reverberated throughout my body. It was going to be so hard to keep an open mind and listen to her words when just the sound of her voice affected me so much. I rubbed my chest as if I could alleviate some of the pain and moved through the next few messages she'd left.

**~*~**

**"_Hi, I'm just sitting outside my mom's house, and I'm so nervous to go in and talk to her. I completely understand that you aren't taking my calls and know I deserve that, but I just needed to hear your voice, even if it's just a recording, before I go in there__."_**

**_~*~  
_**

**_"I'm not sure if you can't answer, or if you just don't want to talk to me, which at this point I understand if you don't, but I really want to talk to you. I'm sorry I left…actually I'm sorry for everything. Please call me. I love you."_**

_**~*~**  
_

It was like catching snippets of a conversation and not being able to hear all that was being said. I decided to skip the rest of the voicemails and texts for now, and go straight to the emails, and hoped things would make more sense.

I logged into my account. I contemplated opening the first one dated for the night she left, but knew in my heart that if I started with that night I would only get angry. I decided to start with the one dated for March twenty-third, the night she actually tried to call me for the first time.

**~*~**

**_Subject: __March 23rd_**

**_Edward,_**

**_You are my best friend and so much more. I feel like I have to share everything with you and I understand that I've hurt you more than I may ever really know, and all the 'I'm sorrys' in the world could never be enough. Since actions speak louder than words I wanted to let you know that I just called my mom and asked if I could come out there and talk to her. I am tired of blaming all of my problems on her or events that happened to me._**

**_I am scared of what will happen and what she will say to me, but I am even more scared of not doing this. I wish I could hold your hand._**

**_I love you,  
Bella_**

_**~*~**  
_

I felt like I was being pulled in two separate directions as I read. Part of me wanted to comfort her and be there while she went through this. The other part was almost angry, wondering why it took me leaving her to realize she needed to deal with her problems.

I continued on clicking through each of them and read her words.

**~*~**

**_Subject: I was listening to your CD..._**

**_You make me feel so Tall. I always want to be this tall. Maybe I'll be original._**

**_I love you,_**

**_Bella_**

_**~*~  
**_

The rest of the lyrics came to my head as I read her words.

…_and sometimes things you say just make me think in different ways, so this is my way of saying I could be the one who's dragged home at night away from all my hopeless dreams- you and me will forge some future because we don't want to be waiting for something right to go wrong._

_Waiting….isn't that we've been doing since High School, Bella?_

I touched the screen and opened the next email.

**~*~**

**_Subject: __I wish you could put your ear up to my heart_**

**…_..And hear how much I love you_**

**_- B_**

_**~*~**  
_

_I can't believe she remembered when I sent this to her…__That's all I've ever wanted._

At the top of the list was the largest one. The conflict in my heart was taxing my emotions, so I took a steadying breath and touched the screen to open it.

**~*~**

**_Subject: Everything I should have said…_**

**_Edward, _**

**_I know that words on a screen and voicemails aren't going to magically make everything better, especially after how long I waited and they way I behaved. However, at the moment it's all I have. You're my best friend, and I share everything with you. This entire week, even though we've been apart, you have been with me as I made the hardest journey I have ever had to take. Just knowing that I could write these emails to you kept me strong, and helped me move forward._**

**_~*~ ~*~  
_**

_I still don't understand why you couldn't just call me. I would have talked to you if you would have called me from the beginning…I think…_All she had to say was she needed to sort things out - any communication would have been better than none at all… I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees and rubbed the back of my neck to ease the growing tension I felt as I continued to read.

**~*~ ~*~**

**_I've been stupid and immature. There's no other way to explain it than that. Not that there isn't more to the story, but when we get to the heart of the issue, it was yet another way I was too scared to deal with a problem. When you walked out the door I just automatically assumed that you were leaving me. There has always been a part of me that was waiting for it to happen. Not that you ever did anything to make me think that, it was just my own stupidity. After you left I stood there in the room feeling like my world was collapsing around me, and I knew I had hurt you more than I could ever imagine, so instead of facing the situation I had created, I just ran. I tried to tell myself it was because I didn't want to hurt you any more than I already had, and that you didn't want me there. I was just trying to make things easier on you. Though, if I was being honest with myself I left because I was too much of a coward to face you again knowing the hurt I had caused. _**

**_I sat in the airport the rest of the night waiting for my flight back to Miami, but I never called Alice, or anyone else, because I was ashamed of the way I had acted, and what I had done to you. From the moment I walked out the door it felt like a giant hole had been punched through my chest. There was a gaping empty space that ached without you there to fill it. When Alice had gotten home she tried to explain that you had just stepped out, taken a moment to clear you head, but I continued to lie to myself. I told myself that you needed time because I'd hurt you so much, but really I was just hiding because I was too scared to face the mess I'd made, the mess I've been making for years. _**

**_I tried to work, but all I could think about was you, or worse yet, what my life looked like without you. It was impossible for me to get anything done. I was messing orders up, and couldn't even make simple phone calls to suppliers without losing my train of thought. Rose called to tell me the truck was ready when I was in Boston, so I decided to go out and take care of the truck while I finished up some of the things I needed to do in Seattle. I think a part of me wanted to be back in Forks so I could feel closer to you somehow, and I did, but most of my time spent there was full of self-realizations._**

**_The first came from Rose. We were sitting out on her back porch, and she made me tell her the whole story about what happened between us. She gave me a figurative smack upside the head, and I did begin to see my mistakes. She laid things out for me in a way that only Rose would say, and I realized that I was never really worried about you giving up your job. What terrified me was the thought of you committing to a life with me, and then deciding you regretted giving up the life you had, and either resenting me, or wanting out entirely. _**

**_She helped me realize I was so used to seeing men leave my mother after a few months, that I subconsciously expected you would eventually do the same thing. I had to admit that I had been keeping you at a distance because I was terrified that in the end you'd leave me with a broken heart. I had let you so far into my heart that your leaving would wreck me, so I was trying to protect myself from that. I know that all of those thoughts were completely unfounded, but I have to own up to having them._**

**_The truck…my God Edward it's exquisite! Just the sight of it was enough to make me cry, but when I found the note you'd left for me the entire façade I'd built up over the past five days crumbled around me as I read your words__. _**

_**~*~ ~*~**  
_

_I wish I could have seen her face when she saw the truck. I'm sure the pictures Emmett sent didn't do it justice._

**_~*~ ~*~  
_**

**_You were right, it did make me happy, but it also made me so sad. In the note you said you wished you could give me the world, but you've given me so much more. I feel like thatold jalopy you fixed up…you've made me want to be more than what I've allowed myself to be, and even though I'm not doing it all for you, I never would have taken the steps I needed if it wasn't for you. Because of you I can be the phoenix that has risen from the ashes. When I got back home, to Forks, I shared a rare moment with Charlie. To say it was a wake-up call would be a gross understatement. Sitting in our old living room, he finally shared what really happened between him and Reneé. He told me how he'd driven her away by shutting her out and trying to deal with everything on his own. Everything he described was freakishly similar to what I've done to you. He admitted that letting her walk out of his life was the biggest mistake he'd ever made. I don't want to follow in his footsteps. I know I've only allowed you to share a fraction of my life, and that isn't fair, you deserve more. I want to give you more. I want to give you everything, broken pieces and all, if you still want me._**

**~*~ ~*~**

_Of course I still want you…I just…Why does this have to be so hard?_

**~*~ ~*~**

**_The next morning I sat in the same living room remembering that night so many years ago, when I had told you all about Reneé. I blamed her for a lot of things that I now know weren't her fault. That was the same night that you had asked me about prom and I gave you a bullshit answer about_ "_going in a big group". If I hadn't been such a coward to just tell you I really wanted to go with you, perhaps it wouldn't have taken us ten years to have that first dance. _**

**_After looking back on how many opportunities had passed me by because I was scared, I knew I could no longer hide behind my fear, and I tried to call you for the first time in a week. I pushed my fear of rejection away, because even as scared as I am that you'll reject me, not having you in my life is not an option. _**

**_Even though I was scared to death, the last step I needed to take was to call my mom. I looked at the picture of us from New Years to gather all of the courage I could, and called her, asking if I could visit. The next day I was sitting in a cab in front of her house, shaking with fear, and I selfishly called you, yet again, just to hear your voice on the greeting before going in to see her._**

**_When I finally made myself go inside we started talking. I wanted to know why she left Charlie…her side of the story. She said she felt like he couldn't love her completely, and he didn't even realize it. That's exactly what I have been doing to you. Of course I love you madly, but if I can't give all of myself to you, how can I truly love you fully? You deserve more than that._**

**_She also told me about the day she left Charlie and how she had waited…hoping he would ask her to stay, or say something…anything to stop her, because she said she gladlywould have stayed. But he never did, just like I never said anything to you in the hotel when you begged me to talk to you._**

**_I went on to ask her about how she had changed so much after she had left dad, losing herself a little more to each guy she dated. She really had no excuse, just apologies, and she explained that she'd felt like such a failure with Charlie that she thought she needed to try something completely different with her subsequent relationships. As each of them began to fall apart, more and more of her just slipped away._**

**_More than anything, I needed to apologize to her. I told her how sorry I was for blaming all of my issues on her without ever really knowing the whole story between her and dad. I told her all about you. It was nice sharing you with her, because in all of my twenty-eight years I had never felt like I could talk to her about my relationships. It was both wonderful and painful to relive our entire relationship starting from my second day at Forks High School._**

**_When I had finally finished telling her what I had done to you, she gave me a hefty dose of maternal wisdom – something I never thought I'd want from her. She asked me how I could push someone as wonderful as you away when I had seen all of the jerks she'd dated. She reminded me again of when she'd left Charlie, that all it would have taken was for him to ask her to stay, for him to fight for her. That is what I plan on doing – I'm going to for you.._**

**_I flew back home today, and even though all of the problems Reneé and I have haven't magically disappeared, at least we are on the right track to try to fix them. When I made it home I ached to be near you in some way, so I drove past the Viceroy and remembered the night of thefashion show, and how you surprised me. Even when I was trying to hold you at bay, you still knew exactly what I needed and gave it to me so freely._**

**_Eventually I made it where I'm sitting now, at the same beach where we shared a breakfast. It feels like it was years ago. I'm sitting on the same exact bench where you and I talked as we ate…_**

**_~*~ ~*~  
_**

_Matheson-Hammock Park… She'd fed me the most delicious pastry on a bench with a view of the bay. She'd said that one bite would change my life, that…I'd never be the same…only it wasn't the pastry that had changed my life. It had always been her. I hadn't been the same since the moment we'd met._

**~*~ ~*~  
**

**…_I remember the way the water looked, shimmering in the morning sunlight, but without you here it just looks dull and flat. That's exactly how I feel without you in my life, dull and flat._**

**_I know I've probably overwhelmed you with the messages I've sent this week, and I know in some way they are selfish on my part, but I just need you to know that I am always thinking of you and I have to share this journey with you, since you are the reason for it. I need you in my life, more than I had wanted to admit, but more than that I want to be able to love you the way you deserve. I no longer want to hide behind the mistakes my parents might have made, or the excuses I thought were keeping me safe. I want to love you whole-heartedly because you and I are both worth that. _**

**_I want you to know that I don't care where we are as long as we're together. If you still want to move to Seattle with me I would love to have you by my side. If not, I will gladly move to be with you. I know now that we aren't "giving up" anything to be together, instead we are choosing what is the most important to us…. each other. Without you none of it matters. I could have a wildly successful business, but if I couldn't share my day with you it would mean nothing to me. _**

**_This past week I've had to learn things about myself, and face my mistakes. It has been a long and hard journey, but it has shown me what I want. I want you, I want us, you're my only love and I'm willing to fight for it._**

**_I love you…always, _**

**_Bella_**

**~*~  
**

_Bella…_

When my mind was finally settled enough and I had gone back to read the rest of the emails dated before Monday, I finally moved on to her texts, the one she'd left me last night hit me harder than anything else so far.

**~*~**

**_You're my sparrow. Please be my anchor too._**

**_- B_**

_**~*~  
**_

I rested my head on the back of the couch, the fingers of one hand slowly rubbing circles on my right temple in an effort to ease the pressure of trying to process everything at once, and the other hand cradled my blasted phone.

I didn't know what to think anymore. I didn't know what to do. I'd spent almost half of my life in love with this woman, and deep down I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of it loving her. As I continued to contemplate my choices, the small device in my hand began to vibrate. I looked down at the screen and my heart constricted. _Bella. _

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

I looked back at the screen and raised it to my ear. "Bella?"

* * *

**A/N: This chapter is brought to you by the broken phone, Domestic Problems' **_**Untitled**_**, and pkitten21 who despite working too damn hard wearing a multitude of hats (author, mom, wife, nurse, Santa and Mrs. Clause, etc.) these past few weeks, earned her spot on this year's naughty list with her shitteriffic potty mouth and porntabulous fic. Lyrical inspiration provided by Tonic's **_**If You Could Only See**_**, Domestic Problems'**_** My Only Love**_**, Piebald's **_**New Coke**_**, and Mineral's **_**Unfinished**_** - links to each song are on our profile.**

**Thanks to Trin for penning Bella's epic ficworthy e-mail, without which, this chap would still be in the works…**

**All 3 of us have posted our own O/S's on the profile page recently. Take a look if you would like to read them:**

**The Oakway by pkitten21, her entry for the Write What You Know Contest**

**Release Me by SnozzberryFaery, her GoogleWard Challenge fic**

**Good Diary Days by TFX, a silly little birthday surprise for wearingwords/ilsuocantante**


	26. I Miss You

**A/N: Sorry for the update delay. Real life has a way of foiling our writing plans at every turn.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie brought the original heartfail and reunion to these two, but if you ask us? Ours is better. We have Geekward. (Translation: We own nothing Twilight, but we DO hold the rights to "Pants off, glasses on".)**

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* * *

  
**

**Chapter 26 – I Miss You**

**BPOV**

He picked up…_he actually answered._

My stomach churned nervously, and my heart pounded a prematurely ecstatic rhythm in my chest. I literally _ached _at the sound of his voice, and the possibility of being near him again, but we had _so much_ to resolve.

I paused before answering, willing my voice to not crack. In all honesty, after getting his voicemail so many times, I hadn't really expected him to pick up, and I truly didn't know what to say first. I decided to start small, and see how he sounded before going any further.

"Hi, Edward. I'm glad you picked up."

He was quiet, but I could hear him taking deep breaths.

"I just read everything you sent me," he finally spoke. His voice was gravelly and heavy with emotion. "And I don't know what to say."

It knew it was an overwhelming amount of information and emotions to try and understand. I didn't expect him to immediately launch back into us talking, so I decided to reiterate my thoughts.

"You don't have to say anything right now. Just, please, understand that I meant every word. I'm sorry for everything, and…I miss you," I squeaked, feeling the hot rush of tears pricking my eyes. All the feelings I'd been battling were coming to the surface.

I heard him swallow and sniff a few times before he let out a heavy breath.

"I…I miss you too, but…_fuck,_ this is hard…I need to digest everything, Bella. You dumped a lot on me, and I just need a little time to work through it all. I _want_ to talk to you, but... I'll call you tomorrow night, okay?"

I gulped down the painful lump that had formed in my throat, and I made myself speak.

"Of course, um…I guess I'll talk to you then?" I stammered.

"Yeah. Tomorrow. Good night, Bella."

"Edward?" I whispered, unsure if he'd hung up already.

There was a pause before he responded. "Yeah, I'm still here."

"I love you," I said softly.

There was a staggered inhale before I heard the words I'd missed so desperately.

"I love you too," he responded, then he was gone.

I sat there, still and silent, clutching the phone tightly in my fingers long after the line clicked and went dead.

He sounded so…_hurt…_not that I had expected anything else—but it broke my heart hearing the pain in his voice; the pain and confusion that _I _caused_._

I had already made up my mind that I was going to do whatever it took, and give him all the time he needed, but a small, selfish part of me wished he'd been able to talk to me for just a little while longer. His voice, as strained as it had been, was like a salve on my aching heart, and I knew I had no right to ask for more than he was ready to give.

…_but he did say he loved me back. He still loves me. _

That would have to be enough to get me through until we spoke again.

I dragged myself to my bed. It felt too big and too empty, but I was drained emotionally and physically, and sleep overtook me quickly.

I woke up late the next morning, after a surprisingly restful night, and noticed that Alice had left early and graciously let me sleep in.

I pondered the previous night's exchange, brief as it was, while I went about my morning routine. I was still cautiously hopeful about my interaction with Edward, but also surprisingly buoyant with the idea that I only had hours to wait before I could talk to him again. There was a lot we needed to discuss; we needed to lay everything on the table if we were going to have any hope of piecing our relationship back together.

…_that is, if he still _wants_ to _be _together. It was a two-minute phone call, and he didn't exactly profess his undying devotion…_

I suddenly realized that he had never actually said anything to indicate that he still wanted to be with me, but I couldn't let myself dwell on that. One way or another, I would know soon. My instinct was to do anything it took and _fight _for him to take me back, but I wanted him to _want _to be with me. I had placed the ball in his court, knowing that I was the one who was in the wrong, and I had to leave it up to him to make the final decision about our fate as a couple. I would accept whatever he decided. Of course I hoped he would want to be with me, even after all I'd put him through, but above all I just wanted him to be happy.

I took my time getting ready, knowing Alice wouldn't be expecting me until the afternoon. She was fully immersed in getting the fall line down on paper, and I knew she worked better when left alone. We had a conference call scheduled with the investment broker, and there was a lot of paperwork to review and sign, but otherwise the office had been fairly quiet. Things had been set in motion for our relocation, and we would be packing up shop and moving soon.

Preparations for the move were going pretty smoothly so far, all things considered, although there were a few snags that revolved around my undecided future--housing being one. Ideally, , I should have already lined up potential housing options in Seattle. We, as in Alice and I, _had _looked at a few available lofts near the new shop, but I hadn't been able to make myself come to a decision. It felt wrong to make such a big decision without having Edward's input. After all, if he decided to move to Seattle, I had hoped he would be living with me. Rose and Em had offered me a guest room until I got settled into something more permanent, but I hadn't accepted or declined yet. I wanted a better idea of what was going on with Edward and I before I gave them an answer. I had no choice but to wait until he made up his mind, and we could work out the details of what that entailed together.

Alice knew that I'd told Edward I would happily go wherever he wanted if it meant I could be with him, and I'd meant it. As sad as it made me to think of leaving Alice to handle things mostly alone, she urged me to follow my heart. My heart was with Edward, and I would go where he was. We could still manage to run the business together, even if we weren't working out of the same office. As for Edward, there was still the possibility that he would pursue a new job, like he'd mentioned, but I wasn't going to put any pressure on him one way or another. I knew now that it was his decision to make, and if it meant we would be together, I would be happy either way.

I dressed comfortably, but appropriately for the office, did my hair and make-up, and was out of the door by eleven, still feeling low, but better than I had since Boston. I stopped on the way and got pastries and coffee for Alice and me, thinking that I wanted to do something nice for her, since she had endured my recent horrific moods with minimal complaint.

When I arrived, Alice was sitting at her drawing table, finishing some sketches for the new line, and she glanced up at me briefly and mumbled a hello around the pencil she held in between her teeth.

"Good late-morning to you too, sunshine," I responded, laughing quietly as I placed the coffee and pastry box on the desk beside her.

She finally sat up and actually _looked_ at me, taking in my offering, and the look on my face, before quirking her head to the side and squinting.

"What happened?" she asked.

"What?"

"You have been a veritably useless sad-sack for the last few weeks, and suddenly you walk in here bearing caffeine and sugary treats. You also laughed. I haven't heard you laugh since Boston. So, again, I want to know what happened."

_Fabulous, the third degree before I've even sat down..._

I sat in my chair and took the lid off of my coffee, blowing on it gently as I tried to formulate my response. Alice would know if I was withholding information, so I figured short and to the point would cause the least shrieking from her.

"I talked to Edward," I answered simply.

"What? When? So what happened? Did he call you, or did you call him? Why the hell didn't you wake me up?" Her words ran out in a long high-pitched stream.

_So much for avoiding the shrieking…_

"Last night, and _I_ called _him_. Those emails I told you I sent him? Well, he hadn't responded, so I figured I would try and call one more time, thinking that I could leave him another voicemail, but he _actually _picked up_._"

"And? What else?" Alice pressed.

"Not much. He said he'd finally read all of my messages and emails, but that he needed time to process it all, and he'd call me tonight."

"Is that it? Because you are giving off way less Emo-Bella vibes. Did he say anything else?"

"He said he loves me. I can't even tell you how much I missed those words." I grinned at the memory.

"Was it just a simple 'I love you'? Did it sound sincere? Did he say it first, or was he responding to you?"

"Do you ever stop to take a breath? You've asked me, like, ten questions in the span of a minute!"

"Oh shut up, you know you're eventually gonna tell me everything anyway. So, what was it exactly?"

"I said I loved him first, and he was quiet, but then he said he loved me back. That was all. I'm just happy he said it. Does it really matter _how _he said it?" I asked, not understanding what the significance was.

"Bella, sweetheart, you know I adore you, but you are so love-tarded. The way these men say things almost speaks more than what they actually say. These Cullen boys get wound up tighter than Richard Simmons' perm when they're emotional."

The mental picture that gave me made me laugh softly, lightening the mood.

"So, did he say it at the end of your talk, or at some point during?"

"Umm…he said it and then he hung up."

She sighed heavily, and twiddled her pencil in her fingers.

"I hate to say it Bells, but I think he's still pretty upset. From what little info I've gotten out of Jasper, Edward hasn't been eating, sleeping, or talking about what happened. Don't take this the wrong way, but I wouldn't blame him for still being pissed."

What little bit of good mood I'd carried through the morning suddenly fizzled away at her words. I knew she was trying to be helpful, but she'd managed to shoot holes through my hope, and I felt freshly deflated.

Alice eyed me, a look of apology on her face.

"I see Emo-Bella has arrived after all. I'm sorry to see her back so soon, but I take full responsibility for her appearance. Look, Bells, I want so badly for things to be okay with you guys, but I also don't want you all high on false hope, and then crushed to smithereens on the off chance that things don't work out. I know you want him back, but if you want me to be honest, it's probably not going to be easy. I suggest you tread lightly."

"Of course I want you to be honest…I just want to try and talk things out with him, but it's so hard to do it over the phone when I can't see his face."

I discarded my coffee and leaned back in the swivel chair, placing my hands over my face.

"Maybe you should ask him if you can go to Chicago and have it out. We don't have anything urgent in the books, so you could make a quick trip up there if you need to."

"That's what I want to do, but I don't know if he'll even want to see me. I don't feel right trying to make amends without looking him in the eye. It feels half-assed."

"So ask him if you can come see him. The worst he could do is say no. Either way, at least you're talking, right?"

The tiny little mood-ruiner had a point.

* * *

The afternoon breezed by, not because I felt better, but because I tried to do as much paperwork as I could, since there was at least a small possibility Edward would let me visit, and I would be away from the office for a few days.

After work I made a few stops and grabbed dinner on the way back to the apartment. Alice was already home when I got there, and I knew she was waiting to see if I had any new information to share. When she eyed me expectantly, all I could do was shake my head no. We ate in relative silence, with her still feeling guilty for playing the devil's advocate, and me staring at my phone every thirty seconds waiting for it to ring.

When Alice offered to clean up the dishes and put away the leftovers, I nodded absently before walking to my room and flopping on the bed.

Seven o'clock came and went, and I found myself checking the battery life on my phone to make sure it was fully charged and not going to spontaneously die mid-conversation. When eight o'clock rolled around I was curled up under my quilt, trying to pep talk myself out of my Emo-mental hidey-hole. By nine o'clock I was pacing the three open sides of my bed. I was probably wearing a track in the carpet, but it made me less anxious. Finally, at nine forty-seven, my phone rang.

I grabbed it and answered before the first verse of my ringtone song ended.

"Edward?" I asked breathlessly.

"Yeah," he answered quietly.

"I was starting to think you weren't gonna call."

"I almost didn't."

His words stung, and I opened my mouth to respond, but he cut me off before I could get a word out.

"I know we need to talk, but I'm not even sure where we should start. There's a shitload of things that need to be addressed. This whole situation is just fucked up. On one hand, I miss you like crazy, but on the other hand, you broke my fucking heart."

I winced. He was right, but it still hurt like hell.

"I totally agree, this is really messed up and painful, but this is hard for me too. I really want to talk, though. If it's okay with you, I really think it would be better if we talk in person. It's important to me to be able to look you in the eyes when I explain myself. I can come up there if you—"

"I don't know if I'm ready to see you yet. I love you, Bella. I love you more than my own life, but I'm still a little angry, and very hurt. Not to mention the fact that I don't trust myself not to crumble the minute I see you."

Under any other circumstances his words would have warmed my heart, but in this instance it was just further proof of how deeply I'd hurt him. He felt like he needed distance from me to protect himself, and that scared me.

"I mean, I don't even know if I can trust you anymore. How do I know this won't happen again? What guarantee do I have that you won't freak out over something that happens and run instead of facing it? I think we should try and talk this out first, before we take things any further."

I let out a deep exhale, and tried to steel my nerves, temporarily ignoring the pain his refusal to see me caused.

"You are completely right to feel the way you do. I betrayed your trust, and I'm not sure what I could say that will make you believe how hard I'm trying to fix myself, so something like this _doesn't _happen again. I can also assure you that I've never been more certain of anything than knowing that I want to be with _you. _There will be no more running, no more hiding, and no more avoiding. Just ask me, and I'll tell you anything you want to know. We can do this however you want…"

"Bella, I _really_ want to believe you, but you made me question a lot of things I thought were certain, so forgive me for being a little hesitant to take you at your word. There are so many things I just _don't understand._ For starters…what the hell were you thinking? I went out for a few minutes to calm down, and you fucking _ran_. You didn't even say goodbye, or leave a note…nothing. Wasn't I worth a simple note? You say you love me, but you couldn't even give me the courtesy of a few lines explaining your sudden disappearance? And to top it off, you didn't even call to apologize once you figured out that it was all a _misunderstanding_. You made me feel so…so…_insignificant._"

He barely choked out the last few words. I heard the anguish in his voice, and the tears started to fall freely down my face.

"Edward, I'm _so_ sorry…more sorry than you could ever understand. I did a shitty thing not telling you about Seattle, and when you called me on it, I acted even shittier. I don't think I even have the words to try and explain what I was thinking at the time, because no matter what I say it would all sound like the same pathetic excuses. My behavior was inexcusable, but I hope not unforgivable. Please, I love you, and I'll do whatever it takes to make you believe in me again," I offered.

There was a heavy silence, and I heard him sniff a few times before he spoke. "Okay. I think I should go now, though. I'll call you again tomorrow night. Is that alright?"

"Sure. That'd be good. Talk to you then. I love you."

"I… love you too, Bella. Good night."

He hung up quickly, and even though it had been strained, it felt like progress.

* * *

He called around the same time the next evening, but he sounded better than he had the previous nights. After we said hello he launched right into things. He didn't sound angry anymore, but he did sound maybe a little… determined? I was grateful just for the lack of bitter edge to his words.

"I have some questions I need answered. First, why didn't you tell me about Seattle as soon as you found out?"

I leaned back against the headboard of my bed and took a deep breath.

"At first, I thought I was keeping you from being disappointed that Chicago wasn't an option for us. Then, I waited so long to tell you, that I didn't know how to bring it up. I felt horrible that I could be the reason you stop working with those amazing kids. You were so happy, and proud of the work you were doing, I didn't want to take that from you. I put it off for too long, I know, and I finally planned on telling you that night in Boston after the concert, but you'd already heard from Jasper, so I felt like even more of an asshole. I have no valid excuse for not telling you right away. I should have told you the minute I found out, and I'm sorry I didn't."

"Why did you automatically assume I'd be upset by moving away from Chicago, without even discussing it with me? I told you I had other potential job opportunities I could pursue, but you took it upon yourself to decide for me. That was unfair, Bella. I deserved the opportunity to make that choice myself."

"I agree completely. The way I handled it was wrong. You'll get no arguments from me about that. I see what a mistake it was now, and I only wish I could've done it differently."

"Next question…What did I ever do to make you think I would walk out on you like that?"

"Edward, nothing _you've_ done has _ever_ made me think that. I had a knee-jerk reaction to our fight, and I made an enormous mistake. I overreacted when you walked out because I thought all my worst fears had finally come to fruition. I can't think of anything I'm more afraid of than you leaving me. I'm _so_ sorry if I made you think that you were at all responsible for what happened. You weren't. You have been nothing but understanding, loving, and unbelievably good to me. You've been sensitive to my fucked up emotional issues, and you've loved me unconditionally. I've been tremendously unfair to you, and I can't say I'm sorry enough."

"I don't need you to keep saying sorry, Bella. What I need you to do is help me get things straight so we can move on."

_Does he mean 'move on' as in separately, or together?_

"Do you mean you want to work things out? Or have I fucked us up beyond repair?"

"Bella, I…I've loved you since we were seventeen-years-old. I have given you every part of me, and all I asked was to have all of you in return_. _If we are gonna have any hope of working this out, I need you to promise me that you'll _let me in_. I can't help you if you don't let me."

I sobbed quietly, feeling every twinge of pain in his voice, but part of me was thrilled that he at least sounded a little hopeful.

"I know that now. I agree, I haven't been willing to really open up to you, because the thought of putting my whole heart in someone else's hands truly terrifies the shit out of me, but…it's yours. Whether you want me back, or you want me gone, it'll still only ever belong to you. I mean it."

He was quiet on the other end of the line, but I could hear his soft breathing.

"Bella, I said I was pissed at you, but I'd never want you gone."

"God, Edward, you have no idea how amazing it feels to hear you say that. I've been so knotted up over this, and worrying that you were done with me, that I haven't been able to breathe for almost two weeks."

"I know the feeling," he chuckled quietly.

"So… can you forgive me?"

"I already have, but that doesn't mean that I can trust you again yet. Just give me some time. We still have a lot to talk about and work out. Can I call you again tomorrow?" he asked.

"Of course you can, you can call me anytime," I answered. "I love you, Edward."

"I love you too, Bella. And just so you know, I may be upset, but I still wish you were here right now. I'd give almost anything just to hold you…"

"You know what? I'd give almost anything for that too."

We hung up, and for the first time in almost two weeks, I felt almost happy.

* * *

The following several days went by quickly, between packing and paperwork. Edward and I were talking nightly, and with every revelation I could hear the anger and sadness slowly filtering out of his voice.

We talked about anything and everything; the good and the bad. I told him again about visiting Renee, and how that had gone, as well as my visits with Charlie, and Em and Rose. Obviously he'd read the words explaining these things, but it was important to me that he hear it from my mouth, so he knew I was serious about taking their words to heart. We talked about how bad things had been those first days apart, and he admitted to spending at least one whole day drunk beyond belief. I took that moment to also admit to not leaving my bed for almost two days. It was perfectly clear that we had both been hurt deeply, but the divide felt smaller the more we talked.

It felt a little like starting over, but with a new closeness we hadn't had before. I was answering all of his questions openly, and without hesitation. It was tremendously liberating to not have to hide anything or worry about how to answer. I answered his questions with complete honesty. I promised him no more hiding, and I meant it. Everything was fair game, from the day we met, to Boston. I told him anything he asked, and he did the same for me. We talked late into the night, and with every divulged secret and painful admission I felt my heart swell with hope.

There were a few topics Edward and I were skirting—like his job, and whether he was considering moving-- and as much as I wanted to just toss them out into the open, I wanted to really physically sit down and hash them out with him. I was waiting for him to give me the green light, and I'd be on a plane to Chicago in a heartbeat.

Thursday night he called me earlier than the previous nights, and I was just stepping out of the shower when I heard the phone ring. I wrapped a towel around myself and plucked my phone off the countertop.

"Hi. I've been looking forward to your call all afternoon. How was your day?"

"It was good, a little chaotic, but good. I have a few things to tell you, but can I ask you something important first? There's something that's been nagging at the back of my mind since Valentine's Day. This is really the last big question, but the most important one. If we're going to move forward I need some clarification on something."

He sounded serious, and my heart skipped a beat. "Uh, okay. Go ahead. I promised you total honesty, so fire away."

"Where do you see us going?"

I didn't understand the context of the question, because it could have had more than one meaning, given all the things we had up in the air.

"Do you mean geographically, or our relationship?"

"I mean us, together, as a couple. What do you see for us in the future? Because I can't get it out of my head how scared to death you looked when you thought there was a ring in that box, instead of your bracelet. I asked you then if my proposing would have been the worst thing in the world, and your response was 'of course I want to be with you', but you never actually said you would consider marriage in the future. I'm not talking about right this second, but I need to know if that is or is not even a possibility for us. That kind of commitment would be the next step in most serious relationships, and if you won't ever be capable of taking that step with me, then I don't think I can put myself out there to get hurt again."

Visions of him in a tux, and me in a vintage ivory gown suddenly flashed through my head, and it made me feel so peaceful, and maybe even a tiny bit giddy. There was a slight apprehension still there, but not because of the idea of getting married. It felt more like a typical nervous reaction to something new and different. It was a little amazing and a _lot _surprising that something that I'd been so ambivalent about before we were together now felt so _right_. It was the first real recognizable sign I'd seen that I was getting over all the shit in my life and finally moving forward, instead of stagnating in insecurity and fear. Of course I'd fantasized about marriage and kids _someday_, but now I saw a real, concrete possibility for our future, and it _thrilled _me.

"Bella, I want nothing more than for us to move forward, you and me, together, but I just _can't_ put myself back out there if there's a chance I'll get hurt even worse down the line. I know you'd never hurt me on purpose, but for this to work, we really need to be moving in the same direction. I hope you understand where I'm coming from. I love you, but I need your answer before I can consider moving forward with you."

"Honestly? No one has ever come right out and asked me how I felt about marriage. If you'd proposed to me on Valentine's Day, I don't know if I'd have been able to say yes, as much as it would have killed me to hurt you like that. Not because I didn't want to marry you, but because I was so overwhelmed at the time, and there were so many things that hadn't been said. We'd gotten so close so quickly, and I didn't know then if there was a way to be together without one or both of us having to sacrifice everything. I always thought that getting married was like giving over your entire life to the other person, but I know now I was wrong. You open your lives to be shared with one another. I've had to face some hard truths to gain that understanding, and it's put my life into new perspective. I feel _different _now, but in this case different is better. I want to be with you, Edward, always."

He let out the breath he'd obviously been holding.

"Good, Bells. That's…really good." I could almost hear the smile in his voice. "I feel so much better hearing you say that. There was a little part of me that was so terrified you'd say you would never marry me."

"Well allow me to put your mind at ease. You're it for me. All I want is to be with you, wherever and however you'll have me."

"In that case…how about I have you point yourself North? I'm dying up here without you."

I twisted the edge of my towel between my fingers, thinking that I wanted nothing more in that moment than to be with him in Chicago.

"I thought you'd never ask."

* * *

I was almost frantic at the airport ticket counter, worried I'd never be able to get a flight at this late notice, but the airline employee looked at me with sympathetic eyes, and got me in last-minute on a soon-to-depart flight. I booked a seat, glad that it was a mostly empty flight, and planned to use the two and a half hour travel time to rest. Before the plane took off, I texted both Alice and Edward my flight number and arrival time, so neither would worry about me.

I tried to sleep, but my stomach churned with nerves, and my hands were shaky. We'd been through so much in such a short time that it was strange to feel hopeful after I'd been so low, but that was what I felt. Hopeful for my future, mostly because now I knew Edward would definitely be in it.

I arrived at O'Hare just after eleven p.m., and I ran for the cab stand as fast as I could.

I was almost aching for Edward's arms around me. I'd cried into my pillow for countless hours, wishing only for him to hold me and make the pain go away, and now, like a junkie anticipating a fix, I was so close to what I wanted so desperately that it was almost too much to take.

I clambered into the first cab I saw, and gave the driver Edwards address.

"Get me to that address as fast as possible, and I'll tip you twenty bucks."

The car lurched forward and we wove in and out of traffic like it was fucking Space Mountain. If I hadn't been so excited and distracted by thoughts of _finally _getting to be in Edward's arms, I for sure would have puked.

We screeched to a halt in front of Edward's apartment building, and I threw some cash at the driver, while simultaneously leaping out the door. I almost ate it on the pavement, but luck was with me and I kept my footing.

Every step closer to the elevator made my heart pound harder. Every ding of the floors made the butterflies flutter. Every inch closer to his door had more tears pricking at my eyes.

I'd barely raised my hand to knock when the door was jerked open.

There he stood, looking so beautiful, but also so rough around the edges. His hair was mussed and all over the place. His chin bore at least a week's worth of scruff, and he was dressed in beat-up jeans and a shredded Henley. He looked like he'd been through a war, and in some ways I knew it had probably felt like that.

Our eyes met, and for a moment all other sounds and sensations disappeared. I hardly felt movement, but suddenly his strong arms were wrapped around my middle and his warm wet cheek pressed against the side of my neck. I clung on for dear life, drinking him in like he was air and I couldn't get a deep enough breath. It felt like forever, and it felt like it would never be enough.

He loosened his grip on me and took a few steps backwards into the apartment, silently pulling me with him and kicking the door shut. He led me to the couch and pulled me across his lap, and we sat, still silent, and clung to one another again.

I felt soft shudders rocking his frame, and I knew he was feeling the same intense flood of relief that I was. I let go of all the tears I'd held in since we'd fallen apart. We just relished the feeling of contact, and being together. When our tears ran dry, he finally sat up and cupped my face gently.

"Missed you," he whispered.

"Missed you, too," I replied softly. "Did you want to talk?"

"Later," he answered. "Right now I just want to hold you."

He placed a soft kiss on my lips, before pulling me back to his chest and holding me tightly. I knew we were feeling the same.

* * *

**A/N: This chapter is brought to you by Incubus' **_**I Miss You, **_**and Snozzberryfaery who says you can direct the hate-mail and rotten veggies at her. It's all her fault this update took 400 years to post, and she also made our hero and heroine into a sobbing pile of sorry. **

**Never fear, things should be less heartichokey from this point on. **

**Also, Pkitten21 has entered a one-shot in the "An Edward to Remember" Contest. It's anonymous, so we can't tell you which one is hers...but if you like classic old Hollywood Edward these stories are definitely for you! We promise you won't be sorry! Go read and vote! http:// www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/ ~anedwardtoremember# Voting goes through midnight EST on February 7****th****!**


	27. Happiness is All the Rage

**While you wait patiently for our next update, SnozzberryFaery has a special outtake in the works that should be posting on Feb. 28****th**** as part of MrsTheKing's Thank You event, and pkitten21 has posted two new one shots on her personal profile – go check them out!**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie created these crazy kids, we just dress them up in Star Wars underwear.

* * *

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**Chapter 27 –Happiness is All the Rage**

**(****EPOV****)**

_NO! Just five more fucking minutes!_

I tried to will myself back to sleep as the blaring alarm clock started to edge its way into my mind. I wanted to ignore it and return to the dream I was having. It was like so many of the others I'd had in the past couple of weeks; Bella was in my arms, and my heart no longer felt like it had been slammed against the wall a million times.

I started to take a deep breath, trying to hold at bay the pain that would always follow once I woke, only this time there was a warm weight against my chest. My eyes snapped open and there she was. Bella. Her head was tucked into my chest, and her hair completely blocked her face from me, but in that moment I had never seen anything more beautiful.

I tightened my arms around her body and placed a kiss into her mess of hair, as I breathed a sigh of relief that it hadn't just been another dream...it was real, and Bella was here, right where she was supposed to be.

I couldn't believe it had only been three weeks since that fucked up night in Boston. In less than a month's time I had gone from utter happiness to the deepest pit of despair, and now sitting here with Bella I hoped we'd soon be even happier than before. All the shit we'd been through would end up making us stronger, and deepen our relationship, I _knew _that, but it didn't make it any easier.

When I had finally answered Bella's phone call, after reading everything she'd sent me, I had never felt so torn in all my life. Part of me had wanted to just tell her to come to Chicago that very second, and everything was fine, and we'd just forget it had ever happened. However, the other part of me wanted to hold her at arm's length, so that once and for all we could deal with everything we kept trying to sweep under the rug. I knew in my heart that, even though it hurt, it was the best thing I could do for myself…and for Bella.

If I had agreed to talk everything out in person I _knew_ I would have crumbled at the very sight of her. Even a single tear would have done me in, and I never would have been able to tell her exactly how I felt, or ask her all the questions I needed answered.

I was worried that I may have never truly been able to trust her again if I'd let her back in so easily. There would always be questions lurking in the back of my mind, wondering if this was the time she was going to run away or hold something back from me. It would only have become a matter of time before it'd tear us apart…again.

I loved Bella too much to take the easy way out. Those phone calls had been so painful at first. Mostly because I knew the things I needed to say and ask her would hurt the both of us, but I had to keep reminding myself that the end would justify the means.

During that first phone call when she'd told me she loved me I nearly lost all of my resolve. Her voice was so tiny and filled with so much emotion. I'd told her I loved her too—I _had _to—but after I did I'd hung the phone up quickly, and without another word. I knew if I'd stayed on the line a second longer I would have told her how badly I needed her, and begged her to come see me that instant.

Every night as we talked, I could feel our disconnection being repaired little by little. Bella answered everything openly and honestly with me. The only time she would hesitate was to really think about my questions, in order to give me a full answer, and she truly never seemed to hold anything back.

Then last night I'd asked her the most troubling question on my mind, the one that scared the shit out of me, because it would mean the difference between moving forward or standing still. God knows I'd imagined Bella and I married a million times already, two kids a picket fence…the whole deal, but to finally know she was on the same page with me, that she wanted those things too…I felt like I could breathe for the first time in weeks.

I laughed to myself a little thinking how, in some ways, I had always been kind of like the girl in our relationship. I had been ready to commit right away, I dreamed of marriage and kids…hell, I was the talker of the two of us.

As the idea of marriage returned to my mind I couldn't help the excitement that raced through my body. I wanted to make Bella mine, and not in a "club you over the head and drag you back to my cave" kind of way, but in the sense that everyone would know that we belonged to one another.

_Isabella Swan Cullen._

Just the thought of that turned the semi I'd been sporting since I'd woken up into a raging hard-on. I felt my cock press against my jeans and worried I might bore a hole right through Bella's hip.

As always, her body responded to mine immediately, and she shifted her hip into me and nuzzled her head against my chest. The past few weeks I had been so broken emotionally that my physical needs hadn't even been on the radar, but sitting here now with Bella on my lap, it felt like my body was making up for lost time.

She shifted against me with more determination and I actually heard myself whimper her name. Her warm soft hand cupped my cheek as she lifted her head from my chest and looked up into my eyes. We had both spilled all of our tears last night, and the whites of her eyes were stilled marred with the redness of crying. She looked so fucking earnest, sincere…beautiful.

She moved her mouth to my neck and began placing soft kisses along my skin. My hands moved on their own and wove themselves into her messy chestnut hair. Her lips moved over my Adam's apple and she brushed them gently across the skin before returning to kiss across my neck.

"Missed you," she whispered into my collarbone between movements of her mouth.

I ran one hand down her back and grabbed her ass gently, pulling her in closer to me. She worked her way back up my neck, exhaling softly against my skin as her mouth traveled. She finally stopped at my ear, tracing the lobe with her nose as she inhaled deeply. It had become hard to swallow, and I could hear the blood whooshing in my ears. My body screamed and begged to flip her over and tear her clothes off of her as quickly as I could.

"I'm so sorry, Edward," Bella's voice cracked as she spoke against my ear.

At those words, I suddenly lost my immediate yearning, and instead became overwhelmed with all of the emotions of that morning, the night before, the weeks before…even the years before. I wanted to make love to Bella, but I wasn't sure we were ready to go there just yet. I wanted to be able to give myself completely to her, like she was now doing for me. I wouldn't lie to her or myself and say that I didn't still feel the need to protect myself, or my heart, a little.

I had already told her I'd forgiven her, because I had, but to regain the complete trust I'd had in her before would take more time. I pulled my head back from Bella slightly so I could look into her eyes. "No more sorry's. We still have things we need to discuss, but I know you regret what you did and I am not going to hold this over your head and expect you to grovel. From here on out we need to work on moving forward and not repeat any of our mistakes."

A sob escaped her lips and she buried her head back into my chest. Her body shook as fresh tears soaked through my shirt. I stroked her hair and whispered how much I loved her as she cried against me.

As much as the tears could have been about mistakes between us, I knew that it was not just about us. In the past three weeks Bella had dealt with more issues than some people do in an entire lifetime. In some ways her world had been turned upside down. What she had thought for so many years about her mother, and her parent's relationship, had not been entirely true.

Once Bella's tears had ceased, and her breathing had returned to a normal rhythm, I placed my finger under her chin turning her eyes up to mine. "I think we need to get something to eat," I said smiling down to her.

"Absolutely. I'm starving. I could cook f-"

"_No_," I cut her off abruptly before she could finish offering. "It's been a long night, I don't want you to have to worry about cooking. Why don't we go down the street, there's a great crepe place about two blocks away. I'm sure some fresh air would do us good…" I trailed off as my words started to jumble together in a panic. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt if we stayed indoors too much longer my whole "waiting till it was right" idea would be out the window faster than a Trekkie would have his ass kicked at a Star Wars convention. Especially if Bella was cooking, there would definitely be another table-fuck in our future if she even touched a spatula.

"Okay…let me go get ready," Bella laughed, giving me a sideways glance.

The moment she stood up I already missed her body touching mine. I grabbed her wrist before she could walk to the door and retrieve her discarded bag. Bella looked at me over her shoulder, her chocolate eyes warm and loving as a huge smile broke out across her face. I pulled her down to me again and molded my lips to hers. I used all the restraint I had to keep the kiss chaste since I was sure my morning breath could peel the paint off the walls.

I hugged her back against me and stood us both up causing Bella to dissolve into a fit of giggles. Once both of her feet were on the floor I finally released her from my arms. I grabbed her bag by the door and took it into my bedroom so she could get ready. Bella found her toiletry bag and headed into my bathroom as I turned to walk out of the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Oh-uh…all my clothes are in the dryer so I have to go get something to wear." I silently thanked my recent bout of slob-like behavior, because if had to watch Bella get ready I would most likely combust on the spot.

"I'll help you put away your laundry and clean up some when we get back," she called as she disappeared behind the door.

My heart lurched unexpectedly at the idea of sharing such boring domestic activities with Bella.

_Dude, seriously, I am going to fucking revoke your man card if you don't cool it with that shit._

I grabbed a pair of jeans and light v-neck sweater out of the dryer, trying to shake some of the wrinkles from the rumpled fabric. I used the guest bathroom to brush my teeth and clean the lenses of my glasses since they had been pressed into Bella's hair for most of the night.

I was sitting in the living room reading through some emails from work and sent Jane a request to confirm that Mark, my replacement, would be at the office next Monday to start training. I hadn't heard Bella walk into the room, but suddenly could feel her eyes on me. I looked up from the phone and my heart began to race.

Bella's eyes had lost all of the remnants of the night, as well as the sadness from the events of weeks prior. Those brown eyes now held nothing but love and happiness in them. It was such a departure from the woman who had stood at my door last night clinging to me as tightly as I clung to her. It was as if just the presence of the other person had restored us.

I hopped off the couch shoving my phone in my pocket as I grasped her hand in mine. I grabbed both of our jackets and pulled her out the door with me. We walked the two blocks to the little Crêperie in my neighborhood. I enjoyed the authentic décor of the café and it made me think of how much I would love to take Bella to Paris one day so we could enjoy something like that together. _Why don't we just get back to square one before we start fantasizing about gallivanting out of the country, numbnuts?_

I watched as Bella looked over the menu, her eyes returning to the dessert crepes over and over again.

"It's 11:34, Bella. It's perfectly acceptable to have a Nutella cheesecake crepe for brunch," I said matter-of-factly as I tried to keep a straight face.

"Am I that obvious? Or do you just know my proclivity for sweets that well?"

"Both," I laughed as she covered her face with the menu, feigning embarrassment.

"Well then I sure as hell hope 11:34 is late enough to have the cheesecake crepe with Nutella, bananas, _and_ strawberries."

We both ordered our food, each opting for a different dessert crepe so we could share. The conversation flowed easily between us as we drank our lattes and watched the chef prepare our meal. Bella let me set the tone of the conversation, since I had been the one to say we would wait to "talk" when she had arrived last night.

After we were both fully satisfied from Nutella, fruit and cheesecake that had been disguised as lunch wrapped in a crepe, I glanced around the café to make sure it was empty.

"I know I read everything that happened with Renee, and we'd talked about it when you'd called a little, but what I _don't_ think we talked about is how you feel about it. How you felt when you were there."

She picked up her cup and took a long sip as her eyes looked contemplative. I now knew that it meant she was thinking about her answer, and not whether or not she should tell me the whole story.

"Well, I was scared and nervous of course. I nearly had a panic attack in the cab when I was sitting outside of her house." Bella looked up from the table and she gave me an apologetic smile.

Immediately I remembered one of the voicemails she'd left saying that she sitting outside of Rene's house and was scared and just needed to hear my voice, even if it was a recording, to calm her down.

"But I guess in a weird way, even though I was dreading walking through those doors and talking to her, I also had a feeling of calm about it. I knew it was what I had to do. I couldn't keep dealing with things like I had for so many years. Obviously, it wasn't working out for me. Even more than that though, I knew it would be part of the journey that would lead me back to you," she nearly whispered the last sentence, her voice cracking as her eyes glistened with new tears.

"It did," I reassured her as I reached across the table and captured her hand between both of mine.

Bella smiled at me and sniffed back her tears as she steadied herself to continue. "When we actually started talking, and my mom explained everything to me, I just felt so stupid and childish --especially, when she told me her side of the story for leaving Charlie. I know I was a kid when it happened, so I'm not saying I should have been able to figure it out then, but I saw how all of this shit was affecting my life as an adult and I never should have waited so long. If I would have asked both of them why the marriage didn't work out maybe I could have identified some of the same type of behaviors in my life. If I'd done that maybe I wouldn't have put you through so much shit, I'm so sor-"

"Uh-uh," I said as I squeezed her hand. "No more sorry's, remember."

"I remember," she whispered. "Then we talked about her poor choice in men and how she'd pretty much handed over her life to each of them. I think that part might have upset me the most, since she'd thought it was her fault in a way that things had fallen apart with Dad she'd decided to go to the opposite end of the spectrum in her other relationships."

I looked into Bella's beautiful eyes and noticed that I saw none of the feelings she had just talked about lingering there. She had dealt with these things and had made a decision she was going to move on and stop letting those events dictate her life.

"Bella, you were so brave. I don't know that many people who could do what you've done and by themselves like that. I should have at least called you back, I should have been there when you saw her I'm s-"

"Hey!" Bella screeched squeezing my hands. "No. More. Sorry's."

"Touché," I said as we both laughed. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yep, lets go clean up that apartment of yours," she teased.

We took our time walking back. It was a brisk April day in Chicago, and so I used that as my excuse to hold Bella next to me to keep her warm.

"You know what's funny? As many times as I've come to visit you I've never really seen a lot of the city or even of your neighborhood. I guess we've always been a little too…busy," her last word was huskier and playful…and went straight to my dick.

_Yo, Edna! Yes, that is your new name since you are now a woman; I think your fuckhot girlfriend wants you to swab her deck with El Capitan._

At a loss for words, since all my blood was now residing in my cock, I leaned down and placed a kiss on her head as we walked into my building. I nearly asked her if she wanted to take the stairs, because I wasn't sure if I could handle being alone in an elevator with her. Luckily…or not…The Steels, the sweet old couple from 3B, walked in and towards the elevator as well.

We let them enter first and followed in behind, smiling politely to one another. Mr. Steel held onto his wife's arm lovingly and told her to watch her step. Bella and I both smiled at each other as we watched the couple.

"Edward, aren't you going to introduce us to this lovely young lady?" Mrs. Steel chided playfully.

"Oh, sorry. Where are my manners? This is my beautiful girlfriend, Bella Swan."

"Very nice to meet you," Mr. Steel said as he kissed her hand.

"Oh Tom, stop flirting, Edward might not like that." Mrs. Steel cooed before turning to Bella. "It is a pleasure to meet you, dear. How long have you and Edward been together?"

Bella scrunched her face and squinted her eyes as if she was trying to figure out the answer. "Nearly eleven years, I'd say. Right, sweetie?"

I was so caught off guard by her answer I couldn't help the nervous laughter that escaped as the other couple gave me a scolding look. The elevator dinged signaling our floor. We said our goodbyes and quickly made our way into the hallway. The doors had barely closed as Bella started howling with laughter.

"Oh my God, you should have seen your face," she croaked out between giggles.

I watched as her body doubled over in laughter, her hands placed on her thighs for support. I walked up towards her as her long brown hair shielded her face and threw her over my shoulder, swatting at her ass. Bella wiggled against me trying to free herself from my grip but her efforts were pretty weak because she could barely breathe between laughing and squealing.

I managed to get the door opened and walked over to the couch dumping her on it ass first. I sunk down next to her and she rested her head against my shoulder as her laugher began to quiet.

"You were right, you know?" I said placing a kiss at her temple as I smoothed her hair back.

"About what?"

"I've been yours since the first day I met you."

"Edward," she whimpered as she positioned her body towards mine and wrapped me in her arms.

We sat like that for a while, reminiscing about high school. She told me about what a shitty time she'd had at the prom. We talked about music and tried to stump the other one with lyrics from songs, choosing the most obscure bands we could.

"Ok, let's straighten up some and put your clothes away," Bella said as she climbed off the couch.

Bella folded up my laundry while I organized the mail that I'd let pile up on the table for the past few weeks. I was unloading the dishwasher when I heard her padding into the kitchen behind me.

"I am totally stealing these," she informed me holding up a pair of white boxer briefs from her index finger.

"No way in hell. They don't make Star Wars underwear like that anymore."

Bella laughed at me as I crossed my arms over my chest in mock protest.

"Fine, I didn't really want them anyway. I mean, it's kind of weird to have Luke over my heynow."

"Are you kidding me? These are awesome! Look at him he's pointing the blaster at any would-be attackers, and then you have Hans Solo and Leia flanking him on each thigh as back up."

"You get a lot of people trying to attack that area?"

"It could happen."

"You could always recruit me for your army. I'd be happy to be act as your personal bodyguard," Bella said, smiling sweetly before turning on her heel and taking the folded clothes into my bedroom.

Part of me wanted to follow her in there and tell her the underwear were all hers just so I could see her in them. The other part of me tried to remind the now louder and more aggressive side of my brain that that would only lead to us naked, then sex, and I was trying to make sure that I was completely ready.

_Well I know I'm ready down here….but since it seems like you've grown a vadge over the past couple of days maybe we should try and get you ready with a little Michael Bolton and a dozen roses._

We straightened up the rest of the living room and both grumbled about being hungry. I looked at the clock on the Tivo and realized it was almost six o'clock.

"You still haven't ever had any of Chicago's famous deep dish pizza, have you?"

"Nope, you have been complete fail at sharing your city."

"Well, I will rectify this situation right now. How does pizza and movies sound tonight?"

"Perfect," Bella answered as she sat on the couch letting out a contented sigh.

I quickly called Giordano's and ordered a large chopped salad and the Special stuffed pizza and told them to hold the green peppers. The kid taking my order told me they'd deliver it in 45 minutes to an hour.

"Alright, we have about an hour before the pizza gets here. Want to start a movie now or wait?"

"I've already found what we're watching." Bella said as she thrust a DVD box out for me to see.

A smile broke across my face as I read the title. "Damn, I love you." I kissed her on the cheek as I grabbed the box set of seasons one through three of Arrested Development. I loaded up the DVD player with the disc and grabbed us some drinks from the fridge.

Halfway through the third episode the pizza arrived and I quickly paid for it while Bella got us some more drinks. We both returned to the couch and tore into the pizza, leaving the poor salad untouched.

"Holy hell, Edward, why is this the first time I've ever had this? Have you been trying to hide it all for yourself?"

"Yeah, just like my Star Wars underwear. All mine."

"Well I guess it's a good thing I like it so much," Bella said with a bit of tension in her voice as she glanced over at me.

"Why?" I asked noticing the mood had shifted.

"I know last night when I got here you said we'd talk later, but you've also asked me to be open and honest with you and tell you everything I'm thinking. I've already figured out how we can solve the location issue. I can do a good bit of the work for our company remotely like handle the books and ordering, and calling suppliers and retailers. I think if I handled it right I'd only have to go up to Seattle once a month for a few days to deal with things there that Alice won't touch. Then you don't have to quit your job and we'll be together. We could live here, or somewhere else. Shit, I don't care if it's a cardboard box as long as you're there with me," Bella rambled on the excitement in her voice building.

I sat quietly letting her finish before I spoke. "You done?" I asked, and Bella nodded yes to my question. "There's one problem with your plan. It's _your_ plan," I said softly not wanting to hurt her, but at the same time wanting her to understand what I was trying to say.

She looked down at her hands and I saw her lip quiver slightly, causing my heart to break into a million pieces.

"I'm not upset, baby. It's just that we have to make these types of decisions _together_. I know I told you we'd wait to talk when you got here, and I really should have brought it up sooner. To be honest I've been putting off talking about it because I was having such a nice time just being with you and not worrying about everything else for once. Though, I do have a piece of information that you might find interesting," I said in a soft teasing tone, hoping to lighten the mood a bit.

"Well do tell, Mr. Cullen," she replied taking the bait, the tension leaving her features.

"Remember when we were in Seattle and I told you about the work I'd been doing for the non-profit company that was partnering with us? Well the initial data and interviews I had done were all so promising that they decided that they would need to make it more than just a partnership, but it's own separate position. They announced that they would be looking for someone to head it up. Since they were expanding the scope of the project they decided that they wanted to look for candidates around the entire United States, not just near Chicago. I'd actually already talked to my boss about it right before I left to meet you up in Boston--" Bella flinched at the mere mention of the word and I pulled her closer to me, wordlessly telling her it was alright.

"I met with the board, they loved my ideas and offered me the job. I'm taking two weeks to train my replacement, and then I officially start. I did ask Jane to stay on as my assistant, especially now since it's pretty much just me. I know I'm pretty anal and like things organized, but I couldn't handle it on my own."

"So will you guys be in the same building or have you started looking for an office?"

"I'm thinking I'm going to do most of my office work from bed," I said as I pretended to contemplate my suggestion.

"_What_?"

"We aren't going to have an office, especially with this being a non-profit we want to cut overhead any way we can. If I need to meet with prospective candidates I'd travel out to see them. The same goes for any companies that we might try to solicit donations from, I'd go to them. Everything Jane is going to be doing can be done from home. So really this means I can live _anywhere_."

"Anywhere?"

"That's what I said," I laughed at Bella's wide eyes and her mouth that hung slightly agape. I could see her trying to process everything I had just told her.

"Oh my God! Does this…are you saying…," she trailed off her excitement getting the better of her.

"Geez, Bella, I don't know. You seemed really excited about the pizza here in Chicago. I was thinking that we might want to talk about moving to Seattle, but I'm not sure you'll be up for it now," I teased.

"Fuck the pizza, Cullen!" Bella said as she grabbed a fistful of my sweater and pulled me towards her awaiting lips. Her kiss was hungry and urgent and my dick felt exactly the same way.

_Okay Buddy, are you gonna take off those manties you've been wearing so you can properly fuck that girlfriend of yours, or what?_

I knew if this went any further Bella would end up bent over the side of the couch in about 4.5 seconds. I really wanted to do that…_fuck_, how I wanted to do that, but I also knew that I had been waiting for the right time. I wanted to make sure there wasn't a single part of me I was shielding from her, in fear of being hurt.

I slowed the kiss and released the fist I'd made in her hair. Bella slowed down reluctantly, but I sensed she knew I wasn't ready and she wasn't going to push me. We continued to place soft kisses against the other's skin, as we cuddled in closer together.

"Alice!" Bella jumped up from the couch looking almost frenzied.

"Wow, just what every guy wants to hear when he's making out with his girlfriend - her saying another girl's name. Well, actually I guess that is pretty h-"

"Yeah, yeah two girls, one guy, we all know it's every man's fantasy. I meant I have to call her and tell her the news. Alice is going to flip her lid. This is just so amazing. We'll be closer to our families, and Rose and Emmett!"

"As happy as I am about the way everything worked out, to quote you from earlier 'I don't care if it's a cardboard box as long as you're there with me.'"

"Damn you Edward Cullen, and your ridiculously sweet ways." Bella leaned down and kissed my cheek before disappearing into the bedroom.

About two minutes later I heard squealing and "_I can't believe it either!_" and could only assume she'd tracked Alice down. I started to put away our dinner and take some dishes to the kitchen when I heard Bella behind me.

"What do you think you're doing? I don't know how many more opportunities I'll have to eat this pizza again. Hand it over."

We polished off the rest of the pizza and finally had a little of the salad to ease the guilt of all the carbs and fat we'd just consumed. We continued watching Arrested Development, and both of us snorted when Tobias asked "O-kay, who'd like a banger in the mouth?" and every time they'd call someone a chicken we'd get up and do a different impression like they did on the show.

I tried to get up from the couch to load up the last DVD, but when I went to lean forward Bella's head didn't budge. I peeked over and realized she'd fallen asleep against me. Her hair was covering one eye and it was just begging for me to smooth it away so I could look at her breathtaking face. Gently I brushed the hair away and watched as a contented smile crossed her face.

"Love you," she breathed and I wasn't sure if she was telling me or was dreaming. It didn't matter which it was, because I knew without a doubt that she did love me.

I gathered her into my arms and carried her to the bedroom. As I passed through the threshold of my door, I thought how badly I'd wanted her back in my bed with me over the past couple of weeks. The reminder of how broken and lifeless I'd felt sent a momentary pang of sadness through me.

I looked down at Bella sleeping in my arms and knew without a shadow of a doubt that the woman who I held now was not the same as the one in that hotel room. It was a given that we weren't always going to agree, and we both handled things differently, but we'd both been at our lowest point and retuned to one another, stronger and even more loving than before.

Kissing her forehead, I laid Bella down on the bed and just stood there staring at her for a few moments. I let the sight of her beautiful chestnut hair splayed across my pillow and her luminous face occupy my memory in place of the hurt and pain that still lingered on the edges.

Quietly, I walked into the bathroom and got ready for bed, feeling impatient the entire time to return to Bella. I walked back over to her side of the bed and decided that those pants couldn't be _that _comfortable to sleep in so I decided to take them off to ensure her a full restful night's sleep.

_Yeah…sure…you are so concerned with her sleeping habits. I must have missed the new warning by the Surgeon General? "Sleeping girlfriends are not to wear pants to bed with vadge-sporting boyfriends?" Admit it, you're taking those pants off because you're hoping for a little brown chicken, brown cow._

I pulled off the adorable blue and green argyle socks she was wearing and had to suppress the urge to laugh as she wiggled her toes from the sensation. I unbuttoned her jeans and started to pull them down over her hips, watching her face the entire time to make sure I wasn't waking her up. The denim slid down further and my knuckles grazed over her exposed skin…then across lace.

My eyes moved down to look at what my fingers were touching and I nearly came in my pants just from the fucking sight. Pink and white polka dots, lace and bows on the legs. It was probably the most innocent looking pair of underwear I'd ever seen. You couldn't see through them, they even came down a little onto her thighs. There was white lace around the top and bottom, as well as down the entire outside of each leg. The part that just completely did me in was the little tiny pink bow at the very bottom on both legs. It was so sweet and innocent…and fucking hot.

My dick literally twitched with need as I made myself finish taking her pants off, not being _nearly _as careful trying not to wake her as before. Apparently she was extremely tired. Even when I dropped her leg back on the bed as hard as I possibly could she didn't even move.

I racked my brain trying to think of a way I could wake her up and make, making it look like a total accident. The best I could come up with was jumping up and down on the bed and when she woke up telling her I forgot I didn't have a Tempur-pedic mattress. Clearly the lack of blood flow to my brain had impeded my thought process.

I pulled the covers up around her neck and took a deep breath to try to will my cock down just a little, then climbed in next to Bella and rolled to my side so I could watch her sleep. Soon the past twenty-four hours caught up with me and I could feel my eyes trying to shut. I leaned over and kissed Bella's cheek before moving onto my back.

Right as I was on the cusp of sleep I felt Bella's arm reach across me as she laid her head against my chest.

"Bella's bed," she murmured into my chest, referring to the name I'd given that spot some time ago. I stroked her hair and reveled in her sweet gardenia scent as I drifted off to sleep, my last thought being that I was glad I hadn't woken her up before because this was perfect.

The next morning I was awake before my alarm could start blaring in my ear. Bella was still sleeping like a log, so I climbed out of bed and grabbed some clothes on the way out, shutting the door behind me.

While I showered, I got to thinking. Bella had joked about never having had any Chicago deep dish in all the times she'd visited, and that spurred some ideas. Bella was going back to Miami tomorrow afternoon to help get ready for the move, but we still needed to discuss where we were going to be living in Seattle, as well as a few other logistical issues. Since we were both planners and enjoyed making a spreadsheet or two I decided I'd run out and get us some bagels so we could have a have a "working breakfast" and make our plan. After we got all the important stuff out of the way, we'd have the rest of her time here to go out and see things in the city I'd neglected to share on her previous visits.

I got dressed quickly and put the coffee pot on, opting for the Swiss Mocha Almond since I knew it was Bella's favorite. I grabbed a pen and paper and wrote her a note, leaving it next to her on the bed, so if she woke she wouldn't worry where I was.

_Morning sleepy-head. I ran out to get us some breakfast. The coffee is waiting for you in the kitchen. Go ahead and get dressed and when I get back we'll make our plans for Seattle._

_I love you, _

_E_

_p.s. Dress warmly._

There was a long line at the deli so it took me a little longer to get back than I'd expected. I heard music as I opened the door to the apartment, and smiled at Bella's choice of music for the day.

"Wow, The Promise Ring? Someone's in a good mood this morning," I chuckled as I sat the bag down in the kitchen.

"Yep." She answered behind me as she looked over my shoulder at the bagels and kissed me on the side of my neck.

_Who needs to see this city? It's windy. Now let's go fuck._

I turned around and placed a kiss against her neck the same way she had just done, only mine lingered. My lips opened and I licked down to her collarbone and then sucked her soft skin between my lips. Bella's head fell to the side for a moment before she snapped upright and stepped away.

"Wait a second, don't we have some planning to do?"

I groaned and took a step towards her, trying to catch her before she walked back into the living room.

"Hey, I wasn't the one who hopped out of bed this morning. Who knows what would have happened if you would have stayed in there longer. You wanted a planning session, well Serious-Business-Bella is here and she even made a spreadsheet," Bella said as she cocked her head towards the laptop on the coffee table.

"Bella," I scolded, "why would you talk so dirty to me if you want me to calm down? If you start talking about rows and formula auditing we'll never get anything done!"

She shook her head at me as I joined her on the couch with the plate of bagels and cream cheese. I looked at the computer screen and realized she really hadn't been kidding about Serious-Business-Bella. She had five tabs open with everything from houses to apartments. She had Google maps open and was looking at the street view of each location. I quirked my eyebrow at her and looked from the laptop and back to her.

"What, I got excited. So, I'm not sure if you're going to have time to make it out to Seattle before I move out there, and I wouldn't feel right if we can't pick out where we're going to live together. Rose and Emmett had offered me their guest house while I figured out what I was doing. I'm sure they wouldn't mind if it was the two of us."

"Ehh…I don't know. I'm not sure I like the idea of Owen being so close to you. That kid is quite the ladies' man," I laughed remembering the crush he seemed to have on Bella. "Are you going back to Seattle again before you actually make the final move?"

"Yeah, Alice and I are both heading up there two weeks from Wednesday. We need to approve all of the remodeling they are doing for the boutique. I've already booked our tickets, and we're only planning on being out there two days," Bella answered as she scrolled through the calendar on her phone.

I looked at everything I had scheduled and realized it would be perfect for me. "I'll have finished training my replacement and they've given me a week to get my office set up and everything. If I'm going to be working from home most of the time, I'm pretty sure finding said home would be needed for an office."

Bella showed me some of the places she'd already looked at, and we browsed a few more websites looking for more. We narrowed down our possibilities and Bella added them to the spreadsheet so we could update it when we called about the places. I went ahead and booked my flight to Seattle as well.

"So what did you have planned for the rest of the day?" Bella asked after we'd gotten all of the details ironed out.

"I started thinking about what you said last night, about never having had the pizza before. I realized there are a lot of things here we've never done and since this looks like your last visit here I wanted to show you around."

"Then let's get out of here." Bella said as she grabbed my hand standing up from the couch.

We made it more of a driving tour since I had so much I wanted to show and it was spread out across the city. We did stop at Millennium Park so I could get a picture of her next to the bean, then continued to make our way around the city, enjoying the skyline and the amazing architecture. By the time we'd walked around Wrigley field, and Bella had gotten her dad a Cubs shirt--that she was pretty sure he'd burn, since he was Mariner's fan through and through--we decided it was time for lunch.

As we walked up to a little blue building that looked more like a hole in the wall, I could see Bella eyeing me questioningly.

"Trust me," I replied to her silent question.

I ordered us two Red Hot's - all the way, a large fry and two Dr. Peppers.

"Who puts tomato slices on a hot dog?" she asked looking down at the authentic Chicago style hotdog I put in front of her.

"They do here," I answered, before taking a big bite and humming in pleasure for the full effect.

I watched her hesitantly take a bite, and chastised myself for my food choice for lunch. Apparently I was a glutton for punishment. As soon as Bella wrapped her full lips around the hotdog and moaned in pleasure--as I knew she would because they are just that fucking good--I was sure I'd be stuck in my seat for a while, trying to think of old ladies jazzercising to get my hard-on under control.

"I will never doubt you again. You were right this is so good."

We finished our lunch, and luckily I was able to get my situation under control enough that walking back to the car wouldn't land me in jail. I held Bella's hand as we made our way to the car, wondering why we hadn't done this before.

_Uhhh, because you were too busy fucking like bunnies and cuddling to go outside…you know, back when you used to be a man. What did that song she was listening to this morning say? "…we could do more outdoor things, if we weren't so busy getting busy…" Yep, sounds about right._

I leaned down to kiss Bella and she dodged my lips. I shot her a questioning look as she put her hand over her mouth.

"As good as that lunch was, it had onions and peppers and like a million other things on it. I'm sure my breath is horrible."

"Well my breath is just as bad, so they'll cancel each other out," I said in her ear, knowing it was hard for her to say no when I did that.

I kissed her lips softly and circled her waist in my arms, pulling her legs up off the ground. She laughed against my mouth and I hugged her tighter to my body before setting her back down.

"Don't worry, baby, I've got some mints in the car," I teased as I opened the passenger door for her earning me a light punch in the arm.

We made the short trip over to Navy Pier, driving down Lake Shore Drive so Bella could see the lake. She searched out the mints I had in the car, making a big show of taking two and then in turn handing me three.

Bella's eyes widened, and she leaned forward in her seat as we pulled into the parking lot which was about a block away from the pier.

"Please tell me we're going there," she nearly squealed as she pointed towards the huge pier, but specifically at the enormous ferris wheel.

"That's the plan. I've only been here one time before and I've never ridden any of the rides. It's kind of a date thing, if you know what I mean."

"I'm glad you brought me. We'll both get to do something for the first time here."

We stopped and grabbed a brochure so we could decide what all we wanted to do while we were there. It was a beautiful day and the sun was shining, but we were right on the water and Chicago in April is still pretty chilly.

"Holy shit, there's a huge funhouse here, and we _have_ to go on the ferris wheel and the wave swinger," Bella's voice rose with her enthusiasm.

"Okay," I chuckled as I watched her look down the pier trying to figure out her plan of attack. "Let's walk around a little bit first and look at the lake. Then we can go the ferris wheel and the swings before it gets too late. Once the sun starts to go down it's going to get pretty cold. When we're done with those we can head down to the funhouse since it's all inside."

"Come on, time is wasting," Bella said as she clasped my hand and started pulling me down the walkway of the pier.

We looked at all the huge boats and yachts that were docked, making up stories about the people that owned them. When we reached the end of the pier we looked out over the expansive water of the lake. The sun reflected on the smooth water, and for the first time I actually realized I was moving from here.

I knew I'd miss it; the city was amazing and I'd truly enjoyed my time here. As if reading my mind somehow Bella stepped up behind me, wrapping her arms around my chest as I leaned against the railing.

"Are you sure that you want to leave Chicago? I really meant it when I said I'd move here."

I turned to face her, placing my hands on her shoulders and looking directly into her eyes. "I am going to miss it, but being here doesn't even begin to compare to anywhere that you might be. This is about a new beginning for us, with our relationships and careers, and I have never wanted anything more in my entire life."

She nodded her head in understanding before burying her face into my neck as she told me how much she loved me. As much as I loved hearing her say it, I loved the way she would tell me wordlessly when she held me like that.

"Now, didn't someone say something about a ferris wheel before it got too cold?" Bella asked as she pulled back slightly and looked up into my eyes, a playful grin spreading across her face.

We decided to go on the swings first. I tried not to let on, but my stomach was in knots just from the sight of it. It was over forty feet tall and had about fifty swings hanging from the ornate top. Bella was nearly bouncing from excitement and she gave me a quick peck on the cheek before running over to choose a swing.

I reluctantly climbed into my swing, then double and triple checked the safety bar after the initial half-assed check of the attendant. I looked around and realized that when we lifted up we'd be hanging over a huge pond. I tried to reason with myself that falling into a pond rather than plummeting to concrete would afford us the best chance of survival.

I was running different scenarios in my head that would need to be followed in the case of an emergency as the large contraption started to lift us off the ground. I felt my stomach drop and I suddenly felt like the Chicago dog "all the way" may not have been the best idea for lunch.

_Oh, is poor wittle baby Eddie gonna blow chunks cause he's scared of the big bad ride? Poor thing. Maybe you should just let your girlfriend ride it alone, since she obviously has bigger balls than you._

I gritted my teeth as we started our first time around, the swing starting to move further away from the machine as we picked up speed. I tried to look behind so I could see Bella but I wasn't able to see her from my position . We continued to pick up speed, the wires moving out more and more horizontal with each pass.

The food I'd had only and hour earlier started churning in my stomach and I began to panic at the idea of barfing on a ride that kids were handling just fine.

_Alright, cupcake you better make sure you don't barf right now while your girlfriend and little kids are watching, or I'll be forced to revoke you man card indefinitely._

I tried to take a deep breath as another wave of nausea passed over me, and then I heard it. Bella's laughter rang in my ear, light and airy. She was screaming in delight, and instantly my nerves calmed. I focused on the sound, closing my eyes and imagining the look on her face and how her hair would be blowing out around her.

"Open your eyes, Edward!" Bella's voice called out, pulling me from my thoughts.

I willed my lids up and cautiously looked around. My chair was so far out now I could see along the entire pier and out over the lake. I looked in the other direction and from this new vantage point could see Bella as well. She looked just as I'd imagined her, and my heart now raced from the thoughts I was having about her, rather than the fear of the ride.

We both laughed and smiled for the remainder of the ride. As the speed began to decrease I joined in the chorus of "nooo's" and "one more time's" with the rest of the passengers. Finally, we stopped completely and were lowered back to the ground, and waited for the signal to lift the bar from across our swings.

My legs felt slightly rubbery as I walked over to Bella and made sure she didn't have any trouble getting down. I nearly wanted to ask her if she wanted to ride again, but I couldn't bear not to touch her anymore. I walked us out of the small gate and over to the line for the ferris wheel.

It had already started to get colder so there weren't a lot of people weren't that interested in going 150 feet up in the air. This was great news for me, because it meant that Bella and I got our own gondola.

The large wheel carried us up higher and I pulled Bella closer to me, wrapping my arms around her shoulders to ensure she stayed warm. We looked out over the pier and the large expanse of water that stretched beyond it. The sky was beginning to turn a light orange as the sun had begun it's decent for the day.

As we reached the very top of the ride I moved my free hand up to Bella's cheek, slowly caressing her soft skin with my thumb. She licked her lips lightly, anticipating the kiss as much as I was. My mouth hovered above hers for a moment, both of us breathing the other in before finally closing the distance.

Her mouth moved with mine, kissing me gently as she pivoted her entire body towards me and wove her fingers in my hair. I traced her full lips slowly with my tongue and she whimpered softly as her breathing started coming in faster gasps. She opened her mouth to me and I deepened the kiss further as I tried to pull her soft body even closer to mine.

My hand that had been around her shoulder started a slow track back to the front of Bella's body. I had just traced her collarbone when I heard catcalls and whistles. Her head jerked away from mine both of us looking around startled. Then I realized that we had been so caught up in making out we hadn't even noticed we were going down by the crowd.

Bella's face reddened as we made it all the way to the bottom and passed the ride operator. The shouts and whistles increased as we got closer and I tried to hide the smile that was threatening to break through. Bella looked at me and shook her head in mock exasperation, notifying me that I had not hid the smile as well as I thought.

The ferris wheel went around three more times, and by the time we'd exited the car Bella's blush had retreated and she laughing along with me.

We stopped and got a lemonade to share as we walked down the pier, and made our way into the fun house, both of us pleasantly surprised that it wasn't overly crowded. We finished the rainbow tunnel and the elevator drop and moved into the mirror maze section. Bella and I started in through the first entrance; I held her hand softly behind mine as I tried to feel my way along one wall of mirrors.

I was so busy thinking about the huge section of glass to my right, I didn't think about having any in front of me. My body made contact with the mirror, catching me totally off guard and sending my glasses to the ground. Bella ran smack into my back and I prayed she hadn't stepped on my glasses.

Looking at my feet I squinted to try and locate where they had fallen. Bella shot down to the floor, saving the fallen frames right before I stepped on them. We both started howling with laughter as we realized this was going to be a hell of a lot harder than we had thought.

As we turned down yet another row of mirrors I saw a little girl standing up against the side of the wall crying. I tightened my grip on Bella's hand and quickly walked toward to her. Her cheeks were red and tear stained and she was quietly hiccupping now, obviously having been crying for a while.

"Sweetie, are you alright?" I asked, kneeling down in front of her.

"I can't find my mommy," her tiny voice quivered and new tears threatened to start rolling down her cheeks.

"It's okay. We'll help you find her," I said gently looking to Bella and back to the little girl.

"Hi, I'm Bella and this is Edward. What's your name, honey?" Bella asked crouching down next to me smiling kindly.

"Rachel."

"Alright, Rachel, how about we find our way out of here, then we'll go to the information counter and see if they can help find your mom. Okay?" I asked as she wiped tears from her eyes.

"Okay."

"Great! Now, it's a little confusing in here and we really need your help do you think you could hold our hands while we're walking?"

She silently gripped my hand in her tiny one, surprising me completely by how tightly she squeezed. I looked over to Bella and smiled as she reached out and held Rachel's other hand. We turned around and headed back the way we'd started.

Knowing that a little girl was scared and wanted her mom seemed to help me remember which way to go much better than before. Bella and I asked her questions as we walked through to maze, trying to put her at ease as we made our way out. She told us all about her class and that she was in second grade. Snow White was her favorite Disney princess, but her close second was Ariel. I asked her why and she told me it was because she wasn't a fan of blond hair. I told her I wasn't either, throwing a smile towards Bella.

By the time we'd made our way out of the maze, Rachel was laughing and singing us songs that she and her friends liked to make up. We went to the information desk and they paged her mother and gave her a cookie while she waited.

The employee at the desk told us everything was fine and there was no need for us to wait until her mom showed up. I looked down at Rachel and the fear was starting to return to her eyes.

"Well, I'm sure Rachel's fine, but I'm not. She has to teach me the rest of the songs that her and her friends made up," I said loudly pretending to be speaking only to the woman at the information desk.

"I can do that!" Rachel exclaimed jumping up from the bench and coming over to me.

We'd only gotten through two songs when a woman came rushing up towards the desk, her eyes wild and frantic. Instantly I knew it was Rachel's mother, and the moment she laid eyes on her daughter a sob broke from her chest as she grabbed the tiny girl up in her arms and squeezed her in a hug.

After a few moments of telling Rachel how worried she'd been, and more hugs and kisses, the woman looked from her daughter's face and it dawned on her we'd been there the whole time.

"I'm so sorry, I'm Melissa, Rachel's mom, did the two of you find her?"

"Yep. That's Edward, and that's Bella," Rachel answered before I could say anything.

"Thank you so much, I don't even know what to say," Melissa said as she still clutched Rachel against her.

"It was all our pleasure. Bye Rachel, it was so nice to meet you. Thanks for teaching me all those cool songs," I said looking down into her big green eyes.

I saw her whisper in her mother's ear and Melissa broke into a big smile before setting Rachel on the floor and replying. "Ask him."

"Edward, can I have a hug?"

"Of course you can," I bent down and wrapped my arms around her tiny body.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"Do I get one?" Bella ask as she kneeled on the floor, her arms opened as she waited.

"Yes," Rachel answered as she nearly tackled Bella, hugging her tightly around her neck.

We said our goodbyes and Bella and I decided we'd had enough excitement. We walked out through the front doors, both of us surprised by how dark and cold it had gotten. Without even realizing it we'd been in there for nearly two and a half hours.

I started to turn so we could head back down the pier and Bella stopped me and pulled me over to the large brick planter. We both sat on the wall and she turned to face me.

"How are you so amazing with kids?" She asked with genuine curiosity.

"I don't know. I didn't really think I was. I like talking to them because they're usually so honest. They want you to be patient and listen to them, but that's about it," I answered with a shrug.

"You're too modest. You handled that situation better than ninety percent of the people I know."

"Do you like kids, Bella?"

"Of course."

"Do you want them?"

Bella looked out across the water and I could see in her eyes as she thought about my question.

"I've always _wanted _children, but if I'm being honest I've always been so scared that'd I'd fuck them up some how and they'd end up with some absurd issues like I did."

I felt my chest tighten as I listened to her words, knowing now why I'd been holding back. This was the kind of thing that was going to break my heart all over again. Before I could say anything Bella continued talking, her eyes still deep in thought.

"But now that I can see things clearly, I know that isn't actually the truth. As long as I love them with all of my heart, make sure to communicate freely with them, and have you by my side to raise them we'll all be fine. We have so much love between us, I know that we're meant to share it."

My heart leapt at her words and in that moment I realized this was the last piece I'd unknowingly been waiting for her to say so I could allow my guard down. I looked into her warm chocolate eyes and I saw all the love and promise I felt reflected back to me.

"Bella, can we leave now?" I asked, my voice was not urgent, but raw with emotion. This was more that just lust and desire, we were positively consumed with each other. We walked to the car silently, never rushing or feeling frantic to return home. This was not just about what our bodies wanted, but it was more about what we had to give to the other person.

We drove home in comfortable silence as Bella leaned across the armrest and wrapped her arms around my waist for the duration of the trip. I rubbed up and down her back with my free hand, enjoying the way she seemed to relax further with each pass of my fingers.

Once we'd parked the car, I actually considered pulling Bella across my seat to help her out of the car so I wouldn't have to lose contact her for even once second. I reluctantly opened my door and Bella released her arms and waited for me to open her door.

I ushered her into the building and realized I was holding onto her arm and guiding her much the same way we'd seen Mr. Steel escort his wife into the elevator. Her body leaned against mine completely as we waited for the doors to open at our floor. My desire began to build upon itself now, as well as my need to show her just how wholly I loved her.

I led her slowly by the hand to my bedroom and turned to face her once we were next to the bed. My lips found hers on their own and I kissed her softly before pulling away to look at her sparkling brown eyes.

"I didn't know it was even possible to love you more than I did before, but I do. Everything we went through has made us so much stronger. I can see that you've opened yourself to me completely and I can really do the same for you. This, right here, is how it was always meant to be. We both always knew that we had each others hearts, but now we can be confident that we both have every single piece of them." I moved my hand up to her chest placed it over her pounding heart.

She picked up my hand and brought the palm to her lips, kissing it softly and squeezed it before gently releasing it. Her legs moved her back a few feet from me, but her eyes never left mine.

Bella unbuttoned her sweater and slid it down her graceful arms. She continued with the rest of her clothing until everything had been removed. This wasn't a seduction; we both knew there was no need for that. This was a promise we were making to one another; to be completely open to each other and to leave nothing hidden. She stood there in front of me totally open to me, baring her body and her soul.

My heart hammered loudly in my ears, responding to the onslaught of emotions I had running through me. I began to discard each article of clothing, just as Bella had done. Soon we both stood there bare in every sense of the word.

I watched Bella's body as she walked over to bed and laid down. She looked at me expectantly and reached out her hand, silently asking me to join her. I climbed on the bed and moved directly above her.

Bella and I had made love numerous times, but tonight I was going to explore her body slowly and try to learn every single detail I could. I closed the space between us and placed my hands on her shoulders. I gently ran my hands down her arms all the way to her fingers, watching her face the entire time so I knew what she enjoyed the most.

My hands returned to her shoulders, and took the same time and care traveling down the sides of her body, all the way to her feet. I continued my exploration and my hands moved down across her breasts and she whimpered my name softly. As I worked my hands back up her body from her feet, my fingers traced the inside of her leg and met at the juncture between her thighs.

I pressed my fingers against her, silently asking her to open her legs to me. She moved each leg out and my hands slipped in past her thighs. She was so warm and wet that my fingers slid across her skin with virtually no effort at all.

I used my entire hand to cup against her, only applying the lightest amount of pressure with my palm. I began sliding my middle finger against her entrance, moving slowly and committing every touch to my memory.

I removed my hand from her and replaced it with my mouth. I only used my lips to trace across her wet flesh. I continued like this until Bella began to writhe against me and the sounds she made changed from contended to needy.

I slowly allowed my tongue to lick at her glistening skin. My eyes nearly rolled back into my head from the taste of her in my mouth. I always loved the way she tasted, but tonight there was something deeper to it, sweeter and more provocative all at the same time.

My hands returned between her legs as I opened her wider to allow me more access with my mouth. I licked at her flesh leisurely, moving back and forth over and over again. I flattened my tongue and began to work my movements higher. The moment I came in contact with her swollen sensitive skin Bella's legs shook against my chest. I pressed harder and this time her entire body shook.

I alternated between circling her clit with my tongue and sucking it softly between my lips. I could feel Bella teeter on the edge of exploding so I began to slide my middle finger inside her, selfishly wanting to feel her body when she came.

"No, Edward, I have to come with you. This has to happen together." Bella nearly sobbed as she grabbed at my hand and pulled me up to stand.

I knew instantly what she meant. In a way this was our first time together, our first time sharing every part of who we were and sealing that promise to each other I positioned my hard cock at her entrance and leaned down to kiss her before moving anymore. "I love you so much Bella, and I promise, I will let you know just how much everyday."

Bella's eyes glimmered as she cupped my face in her hands and spoke softly. "I promise you will always have every single part of me, and I will never cause you to mistrust me again."

I slowly pushed into her as our promises to one another filled the room. We both grunted softly as I repeated the movement just as slowly as before. Her hands reached up and wrapped behind my neck, pulling my mouth to hers. We kissed tenderly as our bodies continued moving at the same pace.

Being inside of Bella this way felt different than any of the other times before. We had always fit perfectly, our bodies complimenting the other, or desire and need always seeming to match. But pressed so closely against her now, moving in and out of her warm wet flesh, I felt that I could continue indefinitely, holding my own orgasm at bay just to stay this close to her.

We continued like this for what might have been hours or just minutes; time had ceased to matter. Bella moved her hands from my neck and ran them down my back, letting the rest on my ass. She pressed against me with barely any pressure at all, but I read her movements and immediately pushed deeper into her.

Her head rolled to the side and her breaths were coming in quick gasps. Each thrust was deeper and faster and she became impossibly more wet around me. I groaned as I felt her tightening and I no longer tried to stop the inevitable.

"God, Bella, I love you more than I can even think to say," I babbled incoherently as I pushed into her one last time feeling her close around me as she screamed out my name, and I came deep inside of her.

I could feel myself continuing to pulse in her as her body refused to release me yet. I lowered my arms so I was nearly lying on top of her, not ready to pull out of her yet.

Her eyes drew me into their warm chocolate depths and I saw our future spread out ahead of us; all the love and happiness we still had to experience. I let go of any lingering anger or hurt I may have had as I stared into those eyes. Everything that we had gone through had been for a reason, and my love for Bella Swan was now immeasurable.

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A/N: This chapter is brought to you by The Promise Ring's "Happiness Is All the Rage", and TFX who is pretty sure that heaven must be similar to watching Arrested Development and eating Giordano's stuffed pizza with GeekWard.**

**We know there have been some pretty sad chapters lately, but we've moved on to happier times, so go listen to the title song from the chapter because it is guaranteed to make you forget about the sad stuff. Find the link below:  
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_**Where you can find all of Pkitten21's O/S's:**_

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**The first round of voting is open for FML. pkitten's story will not be featured until the second round on Feb. 25th, but check out the C2 at: ****http://www**** . fanfiction . net/community/FML_Contest_Fics/77195/99/0/1/ to read and review your faves.**

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	28. For Me This Is Heaven

**Things are winding down, dear readers. We only have one more chapter to go, and then the epilogue…and maybe a little something extra for your reading pleasure.**

**For anyone interested in a little more geeky glasses wearing Edward, or perhaps a little bit of a 50's Greaserward, keep us on author alert. Shortly we will be posting a five chapter short featuring Geekward and Geekella (courtesy of pkitten21) for our very special friend mcc101180's winning auction from last fall's Support Stacie Auction, and after tying up a few other loose ends we will start work on our new project featuring CryBabyward.**

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight…we just make it naughtier…**

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**Chapter 28 – For Me This Is Heaven**

**(BPOV)**

I turned the water on, letting the shower heat up for a couple of minutes before I stepped into the stall. I wasn't in any rush, and the hot water felt refreshing after the long morning I'd had helping Edward with last minute details before the benefit dinner this evening. I let all of the tension flow down the drain as I thought about how far we'd come over the past nine months. _I can't believe it's already December._

After moving cross-country, and setting up two businesses, our first Fall Fashion Week in Seattle had been an enormous success. The boutique was thriving, and we were getting ready to choose the location for the second of our three boutiques. On top of the success Alice and I had realized, Edward's non-profit charity was coming together just as he had hoped. We were fortunate that everything had fallen into place so smoothly.

Some people might have thought it was too risky, too soon for us to move in together after the damage I had done to our relationship in March, but we knew it was the right thing to do. We had settled into a routine where we made it a priority to talk every evening about what was going on in our lives, and while I was learning to let go of my feelings and concerns, and how to relinquish my need for control, Edward had learned not to hesitate on calling me out when I held back. He was no longer afraid to press an issue, to get me to open up about my opinions and feelings. He was my rock, my partner, my equal, helping me move forward and not revert to my old habits.

I finally turned off the water and quickly dried myself before reaching for my robe on the hook beside the shower…_my_ shower…_our_ shower…in _our_ house- it was a completely satisfying thought. I smiled to myself and thought back to the first time we had seen our home, and known it was the one.

Before I had left Chicago to fly back to Miami, we had agreed to talk every night to keep each other appraised of any developments concerning the move and anything affecting our upcoming visit to Seattle. Although I missed his physical presence, just knowing that he was still there, and just as in love with me as before all the hurt I'd caused, gave me a sense of peace and the ability to cope with our current, temporary separation.

Preparations kept us all quite busy and before I knew it Alice, Edward, and I had all arrived in Seattle. We sped to the boutique to drop Alice off to oversee the remodeling of the shop and her and Jasper's apartment; then Edward and I headed out for a whirlwind house hunting trip with our Realtor.

Since this was such a short trip, we had to cram as many appointments in as possible. We had tried to make things easier on ourselves by sending a list of possibilities to Aro, our Realtor, from the spreadsheet we'd compiled in Chicago, and he had then narrowed down and expanded upon it based on our preferences until we were satisfied with the list of choices we had to visit. Regardless of how prepared we tried to be, it still exhausted and drained us both mentally and physically by the end of the day. Fortunately, Emmett and Rose had asked us to stay with them during our trip, and once the kids were in bed for the night we had finally been able to wind down. Edward and Emmett had decided to head to the big boy's playroom, while the girls and I relaxed in the living room with some of Rose's specialty cocktails.

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"Ali, I don't know how you and Jasper got so lucky. I feel like there is no way we will ever find the right place," I said, trying not to sound defeated.

"I'm sure you'll find something, but I understand. It's so hard to compete with perfection," she responded with a giggle.

I picked up a pillow from Rose's couch and whipped it at her head. "Perfection my ass! If it was perfect you wouldn't have to remodel it before you move in."

"It _will be _perfection when I'm done with it!" She picked up the pillow and threw it right back at me.

"Watch the drinks ladies! Don't make me break out the sippy cups for you two."

"Yes, mother." Alice and I stuck our tongues out at Rose as she rejoined me on the couch.

"Please, Bella, you know I couldn't live in a place with white pressboard cabinets from the eighties, and you wouldn't either."

"Yeah, Bella, you saw the cabinetry in that place." Rose shuddered and placed another round of drinks in front of us.

"You're right. They were hideous." I took a sip of Rose's delicious homemade Mojito, savoring the flavor. "I just don't understand how someone can ask hundreds of thousands of dollars for a home that still has the original harvest gold appliances and wallpapered paneling that were installed when it was built. Is it too much to ask to find a place that has everything I want and is move-in ready? I don't want to have to spend thousands of dollars on repairs for a place that I'm already signing away the rights to my first-born child to own."

"When you find the right place, it won't matter. Right, Alice?" Rose looked at me with a smile. "So what have you looked at anyway?"

"Mostly condos near the boutique. There are a lot of vintage buildings in that area of town that have the same nostalgic feel that we like about Edward's building back in Chicago. They've all had great views of the Seattle skyline, which is a plus, but nothing really just… _clicked_ for us. Nothing felt like home. I didn't think this was going to be so hard."

"Don't worry, Bella." Alice patted my knee. "You'll find something tomorrow I'm sure of it, and if you don't, I'm sure Owen's offer to share his bunk bed will still be on the table."

Rose and Alice dissolved into giggles, and I covered my face with my hands at the memory of the look Owen had given Edward when he offered me the use of his extra bunk. As far as Owen was concerned, Edward was clearly on his own.

"As long as he gets to keep the top bunk, he'd love to share his room with you. I think Edward might have to find someplace else, but you'd be more than welcome, I'm sure of it!" Rose said desperately trying to keep a straight face before bursting into laughter again.

I knew I must have been beet red. I was thoroughly embarrassed by Owen's crush, but couldn't help but laugh at his boldness.

"Don't tell me you're actually thinking about taking Owen up on his offer, Bella." Edward chuckled as he came up behind me and leaned over the back of the sofa. "'Cause there is no way I can compete with bunk beds. I mean really, who could?"

"I'm sorry, Edward." I looked at him with the most serious expression I could manage. "He has something you just can't offer. He said he would share his Transformers with me."

He leaned forward and spoke quietly into my ear so the others couldn't hear. "If you're that into Transformers, I suppose I could be persuaded to let Megatron out to play…"

The tone of his voice melted my insides. _Alright, if that's the game you want to play…_ I leaned my head back so I could look him in the eye. "Megatron, eh? I can't be entirely certain since it's been a couple of weeks, but if I remember correctly it's more like a Minicon…"

He looked at me in mock-horror before nuzzling back into my ear. "Then I guess I'll just have to refresh your memory. Would you care to join me in the guest house, Arcee?"

"You know I can't say no to you when you talk nerdy to me." He had me completely at his mercy. Even though I was exhausted from our day of traveling and house hunting it had been two long weeks without his touch, and I was ready to take advantage of the short time we had.

"Looks like we've lost the Autobots for the evening." Rose said brining me out of my Edward induced haze. "Why don't you two take your kinky selves out of here and go defile my guest house with your perverse role playing games, I think we've heard enough about Edward's Minicon for a lifetime."

I fell back against the arm of the couch and covered my face with one of the throw pillows to try to hide my embarrassment. I should know by now to be careful what I say around Rose's Super Mom hearing, but I couldn't resist Edward's teasing.

"Come on, Bella." Edward laughed and grabbed one of my hands pulling me up off the couch. "These losers are just jealous of the diversity in our sex life."

I walked towards the door ahead of him and looked over my shoulder when he gave my hand a squeeze. He winked, and I knew he couldn't resist getting one more jab in before we shut the door.

"If I wear my glasses do I get to be Captain Witwicky this time?" He asked in a loud voice. The last thing I heard before the door shut was a chorus of groans and Emmett saying something about never being able to play Transformers with Owen again.

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We'd walked back to the guest house hand in hand discussing the plans for the next morning and fell into each other as soon as we'd made it inside. Between having spent the last few weeks apart and our bit of wordplay in the house, we hadn't been about to let our exhaustion stop us from enjoying each other while we had the chance.

Our exhaustion muted the sense of urgency that would normally have consumed us and led instead to soft touches, and whispered words. We'd fallen asleep in each other's arms completely content in the knowledge that we were exactly where we were supposed to be at the end of the day… together.

I turned on my flat iron to warm up, and while I started to apply my make-up I thought about how things had changed for us during that second day of house hunting.

Edward and I had gotten up early and snuck out for a private breakfast. As much as we loved our friends, we had needed time alone to discuss the properties we'd seen the previous day without the distraction of Rose and Emmett's busy household.

Even though we had been in complete agreement that nothing we had seen so far seemed right for us, we were able to narrow down some of the choices we had yet to look at, based off what we knew we definitely didn't like about the places we'd already viewed. We had been at the last property on our list, and Aro, our agent, had excused himself for a call while we took a look around and discussed what we had seen.

We had stood silently beside a window looking out over the view of the city that the property afforded when Edward had taken my hand and given it a squeeze.

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"We don't have to settle, Bella."

I looked at him and sighed and he squeezed my hand again. He took my hand and started tracing the lines of my fingers as he spoke.

"Bella, this isn't just going to be our first place together. This is going to be our first _home_." His breath caught for a moment and he furrowed his brow taking a deep breath before he continued. "We can't settle for something that doesn't feel right. Whatever we buy is going to be ours…it's going to be…the place where we start our family. It's going to be our future. Even if that means it's just the two of us for a few years, I want it to feel like ours, not just that we own it. It needs to feel like a home."

I stopped the nervous movements of his hands, clasping his tightly between my own. "I understand, and I feel the same way. We'll keep looking until we find the right place."

"Sorry if I'm interrupting…" Aro smiled as he approached us. "I know you're both tired, and that nothing we've seen thus far has piqued your interest enough to make an offer, but, if I may, I'd like to ask you to trust me one last time."

We both nodded and looked at him, waiting for him to continue. "I just got a call from a friend of mine, and they've informed me about something that's about to come on the market. I think you might be interested in it, but it's different from everything we've seen over the last two days, and it's a bit farther out from the boutique. Personally, I think it will be worth your while if you're willing to take one more chance."

I looked at Edward and shrugged. We'd come all this way, I didn't think one more would hurt, especially since we hadn't seen anything we'd liked yet. He nodded and answered for the both of us. "Lead the way. It definitely won't hurt to take a look."

We made a quick stop to pick up a set of keys and made our way along the bay.

"Like I said this is different than anything you've looked at. I think you'll really like it." Aro pulled to a stop along the waterfront overlooking a beautiful view of the bay and the I-5 bridge.

I looked at Edward and raised an eyebrow in confusion. There was no way we could afford something on the waterfront. We were prepared to drop quite a bit of money on our down payment, but I knew this area of the city was well beyond our means. "Aro, are you sure this is going to be in our price range?"

"Absolutely. This house belonged to a friend's parents. They recently passed away and my friend can't cover the mortgage. The house is going into foreclosure, but is going to be available as a short sale, which means the bank is willing to take a small loss on it. Not only could you get it for less than the assessed value, but the bank is also only looking to recoup the remaining value of the mortgage. It's a steal."

We followed him as he led us across a small parking area and down to a path leading to a dock. "This home comes with the two stalls in the garage you see to your left-"

"Aro?" Edward asked, interrupting him. "Is this a houseboat?"

"Of course." He smiled and continued to lead us down a dock to a two-story white houseboat. "I told you, you're going to love this place."

Edward and I looked at each other not quite knowing what to say, so we just followed him as he spouted off facts about the property. We had never considered even looking at waterfront homes, as anything that would be big enough was well out of our price range, and anything that we could afford we would most likely outgrow before we were ready to upgrade.

"As you can see this home is two stories, built in nineteen eighty-four with three bedrooms and two baths for a total of a little over two thousand square feet; which I don't have to tell you is generous for a houseboat." He unlocked the door. "Take a look around while I check to see if one of these keys opens the garage."

Edward took one of my hands in his and slowly pushed the door open. I looked up at him feeling a tingle of anticipation that I hadn't had since we had gotten to Seattle and started our search the day before.

It was beautiful inside; open and airy. The far wall was almost made up of floor to ceiling windows, letting the daylight in and giving us a spectacular view of the bay. Neither one of us said much, as it was all a bit overwhelming.

Edward squeezed my hand and led me to the end of the room where there was a set of French doors leading out to the back deck and a large bedroom to the right.

"That would make an excellent office, don't you think? I mean there's so much light coming in those windows…" His voice was hushed, the tone serious, and yet filled with a hint of wonder.

"Are you sure you wouldn't get distracted by the view?" I teased, looking up at him. His smile was so beautiful.

"There's only one view that distracts me, Bella, and that wouldn't be it." He lifted our entwined hands up and kissed the back of my palm.

I smiled and tilted my head to the side. "Shall we check out the rest?"

"Definitely." He gave another quick kiss to my hand and led me up the stairs.

The upper level contained a large master suite and the third bedroom, both of which were spacious and inviting. The dining room, kitchen, and living room were all connected, creating one large open space. It felt very welcoming and comfortable, and again we were awed by the amount of light let in by the windows.

I admired the kitchen, captivated by the extensive cabinetry and high-end appliances, and although it was not the gourmet set-up that Esme had back in Forks, it was a much better space than what I was used to using. It was open to not only the living room, but an even more spectacular view than we'd seen downstairs. It was almost like the entire back of the house was made of windows.

_This is the one…_

"Bella, this is it. This is the one." Edward led me over to the windows in the living room. "You feel it right? I mean, it has almost everything we wanted…but more too."

I looked out over the bay, standing next to the man I had come to love more than life, and everything just felt right. I felt more at peace here than I had anywhere else I'd ever been. I could see our Christmas tree set up in the corner nook by the fireplace, my dad trying to fish off the deck downstairs…and Edward and I snuggled on the couch watching the sunset over the bay. It was perfect… but what was the price of perfection?

"Yes, this definitely feels like home, but…" I let the concern seep into my voice. "We haven't talked price. I can't help but worry that we can't afford this…There is no way that this…falls into our budget."

"Relax, Aro wouldn't have brought us here if it wasn't within the price range we discussed." He put his arm around my shoulder, squeezing me into his side.

"So, what do you think?" Aro walked up to us.

"This is _definitely_ something we're interested in, but where does it fall in our price range?" Edward took charge of the discussion while I was overwhelmed with a multitude of emotions, and too many thoughts. I heard him say it was at the top of our price range, but with the information we had given him it was still affordable.

"How much?" I interjected, I needed to know exactly what kind of money we were talking. I looked at Aro expectantly, waiting for the bomb to drop.

"Seven sixty-nine."

_Seven-hundred, sixty-nine thousand dollars! Oh my fucking God!_

If this was the asking price at foreclosure, how much equity we'd have at closing? I reached up and gripped Edward's hand tightly at his words, and he gave me a gentle squeeze back indicating that he understood my distress, and for once I was grateful to have someone else be there to take control of the situation.

My mind raced as Edward and Aro spoke further about the price, but I couldn't think of anything else but the number he quoted. Different scenarios raced through my brain regarding the cost and down payment estimates Edward and I had discussed, and even though it was at the top of the price range we'd set, and at the limit of what we'd decided we could make work, I could not make the numbers add up in my head. I hadn't thought that we'd actually have to go so high. I'd been so sure that we would find something adequate at a much lower cost. But then that was the problem with everything we had seen up until now. Everything was adequate, they were sufficient for our needs, but none of them had felt like home. I could not picture our future in any one of the properties we had visited previously, and it terrified me.

"Breathe, Bella." He leaned down and whispered in my ear as Aro dialed his phone. "It'll be okay. We can work it out."

"But–" I choked on my words. He gently extricated his hand from my grip and started to rub my back while he continued to whisper softly to me.

"I asked him to get a few more particulars about the pending short sale for us. We have a few days before we need to make a decision, so we'll go back to his office and pick up all the paperwork. We can look it over and talk about it tonight, and tomorrow if need be. Everything's going to be alright."

I took a deep breath and sank into his side for support. I trusted him, and I felt a little relief knowing we didn't have to make an immediate decision.

Once we had the paperwork in hand, we decided to pick-up some Chinese and head back to Rose and Emmett's house. Leaving in the morning meant that we should take the time to discuss our options tonight, no matter how much we wanted to relax with our friends. I called Alice and Rose to let them know of our change in plans, and in no time we were settled on the couch back at the guest house enjoying our meal.

"So what–"

"I know–"

We both spoke at the same time.

"Go ahead." I motioned with my chopsticks before I took a bite of my Cashew Chicken.

He set his plate down and turned towards me. "I know the price is at the top of our budget, and we had hoped to get something for half of that. I understand how intimidating it is, I really do. It's a lot of fucking money to spend on a house, but I want to take the price out of the equation for a little bit and just talk about what we've seen and what we want."

"Okay, I think I can do that."

"From our discussion last night I think it's safe to say we are already in agreement that we're not interested in anything we saw the first day…"

"Yes, I just didn't like anything we saw. There were either too many repairs, or they just didn't have enough of what we were looking for. Most of them didn't have enough bedrooms, or even acceptable office space for you."

"Okay." He picked up his plate again and pushed his rice around. "With the exception of the houseboat, did you see anything you are willing to consider from what we saw today?"

I took another bite and carefully considered my answer. "There was that condo, in the Capitol Hill building. I liked that one. It was very similar to your place in Chicago…"

"I liked that one too, but…"

"But it was slightly small, just over a thousand square feet and there were only two bedrooms and one bathroom."

"Exactly." He pointed his chopsticks at me. "I loved the patio and the whole ambiance of the place, but for me the deal breaker was no dishwasher."

"I knew you'd hate that." I laughed and got up, setting my plate down on the coffee table. "I'm going to get another bottle of water, do you want one?"

"No, I'm good," he said holding up his full bottle. "So where does that leave us?"

I shut the door of the minifridge and walked back over to the couch. I knew he was really asking if it was safe to start talking about the houseboat, but as much as I loved it I was still overwhelmed by the cost so I tried to put that part of the discussion off for a little while longer. "Well, it's not like we couldn't put a dishwasher in. That's fixable, but the second bedroom was kind of small–hardly big enough for your office–and there wouldn't be any room left for guests to stay."

"Yeah, I wasn't too crazy about that room as office space either, but what I really wanted to know, and what I should have asked, was if you still wanted to keep it under consideration."

"No," I sighed. "No, it's just not right. Like you said the aesthetics were great, but the lack of space didn't feel right."

"That leaves us with the houseboat…" He looked at me squarely in my eyes. "Are you willing to consider it?"

I looked at him again. I could tell this afternoon that the houseboat was _it_ for him; it was the one he wanted… I wanted it too, but there was so much to consider regarding the price.

"I think we both already acknowledged that we both felt at home there, which is something we didn't feel anywhere else. The space is great. I mean, the rooms are huge, the kitchen is phenomenal and the view…it's perfect, Edward. I just don't know what to think of the price."

He started to open his mouth to say something but I stopped him. I needed to get everything that I was feeling out; I needed him to understand. "Yes, it still falls within our price range, but that kind of a mortgage is a big responsibility. I know we both have quite a bit saved, so we won't have to take a loan out on the whole amount, but I don't want to empty our bank accounts just to buy a house. We need to keep something on hand just in case, God forbid, something happens.

"Honestly, I've never spent that kind of money on anything in my life. Alice fronted the money for the start of our business, and now we have the investor's money for the boutiques. I'm just thinking about how slow things might be while we get the boutique up and running and the fact that your taking a pay cut as well…it terrifies me."

He put his water down and took my hand in his, drawing circles on the back with his thumb. "I felt the same way when I bought the condo in Chicago. Try to think about it this way, the down payment the two of us can make will cover more than half of the cost, so we'll be mortgaging less than half of the price he quoted. There is also the investment to consider. The price we'd pay for it would be less than half of its worth. That's instant equity. That's quite an investment for our future."

"I know. You're right. But…" I stilled his thumb by putting my hand on top of his, and took a deep breath. I was about to get to the root of my problem. There was no way I could contribute to the down payment equally, and I wasn't sure if I would feel right doing it any other way. "When we talked about what we were going to contribute for the down payment, I was thinking we were going to put in an equal amount. There is no way I can put out that much money. We're supposed to be equals in this. I just wouldn't feel right if I couldn't…I don't want you to have to pay my way."

He was quiet for a moment considering my words. My heart warmed. One of the things I cherished in our relationship was how he was always careful with his words, and tried to consider my feelings. Even back in March, his words weren't intended to be cruel- they were only hurtful because they were the truth… because I had hurt him.

He reached over and pulled me across his lap, and didn't start speaking until I had adjusted comfortably. "I have always tried to be understanding of your need for independence—your need for a certain amount of control—and I respect your desire to pay your own way. It's admirable, but I want you to consider a couple of things before we go any further with this.

"I know that our financial situations are vastly different. I was more than adequately paid for my last position, and other than the condo and my car, I haven't made any big purchases. Except for household expenses and the trips that we've taken in the past eight months, I don't spend a lot of cash. I have more than enough saved up for the two of us, and before you object to that, let me finish."

He knew me too well. I closed my mouth on my objection and let him finish.

"First I want you to consider this from a business stand point. Not only will the house in question—or whatever house we decide to purchase—serve as our home, but it will also be where I work." He pulled me in closely, hugging me to his body and rubbing his hand up and down my arm. "If you are intent on making sure things stay equal, then we should split the cost three ways, a third for each of us and a third for my office space. Logically it would only be natural that my share of the costs would be more. Does that make sense?"

I bit my lip and nodded my affirmation. And it did. It made sense. I felt a small sense of relief at his words.

"Now I want you to take our relationship into the equation." I nodded again.

"As far as I am concerned this is it. You're it for me. There will never be anyone else that can fill my heart and my life like you do, and after our last weekend in Chicago I finally feel confident in that, knowing you feel the same for me."

Hearing him say those words made my heart skip in my chest. I would never get used to, or get enough, of hearing him say those words to me. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, as the emotions built within my chest, and my voice hitched when I tried to affirm my feelings for him. "I do, Edward, I really do."

I felt his hand graze my cheek as he tilted my chin up to capture my lips in a sweet closed-mouth kiss. There was always passion in every kiss I had ever shared with Edward, but this kiss was more about the love we felt for each other than the need.

He relinquished my lips and leaned his head against mine. "Bella, I know we're not married, but someday I hope we will be. Right now it might not be official for the world to see, but until it is I want you to understand that in my heart I am already yours. I've already committed myself to you. Everything I am and everything I have is yours. Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you?"

"Yes."

"Bella, it doesn't matter to me how much money I have, or you have, or who pays for what. None of that matters to me. We're together. I want to share everything with you."

I drew his face back to mine for another kiss. I wanted to feel connected to him with my body as well as mind and my heart. I wanted him to know how much I loved him in that moment, so much more than any words I could use to express it.

He smiled as he pulled back. "Does this mean we can buy the house?"

I smiled back and nodded, but couldn't resist teasing him. "I don't know…I still feel like I'm getting off easy."

"Oh, really?" He smiled, picking up the playful tone in my voice, and leaned back in to nuzzle the sweet spot behind my ear.

"Mmhmm."

"Well then, are you ready to negotiate the terms of our agreement?" His tongue slipped out and drew my earlobe into his mouth so he could nibble at it with his teeth.

"Do you think you can meet them?" I chuckled and ran my fingers up into the hair at the nape of his neck and pressed him to me.

"I know I can." He breathed heavily and nipped along my jaw to my lips where he captured them in an explosive kiss that displayed all of the passion that we had previously kept at bay. He brought his hands up and captured my face in his palms while his lips slanted over mine again and a gain, his tongue darting in and out of my mouth.

My senses were on fire, intensifying with each touch of his hands and kiss of his lips. I moved my free hand down from where it rested on his shoulder, caressing my way down his chest and abs until I found what I was searching for in his lap. I pressed down firmly with my fingers and began to stroke him through his jeans. "What are you putting on the table?"

He groaned against my lips, and moved one of his hands from my face to cup and knead my breast. "You already know what I can put on the table." He squeezed my breast and ran his thumb back and forth across my erect nipple. "I think we need to up the stakes."

"You mean like, doing the dishes?" I asked breathlessly. I could barely form a coherent thought. He trailed his lips down my neck, licking and sucking my skin along the way while his hand searched out the hem of my shirt.

"I believe…"

I could feel the heat of his hand on my body as it trailed up over my ribs.

"…I've already shown you…"

His fingers slipped under the edge of my bra, releasing my breast from its confines.

"…my skills with a sink and counter top…"

I felt him roll my hardened nipple in between his thumb and forefinger, causing me to moan in pure pleasure.

"…you broke my glasses…"

His face dipped lower and I could feel the heat of his breath on my exposed skin.

"…because I was just so. Damn. Skillful."

He punctuated each word first licking, then gently tugging on my taut nipple with his teeth, and finally sucking it between his lips. I cried out feeling the pleasure ripple through my body. Only this man had ever made me feel so intensely. Only this man could make me loose control so quickly.

"What did you have in mind then?" I squeaked when he tugged on my nipple again. My fingers fumbled with the fastenings of his pants as I tried to get to get to him. I wanted to feel proof of his desire for me; the heat of his hardened length, and the softness of his silky skin in the palm of my hand. When I had finally unfastened them enough to push my hand inside, my arm was pulled upwards as he pulled my shirt over my head. I whimpered my displeasure at having been deprived of my treasure.

He quickly divested me of my bra and lay me back on the couch. His hands skimmed down my body to the top of my jeans. He unfastened them without preamble and, grasping both the waist of my pants and underwear, peeled them down my legs.

I sat back up and pushed his own down his hips until I got to his knees. I ran my hands back up his thighs and drew him forward never taking my eyes off of his cock. I gently kissed his tip as he knelt on the edge of the couch and tried to free his lower legs from the fabric of his jeans. He sucked in his breath, his response spurring me on to continue. My tongue swirled over his length, and when I reached his head I took him into my mouth as far as he could go and then drew back again.

"I don't know…stuff like…" His voice came in gasps as I worked him with my mouth. "…scrubbing…the shower…cleaning the carpet..._fuck_!"

He pushed me backwards, following my body with his own until he took me in one swift thrust. There weren't any more words. We neither needed them, nor were capable of producing them. Our game forgotten, it became all about the pleasure we gave and took. It was all about the love and passion we felt for each other. My hands gripped his shoulders and his hands found purchase on my thighs, holding me in place as he pushed into me. With every plunge, he drove himself deeper inside me and brought us closer to our release.

He captured my mouth in another searing kiss and murmured his love as we came. My head tilted back and my back arched as my orgasm ripped through my body, but no sound left my mouth, the force of my release rendering me silent. Edward's body shuddered above mine, then he collapse on top of me, clasping my body tightly to him. I felt his hot whooshing against my neck with each stuttering breath he took.

The depth of our connection always amazed me; making love with Edward was something I would never tire of for as long as I lived. After a while our breathing finally returned to normal and we were able to reposition ourselves more comfortably.

"Wasn't that supposed to be more about what you could do for me?" He asked, teasing me, his chest heaving with exertion.

"Yeah, but don't worry. We have the rest of our lives to keep renegotiating the terms."

"I can live with that."

**

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**

I couldn't help but smile at the memory of that last night in Rose's guest house. I smiled anytime I thought about Edward and our ongoing negotiations.

Compromising with Edward was easier than I had thought, and I actually found that letting go of some of the control I had previously tried to maintain was a relief amidst the stress of the move. It was one less thing I needed to focus on, and I just had to trust Edward to do what was best for us. And I did, I trusted him implicitly. He was able to arrange everything with Aro, and between a multitude of faxes, and another quick trip to Seattle, we were able to close on the house by mid-May.

Alice and Rose had been right. We knew it was our house the moment we had stepped inside. It was perfect for us. There were a few things we did end up changing, much to their amusement, but they were small in comparison to Alice's epic remodel.

I unplugged my flat iron and exited the bathroom, making my way over to the walk-in closet. I laid the dress I had decided to wear to the benefit dinner on the bed and went back into the closet in search of the matching shoes.

For the most part Edward and I had settled into living together rather easily, although we did go through the usual period of adjustment getting used to each other's idiosyncrasies. He hated it when I forgot to rinse the sink clean after brushing my teeth, and I would get irritated when he would leave his wet towels on the bed after a shower. But for the most part, nothing caused any kind of major dispute. The only thing that seemed to be a constant battle was the war we waged in the closet.

I was a bit obsessive compulsive when it came to my shoes. It wasn't that I had too many– no one would ever accuse me of having too many shoes, except for maybe Edward. In fact, Alice had once told me that my lack of variety where footwear was concerned was embarrassing for a woman working in the fashion industry.

The root of our disagreement stemmed from my obsessive-compulsive need to organize every pair of shoes I owned by style and color, and store them in their original packaging. The upper shelves in our closet were stacked with shoe boxes leaving room for little else. Edward didn't understand why I couldn't put them on the floor or buy a shoe rack like a normal person. After a few boxes had fallen on him he'd even offered to have someone come in and build me one, I refused. He said I was being unreasonable, I thought I was being organized.

I pulled out the stool I used to reach the upper shelves so that I could retrieve the pair I needed for tonight, only they weren't there. _Shit. Why aren't you where you're supposed to be?_ I went through each shelf looking for my favorite black slingbacks and they weren't there. There were several other pairs of shoes that were not where they were supposed to be… _Edward._

Looking at the shelf I noticed that all of my shoes had been shoved to the side to make room for a new box on the end. It definitely wasn't one of my shoe boxes. I moved the stool over to investigate what had been so important that he would risk my wrath for messing with my shoes. I reached up and started to pull the box down, but it was a lot heavier than what it looked. I adjusted my grip and was able to take it down and set it on the floor. It was a plain brown box without any markings on it to label the contents, so I opened it.

_If it's something you didn't want me to see before Christmas, then you shouldn't have moved my shoes to store it._

I immediately started laughing at the contents of the box. I had always loved Edward's sense of humor, and this was no exception. Only he would move my shoes, risking my temper, to store Charlie's Christmas present on my shelves – after all, it was _technically_ a shoe. I reached into the box and pulled out what looked like an old steel-toed work boot that had been bronzed and mounted on a wooden block. Underneath the boot there was an engraved plaque that said 'Catch of the Day'.

The look on my dad's face would be priceless this year when he opened his gift. In fact, I think it would rival the look on his face the day he and Edward had caught this monster.

**

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**

"Edward!" I called up the stairs. "Dad and Sue are going to be here any minute!"

"Relax, babe, I'll be right down."

I paced in front of the downstairs entrance, anxiously wringing my hands as I waited for my Dad and Sue to arrive for their first visit to my new house. This was a big deal, even more so than when Renee had come for a short visit the month before. This was my dad, not only would this be the first time he had ever been able to visit me in my own home, but this wasn't just my house. It was _our_ house, Edward's and mine. We'd be sleeping together, under the same roof as my father, without any doubt that Edward and I were sharing a bedroom. I was afraid that Dad would use his twisted sense of humor to give Edward a hard time, especially since Edward had told me about their little talk the night of the reunion. I was torn between being more embarrassed knowing that my dad had seen, and touched, my underwear or that he was aware of our lascivious activities.

Thankfully, he was a good sport about all of my dad's jokes, especially since moving in together, even though I could tell he was still terrified of him. Back when we'd been in high school they had always gotten along well, but there was something about changing the status of a relationship from being just friends to that of a romantic nature that always made a man tuck tail and piss all over the floor in front of a father figure, no matter how close they may have been previously.

I heard a car door shut half-way through my next pass in front of the door and rushed over to see Sue's car parked in front of the house. "Edward!"

"I'm here." I jumped when he placed his hands on my shoulders and massaged subtle circles into my back with his thumbs. "I thought I told you to relax, everything will be fine, you'll see."

_Says the man how is clearly nervous around my father… _I nodded and opened the door, greeting Sue as she came down the dock. She pulled me into a hug as soon as I reached her. "I'm so glad you guys could come."

"So am I, Bella." She answered with a squeeze before letting me go and greeting Edward with his own hug.

"So, where's Dad?"

"You know your father, he's getting his gear."

"His gear-" I started to ask, but was cut off by Edward's laughter. I looked up to see my dad coming down the steps of the dock wearing his lucky fishing vest, his arms chock full of fishing gear, and couldn't help but laugh with everyone else.

"What?" He asked incredulously, his moustache twitching with his own amusement. "You said it was a houseboat, so I thought I'd be able to get some fishing in while I was here…"

"Dad, it's not that kind of boat. I'm not sure how good the fishing will be off of the back porch." I said even though I had already had visions of him trying to do just that when we had first viewed the house.

"It's worth a try, even if all I catch is Crappie. Besides, Edward can keep me company while you and Sue catch up." I looked at Edward just in time to see him cover his fear and give Dad a little too enthusiastic of a reply. His moustache twitched again as he tried to hide his smile and I could see the sparkle of mischief in his eyes.

I put my arm around his shoulder and kissed his cheek before I whispered a warning. "Go easy on him, Dad. I know how you are." He nodded and smiled again, and I knew I had to watch him just to be on the safe side.

"Bella, why don't you show your dad and Sue inside while I get the rest of their luggage."

"Right. Why don't you guys come in and I'll give you the grand tour." I motioned for them to precede me into the house as Edward strode up the dock towards the parking area.

As soon as Sue had unpacked in the guest room, we started dinner and Dad and Edward made themselves comfortable with a six-pack and a couple of fishing poles down on the back porch.

Sue and I talked comfortably about the events of the past few months and how everything was working out with Edward and the move. She was also happy that I had been able to clear the air with Renee, that we were finally moving towards a more healthy relationship as mother and daughter and that our continued dialogue was helping me sort out the issues I had allowed to come between Edward and I. We were almost done preparing a quick dessert when we heard a shout from outside.

"Edward, give me a hand here will ya?" I heard my dad yell.

"Charlie, it's got to be a big one!"

"Here, get the net will ya?" Dad asked. "It's a strong one, look at it put up a fight!"

Sue and I scrambled down the stairs just in time to see Edward lift their prize from the water.

"It's a boot." Edward said looking over at my dad as he clearly struggled not to laugh.

Dad looked at the net for a moment, speechless, before he looked over at Edward and laughed. "That it is."

* * *

The boot definitely eased the playfulness between them and the rest of the weekend had been quiet and relaxing. It had been good to see the two most important men in my life getting along.

As soon as Sue and Dad had left, Edward had set the boot aside to dry and let me in on his plan to have it mounted for my dad as a gift; he truly understood my dad's warped sense of humor.

I put the boot back in the box and heaved it back onto the shelf, then continued my search for my still missing shoes. I looked all around, not sure where he could have put them, when I spied a few boxes in the back corner of the closet. All three pairs of my missing shoes were in the corner, haphazardly stacked in a short pile. I picked up the pair I had been searching for and left the others. I would put them away later. My memories had put me in a good mood, and it wasn't worth making a big deal over, especially tonight. Tonight was Edward's night and I didn't want to take away from all that he'd been working towards over something that didn't really matter in the grand scheme of things.

I had my dress halfway on when I heard the front door open. A minute later Edward came in the bedroom unbuttoning his shirt with one hand and carrying his shoes in the other.

"Hey, babe, I'm just going to hop in the shower really quick and then we can go."

"Alright. Would you mind zipping me up first?" I finished pulling the short sleeves over my shoulders and gathered my hair to the side exposing the zipper for him.

"Sure, you know I can't say no to that." He walked up behind me, standing just close enough that I could feel the warmth of his body, but far enough away that we weren't actually touching. Just his proximity sent a wave of need throughout my body.

I felt his fingers glide up my back as he pulled the zipper upwards until he got to the top. His fingers grazed the skin at the base of my neck lightly as he slipped the hook through the eye of the tiny metal button at the top of the dress. Everywhere his fingers touched tingled and increased my desire for more of his touch. I waited with bated breath, and he didn't disappoint. I felt the warmth of his soft lips against the nape of my neck and the heat from his fingers as he caressed them up and down my arms.

He hummed against my neck sending shivers down my spine. "I have to shower, but I fully anticipate finishing this later tonight."

He brushed his lips across my skin one last time and then turned towards the bathroom. I stood there for a minute…or two and sighed, gathering my composure before I could finish getting myself ready.

I crossed the room to my dresser and opened the jewelry box Edward had given me for my last birthday. I opened the top and picked through my earrings until I found the pair that I had planned to wear for the evening, and then lifted the tray out so that I could search for the matching necklace.

_Why is it that every time I want to wear a necklace the chains are all knotted up in a ball?_ I picked up the mass of jewelry and gently started the untangling process. _It would figure that the one I wanted was hidden somewhere in the center. Well, shit, Edward's going to be done with his shower and ready to go by the time I get this mess figured out._

I freed a thin platinum chain with a small diamond pendent and set the mass of jewelry down to hold the necklace up for closer inspection. In the center of the chain a triad of round brilliant diamonds hung suspended between two ends of the chain. It was beautiful; a gift from Rose. She had given one to both Alice and I when we officially opened the boutique.

Now _that_ had been a long day. Both Alice and I had been so nervous as it was our first official day open, and the day we finally met our investor.

**

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**

"Today was…phenomenal. I'm just disappointed the investor didn't show up as planned." I said picking up my glass.

"Yeah, I don't really care who it is. I just want to thank them for choosing us." Alice took a sip of her wine. "What time are the guys meeting us?"

"They'll be here at seven. Listen, I have a little something for you guys." Rose reached down and pulled two small packages out of her purse.

"What's this for?" I asked, arching my brow at her. Rose was very generous when the occasion called for it, but I couldn't think of what reason she would have to give us a gift.

"Just a little something to celebrate your success," she said handing us each a package, which Alice and I quickly opened.

Underneath the carefully wrapped paper was a gold velvet jeweler's box, and inside lay beautiful platinum and diamond necklace. The simple chain surrounded a triad shaped pendant made up of a grouping of small diamonds that sparkled under the restaurant's lighting.

"Oh my God, Rose, it's beautiful…wow." Alice breathed. "Thank you."

"Rose…" My breath hitched with emotion. "Thank you, so much."

"Now, before you say anything else. I have something I need to say." She looked at both of us and waited as we nodded or agreement.

"There are three diamonds in each of those pendants. One for each of us." She picked up her glass and held it up to us.

"Bella," she looked at me and smiled, "you have been one of my best friends for years, and if it wasn't for you, I never would have known Alice."

She looked over and smiled at Alice.

"Not only are you two the best friends I've ever had, but I have faith that you will also be the best _investment_ I have ever made. So congratulations on the success of your business…may we have many profitable years together."

We lifted our glasses together in silence, Rose's eyes looked away from us and down at the table, a small smile playing across her lips. The realization of what Rose had actually said didn't dawn on either one of us until after we had drunk deeply of the sweet wine, causing Alice and I to choke and spit our wine simultaneously.

I quickly set my glass down and wiped my mouth with the napkin in my lap. "Excuse me?"

Rose just looked at us and smiled.

"You're the investor?" Alice asked, finally was able to recover. "You were at the store all day today, and you never said a word?"

"How–"

Alice held out her hand and cut me off before I could finish my question, and directed her attention to Rose. "How long have you known?"

"I've pretty much known since the beginning."

Alice's jaw dropped. Rose's smile got wider and I could see her eyes twinkle with mirth.

"When I decided I wanted to pool some of my funds into a fashion venture, my investment broker contacted Castanea Partners, since they specialize in investments in the fashion industry. They presented me with a few options, and one of them was your company. I recognized the name immediately and of course jumped at the opportunity since I was familiar with your designs firsthand."

"Why didn't you tell us?" I asked, taking another sip of wine.

"Since part of the deal was financing the boutiques, I wanted to make sure that whatever decision you made was for the benefit of the company and ultimately my investment, not because of me and our friendship.

"Remember, you guys were contacted in the Spring and then again after the success of your Fall line. During that time, the brokers at Castanea were compiling all the research for possible locations for the boutiques. I knew Seattle was a possibility, and didn't want you to feel obligated to set up business here just because I was involved.

"Financially speaking it was in my best interest to leave you free of outside influences. It was a business decision."

"How in the world were you able to keep silent about it for all these months?" Alice asked as she picked up her necklace and fingered the pendant.

"It was definitely not easy. You guys have no idea how hard it was to keep my mouth shut when you guys came to visit scope out Seattle." Rose set her glass down on the table and looked at us both before she continued. "Now that you know, I want to make things clear. I want to make sure that you are both okay with me being the investor. I assure you I don't want to have any day to day dealings in the business. This is simply a financial transaction for me. I don't want you to think that I'm going to be sticking my nose in where it doesn't belong. This is your business, I just hope to reap some of the benefits."

I put my hand out and squeezed her hand. "Thank you, Rose."

**

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**

Edward came out of the bathroom wearing just his boxer briefs and threw his towel on the bed as I was looking at the necklace in my hand.

"Do you want some help with that?" He asked coming up behind me.

"Sure." I handed him the necklace and moved my hair to the side so he would be able to see the tiny clasp. He smelled so good, the fresh scent of his soap always aroused me, and when he was done, I leaned back against his naked chest and sighed. He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly to him before placing a kiss on the top of my head and moving to the closet.

I quickly changed out my earrings for a pair that matched my necklace and turned back to the bed where I slipped my shoes on and picked up Edward's wet towel from where he'd left it on the bed…again. I hung it up where it belonged in the bathroom and walked over to the closet where I could watch Edward finish getting dressed.

Edward was handsome no matter what he wore, but Edward in a tux was something else entirely. Just looking at him made my girl parts tingle in a way I'd never known was possible until I'd met him. I watched as he adjusted the cuff links I'd given him last Christmas before putting on his jacket. Every move he made was utterly captivating.

"If you keep staring at me like that, we'll never make it to the dinner," he said as he turned around to face me.

I walked over and adjusted his bow tie. "We can't have that now can we?"

"Not tonight anyway," he laughed. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yes, and yes."

He leaned down and placed a quick peck on my lips. "Good to know, and I promise I will finish what I started earlier as soon as we get home tonight."

We drove quickly to the hotel, not wanting to be late, and took our seats once we were inside the huge ballroom. Our whole family was in attendance for this momentous occasion. Even Charlie and Sue came to support Edward. As soon as everyone was seated for dinner, Edward got up and moved to the podium.

"Good evening everyone. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Edward Cullen and I am here tonight, on behalf of an extraordinary group of children..."

As I listened to Edward speak, I couldn't help but feel proud of all he'd accomplished to make this night happen. There was so much passion in his voice as he spoke of the needs of the children he so desperately wanted to help. This is where he belonged, where he truly excelled. I had no doubt that he would be able to make a difference.

"Thank you all for coming this evening, for contributing and helping make this night a success. Please, enjoy your meal."

I watched him return to the table and reached out my hand to his as he blushed at the applause after his speech. I leaned in as he took his seat and kissed his cheek next to his ear.

"I love you," I whispered.

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**This chapter is brought to you by Jimmy Eat World's **_**For Me This Is Heaven**_**, Charlie's bronzed boot, and our hard-working-late-as-fuck pkitten21, show her the love people!**


	29. Diamond Ring

**A/N: Well, here we are. This is the final regular chapter before the epilogue, and there will also be an important outtake posted shortly thereafter. Sincere apologies from Snozzberryfaery for the ridiculous wait for this chapter. We owe you, and ourselves, nothing less than perfection and hope that you understand our need to get it right. Hope you enjoy a little swim around our Geekward's brain. **

**With Comic Con just around the corner and Geek Pride Day (May 25****th****) almost here we thought we'd remind you that we have our Café Press store to cater to your Nerdy Needs **

**http://www . cafepress . com/NaughtySparkle**

**Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner to Twilight, we just like to let Edward take his Gondola for a ride in Bella's canal…**

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Chapter 29 – Diamond Ring

EPOV

I woke slowly to the feeling of a warm body snuggling into my side, and I couldn't stop the sleepy smile that crept its way onto my face. I rolled halfway over and pulled her close to my chest, causing her to wrap her arms and legs around mine and murmur softly. I was still astounded by the joy I felt waking up with Bella next to me every day, and I hoped the feeling never wore off. There was nothing more perfect than holding her while we slept, especially if she was wearing nothing but one of my old t-shirts.

_It's official. You are now a girl, and that woman beside you carries your dude berries in her purse. You have crossed over into pussy-whipped territory and there is no turning back, amigo._

I was careful not to wake her as I stretched my arms out and carefully extricated myself from Bella's limbs, slipping out of the bed in one smooth motion. We had a lot to do, and I wasn't going to be able to do any of it without caffeine. The airport shuttle would be picking us up at seven-thirty, and I didn't want to be late.

I pulled on a sweatshirt, and what Bella had officially dubbed my "pee-paw pants", before quietly tiptoeing downstairs to put on the coffee.

Once I had a mug poured, and I'd brought in the morning paper, I made my way down the hallway to my "office" and sat at the desk, gathering everything we'd need for our trip and checking them off my mental list.

_Passports, itinerary, and hotel confirmation – check._

_Plane tickets – check._

_Ring – check._

_Unwavering confidence required to execute said plan – absofuckinglutely…check__._

I was nervous, sure, but not because I had any doubts about my relationship with Bella. Things were so good between us that the only way I could imagine them being better was by making it official. It was a huge step, and I desperately wanted to take that step with Bella, but I wanted it to be perfect for her. That was where my nerves stemmed from. I'd done everything I could to insure that things went off without a hitch, but there was always the possibility of some unknown variable throwing things off. At least I had the traveling part down pat. After all the trips I'd made over the last year, I'd learned the fine art of travel time-management. I was nothing if not organized, especially now, because I needed this trip to be perfect. I had every detail sorted out, and I was half ecstatic, half about-to-puke-my-guts-out from nerves.

I'd been planning our trip for about a month, and thankfully my sneakiness had paid off. Bella had been completely surprised. She'd been so adorable Christmas morning when she opened the envelope containing the tickets to Italy. She'd hugged and kissed me profusely, then leapt from the bed, and tore down the hallway, squealing to Alice about how excited she was.

Alice _might _have also said she was slightly jealous of the fact that Bella was getting to go somewhere that she herself had still not visited. She claimed that a legitimate fashion designer needed to visit Italy at least once, and raised her voice in a not-so subtle _hint-hint _in Jasper's direction. She kept her mutterings to a minimum, but brightened considerably when an almost unspeakably disheveled Jasper finally poked his head out of their bedroom and promised to take her wherever she wanted if she'd do "that thing" again. I'd shuddered, not wanting to even venture a guess as to what "that thing" was. My brother and Alice were shameless. I was beyond grateful that they now had their own home to cavort about in, and we only had to tolerate their X-rated antics for a few days during Christmas, since we'd all decided to stay at my parent's house.

…_although you didn't mind Alice's perversion when she gave Bella that Princess Leia costume, did you?_

I stifled a groan at the thought of Bella in that costume. It was one of my favorite nights we'd ever had, and it was definitely stirring El Capitán from his slumber. As much as I wanted to wake Bella up in a mutually fun and satisfying way, we were on a strict timeline and I wouldn't let this trip start off with us being late for our plane.

I pulled a paper clip from my desk organizer, securing the stack of documents together before I stuffed everything in an envelope. I hoped I was doing the right thing by planning an elaborate trip as opposed to just taking her back to Vegas. I wanted to spoil her where I could, but after the initial excitement, the tickets had also earned me a frown from Bella. She was incredibly excited about our destination, but she felt slightly inadequate by comparison when I opened my gift from her. It was a retro leather desk set I'd wanted for my new "home office", embossed with my initials and everything. It was amazing. I loved it, and told her as much, but what I _didn't_ tell her was that I had selfish motives for taking her to Italy. I had something else up my sleeve, and she'd hopefully be giving me the greatest gift in the world…if things worked out as I had been planning.

_Quit worrying, you big whiner. Everything will be fine. You've got all your ducks in a row and the Chief hasn't shot you yet, so you're definitely on the right track._

So far, everything had fallen into place exactly as I needed. The last week or so had been utter craziness, and I was dying to get away with Bella and have a much needed break from work and holiday madness. Christmas tended to be synonymous with "insane", and when added to the stress of our still relatively new location, and respective new businesses endeavors, we were in dire need of some time away.

I grabbed the small manila envelope containing everything we needed and powered down my laptop. I was leaving it behind and taking only the bare minimum of technology for this trip. No working, at all. I wanted us to have a true vacation, just the two of us, with no distractions or interruptions. We deserved it after the chaos the holidays had brought.

We'd spent Christmas in Forks again, since we'd opted to celebrate our first Thanksgiving at our new place by having a big dinner with our closest friends. That itself had been a huge stressor for Bella. She had insisted on cooking for everyone, stating that since she finally had her own kitchen, in her own house, she wanted to christen it properly. She worried for days before that something would happen and it would be a disaster, but everything had been fine and she'd done a beautiful job. Alice and Jasper had joined us, as well as Rosalie, Emmett, and their brood. Bella felt bad at first, for not having Charlie and Sue over as well, but Sue had insisted that they stay in Forks, because her children were both coming to visit. Bella understood, but I knew she missed her father; which is why it had been so important for us to make it to Forks for Christmas…that, and the fact that there was a certain conversation I'd needed to have with Charlie.

We were so much closer to our parents geographically than we'd been when we were in Chicago and Miami, but we still had a hard time making frequent visits. Soon, things would be settling down for both of us professionally, and we'd already agreed to make it a point to visit both our families as often as possible. My mother would undoubtedly make sure that happened, through her own special brand of not-so-gentle persuasion and bribery with baked goods.

Overall, Christmas this year had been amazing, much like the year before, but there was a distinctly different tone to the way people approached us. The year before, our relationship had been so fresh that we still didn't know exactly where we stood with each other, let alone our respective families, and this year we were a solid couple. People referred to us as a pair more often than individuals. I wanted nothing more in the world than to make that pairing permanent. Christmas marked the beginning of laying the groundwork for that very action.

* * *

Early in the morning on Christmas Eve I had snuck away leaving Bella and my mom elbow deep in cinnamon roll dough, my mother eyeing me knowingly, and obviously trying to contain her excitement. I hadn't intended to tell her about my plan, but I was never really able to hide anything from her. She knew the minute I hugged her when we arrived that something was up. I put her off as long as I could, but she'd cornered me in the kitchen while Bella napped, and I spilled my secret while she listened with rapt attention. To say she was excited would actually be an understatement. She was _euphoric._ According to her, she'd been waiting for this since we were teenagers, always convinced that Bella and I were meant to be together. My mom is a very wise woman.

I'd borrowed my Dad's SUV and made my way across town to Bella's old house, where Charlie and Sue now resided together. Standing on the porch, knowing what I was about to do, I'd felt less like an almost-30-year-old man and more like I was a scared shitless seventeen-year-old again. Charlie and I had formed a quiet camaraderie, but he was still the father of my girlfriend, and he still carried a gun. No matter how secure I felt in my relationship with Bella, those factors still made me nervous.

I had taken a deep breath, straightened my glasses, and raised my shaky hand to knock, just as a very surprised Charlie pulled the door open. He was dressed in full uniform, and had already strapped on his duty belt, clearly on his way out to work. The visual only served to amp up my nerves a little more.

"Edward? Mind if I ask what you're doing on my front porch at this hour? Is everything okay?" He'd looked both confused and concerned, as he peered around me, most likely looking for Bella.

"Everything's fine, Charlie. I was just hoping I could have a minute of your time. There's something I'd like to discuss with you, if you're free."

He'd poked his head into the house and let Sue know he wasn't leaving just yet, then gestured towards the two wooden chairs on the porch.

I sat down nervously, wringing my hands, and took a deep breath.

"Alright, Edward, let's hear it. You're all tied up in knots, so is this good news or bad news?"

"Well, hopefully good… As you know, Bella and I have been together for a little over a year now, that is, minus the few weeks we were having problems - which we're completely past by the way - and as you already know we've gotten pretty serious, with the moving, and buying a house together…"

I was rambling and I knew it, and although I had never been more sure about what I wanted, I was suddenly terrified that this man—this _father—_before me might not agree to what I was about to ask. His mere parental presence had reduced me to a nervous mess.

"Okay. And…?" Charlie urged me on.

"And I…I was hoping you'd…well, I was…" The words I'd so easily practiced in my head over the past weeks were simply refusing to exit my mouth.

"Spit it out, son." Charlie pressed impatiently.

"Charlie, I was hoping you'd give me your blessing to ask Bella to marry me," I pushed out quickly before my nerves could get the better of me.

Charlie looked at me sternly, not speaking, for a long minute. Then, without warning, his face broke into a wide grin and he let out a loud guffaw. The laughing continued, and I sat there not understanding his reaction. As his chuckles tapered off, he scrubbed a hand over his face and let out a loud sigh.

"Edward, you've been around for over a decade now, originally under the pretense of teenage friendship—though you and I both know there were a lot more feelings involved than were ever acknowledged—and as an adult you have engaged in shenanigans I _shall not mention_, with my daughter, in my house, and who knows where else. Now you're living with her in a home you purchased together, and you still think you need my okay? I appreciate the gesture, really, but don't you think I would've at least _tried _to put the kibosh on your activities sooner had I not been okay with you in Bella's life?"

I knew my mouth was hanging open, but I couldn't bring myself to close it. His indirect but still embarrassing reference to our kitchen table "shenanigans" aside, he was essentially telling me that he'd been okay with us all along.

"Close your mouth, Edward. You look like a trout."

I did as I was told.

"Now, I haven't always agreed with the decisions my daughter has made, but I _have_ always given her space to make her own mistakes. Lord knows she has never been one to give up on something once she puts her mind to it, be it good or bad. She gets that stubbornness and determination from me, and I'm willing to take the blame for whatever…er…difficulties that may cause for you in your future disagreements… but when she came to me back in March, brokenhearted and lost, I knew that the only way she'd be okay is if she simply followed her heart. She went back and made things right with you, and I haven't ever seen her happier. So, in short, you don't need my permission. All you need is Bella's, because if she loves you enough to want to spend the rest of her life with you, well, that's good enough for me."

I was rendered speechless for a moment. I was so taken aback by Charlie's words that I almost didn't know what to say.

"Wow…Charlie… thank you…I mean…_really_, thank you. That means a lot to me that you feel that way. I promise that I'll spend the rest of my life doing everything in my power to make her happy. That's all I've been trying to do. It's all I want."

"I know, Edward. You're a good man. I trust you with my baby girl."

He leaned slightly forward and peered through the porch screen. It looked like he was checking to see if Sue was within earshot.

"One last thing, Edward."

"Yeah?"

"I still carry a gun," he said as he patted his right hip. "Don't ever give me a reason to use it."

I gulped loudly, unsure of what to say in response.

_Is he serious? He pulls the Chief card now that I'm an adult? Where was he when his daughter was being groped and manhandled by Douche-Newton back in high school? What the fuck?_

"I…I won't, Charlie…I promise…" I stammered.

Once again he gave me the stern and serious face, and once again it transformed into a smile, as he laughed loudly.

"You're too easy, Edward. Lighten up."

I tried to muster a laugh, but he'd literally scared me. I'd always wondered when he was going to finally threaten me with his Chiefly powers.

We stood at the same time, and he clapped me on the back.

"Just let us know the when and where once you two have decided on the details. And my lips are sealed. I better keep this from Sue for now. Those women in the kitchen can be thick as thieves, and I'd hate for the surprise to be ruined before you get to ask. Sue promised your mom she'd come help with dinner, so she'll be over there tomorrow morning, and those three will be chattering away all day, I expect."

"Yeah, speaking of that, I probably should probably be getting back. Bella and my mom were already getting things going when I left, and I'm sure she has errands for me to run. I know you were on your way out when I got here, so I won't hold you up any longer. See you tomorrow Charlie."

"See ya, kid."

It was all I could have hoped for and more. He'd finally eased my mind and told me out loud that he accepted me, but more importantly, he accepted _us_.

* * *

I finished my coffee, ditched my mug in the sink, and crept back up the stairs to get Bella out of bed. Before I approached her, I snuck into our closet and extracted the last thing I needed—a small, black velvet box—from its hiding place in one of my old sneakers. Once I had that stashed in an inner pocket of my carry-on, along with the manila envelope with all our papers, I crawled quietly back onto the bed and settled next to Bella's still-sleeping form.

I was so anxious to get going that I was about to jump out of my skin. I felt like I wasn't going to really be able to breathe until she had that ring securely on her finger.

_Not that you need reminding, but you're seriously overreacting. She loves you. You've planned things to a tee. She'll say yes…it'll be perfect. Now, first things first…_

"Wake up, sleepyhead…hey, beautiful...wake up…"

I whispered the words very gently in her ear, rousing her from sleep. She looked so gorgeous with her dark hair rumpled and splayed across the pillow, and her hands tucked under her face. It was almost a shame to wake her, but I had no choice.

I pressed my lips to her temple and kissed her softly, eliciting a groan as she finally started to wake up.

"Wha…? It's still dark outside… I don't have to get up until the alarm goes off…" she grumped, while burying her head under the pillow. As much as I loved waking up to Bella every day now, I'd discovered over the last few months of consistently amusing wake-ups that she was much less of a morning person than I was.

"I know, babe, but it's gonna go off in fifteen minutes anyway, and I don't want to be late for our flight. I know it's going to be hell at the airport. Please wake up…" I ran my hand gently up and down her back, trying to get her attention.

"I'll give you anything your heart desires, you just have to get…up…now," I teased, punctuating every word with a gentle tickle to her ribs.

She giggled into the pillow then pushed it off her head, smiling up at me.

"I already have you, what else could you possibly give me?" She joked, pulling me to her chest and wrapping her arms around my shoulders. She was so soft, and she smelled like fabric softener and warm skin.

"Well, I do remember hearing _somewhere_ that the shopping there is pretty amazing. I don't think I'll have a hard time finding something to make you smile. Unless you've decided you don't want to go after all…"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I must have forgotten. We're going somewhere?" She shrugged and feigned cluelessness.

"Very cute, but we really do have to get ready. The shuttle will be here in a little over an hour to pick us up."

"Flights, hurrying, packing, airport… Why do I suddenly have déjà vu? Haven't we done this before?" She tapped a forefinger on her chin and pretended to be deep in thought.

"I was thinking the same thing. Our lives were a series of comings and goings for so long, that it feels weird to be stationary, doesn't it?"

"Weird, sure…but also wonderful. I love that we have a home together. I'm happy. Blissful, in fact."

She pressed a sweet closed-mouth kiss to my lips, and I smiled against her mouth.

It had been less than 48 hours since we'd gotten home from our Forks trip, and we were already turning around and leaving again. But it would be worth it. Her sleep-rumpled face broke out in a wide smile to match mine, and I wondered if she had a word to outdo blissful. Because if the rest of my plan went off without a hitch, we would both be well beyond blissful in a few days.

_Venice, here we come…_

**//VV\\**

The plane jostled slightly as we touched down at Venice Marco Polo Airport, and I finally had no choice but to wake Bella, who was sleeping soundly beside me. She was leaning into my shoulder, her head resting on it gently, and her hands were tucked into my side. She looked so peaceful and content and I loved the feeling of her against me, but it had been an extremely long flight and I was dying to get up and stretch my legs. Bella had fortunately been able to sleep for the last leg of our journey, but my overactive brain had kept me wide awake…for the entire fourteen hour trip.

"Bella, sweetie, we're here," I whispered to her.

She sat up and stretched her arms, smiling at me sweetly. She had adorable wrinkles on one side of her face from leaning on my sweatshirt.

"We're here? Awesome. I can't wait to get off this plane. I feel _so _stiff." She stretched her arms above her head, and yawned widely before leaning over to kiss me. The movement caused the pile of belongings on her lap to fall onto the floor between us. Book, iPod, phone, and assorted other things. I bent down to grab them for her, but as luck would have it, she leaned at the same time, and our foreheads collided.

"Ow, shit," I mumbled, rubbing the sore spot and scowling at the floor. "I'm sorry, are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

She chuckled quietly and rubbed her own forehead.

"No, Edward, I'm fine." She eyed me curiously for a moment, as she leaned once again and gathered her things.

She attempted to push them into her bag, but her hands were already full, juggling her jacket and scarf, so I took the small pile from her and shoved it quickly into my own bag. I made a point not to open the bag too widely, lest she see the small box in the inner side pocket. I zipped up the bag and flung the strap over my shoulder.

"What about you? You seem a little jumpy, didn't you sleep at all?" she asked.

_See? You're wound tighter than a fucking top. Chill out douchebag, you're on va-ca-tion. _

I kissed her on the forehead and smiled. "No, I didn't sleep, but I'm okay. I'm just planning in my head. I can nap when we get to the hotel."

"Planning what, might I ask?" she asked in a teasing tone, leaning into me lightly.

I knew exactly how to push her buttons, so I teased her right back. I leaned in close and whispered in her ear.

"All the things I'm going to do to you once we're alone in our room."

She blushed slightly at my answer, and her eyes darted around to the other passengers nearby as she pulled on her heavy coat and scarf.

"You're evil," she murmured.

"I know," I answered back with a grin.

We deplaned, and made record time in all the lines we had to trudge through. In just over an hour we'd retrieved our bags, gone through customs, and were climbing into a cab. Our driver was a friendly looking man with gray hair and a thick moustache. He stowed our bags for us, and then held the door so we could slide into the back seat.

"Quale è la Sua destinazione?" He asked.

I cleared my throat and tried to remember the correct pronunciation for my response.

"Le mie scuse, parli inglese?" I asked.

"Yes, yes I do," he answered me with a smile. "I was asking '_where am I taking you?_'"

"Oh, to our hotel please. It's the Papadopoli Venezia. Are you familiar with it?"

"Yes, I am. Very nice," he nodded approvingly.

Bella smiled at me, her eyes bright with excitement, and I put my arm over her shoulder and kissed her softly as our fingers wove together in my lap.

"Eh, you are very sweet couple. So much love. You are newlyweds? This is your honeymoon?" He asked, as he peered at us in the rearview mirror.

I sputtered for a moment, thinking how to answer. Unknowingly, he'd drawn attention to subject matter I'd tried desperately to keep away from Bella in recent weeks, in an effort to reduce any chance she'd notice my sneaky behavior and suspect what I was up to.

Bella laughed softly at his comment, taking it as an innocent compliment, but I tried to play it off.

"Uh, no, we're on a vacation. Just a regular vacation, for the holiday. Not newlyweds. Nope."

_Way to be subtle, asstard._

I could feel Bella's eyes on me, and I glanced over to see her giving me a look that said '_What's wrong with you?' _I simply shrugged and attempted to draw her attention away from me and onto the amazing scenery out the window.

We came to a stop much sooner than I expected, and I was surprised that our current surroundings looked nothing like the pictures of Venice I'd seen on the internet. We were near the water, but not near anything that looked like the main city.

"Sorry, but why are we stopping here?" I asked, confused.

"I can take you to here, but you have to take the motoscafo to your hotel. Water taxi. Okay? I'll get your bags."

He unloaded our suitcases and wheeled them down the small dock to the sleek boat, and I paid him generously for being so helpful and friendly.

I climbed aboard first then extended my hand to Bella to help her onto the deck. The boat driver took our hotel information and ushered us into the covered cabin. The bench seats were comfortable, and the interior was all warm, polished wood.

"This is amazing," Bella said in a hushed tone as she leaned over the seat to look out the window. "Isn't it romantic? We get to ride up the Grand Canal and enjoy the view while getting to stay nice and warm in here."

I couldn't help but grin at her as she snuggled into my side on the plush seat. She seemed exponentially more relaxed than I'd seen her recently. The store, the move, and then the holidays had really put a substantial amount of stress on her over the last few months, and my hope was that this trip would be a way for me to help her feel better, as well as a perfect way to execute the proposal I'd been cooking up for weeks.

The ride was fairly quick, and I was slightly disappointed, because Bella resting up against me as we took in the sights felt too good to stop. But I was ready for a shower and a nap. I felt grimy and disgusting after our long trip.

The boat pulled up to what looked like a private dock, and our driver helped us to disembark. Our bags followed, and we hurried to enter the lobby. I'd known it was going to be cold, but the chill in the air was surprising after the warmth of the taxi cabin.

A smiling woman greeted us at the desk and got us checked in, as Bella wandered the elaborately decorated lobby, her eyes wide. I grabbed our card keys and pulled Bella along with me to our room.

"I don't know about you, but I need a shower. I feel gross," she said, as she pulled her hair up into a quick ponytail.

"I couldn't agree more. Airplane air always makes me feel filthy."

I pushed open the door to our suite and dropped our luggage near the closet before immediately flopping onto my back on the bed. Bella must have decided to take advantage of my prone position, because she immediately climbed up on the bed and perched on my hips, leaning over me and letting her lips just barely graze mine. My body immediately responded to her, mostly because of the perfect way she was sitting on me. I swiftly rolled us over, pinning her to the mattress and kissing her softly along her neck.

"I'm going to shower. Wanna come with me?"

"I think I'd like that," she replied, sounding slightly breathless from my attentions.

I kissed her lips once, and stood up off the bed. I grabbed my shower stuff from my suitcase and stepped into the bathroom. In the middle of the room was an enormous claw-foot tub with fancy looking knobs and faucets everywhere. A long soak in a hot bath suddenly sounded much better than a shower to my aching muscles, so I turned the water on and dropped the plug into the drain.

As I undressed I called for Bella, but she didn't answer. I figured she was just getting her stuff unpacked. I called her again as I was sliding into the warm water.

"Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"Change of plans. There is a _huge_ tub in here calling our name. Are you coming?"

"Yeah, just give me a second. I can't find my phone, and it needs to be charged. Didn't you put it in your bag?"

I thought back to the last time I'd seen her phone. She'd been playing some card game on it when we were on the plane…then she'd dropped it and I'd grabbed it for her. I had put it in my bag. The same bag that…_oh fuck no…_

I jumped from the tub, grabbing a towel as fast as I could and launched myself out the door. I saw Bella with my carry-on in her hands, and she had the zipper almost all the way open.

"Bella, wait!"

I ran to her and snatched the bag from her hands, as she stared at me like I'd lost my fucking mind.

"I was just getting my phone."

"I know. I…just wanted to make sure you found it."

I reached my hand inside, angling the bag away from her, and pulled out her phone, iPod, and book I'd stashed there. I didn't want her to have any reason to look in the bag again. I stuck it on the shelf of the open closet and turned back to her with her belongings.

She was looking at me like I'd grown a second head.

"Did you seriously just leap from a bathtub, soaking wet, to help me get my phone out of your bag?"

_Quick dumbass! Distract her with bathtub fun times!_

"What? I can't do my beautiful girlfriend a favor?" I asked sweetly, trying to smooth over the situation. "I'm getting back in the tub. Are you coming?" I gently pushed my lower body into hers as I teased her with my mouth, biting gently on her fuller lower lip.

She whimpered then smirked up at me as she pulled her shirt off over her head, fully turning the tables by flashing her perfect satin-clad tits in my face.

"Not yet, but you're welcome to change that anytime."

She looked back over her shoulder at me as she unhooked her bra, and sauntered off towards the bathroom.

_Yep. Thoroughly distracted…_

The following morning we woke early, wanting to get a jumpstart on the sightseeing. After showering, I ordered us an array of pastries and coffee from room service while Bella showered and got ready for the day. While she was behind the closed bathroom door, I pulled the ring box from its hiding place in my bag.

I held the box open in my palm and tried to envision it on her finger. I was going for simple, but meaningful. I knew she wasn't into anything flashy, but when I'd seen the ring on the Tiffany's website I knew it was the one. The store near our house had to order it, and luckily it had come just a few days before Christmas. It was a platinum band, with ten small round stones channel-set into it– five on either side of a larger center stone. It was probably cheesy, but when I saw it I'd looked at it as one small stone for each year I had loved her, but didn't have her, and one large stone for the life we were now making together.

_Would you like some wine with that ball'o'cheese? You're supposed to make her swoon, not laugh._

I heard the shower shut off, and didn't want to get caught with the ring in my hands. I quickly stashed the box and stuffed the ring in my pants pocket.

Bella emerged from the bathroom looking radiant, and given where my mind had just been, I immediately needed to be close to her. I pulled her to me and kissed her hungrily, relishing the feel of her lightly glossed lips against my own. She tasted like vanilla and sweetness.

"Wow," she whispered when we finally broke apart. "That was certainly a perfect way to say good morning."

"Sorry, I couldn't help myself. You're too beautiful to resist," I told her, as I led her to the table of food. "I ordered a whole bunch of stuff. Let's eat. We have a lot to see."

…_and I have a proposal to make…_

We wandered along the narrow streets for hours, enjoying the many artists and vendors who were displaying their wares and taking advantage of the holiday crowds. The day was gray and damp, but it only added to the atmosphere. The small city felt cocooned in a blanket of mist, and it strangely made it feel more like home. Forks is wet almost all year, regardless of the season, and living on the water in Seattle wasn't too different.

We peeked into small shops, buying trinkets and souvenirs for our families and friends. Bella managed to find a set of handcrafted sparkly hair combs she swore Alice would find an amazing use for, and I selected a tacky gag gift for Jasper along with some leather covered journals for his book notes. I was sure he'd like the journals, but I couldn't wait to see his face when he opened his t-shirt that read "Hope you have a Grand Canal, because I have a big gondola!" I was sure he'd piss himself. It was filthy. He'd love it.

We were rounding a corner near a small art gallery when I started to hear faint strains of music ahead. I checked the map on Bella's iPhone, and saw that we were nearing the Piazza San Marco. The concierge at our hotel had told us at check-in that there was a huge celebration every year on New Year's Eve, and recommended we check it out.

"Feel like dancing?" I asked her.

She eyed me curiously, but nodded with a smile.

Once the square came into view, we were both astounded. There were tons of people milling around, eating and drinking, and there was a band on a huge stage complete with lights and what looked like giant twinkling hearts.

"Can you believe this?" She asked me.

I really couldn't. The crowd had a distinctly celebratory feel to it despite the biting chill in the air. Many people had wine and desserts laid out, while others were dancing and chatting happily.

We walked around the square for a bit, just people watching, until we finally spotted a free table near a less crowded area, and we set down our few bags. The upbeat song that was playing ended and the band started playing a slower one.

"Come here," I called to Bella, gesturing her over.

She walked towards me and wound her arms around my neck, as I held closely to me by the waist. We rocked gently to the music, and she angled her face up towards me for a kiss. I happily obliged, and what started as a sweet kiss quickly began to develop into a passionate embrace, with her hands tangling in my hair and my arms wrapped tighter around her waist. After a few heated moments she broke the kiss, and I reluctantly pulled away and feigned a pout.

"Sorry, sweetie, but this isn't Seattle. I think you can get arrested for stuff like that here," she teased, as pushed my now cockeyed glasses back onto my nose.

We finished the dance, and stayed for a few more songs, but it was starting to get dark and I knew Bella was getting hungry, so we decided to head in the general direction of my end destination. Bella didn't know where I planned for us to end up, but with a little searching on her iPhone, I found a café just a few blocks away from where we needed to be.

The darkness crept up quickly as we sat inside the warm, modern café, enjoying the break from the cold. After a delicious meal, Bella was picking away at the last of her Panettone bread pudding, and we were both sufficiently recharged from the strong cappuccinos.

I was glad she couldn't see me tapping my foot under the table. I didn't want to rush her, but I was growing impatient. My heart was about to pound out of my chest, and I didn't think I'd be able to breathe properly until I got through the rest of the evening. I put down my cup and dropped a few euros on the table.

"Almost ready to go, babe? I was hoping we could take a walk."

"Edward, it's freezing outside. Wouldn't you rather go back to the hotel and do the countdown there? I don't mean to be a spoilsport, but we've been wandering all day, and I finally just got thawed."

"I promise I will do whatever it takes to get you sufficiently warm later." I winked at her. "There's something I'd like to do before we head back to the hotel."

She stood up, pulled on her coat, and held out her hand to me. "Okay, Mr. Cullen. Lead the way."

I bit my tongue, and fought to keep my inner thoughts from coming out of my mouth. Every fiber of my being wanted to respond with '_After you, Mrs. Cullen.' _

…_and after tonight you'll be one step closer to making that a reality._

I _knew_ Bella would say yes. With all the talking we'd done about marriage and our future I was confident that she wanted to get married as much as I did. I knew she loved me; I had no doubts about that. After getting back together it took a long while for me to trust her again, but with a tremendous amount of honesty and love we came out on the other side closer than we'd ever been, because we'd finally started speaking openly; without any secrets poisoning our relationship. I knew without a doubt that we were meant to be together.

I held her hand as we walked the few blocks towards our destination.

"Look up ahead," I pointed to the opening between buildings. The mouth of the bridge was just coming into view.

"We can't stand under it this time, but we can certainly walk over it," I told her, pulling her along behind me. Her eyes were alight with excitement as she realized where we were headed.

"The Rialto Bridge? Edward, that's so unbelievably sweet that you'd bring me here. I was hoping we'd finally get to see the real one."

"Well, I have ulterior motives, I assure you."

She leaned towards me and whispered quietly, "Honey, you don't need to woo me to get lucky. We're in Venice. Hot vacation hotel sex is a given." She grinned at me wickedly, clearly mistaking my efforts as me angling for something.

"Bella, we both know that all it takes is one smile from me and you're putty in my hands." I gave her the most seductive smirk I could muster.

She tried to hold my gaze, but ended up giggling, as she reached up to kiss me softly on the lips.

"You might wanna refrain from looking at me like that if you don't plan on taking me back to the hotel right now."

I let the smirk drop off my face and laughed with her.

"So what are these ulterior motives you said you had?"

I took her hand and started up the stairs to the top of the bridge. "Come with me."

There were a lot of people going up and down, so I carefully guided her and navigated the crowd until we reached the top. It took a little maneuvering, but I managed to score us a place near the edge, overlooking the water.

I nervously patted my pocket for the small circle I knew would be there, and steeled my nerves.

"It's so pretty here, with the lights all reflecting off the water. And the mist makes it feel sort of…familiar, I guess. Don't you think?"

"I do. It's an amazing view." I answered somewhat anxiously, feeling suddenly overwhelmed by the significance of what I was about to do. I gently stroked the back of her hand with my thumb.

She turned her gaze back towards the water, and sighed happily. I used my free hand to straighten my glasses, then took a deep breath and steadied myself.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?" She turned to me and straightened her posture a little as she saw the seriousness in my expression.

It was time for me to do it. I'd bided my time for ten long years, pining for the girl that got away, and I'd spent the last year of ups and downs _with_ her; the most wonderful woman I'd ever known. I was going to make Bella my wife, because I knew I'd never want another woman as long as I lived.

I leaned in close to her ear, lowering my voice so I knew only she could hear me.

"Bella…I was too afraid to talk to you in high school, and I lost you. When I found you again I felt like a missing piece of myself had finally been returned to me, but my hesitance and your insecurities caused me to almost lose you a second time.

"These past few months have shown me what I have to look forward to for the rest of our lives. You make me a better man, and I can't imagine a future without you by my side."

She was smiling when she turned to face me. I pulled the ring from my pocket, and smoothly slid down onto one knee in front of her. Her brain quickly processed what was happening and she gasped, a hand flying to cover her mouth in surprise.

"Bella, I love you with my whole heart. I want nothing more in this world than for you to be my wife. Will you marry me?"

Her eyes glistened with unshed tears as she nodded, and I hovered the ring in front of the third finger of her left hand.

"So that's a yes?"

"Yes….oh my God, yes!"

I slid the ring down her finger then clasped our hands together tightly as I stood. I smiled and kissed her tenderly, wrapping my free arm around her waist and pulling her tightly to me. It sounded like the few people around us on the bridge had noticed what was happening and were clapping for us, but it was all just blurry background compared to the woman in my arms. I knew we were making a scene, but I couldn't bring myself to give a shit.

Because Isabella Swan, the first girl I ever loved, had agreed to be my wife...

Our walk back to our hotel was punctuated with stops along the way with her feverishly attaching her mouth to mine, or me being close to losing control and pressing her up against any available vertical surface. Neither of us were able to wipe the ridiculously wide grins off our faces.

By the time we arrived back at our hotel, I knew our faces were flushed from the cold and the want, and we were hardly able to keep our hands off each other. I impatiently took long strides down the corridor to our room, trying anything just to get there faster. Bella had to take two steps for every one of mine, but I just wanted to get back to the privacy of our room so we could celebrate properly.

I reached our room first, quickly opening the door, and turned to face Bella before entering. Her lips were parted slightly and even through the layers of clothing I could see the rise and fall of her increasingly labored breaths. I placed my lips to her forehead and whispered against her smooth skin, "I love you," before pulling her across the threshold.

"Edward…" she gasped as she looked over my shoulder.

I could tell from the light that danced across her face that my requests had been honored by the hotel staff.

Bella walked slowly around the room, surveying the new additions to our suite. There were easily ten crystal bowls on various surfaces filled with water, flowers, and floating candles. She reached into a bowl and pulled out one of the white velvety flowers.

"I can't believe you were able to get gardenias," she said as she inhaled the sweet scent of the flower.

"Well, I remember how proud you were the day we moved into our house, showing me you'd kept the gardenia plant alive all that time. Now when I see it every morning when I get my coffee it reminds me how far we've come. Do you remember why I told you I sent them to you?"

She nodded. "You said they reminded you of home."

"And of you. You've always been my home. It doesn't matter where we are, when we're together I have everything I need."

I took the flower from her hand and tucked it behind her ear. The feverish pace from earlier had been replaced with one of love and reverence. I unwrapped the scarf that she still had around her neck and helped her out of her coat.

I undid each button on her sweater, placing warm soft kisses down her chest and stomach as her skin became visible. I slid the fabric down her shoulders and arms as my mouth moved over her collarbone, kissing and licking at her flesh.

My mouth traveled down to the swells of her breasts and I rubbed my jaw against her exposed skin while my hands palmed her over the lace of her bra. No matter how many times I felt Bella against me or in my hands or surrounding me, I would never stop being completely fascinated with her body's reaction to my own.

I lowered myself to my knees, trailing my hands down her torso as I went. My tongue licked around her navel and I felt her body shiver against my mouth. I began unbuttoning her pants and she stepped out her shoes as I did so. She shimmied her hips slightly, helping me move them down her soft legs and off her body.

I shamelessly ogled her as she stood there in nothing but her bra and panties, the flower still tucked in her hair. My dick begged for release from my jeans, but instead I caressed Bella's thighs, parting them slightly. My fingers brushed against the soft lace as I made my path from her upper thigh to her knee and she whimpered at the contact.

I grabbed one knee and placed it over my shoulder, then nuzzled my face against the tiny bow at the top of her underwear. I continued lower and lower until my lips were met with the wet fabric between her legs.

"Fuck," I moaned as she pushed herself against me harder.

Bella fisted her hands into my hair, her movements becoming more urgent. I placed my open mouth over her and sat perfectly still until I felt her heel dig into my back. My hands firmly at her hips, I gently closed my mouth, raking my teeth against her clothed flesh.

"I need you," she rasped.

I needed her too. I stood up quickly and began pulling the clothes from my body as we kissed and stumbled our way to the bed.

Bella had discarded the remainder of her clothing as I got rid of mine, and I pulled her naked body to me. My hard cock twitched at the sensation of her skin next to mine and I pressed harder as I sucked at her earlobe. She squirmed against me and I moaned into her ear.

Her hand came between us as she grasped me firmly in her soft hand. She made long slow strokes up my shaft and would twist her hand over the head with each pass.

I moved my mouth to hers before my fingers traced the warm wet skin between her legs. Knowing Bella's body as well as I did, I knew she always gasped at the first contact, and I loved the way her head fell back slightly and her eyes drifted close when she did.

She pushed her hips up to me and I slowly slid one finger into her as my thumb traced soft circles around her clit. Her hands stroked more firmly, silently asking for more, and I added another. I pumped my fingers in a steady pace, adding more pressure with my thumb and could feel Bella getting close.

Before I could press deeper, she stepped back and climbed up into the bed.

"Not yet," she answered my questioning look, as she held out her hand to me.

I joined her on the bed, leaning down and kissing her softly as I lined my body against hers. Fitting like puzzle pieces, Bella spread her bent legs for me as I pressed myself between her thighs. She was so wet I slid back and forth against her skin, deliberately not pushing into her yet.

I pressed harder and harder, spreading her further open with each long slow pass. I bent down and sucked her bottom lip between my own right as I thrust into her quickly. We both moaned into the other's mouth as we moved our hips together.

I wrapped my arms around Bella's back and pulled her up against my chest. I rose to my knees and she wrapped her legs around to straddle me. We moved together slowly, closing every inch of space between our bodies, our chests pressed together so tightly we both moved with the other's breath.

Bella began riding me harder and my restraint crumbled and I slammed into her with every new thrust. I felt her tightening around me and I kissed down the column of her neck as she came.

"God, yes," she moaned against my shoulder right before I felt her graze my skin with her teeth in pure passion.

I fell over the edge with Bella, coming deep inside of her as she writhed against me, riding out her own orgasm. Our breathing was labored as we laid together, encased in each other's arms, neither one of us wanting to move and have the moment end.

After what could have been a minute or an hour, I looked over at the clock and realized it was nearly midnight. I kissed Bella's temple before laying her back against the bed. She whimpered when I pulled away to get up.

"You don't want to miss New Year's do you?" I teased, remembering how cute she'd been last year when she'd thought we'd overslept in Vegas.

"I completely forgot." She laughed, covering her eyes, with a blissful smile on her face.

I retrieved the chilled champagne and glasses that had been put out for us, and returned to the bed as Bella was sitting up against the headboard. She didn't pull the cover up around her and I smiled at how comfortable we were together.

I handed her the glass of champagne as we began to count down to the New Year.

"5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Happy New Year…" We said in unison as our lips pressed together.

After a slow soft kiss I pulled away and started to take a sip from my glass and Bella grabbed my hand giving me a scolding look.

"We have to have a toast Edward."

"Of course, would you like the honor?"

"To a love that was never lost."

I smiled as she repeated the same toast I had made last year.

"To a love that is forever." I added, clinking my glass to hers and toasting not only the New Year, but our new life together.

Bella Swan had made a space in my heart when I was sixteen years old, and I knew with the utmost certainty that she was the only one who would ever fit there.

She wasn't perfect, but she was perfect for me.

And now she was going to be mine.

Forever.

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**AN: This chapter has been brought to you by The Black Crowes' **_**Diamond Ring, **_**and SnozzberryFaery who has worked diligently and stressfully to bring you the very best ending to our little story.**

**Look for the alert for the Epilogue later this week, and keep us on author alert for a very special outtake that TFX has been working on…**_**hotness**_** – that is all we're going to say!**

**Since our last post pkitten21 has posted a new one shot from the Men at Work Contest called The Stone Masen, check it out if you like sweaty hard working men! **

**http://www**** . fanfiction . net/s/5926742/1/The_Stone_Masen**


	30. Epilogue: Feel Like Makin Love

**A long time ago in states very far, far away three totally cool ladies started writing together…**

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things twilight, we make Edward take his pants off and put his glasses on! **

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**Epilogue – Feel Like Makin' Love**

**Forks High School Class of 1999 – 20 Year Reunion**

**(EPOV)**

"_Give it to me baby, uh huh, uh huh,_

_Give it to me baby, uh huh, uh huh,_

_Give it to me baby, uh huh, uh huh,_

_And all the girlies say I'm pretty fly for a white guy…"_

I stepped out of the bathroom, shaking my head at the local DJ once again regaling us with the illustrious "Hits of 99", and scanned the crowd. On the dance floor Newton and his sidekick, Crowley, were stepping it up a notch from the last reunion by sporting moves that looked like something out of a Fat Boy Slim video.

I couldn't help but laugh as I watched a bromance at its creepiest, and internally cheered because patience is definitely a fucking virtue. _That's right, Baldie – I got the girl and you got…Crowley…_

I continued to search the crowd until I found Bella and stopped, taking a moment to enjoy the view before I rejoined our group of friends.

I knew I was probably grinning like an idiot, but some things never changed. My heart still sped up and thudded loudly in my chest when I saw her. Age and motherhood had been more than kind to my Bella. She was still so beautiful with her mahogany hair floating in soft waves around her face, creamy luminescent skin, and her full lips enticing me as she spoke. Although not quite as bold as the delectable black and red creation she had worn at the last reunion, the new dress Alice had designed was definitely just as sexy. The simple gray fabric hugged her in all the right places- just tight enough to show off her still slender figure, but loose enough that only someone as familiar with her body as I was would notice the slight thickening of her waist. She oozed sex appeal in a way that made my mind wander to the delights I would treat Bella to once we were alone, and my fingers ached at the thought of touching her bare skin.

I shook my head to clear my lascivious thoughts before they got out of control, and I resolved to do whatever it took to get her all to myself and back to the hotel room I'd booked for the evening. I would definitely have to do something extra special for my mom for taking on our boys for the evening and allowing me a rare moment of privacy with my wife.

Tonight was a night of memories, so I decided I wanted to have a little fun with it. I walked over to her slowly; she saw me coming and her whole face lit up. I took her hand in mine as soon as I was within reach and stepped around her to embrace her from behind. Her hand still in mine, I folded my arms around her waist and pulled her up against me as she continued to talk with Emmett and Rose, and Angela and Ben, who we had also grown close with since returning to Washington.

She settled back against me and I nuzzled my face into her hair - _Still all gardenias and honey - _as I listened to Emmett sheepishly tell us about how Jessica Stanley had propositioned him when he went to refresh Rose's drink.

"…and then after I turned her down she had the balls to ask me how old my kids were, because her daughter hadn't been able to get a date since she'd gotten knocked up…"

"Good thing Owen grew out of his Don Juan phase, otherwise you might have had a reason to worry!" Angela joked, having, like Bella, been the object of Rosalie and Emmett's oldest child's affections.

"Hey, my son has impeccable taste, just like his Daddy, so please don't insult him by suggesting he'd ever get within ten feet of a girl like that!" Rose retorted with a smile, defending her son, who'd grown into a very strapping young man, built just like Emmett, but with his mother's biting wit.

"Poor, poor Jessica. Not only is she now a grandma, but it looks like she's looking for a new baby daddy as well." Emmett pointed in the direction of the dance floor where Jessica was amusingly sandwiched between Newton and Crowley in a repulsive tangle of sweaty, drunken, flailing limbs.

Bella laughed gently as I held her, and I could feel the vibration against my body. Despite the grotesque scene playing out before us, my body still responded to the proximity of hers, fanning my need to get her alone. So, as the conversation continued around us I prayed that she'd play along and took the opportunity to put plan _Get My wife Alone and Lick Her Until She Screams_ into motion by taking a stroll down memory lane.

"Looks like Jessica has her hands full. What about you, Bella?" I asked, whispering in her ear. "Any kids? Marriage? Any of that?"

I felt her body shake with suppressed laugher and she whispered back. "Well, there is this guy I've had my eyes on for years…"

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah. Tall, handsome, and slightly nerdy…but in a sexy way." She sighed dramatically. "Sadly, I've heard he's married to this really hot chick and has a couple of kids."

I chuckled and hugged her to me, grateful that she was playing along.

"What about you?" She asked, continuing to indulge me in my game.

"Me? Oh, yes. Very happily married to the only woman I have ever loved."

"Any kids?"

"Two _very_ active boys." I answered and rubbed my thumb gently over her stomach where our hands were still clasped together. "And although it's a secret, we just found out number three is on the way."

"Sounds like you have your hands full." She said quietly, squeezing her fingers around mine.

"I do," I kissed the side of her head, "but I wouldn't have it any other way."

_Now if you could just get her onto the dance floor…_ The song changed to "_Kiss Me_" by Sixpence None the Richer, and she started to laugh. _Perfect, aren't you the lucky bastard._

She let me lead her out onto the floor and I pulled her in close to me, just like the first time we had danced to this song.

I heard her breath hitch slightly when she felt me pressed against her. It was always the same, amazing to believe after so many years that our need for one another had not lessened. I hoped we would always need each other this way.

The song had played perfectly into my desire to leave, so I continued to tease her with the memories of our last reunion knowing full well what the particular memory I had in mind would do to her. _You'll get her out of here in five minutes, tops._

So, just as I had ten years ago I gathered her hair off of her shoulder, and grazed my nose across her neck, just under her jaw, and I placed a single chaste kiss right behind her ear. She shivered just as I knew she would. I slowly moved my lips up to her ear and exhaled. She started to tremble in my arms, and I proceeded to whispered quietly to her as we continued to dance.

"Twenty years ago, I fell in love with you, but I was too young and too shy to tell you how I felt." I paused and kissed the spot behind her ear.

"Ten years ago, I foolishly thought I could free myself of the hold you'd always had, but instead found myself more tightly bound to you than ever." Her hand twitched on my shoulder and her body pressed closer to mine.

"Tonight, after all these years, I've realized that no matter how much I think love you, I can always love you more, and I cherish each and every moment you have given me." I sucked on her lobe, eliciting another shiver. I pulled back and searched her eyes for the love I knew I would find.

"Would you like to stay, or could I escort you home this evening?" I winked at her and smiled as I asked her the same question I had ten years ago.

"God, yes!" She tugged me through the crowd only pausing long enough to impart a hasty goodbye to our friends before making our way out to the car.

I pulled out of the school's parking lot and turned towards the hotel and Bella reached for my hand, lacing her fingers in mine over the center console. I looked over and couldn't help the smile that spread across my face at the sight of the beautiful woman sitting next to me. There were few moments when I had been happier in my life, but they had all been with her.

"Edward?"

"Yeah?" I looked over at her again, noting the mischievous tone in her voice.

"Dad and Sue aren't going to be back from their cruise until next week…" Her eyes twinkled and moved her hand to my thigh. "We could have the house all to ourselves."

She might as well have said '_Take me home and fuck me on the table like you did our first time_', because that was all I could think about when she mentioned Charlie's house.

I pulled a quick u-turn, and we made it to Charlie's in mere minutes. I loved this woman. She knew every secret fantasy I harbored, including the desire I'd always had to christen the new table Charlie had gotten to replace the one we'd defiled after the last reunion. At least this time I knew there was no way Charlie would find out what we were about to do, and this time I wouldn't be on the receiving end of one of his special talks.

We let ourselves in, and I relocked the door before joining Bella in the kitchen.

"I'm thirsty, do you want anything?" Bella asked as she filled a glass of water at the sink. The memory of her asking me a similar question ten years ago flitted through my mind and I grinned.

"What are you thinking?" she asked, as she turned around.

"I was just remembering a few specific times you asked me that question in the past," I said as I wrapped my arms around her.

"Mmmm, yes, I remember," she laughed.

I ran my hands up and down, gently rubbing her back. She leaned into me, resting the side of her face against my chest and hummed her contentment. Massaging her lower back with one hand, I moved the other up and pulled her hair over one shoulder to allow me access to her ear and neck.

"Isabella," I whispered huskily next to her ear. Her head tilted up towards me and I could feel her mouth spread into a mischievous smirk against my cheek. I let my hands slowly roam over her body, gently caressing every inch I could reach as we stood there in her father's kitchen. I grazed my nose along her jaw as I exhaled slow and hot over her skin before claiming her perfect lips with my own, the same lips that continued to tease me even after all these years, and she still tasted sweeter than I could have ever imagined. "I love you…so much."

As usual our kiss quickly turned greedy and hard. I licked her bottom lip, telling her to open up to me and our tongues slid against each other in a familiar dance. She bit my bottom lip, and I groaned at the rush of desire she always caused to surge through my body.

Passion raged between us, even more so since we were reliving those moments when we had first come together. But this is not what I wanted, not tonight. The first time we were together, here in this very room, our movements were hurried and desperate. We were caught up in relieving ten years of unresolved desire. This time there was no frantic need for relief. This time my senses were not overwhelmed with the discovery of her body's secrets; I knew her body as well as I knew my own. This time I was going to savor every inch of skin, showing her exactly how much I loved her, how much I wanted her. Tonight was about loving my _wife._

I tempered our kiss to a slower more languid burn, and ran my hands up to the neck of her dress and lowered the zipper, the tips of my fingers skimming across her skin as it was exposed inch, by inch. My hands trailed back up her spine to her shoulders where I slid the silky fabric of her dress down her body until it pooled around her feet.

She gripped my arms for balance and stepped out of her shoes and dress, toeing them out of the way before stepping back in front of me. Her eyes found mine briefly, communicating her desires silently. I knew her well enough that I no longer needed words at times like this.

I stood still and closed my eyes, reveling in the feeling of her touch as her hands ran over my body. She started at my waist, gently tugging on my shirt until the hem was free, and then moved up my chest, caressing me through the fabric of my shirt until she reached my shoulders. Pausing only for a moment, she started on the top button. I kept my hands at my sides knowing she wanted to take her time, and Bella kept her gaze on my chest as she unfastened each button to expose me inch by inch. When she reached the last button she swiftly slipped the shirt from my body.

Her hands slid back up over my skin leaving trails of familiar heat that I felt every time she touched me, and I closed my eyes for a moment, content to just bask in her touch. She made a circuit around my body moving her hands to my shoulders and down my arms before moving back to play with the sensitive skin just above the waistband of my pants.

I opened my eyes and reached for her waist, pulling her close enough to trap her hands between us while I took her lips in another kiss. She took her cues from me and kept it gentle and slow, all while unfastening my pants and letting them drop to the floor to join the rest of our discarded clothing. I carefully stepped out of my shoes and socks, because even after all these years I was not going to make love to Bella with my socks on. I wanted to be completely and utterly naked with her.

I kept my lips on hers as I maneuvered us back towards the table and shifted my hands down to her thighs, lifting her until she was able to sit in front of me, legs splayed to accommodate my body. We continued in our embrace, content to nibble and lick at each other's mouths, as we pressed our bodies close.

My hands moved up and down her sides teasing the outer edges of her lace clad breasts. When I'd had my fill of her lips, I gently leaned her back onto the table unclasping and removing her bra along the way. The tips of my fingers grazed over her hardened nipples, and I couldn't help but be amazed.

Her breasts were still perfect, even more so now that they bore the faint marks of motherhood, but as much as I wanted to focus on her breasts, I knew they were still tender and didn't want to cause her any discomfort, only pleasure. So I continued on, placing soft kisses and bites on every bit of skin my mouth touched. She was exquisite. Her skin was so soft, and her scent still drove me wild. I couldn't help myself from exploring every inch of exposed skin, paying special attention to the gentle rounding of her belly, which had just started to show.

Her body never ceased to amaze me. Where she had once been firm it was now softer, more rounded, more lush... Even with all of the changes childbirth had brought, her body drove me mad with desire; she was even more beautiful, if that was possible.

I parted her knees wider, and moving down to kneel between her legs, I drew my hand down, placing my palm flat against her. I could feel how wet she was through the thin lace of her panties, and as she shifted her hips allowing me to slide my hands under her soft ass to gently remove her underwear, then I leaned down into her, tracing my tongue softly over her.

I increased her sensitivity with my heated breath by exhaling while I swirled my tongue around her most sensitive places, then gently spread her so I could lick her with the flat of my tongue. She moaned and fisted her hands into my hair pushing my face into her. I moved one finger into her slowly pumping in and out, working her with my tongue at a similar pace.

Her hips started to writhe around me and I added another finger, moving faster and curling my fingers in to hit the spot I knew would bring her over the edge. She tightened around my fingers, and I continued licking her as she rode out her orgasm.

When her body had calmed, I kissed and licked my way back up to her neck and I used my nose to trace up to her ear and suck on her lobe gently. "You are still the most beautiful woman I have ever seen."

"Edward," All the love she felt poured out in the one word, my name. My eyes locked on her beautiful, full lips and my chest tightened with an overwhelming sense of emotion. "Please."

That was all the invitation I needed.

I groaned - I was so hard, my body throbbing with need for my own release - and placing myself at her entrance, slowly pushed myself into her warmth. She felt just as good in that moment as she did the first time I had been inside her, and no matter how many times we made love I would never tire of that feeling.

I slowly started rocking in and out of her, knowing I would need to go slow to prolong this every second that I could. A low moan escaped from the back of our throats as we thrust against each other, a testament to every sensation our movements caused to radiate throughout our bodies.

My movements were slow and measured. I wanted to take my time; watch the pleasure play out on her face, and hear it in the whimpers that passed her lips. I had learned what every sigh, moan, and muscle tick meant over the years. So, when I felt her muscles start to tighten around my cock, I sped up and changed the angle of our hips, increasing the intensity of each movement. I wanted to cum with her, so I let myself go and she rewarded my efforts by exploding around me as she breathed my name. I joined her over the edge, our bodies melting together while our breathing returned to normal.

I slowly helped Bella off of the table, relishing in the delight of just touching her bare skin, and couldn't resist caressing her sex-softened lips once more with my own before releasing her. I put my pants back on, and she of course once again evilly donned my dress shirt.

Last time we found ourselves in this situation, I held myself back from initiating round two in an attempt to be sensitive to her needs and not appear as an insatiable douche. This time I wasn't going to let the opportunity pass me by…_ Besides, this time she knows you're an insatiable douche and married you anyway, round two is fair fucking game!_

I crossed the room to where she was bending over gathering the remaining clothes from the floor. I grabbed her hips and pressed myself up against her, letting her know just what seeing her exposed like that did to me.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Were you standing there?" I teased. "I saw this perfect ass taunting me and I couldn't help myself."

"Is that so?"

"Uh…." All the air rushed from my lungs as she ground herself into me. "Yeah."

She pulled away from me and backed toward the stairs, smirking. "Good. I was afraid you might cheat me out of round two like you did at the last reunion."

I stood there speechless.

"I'll be waiting in my old bedroom, and don't forget," she turned around and started up the stairs, "pants off, glasses on!"

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**AN: This epilogue has been brought to you by Goldfinger's cover of **_**Feel Like Makin' Love**_**, and the nerdtastic pkitten21.**

**We plan on posting a very special outtake next Friday. So, if you haven't already, check out the outtakes we've posted previously under the very cryptic title "Reunion Outtakes" on our profile and put it on alert for our special gift to you!**

**We will start posting a five chapter short, entitled **_**Find Mate**_**, very soon and have some crack planned that we have yet to pen, so if you are interested in a little bit of Mentalward or some CryBabyward keep us on alert. In the mean time feel free to check out the stories on our personal profiles.**

**Thank you so much to everyone who has read this story, we appreciate every review and fave. You have all encouraged us along the way, and we feel fortunate to have had so many wonderful readers. **

**Thank you!**

**Pkitten21, SnozzberryFaery, and TFX**


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